Can't believe I'm obese
mamalula
Posts: 42
Just did the BMI calculator and it tells me I am obese. It is like a dagger going in, it is so hard to face up to! When I was pregnant for the second time I knew I was starting off the pregnancy overweight and it really worried me. But I actually managed to lose weight during my 1st trimester (mainly because of morning sickness) But I do remember a midwife telling me at a weigh in that I was obese, it was such a horrible thing to hear that I blocked it out. Anyway I can't tell anybody I feel so ashamed not even my husband who is my best friend and who I tell everything to but I just can't. It is so silly it is not like he can't see, like everyone can't see what a fat ugly cow I am so why not add obese to the list! I feel so low right now and I don't know how to pull myself up. Eat less, exercise more...I know, I know but why can't I do it.
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Replies
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In truth you are listed as obese if you are about 30 pounds above the top of your "ideal" BMI. That really isn't a lot but enough of a shock to hopefully lace up those running shoes!
Let it motivate you instead of depressing you to get it off!0 -
Please don't beat yourself up so much. I was 'obese' about 6 years ago, and "overweight" till just about 3 weeks ago, and now I'm in the normal BMI range for the first time in a long time. I credit this website with keeping me motivated and on track. You've taken the first step joining and it can really help you. The path to getting heatlhy is not an easy road to travel, but its SO worth it!!0
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I'm so sorry you're having such an awful time of it. I wish there was a magic thing to say to make it feel better, but I know thats not the case. The only thing I can think of is to give therapy a try? Sometimes feeling better about yourself on the inside makes it easier to deal with the stuff on the outside.
You are right. Eating healthier and exercise is the only way to get it done, but thats so much easier to say than it is to do. Never stop trying! Good luck- if you ever want to vent- please feel free to send me a message!
-Erin0 -
Don't let that get you down. Those are the things we need to use for motivation. Set a somewhat easy goal and go for it. Then set a slightly harder goal and go for that. You can do this. You have a lot of support on MFP so use it! Just because you're "obese" now, doesn't mean you will be in a couple months if you put your mind to it!0
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I totally know that feeling. It's horrible being in denial for so long until you can't do it anymore. That moment you realize how bad things have gotten is really disturbing. I started here at 210 (well into obese for my size).
The first thing you have to do is forgive yourself for getting here. Every day is a new chance to start something new in your life, so treat it that way. Make daily goals for yourself and take time to get some activity in, even if it's just a 30 minute walk. Think of it as just as crucial as brushing your teeth or showering.
Don't give up and just take things one day at a time. Hang in there!
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It will take time to change the way things are so be patient and dedicated. You will get there.0 -
You can do it. Start with logging all your food and exercise, even if you don't change anything at first. Then you get an idea of where you can make changes.
Don't worry about being obese. It doesn't mean anything. You already knew your size and it didn't change. Obese is just an arbitrary word.0 -
hang in there...I've lost 53 pounds and I'm still considered "overweight"..sucks to be 5'2!!!!! You can do this!!!!0
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You didn't put it on overnight and it won't come off overnight. I have been walking for 6 months with a girl who started out at 314 and she now weighs 255 and is the most determined person I've ever met. Self-discipline. Stop feeling bad about it and get started with your plan.0
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You gotta hit that switch and do it. I just barley slid under out of the " obese" range on monday when i weighted in. My BMI is 29.5. That term "obese" on the BMI chart really messes with you. It makes you feel like s?@t! The fact that your on here is a huge step. I've never been as dedicated as I am on here. I've been here 35 days today and I had lost 8lbs as of Monday. You can do this.0
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the first thing you need to do is stop beating up on yourself so you are obese, you dont have to stay that way. this mfp is a great tool with lots of great people to help keep you motivated , and share what they are doing to lose , and its a lot of people on here who were obese and have lost lots of weight. You can do it too! I found it very motivating to look at some of the before and after pics because i kept starting and stopping and losing a little and gaining a little. but now im determined that im going to do it and so can you! and its not about being on a diet its about deciding to make a lifestyle change.0
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It just means you know where you're starting, and you will so appreciate it when you look back at that BMI table and are OUT of that range. You can do this. You are worth it. It WILL be a struggle sometimes, but just keep going. You will eventually get there. If it's overwhelming right now, start small. Start taking a walk every day, even if it's just around and around your couch. When you move your body, you motivate it. On your diet, cut out one bad thing every week or month, and replace it with something healthy that you REALLY like. My first one was baked sweet potato fries as an alternative to fast food fries. Now I would RATHER eat them! Start small, and build on it. I read on here today, that losing weight is hard, but then again so is BEING overweight, so choose which way you're going. We really are in control. :-)0
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I remember taking the "Real Age" test online a few years ago and finding out that I was classified as Obese category 2. !!
