Do you ever worry that your obsession wwith food/exercise co

Iamfit4life
Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
maybe I'm just a worry wart, but I worry about this with my daughter.


Usually if I"m eating something odd and she asks about it(like garbanzo beans) I just tell her I want to be strong and healthy and live a long life, and thus far she hasn't questioned it...

she went through a brief phase where she was making herself sick at school for attention and my ex suggested "maybe, it's your obsession wth your body and working out"

Replies

  • irunforfun
    irunforfun Posts: 113 Member
    Well, I consider myself addicted to running. I know it's eventually going to effect my kids but honestly, I just decided to deal with it when the time comes. They'll eventually know why I run so much and they'll know it goes far beyond just to keep a healthy heart. Kinda scares me, but I try my best to live in the now.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I do worry about it. My 5 year old son said he wanted to get fat so he could watch his mii on wii fit get smaller like mommy and daddy. I am trying to teach them that some food is better for our bodies and we can eat that whenever and that some food (pizza, twinkies, etc) can't be eaten as much. I am hoping they will learn to have a better balance and that sometimes they have to pick a healthier food because they want to have some of the unhealthier food. I try to do workouts that the kids can participate in when they are awake so they get used to the activity and expect that it should be part of their lives. Now if only I could start thinking that way myself....
  • HOSED49
    HOSED49 Posts: 642 Member
    My daughter is such a finicky eater anyway(7 yrs old), she could eat chicken nuggets or some form of them everyday if I let her...and shed also eat chips with her cereal in the morning too! She runs with me, she plays soccer, and I see my competitive spirit in her, funny to watch her do exercises with me...she's ripped from gymnastics too...I'm so proud of her!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Out of drinking, smoking, being fat and playing hours of video games.
    I'd rather give my kid a complex of wanting to run and eat healthy. Seems the best I can do is mess them up, mine as well make them crazy for heath.
  • homefree18
    homefree18 Posts: 10
    while it's totally true that kids will pick up habits and bveliefs of their parents (my dad hated bananas, and I now don't like them either) but to put the blame on your for what a lot of children, mainly females go through as a brief stage is preposterous. I assume from how you said you explain your new lifestyle in a healthy and upbeat manner, then the throwing up thing is probably coming from somewhere else. Kepp up the good work.
  • voluptuous_veggie
    voluptuous_veggie Posts: 476 Member
    First off, when did garbanzo beans become "odd"??

    Secondly, if your daughter was making herself sick at school, whether for attention or not, it needs to be looked into deeper.If your personal behavior about food is weird (panicking over bad choices, destroying food so you can't be tempted to eat it, etc.) and she is picking up on this, then it's a problem. If you're just eating healthy, I don't think that can be an excuse, and your ex is probably just trying to make you feel bad.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    There are a LOT of reasons your child could be making herself sick. Your ex has picked the one that puts the blame on you and hurts you. Would you be a better example to her if you did not try to live a healthy lifestyle and take care of your body?
    What did your daughter say the reason is? If she shrugged and said "I don't know...", chances are it was not to "be like mommy" (of course, I'm assuming you aren't doing that...)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    maybe I'm just a worry wart, but I worry about this with my daughter.


    Usually if I"m eating something odd and she asks about it(like garbanzo beans) I just tell her I want to be strong and healthy and live a long life, and thus far she hasn't questioned it...

    she went through a brief phase where she was making herself sick at school for attention and my ex suggested "maybe, it's your obsession wth your body and working out"

    if its just a few comments about odd food, i dont see how it would be an issue, but if your ex has suggested you have an obsession then theres probably a lot more to it than your post?

    i dont think theres anythign wrong with wantign to be fit and healthy, but if you cant have 3 days off exercise without it being a problem, or you cant have a burger when you go to a bbq, or a slice of your daugters birthday cake then it may become an issue.
  • vickijank
    vickijank Posts: 73 Member
    I think it all depends on how you go about it. The way you explained eating the garbanzo beans to your daughter was great and seems really appropriate. Living a healthy lifestyle is not something to be ashamed of. If you influence your daughter to be strong and healthy by eating vegetables, I don't see that as being a bad thing.

