I love the way you lie---- most entertaining lies you've bee

mrmarius
mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
I know we all hate liars and all that stuff but i do find compulsive liars entertaining. working at the railroad i have seen some of the wierdest people ever all assembled at one place at that. We have a few liars up there and one is extremely entertaining as his lies are always these long mcguyver like stories my favorite would be this one..

He and his wife were out on this bridge in their car when they see a yellow camaro with a couple dudes in there looking to cause trouble. the guys pull out shot guns and he tells his wife to grab the body armor that he just happens to carry around and wrap herself up in it, he pulls out his gun and magazine of bullets and gets to firing, realizing he's in a tight spot he backs the car up and starts speeding forward to jump this "incline" thats on the bridge sort of like a ramp as he flies over the camaro he shoots at it hitting the car and speeds off not knowing if he killed the two thugs or not..... and he tells this with a super straight face while i'm falling out the chair laughing

please share your stories
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Replies

  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    ridiculous!! LOL!!!
  • JIsh09
    JIsh09 Posts: 158
    Lmfao :laugh:

    When he finished LYING,did you ask him if he was dreaming?
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
    hehe love it!!

    Um..
    im not sure, i have a habit of believing peoples lies even if there a bit insane.
    Will have to think about it.
  • lik_11
    lik_11 Posts: 433 Member
    My bro is a habitual liar. Although not as entertaining- my best example to not believe anything out of his mouth is finding Whataburger in the trash, him drinking a coke in a Whataburger cup... I asked what he ate for dinner and he told me Taco Cabana fajitas. WTF?!?
  • CJK1959
    CJK1959 Posts: 279 Member
    That is hysterical! I could actually visualize the scene as if from a movie! Thanks for sharing, I unfortunately don't have any really creative liars that good in my stash!
  • trailgetter
    trailgetter Posts: 29
    Wasn't Tom Cruise in that movie! :-) Bwahahahaha
  • Andythefitfamilyman
    Andythefitfamilyman Posts: 420
    I have a coworker who has worked for the mob as a cleaner, been a champion snowborder and skate border, had has own construction company, has an engerngering degree, and have been a pastor.....and he cant get a better job ANYWHERE cause he says he "over quifled", so yes i think these lies are very funny
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
    I tell people I'm a real person. We all know I'm a gargoyle.
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
    I'd tell you but, after finally being told the truth after more than a decade, I am now part of the lie continuation committee.

    It's a good one. XD
  • Kemosaubi
    Kemosaubi Posts: 1 Member
    Hey what is his name, He is going to wish he had killed me when I get to him for shooting up my Camero!
  • Cat52169
    Cat52169 Posts: 277 Member
    AWESOME!!! LOL! I find lies can be entertaining and then I find the people that believe them even MORE entertaining. I had a friend whose man told her that he didn't get her text because he was at a red light and when the signal switched it must have deleted the text...............she believe him :noway: Oh same friend, same man.....he hung up on her and told her it wasn't him but he was heating food in the microwave and the timer went off and "blurred" the signal :laugh:

    Oh the joy of ignorance :happy:
  • Cat52169
    Cat52169 Posts: 277 Member
    Taco Cabana fajitas. WTF?!?

    LOL! Love it!
  • vaderandbill
    vaderandbill Posts: 1,063 Member
    A woman I know had a significant drug habit and had an overdose. After the doctor telling her family that they found fresh track marks in her arms, the tox-screen was positive and that she had overdosed, she told the family that she had an allergic reaction to lime juice...this was two years after she blamed an overdose and subsequent infection on dental work.
  • suemar74
    suemar74 Posts: 447 Member
    When I first moved to Indiana to marry my (now ex) husband, we were driving out driving around (gas was cheap then) and drove by a corn field with a large tree in the middle of it. It struck me as odd, so I commented on it.

    "That's the old hanging tree," he said. "Years ago, they hung this guy from it for whatever reason and he cursed them before he died. Ever since then, no one has ever been able to cut the tree down. It chews through saw blades and breaks chain saw chains."

    Intrigued by the story, and sure that the love of my life would never lie to me, I listened in wide-eyed innocence.

    And I told that story to people. Quite a few people actually, because I believed it for years. I even believed it when he told me a couple years later that lightening struck the tree, but the half that they used to hang him with still stood.

