WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS?

As a whole we are such a self-conscious society with low self esteem. It is far easier to believe something negative about yourself than to accept yourself or, God forbid, accept a compliment. I am guilty of this as well, and am trying hard to work on it. It is very difficult, especially if we have been hurt in the past, we expect the worst. My advice? If you want it...

1. I went through hypnosis to stop smoking (and it worked, been 18 months now) and my hypnotist had a mantra she made me repeat to myself everyday at least ten times: "Every day in every way, I get better and better". I still try to say this everyday, even if it's right before bed. I find myself smiling toward the tenth repetition and wanting to keep going. It's hard sometimes, but it's working.

2. If someone gives you a compliment, smile and say Thank You!!!! No more self-deprecating remarks. If someone says "your hair looks nice today" smile and say thank you! No more "really? cuz I was just thinking it was time fore a cut." SMILE and say THANK YOU!

Keep your goals in your head and know that you will make it and that you are doing the right thing for yourself. Hope this helped a little!

(I too have red curls - your daughter is lucky

It's kinda crazy, but I think many of us probably feel very much the same way but hate to admit it. Good for you for admitting and recognizing it. My theory is that we never really know what's going on in a persons head when they look or stare. While you had one thing in mind, they said they had something different. You'll never really know but one thing is for certain. If their looking was directed at you and not at your daughter then I'm sure they will think before doing it next time. And you've learned too that you may not always be accurate at determining what's on peoples mind. Considering a life lesson and keep going with your chin up! God Loves YOU, no matter what others may say or think! :-)

It's just how warped our minds get about all this stuff sometimes, especially during stressful or uncomfortable situations, like shopping for clothes. It's hard for people to comprehend how preoccupied we are with our own self image. It's in our heads all day long nagging and reminding us that we're not good enough for things like clothes and beauty. This is a perfect example of being our own worst enemy. It wasn't the people in the store that were judging you, it was you judging yourself. I do this to myself constantly and I know it's much much worse than negativity coming from other people, you can't escape yourself!

There are of course people out there who do point and laugh, but they've got their own issues with themselves, they are even worse off than you because if they're insecure enough to be that superficial then just imagine how hard it is for them to be happy with their own image. At the end of the day you get to walk away from them forever, but theyre stuck battling whatever that wickedness is inside their head until they find the source, which sometimes never happens.

It takes a long time to learn to love and accept yourself unconditionally, but that's the true root of the problem here, not other people. I used to strongly resent anyone who said anything negative about me, but I realized that was only because deep down, I let a part of me believe what they said was true. It's not true. You are entitled to love and happiness and peace of mind and I hope you find them all.