    However, if you notice your daughter having unhealthy habits around eating and exercising is when I would start to become alarmed but keep an eye on it. Open communication is the most important thing.
  • lor007
    lor007 Posts: 884 Member
    My daughter is only two right now. She eats healthier than I ever did as a child, and my goal is to keep it that way. She eats the same meals as me, with the exception of things she is allergic to. If anything gives her a complex, I am afraid it will be her multiple food allergies.


    She is asthmatic, so I am not sure how active in sports she will able to be when she is a bit older (that is, if she is even interested). I would love for her to enjoy exercise though, I hope that is possible.
  • ladybg81
    ladybg81 Posts: 1,553 Member
    I don't worry about it because I do not define myself as obsessed; just healthy. I want desperately for my son to make the right food choices and stay active because just like my profile says, I want him to think healthy eaing is just a way of life; not something you have to "try" to do or "work" at. BTW, he's almost 3. We talk about foods that are healthy and foods that are not. We talk about exercise and how it gives you big, strong muscles. He has some little 1 pound weights at home and uses them then shows us his big muscles. I think it's awesome that I am instilling these types of things in him because hopefully he'll never struggle with a weight issue. My husband was always chunky but I was never fat until I got preggers. Maybe it is different because I have a boy and not a girl, but I really do not worry about it having any kind of negative effect on him.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    I'm so excited about how my "obsession" with food and exercise is effecting my children. They want to be healthy and strong "like Mommy," so they can go for long walks with me. They love to do the exercise videos with me. My kids will both tell you their favorite foods are broccoli or parm tilapia (that's really cute when a 3 year old says it!). I think this is the best thing i've ever done for myself or for my children.

    If you're concerned that what you're doing isn't good for them, you should look closer at what you're doing, and if it's actually good for you. You should be able to share anything you're doing with your children and feel good about it.
  • jnettiedotson
    jnettiedotson Posts: 163
    Unfortunately, I have given this poor body image I've had all of my life syndrome to my daughter. She is 12. She thinks she's fat, and she IS NOT! She is thick, hopefully most of you know what that means. She has a nice shape, curvy hips, etc. My white family is not used to the thickness in some black women (my kids are biracial) and my brothers and ignorant *kitten* mother have made comments to her, and ofcourse they think they're funny...but not to a 12 year old who already thinks she's fat. I have always made jokes about my weight, almost so no one else could first...and now she does the same. It's insane tho, she's got like no fat on her. I have tried to encourage confidence, loving yourself, eating well, exercise, etc. I don't know what else I can do...
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    First off, when did garbanzo beans become "odd"??

    Secondly, if your daughter was making herself sick at school, whether for attention or not, it needs to be looked into deeper.If your personal behavior about food is weird (panicking over bad choices, destroying food so you can't be tempted to eat it, etc.) and she is picking up on this, then it's a problem. If you're just eating healthy, I don't think that can be an excuse, and your ex is probably just trying to make you feel bad.

    The situation with my daughter has been taken care of as far as her makng herself sick at school. She simply wanted to go home early to spend time with me.
    However the words of the ex did make me worry about what it could do to her in the future.

    I've worked hard to make it all about health with them. I still just worry, it's what I do.


    As far as garbanzo beans being "odd" it is a bit different in a society that mostly calls dinner a protein(meat, not beans) and a starch. Personally I think it's a delicious dinner!
  • voluptuous_veggie
    voluptuous_veggie Posts: 476 Member
    First off, when did garbanzo beans become "odd"??

    Secondly, if your daughter was making herself sick at school, whether for attention or not, it needs to be looked into deeper.If your personal behavior about food is weird (panicking over bad choices, destroying food so you can't be tempted to eat it, etc.) and she is picking up on this, then it's a problem. If you're just eating healthy, I don't think that can be an excuse, and your ex is probably just trying to make you feel bad.

    The situation with my daughter has been taken care of as far as her makng herself sick at school. She simply wanted to go home early to spend time with me.
    However the words of the ex did make me worry about what it could do to her in the future.

    I've worked hard to make it all about health with them. I still just worry, it's what I do.


    As far as garbanzo beans being "odd" it is a bit different in a society that mostly calls dinner a protein(meat, not beans) and a starch. Personally I think it's a delicious dinner!

