repeatedly setting myself up for failure

innerbetty
innerbetty Posts: 59 Member
edited October 3 in Health and Weight Loss
A little (k'so maybe a lot) of back story about me and my habits:
Every week is the same routine. Monday-Friday up at 5am for work, home at 4 after working a labor position. I eat healthfully during the day and overeat in the evening (though still not over my caloric goals due to excersise). I can have a very filling meal and still imediatly start looking for something else to eat. Friday rolls around and I reward myself for a job well done or sometimes for a long crappy work week by going for beers or what have you. Saturday starts with a larger breakfast (like eggs and toast or hashbrowns, keeping it between 3-400) and then the cycle starts. Couch, fridge, couch, fridge, check the cupboard five times looking for nothing in particular, couch. Even if I have plans for the day I'm constantly thinking about food! I try not to keep junk food in the house (my husband takes his treats downstairs where it's out of sight out of mind for me), and although the fridge is full of veggies and fruits, I opt for junk, (potatoes are my biggest downfall. It's rediculous! I'll eat them in any form including frozen!!) I'm addicted to cheese as is my husband so there's no way to keep that out of our house and he refuses to eat fat free options so I almost feel like it's up to me to eat it when i do buy it or it will go to waste. Croutons (fat free), bread in most forms (though never white bread, always 12 grain or flax or any of those variety) ...whatever.

I know that it sounds as though I eat due to boredom. While this is often true, I can recognise that I'm bored and not hungry. This does not stop me. Being full does not stop me. Knowing I'm consuming way too much does not stop me. Water does not stop me. I am a smoker (like 9/day at work) but I don't really smoke when I'm at home (teen year habbits I guess) I'm beginning to think that my addiction to the kitchen is actually an addiction to smoking that manifests as "craving something but I don't know what" Obviously quitting would be helpful but I'm just not there yet and I fear that if I do quit I'll eat like theres no tommorrow.

Huh this totally took a different curve than I thought it was going to. I used to weigh 180lbs in high school and successfully lost 25 after high school ended and my schedule changed from the early morning, three break a day, nothing in the evening, Monday to Friday. Now that I've been back on a similar schedule I seem to have gained it all back. I'm frustrated and can't seem to get out of this rut! HELP!!!!

When I spoke to my doctor about it she told me just to focus on not gaining anymore in the next year and told me everything I already know about losing weight. I'm 5'4'' and weigh well, pretty much anywhere in the 170-179 range (it fluctuates a lot!) Many people are shocked when I tell them how much I actually weigh but I don't know if that's just to make me feel better or because I hide it really well (Ha! these people have never seen me in my bathing suit) I seem to do well enough when I count calories but never enough to notice and no matter how much I work out (or whether it's cardio or strength or both) I never seem to lose an inch or a pound. It also seems like the more concious I am of what I'm doing wrong the more I stuff into my mouth.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? How did you get past it? Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. And thanks for staying with my rambling thoughts for this long. :)

Replies

  • shellimus
    shellimus Posts: 158 Member
    My first thought is that your body is not craving junk, it's craving living enzymes, healthy nutrients, vitamins, and minerals. I would make sure to get tons of fruits and vegetables into my diet to give my body what it needs. The more you have, the more the cravings will disappear. I find that green smoothies help, because I really don't like to eat a lot of salad. Dr. Furhman has a great book on the subject, Eat to Live.
  • JRMcCaghren
    JRMcCaghren Posts: 114
    I can't tell you how much that sound's like me (especially the weekends). The whole thing of looking in the fridge/cupboard for something (anything) to eat is ridiculous, but I do the same thing. I've been on here 5 weeks now, so others could give more experienced opinions, but I have found that this urge goes away after about a week. When I'm exercising everyday, I (generally) don't have much desire to eat over my points. That said, on the weekend I do normally eat something special. A couple of weeks ago I had Papa John's pizza. This weekend I had a free-meal, where I didn't count calories at all. Little boosts on the weekend really help me endure. I wish you the best of luck. I think this will get easier as you adjust and form new habits.
  • vstewart27
    vstewart27 Posts: 7
    got any gym equipment? treadmill? cross trainer? if not and you can afford to.... buy one 2nd hand...