    Finally, after a few years of embarrassing myself, I realized that he had lied....and I was the most gullible person alive. :blushing:
  • agwilker
    agwilker Posts: 104 Member
    I started "going out" with someone when I was 15, he was a friend of a friend. I think it had been a weekend since it was official and I got a call in my homeroom class, so the teacher calls me up and I go and answer it (mind you this is in front of a class full of people). I think I'm in trouble. I say, "Hello?" It was that friend I met him through. She says "I had to call and tell you this, so & so says that he fell BMX biking and got a concussion. So he doesn't remember that you guys are dating." :huh: She makes him get on and tell me the same thing. I say that's fine, alright and hang up the phone as my teacher was wanting to know what it was about.

    A year or two later we chat on instant messenger and he tells me he just had a bad weekend. Luckily I could take it or leave it, so I wasn't too bothered.
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    I have a coworker who has worked for the mob as a cleaner, been a champion snowborder and skate border, had has own construction company, has an engerngering degree, and have been a pastor.....and he cant get a better job ANYWHERE cause he says he "over quifled", so yes i think these lies are very funny

    another of my coworkers was like that. he'd have all these former jobs that paid like 10 times more than what we make lol
  • skylark94
    skylark94 Posts: 2,036 Member
    Hey what is his name, He is going to wish he had killed me when I get to him for shooting up my Camero!

    There is no "e" in Camaro. :wink:
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    My ex told me that he played on stage with Alan Jackson, Montgomery Gentry, and Hank Williams Jr. when he was in his 20s (he's an OTR truck driver and a mediocre guitar player). He also said he used to make his drill sergeant laugh during drills in the USMC. He claimed his wife put a gun to his temple while he was asleep, and he woke up after she said, "if I can't have you, nobody can" and took away/disassembled the gun (shotgun) within seconds. He stated that his platoon flew into NORTH Korea and rescued a bunch of women and children in some midnight rescue operation, and then flew back to Japan within hours. There was much more, of course. Those are just the first lines of BS that came to mind.

    It seemed to be a genetic problem as his father also claimed to be a secret government assassin back in the 70s/80s.

    The saddest part was that I actually believed him when he first told me all of this, and thought he was so cool.
  • kiki75243
    kiki75243 Posts: 194 Member
    I used to work with a lady that used to always lie to get off work. It was either her asthma acting up or something wrong with her kids. Well she decided to say her grandmother had passed away and you know when u return to work you have to bring and obituary back. She actually made up one by this time we all knows she lies so my manager called the actual funeral home which they normally don't do. They had no idea who the lady was so when the manager asked her about it she said well they moved the body to another funeral home she'll go home and get the paper work. We never saw her again she didn't come back. I worked with her for about 3 months in that time she said she had a double degree, dated a rapper, had a cousin play in the nba, was an accountant but couldn't figure out interest on a loan, worked for Halburton but quit, said she really didn't need to work but she need a w-2 for tax purposes...uggg u name it she said it...we used to all sit around and talk about her lies...
  • zoodalia
    zoodalia Posts: 294
    I haven't a lie to tell you but strangely enough as I open this I'm listening to the end of The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel and they're singing 'lie lie lie, lie lie lie lie lie'.
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
    I became very rebellious during my parents' divorce but I was careful to cover my tracks. Well, one particular weekend I hadn't done so well and I came home to my mom reading me the riot act about being gone all weekend and I didn't tell her and threatening to ground me. Some how I managed to turn it around on her and told her she told me I could go and if she wasn't so concerned with her new boyfriend and paid more attention to me that maybe she wouldn't forget...blah blah blah....either way, I had her convinced that she had given me permission and she apologized to me for being so neglectful and forgetting... :laugh: A couple years ago I confessed this to her actually...we had a chuckle about it

    Best one that was funny that was told to me...I had customers one time when I was waitressing that acted like he was hard of hearing. I didn't question it and made sure I talked louder and pointed things out on the menu and so on....when it came time for them to pay the bill he shook my hand and said, "you were good sport kido" :laugh: :laugh: I was so embarrassed but he did leave me a darn good tip out of it
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    I know we all hate liars and all that stuff but i do find compulsive liars entertaining. working at the railroad i have seen some of the wierdest people ever all assembled at one place at that. We have a few liars up there and one is extremely entertaining as his lies are always these long mcguyver like stories my favorite would be this one..