    LOL, I was gonna say, I have garbanzo beans probably 4-6 times a week since I was a child, I'd just never heard them called odd before!
  • AloyMomNwife
    AloyMomNwife Posts: 146 Member
    I do worry about it. My 5 year old son said he wanted to get fat so he could watch his mii on wii fit get smaller like mommy and daddy. I am trying to teach them that some food is better for our bodies and we can eat that whenever and that some food (pizza, twinkies, etc) can't be eaten as much. I am hoping they will learn to have a better balance and that sometimes they have to pick a healthier food because they want to have some of the unhealthier food. I try to do workouts that the kids can participate in when they are awake so they get used to the activity and expect that it should be part of their lives. Now if only I could start thinking that way myself....

    We've always had pretty healthy eating habits but would eat too much and bake goodies too often. Also, I hated working out... I still don't love it but I'm making peace with the fact that it is good for me.
    Anyway, since I started exercising and eating better I have avoided by all means to say in front of my kids that I'm doing this to lose weight or to look better or to be skinny. Those are forbidden words in my household.
    I grew up hearing my parents complain about their bodies and doing all sorts of crazy diets only to gain it all back and ended up developing a very poor image of my own body. Sometimes I look at pics of me at times when I thought I was fat and guess what, I wasn't!
    I think that if I had learned to love my body and my reflection I wouldn't have developed weight problems at all. It was all learned!! So, I don't want my children to obsess about their bodies and grow up to be unhappy with their looks. I want them to learn that you eat right and exercise to be healthy and strong and have fun. Hopefully they get this from my husband, who enjoys salad dinners every night and loooves working out. Like she said, if only I could think that way! Maybe we will eventually. It just takes time to change lifelong habits.
  • JulieSD
    JulieSD Posts: 567
    I teach my children about healthy choices and want them to be strong and active. I feel that there is so much junk food/fast food out there that my household will just be positive reinforcement/ideas/trying new healthy things.

    But one thing that I have started to avoid is talking about my weight or weight in general or them seeing me weigh myself on Sunday mornings. My children are 6 and 3 and while playing house they started pretending that the Mommy was weighing herself. To me that is something that children shouldn't focus on. I stopped talking about it and they stopped talking about it during play. I dont want them to go through the normal chunky phase before they shoot up six inches and think that they need to be ashamed or feel they are fat.

    If they do happen to get too chunky for some reason, even though they eat a normal diet, we will talk about it then. Children have so much to worry about that weight shouldn't be one of them.
  • AloyMomNwife
    AloyMomNwife Posts: 146 Member
    Unfortunately, I have given this poor body image I've had all of my life syndrome to my daughter. She is 12. She thinks she's fat, and she IS NOT! She is thick, hopefully most of you know what that means. She has a nice shape, curvy hips, etc. My white family is not used to the thickness in some black women (my kids are biracial) and my brothers and ignorant *kitten* mother have made comments to her, and ofcourse they think they're funny...but not to a 12 year old who already thinks she's fat. I have always made jokes about my weight, almost so no one else could first...and now she does the same. It's insane tho, she's got like no fat on her. I have tried to encourage confidence, loving yourself, eating well, exercise, etc. I don't know what else I can do...

    Don't even get me started on old school family members who think it is funny to call kids fat or joke about their chubby thighs. Don't they have enough examples around them to see that it screws up kids heads?!? And IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!
  • ABetterBalance
    ABetterBalance Posts: 298
    I worry about it all the time.

    I grew up with very little self esteem and poor body image that was reinforced by careless/cruel comments from relative and classmates. As I child, I didn't listen when my parents told me I was beautiful, but I *did* listen when my grandmother would tell me to buy bigger clothes to "hide how big you are" or when a jerk in Jr high called me fat. The negative sticks.

    My daughter is a mini-me. Personality and body type, she's built like I am. And I am trying to figure out how to "fix" my own personaility and confidence issues so I can help her overcome hers or maybe prevent her dealing with the same things.

    Right now, at 6, she doesn't seem to concerned, other than the fact that she feels like the odd-one-out because she has blue eyes and the rest of us have brown eyes. But I try really hard to let both kids know we are eating healthy because it's the right food to fuel our bodies, and that we exercise to keep our bodies healthy and strong.

    I try not to comment on how much I hate my own body around them, but I am sure she's heard it at some point.
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