    After dinner is my worst time - and cookies are my 'thing' I can eat a whole pack if i have a bad enough day!! havent done that for a few years though!

    Water bottle infront of you at all times! flavor it with oj or metamucil if you have to

    Use the gym equipment... even if you sit on the floor doing yoga relaxing...

    I have a treadmill and use it every day sometimes twice a day! if I get into the cookies - which today I have...

    Also are you eating enough protein? I go over the reccommended protein dose... not on purpose but I guess the habit of protein before carbs or sugar to keep myself full has been ingrained like concrete.
  • charly_80
    charly_80 Posts: 45
    Ahhhh, with the exception of smoking (fortunately a habit I never started) this sounds like my life story!!! Eating for no reason --- grazing throughout the day -- looking for something but who knows what taste I was after!! Once I started -- it became crazy. I could be full -- bloated -- almost to the point of pain and my head would be stuck in a cupboard or the fridge looking for something. No, I wasn't bored either or at least not entirely. I felt it was an addiction to eating altogether. Every week I too made a gallant effort to stay on the plan and exercise but Friday night came and it was downhill from there just like you.

    I have found that if I enter my calorie count onto MFP right after dinner it helps as I don't want to go back in to enter more calories once I complete the entry for the day. For the weekend if I make plans during the week to go out and go hiking or some other activity that isn't focused around foods I can keep myself from grazing during the day.

    Can't help you with the husband thing as I have one just like it although mine doesn't take the junk food down stairs and even worse he sits on the couch right beside me (like now) and eats the junk food - sigh :-/

    Feel free to add me as a friend and we may be able to both come up with ideas to help each other move beyond the grazing - my grazing day was yesterday!

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  • psmd
    psmd Posts: 764 Member
    I hate to tell you this but you HAVE TO QUIT SMOKING. In terms of your health, quitting smoking is better for you than losing weight.

    I used to smoke, and I used to be obsessed with thinking about food, kind of like you. I've actually been in therapy for a few years and it's finally starting to sink in that I think about food and what to eat, DESPITE wanting to lose weight and be healthy, and it's a way of my mind sabotaging my progress. Realizing that has helped me break the habit better. Now instead I'm more obsessed with how to maintain my proper diet for the day.

    Quitting smoking is obviously not easy, but if you're smoking a 1/2 pack a day you can quit that probably cold turkey. It's all mental and you have to decide you're ready for it. I know it's not easy and also I was diagnosed with MS earlier this year which has made me much much more motivated, but still the motivation didn't come right away.

    Hope that helps a little, good luck!
  • innerbetty
    innerbetty Posts: 59 Member
    Thank you all for the reply's. I do realize I have to quit smoking...the worst part is I kind of have before (I stopped smoking unless I was drinking) I know it's totally a mind thing. Being stuck in the 6-4 rut of scheduled breaks helps me realize it's all habit, though when I quit before I continued to go outside on breaks and it wasn't until I had gone 6 weeks doing this that one of my good friends even noticed which I find easier than everybody telling you not to smoke...it's kinda like telling a five year old "don't push the red button" lol
    Today was a much better day. I came home and immediately started cleaning..down to washing walls. Kept myself busy until 7. So far I'm still over 200 cals under. Debating saving them for the weekend (hosting a surprise 30th birthday for a friend at my house an I kinda like my beer) or going for some pumpkin pie.
    I am bad at remembering to include veggies. I do try but it's better during the work day when my meals are planned during my guilty I-should-have-eaten-this-rather-than-that phases lol. I think I'm going to try just focusing on staying under my goals so I don't give myself the I can just work it off later excuse. My elliptical is in the basement, so I have to get it moved upstairs so I'll actually use it again. And my bike is currently right beside me and I do use it, but I recently twisted my ankle and it's only starting to feel better today and I don't want to push it too hard as I do push it for 8 hrs in steel toed boots on concrete everyday(coincidentally how I injured myself in the first place).
    Charly_80 I've added you, thank you. Most of the time I do my logging from my phone, so I've been at it for about 5 weeks as well but this is my first time checking out the actual site. I go through phases though where I don't touch my laptop at all cuz I get too wrapped up in what I'm doing to workout so I have to cut myself off lol. Thanks for the support and I hope we can help each other as well. :) How do you get the ticker thing?
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