    He and his wife were out on this bridge in their car when they see a yellow camaro with a couple dudes in there looking to cause trouble. the guys pull out shot guns and he tells his wife to grab the body armor that he just happens to carry around and wrap herself up in it, he pulls out his gun and magazine of bullets and gets to firing, realizing he's in a tight spot he backs the car up and starts speeding forward to jump this "incline" thats on the bridge sort of like a ramp as he flies over the camaro he shoots at it hitting the car and speeds off not knowing if he killed the two thugs or not..... and he tells this with a super straight face while i'm falling out the chair laughing

    please share your stories

    HA! Yeah I know them dudes. My one "friend" was military and CIA. He'd done "a lot of bad things." He also is suffering from terminal cancer. Has been for about 7 years now. But he never misses a night at the bar and looks healthy as ever...
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
    I know we all hate liars and all that stuff but i do find compulsive liars entertaining. working at the railroad i have seen some of the wierdest people ever all assembled at one place at that. We have a few liars up there and one is extremely entertaining as his lies are always these long mcguyver like stories my favorite would be this one..

    He and his wife were out on this bridge in their car when they see a yellow camaro with a couple dudes in there looking to cause trouble. the guys pull out shot guns and he tells his wife to grab the body armor that he just happens to carry around and wrap herself up in it, he pulls out his gun and magazine of bullets and gets to firing, realizing he's in a tight spot he backs the car up and starts speeding forward to jump this "incline" thats on the bridge sort of like a ramp as he flies over the camaro he shoots at it hitting the car and speeds off not knowing if he killed the two thugs or not..... and he tells this with a super straight face while i'm falling out the chair laughing

    please share your stories

    That happens to me almost every weekend. I need to stop going to random bridges where thugs hang out.....Its my fault really.
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    I used to work with a lady that used to always lie to get off work. It was either her asthma acting up or something wrong with her kids. Well she decided to say her grandmother had passed away and you know when u return to work you have to bring and obituary back. She actually made up one by this time we all knows she lies so my manager called the actual funeral home which they normally don't do. They had no idea who the lady was so when the manager asked her about it she said well they moved the body to another funeral home she'll go home and get the paper work. We never saw her again she didn't come back. I worked with her for about 3 months in that time she said she had a double degree, dated a rapper, had a cousin play in the nba, was an accountant but couldn't figure out interest on a loan, worked for Halburton but quit, said she really didn't need to work but she need a w-2 for tax purposes...uggg u name it she said it...we used to all sit around and talk about her lies...


    sounds like an ex coworker of mine also here at railroad lol... he would lie to get off always around his offdays and it would be something tragic each time, his grandmom died, wife was sick etc well the one that got him fired was he said his 24 yr ol daughter died. they made him come back to work a few days later because they saw a pattern so he gets to work he's acting all distraught and "has" to leave work. well the corporate folks looked into this found where the daughter should have been working and surprise found her there, they showed her the obituary her father made for her and her mouth dropped... i think what really over did it for him was that he said that he didnt have money to bury her so he had to dig the grave himself...... smh
  • leilani♥
    leilani♥ Posts: 579
    "I know you can't see it from my pic but I'm BUFF IRL"
  • Nogo
    Nogo Posts: 105 Member
    I worked with a guy that claimed to have designed a house for someone in the Phoenix Suns organization. The house was in the shape of a spider. That was the biggest doozy.

    And another habitual liar I work with told me that 3 days earlier she was in the emergency room with a 200 degree temperature. When I called her on it she said the thermometer must have been wrong. Since she is a cook I asked if she was using the meat thermometer…
  • mamijujuphat
    mamijujuphat Posts: 407 Member
    Where I used to work at a while back ...there was this dude who like to claim "love conquests" he had from work...how he got hot & steamy with someone at lunch time ...that type of stuff ....soon enough we had all started to realize how full of it he was ...when he started insinuating something between us ...I put a stop to it by calling him out on it....saying that "if we had ever made out ...I would've have sure remembered" ...he moved on to other girls ...but we all knew it was lies...& then he moved on to another job...in which he probably did the same thing
  • Portugueselove
    Portugueselove Posts: 255 Member
    I have a crazy neighbor that texts me the craziest ****. She said that i went to her house to weigh her while she was asleep in her bed. Another one was that i went to her house to steal stuff to bring it to my house to lure her into my bedroom. I was so heated that i went up to her door and cursed her out and told her to open the effin door and she was scurred she didn't do it. I told the property manager on her cuz she is the daughter of the owner of the houses we live ( almost like duplexes ) and the property manager said that she has mental issues and for me to be patient please. OMG i am so tired of her. If i knew she was crazy i would have never moved in next door to her. I am looking for another place cuz i'm tired of it.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    My brother thinkw that not getting caught in a lie is the same thing as telling the truth.
  • elimendoza31
    elimendoza31 Posts: 359 Member
    :laugh: That was just funny....i had a coworker that called in saying there was a death in the family on friday..but he forgot that he had all of us on fb..and they tagged him in at a concert drinking!!! monday morning was priceless when he walked in!!!!
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