Thing is, I look pretty much the same to myself in the mirror whether I weigh 120 or 220. My mind just doesn't process my body image. What DID get to me (rather painfully) was to compare photos of myself from different years. Then I could see it. Oh, and finding an old pair of riding pants from when I was in my 20's, and laying them down on a pair of jeans from in my mid-40's. Ouch!!!
Soooo... I swallowed my pride and quit swallowing the Taco Bell, and fixed it ;-)0 -
oh, what a fantastic step you have taken joining this site. i too have been obese in the past, and it is a horrible feeling, and i felt disgusting too. you can loose the weight, this site is amazing, and yopu can see pics and stories of people who have been oin your shoes, and changed things around. please add me as a friend and i will help support you on your journey, it moight not be easy at first, but with a friendly ear, and support, i know you can do it. and feel happy about yourself againxxxx0
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Ahh sweets you HAVE to use that for your motivation! I was upset about the fact that i was 278. I mean painfully upset. Buttttt i said to myself if i dont do anything about it now i am only going to get bigger! That wasnt an option!! I am currently 253. I have never felt better about my confidence. I also blamed someone or something about my eating and non exercising habits. I felt like i had everything but i needed to change myself. Its not all smooth sailings but its worth every piece of fast food i dont put in my mouth. If i do have stuff i shouldnt i feel slightly guilty and move on! I keep going! We are all here for support and are fighting the same battle no matter how big or small! So what if you are obese move on and take care of it!!! I havent told my fiance my weight because i feel like this is my battle! Once i hit a size i want i will tell him some day! If i can do this YOU CAN DO THIS!!! i still have another 80 lbs to get down and its going to happen!!0
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I am in the same boat as you. I get in the same type of beat down moods and start feeling disgusted and stressed and disgusted even more. I actually think feeling that way is a big part of why losing weight and staying on track towards a goal is even harder. you cant think that way about yourself. Be grateful for being able to have two kids and appreciate the husband you have and just try and focus on some YOU time. It will benefit your whole family if you felt better about yourself and dont worry so much about what all of the charts say. There are tons of us out there struggling the same way as you are. Its just going to be long hard road but worth it.0
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First of all, I'm sure you aren't a fat ugly cow.
Second of all, we all came here for the same reason: to get help losing weight and not finding it again.
Thirdly, make sure you want to lose weight for yourself and don't base it upon what others think for you.
Fourth, feel free to add me.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Congrations. Step #1 - admitting you have a problem to yourself -- is one of the hardest steps to take. Many people cannot get to step #1. Step #2, tell your best friend -- your husband -- what you just told strangers. He loves you more than anyone in the world. If you cannot spit out the words, then write them on paper and tell him how you feel. "And the two shall become one." Step # 3, begin the new healthy you. Do NOT go on a crazy diet. Go on a healthy lifestyle diet. Target to lose 1 to 2 pounds a week through eating fresh foods, cutting calories and fat and making time for sweaty exercise. And as for your obese status, who cares now that you have committed to change. That is old news in light of then new healthy you, which begins now. :happy: :happy: " Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, Thats why it's called the Present"0
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OK Mamalulu (great name by the way!) you have taken the first step and acknowledged a problem AND you are doing something about it so you should be celebrating!!! And here is the good news - the heavier the starting weight the quicker will be the initial weight loss. You will slow down and get to a steady 1-2lb a week. But measure yourself tonight (it's 8.45pm where I am!) because that will really show you results faster than weight loss. Add me as a friend!0
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Honey please don't think like that, although I do understand as I've been there. I've been obese all my life, and because I carry it mostly in my waist and bum it makes my body look out of proportion but I still don't look fat. All my family and friends are slim and have never had an issue with their weight so I'm totally alone. Keep doing mpf as the support is overwhelming, plus you know that everyone has the same issue. Good luck and don't give up.0
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#1 - Obese truly is one of the ugliest words in the English language as far as I'm concerned. I much prefer Rubenesque - you're in France, so definitely go with that! And remember, it's just a word, just like your weight is just a number, it doesn't define you - unless you let it.
#2 - Mind your words - calling yourself a fat ugly cow is NOT helpful to anything. The words you use truly affect your mindset and a positive attitude makes a world of difference when you're trying to lose weight and get healthy.
#3 - Baby steps. Don't dive in headfirst and try to cut your calories too much too fast. Gradually ween yourself down to a level you can maintain. Start by eating more veggies and trying to get lots of fibre to help keep you full. Cut down your portion sizes and try to start moving a little bit each day then work yourself up to a little more vigorous workout when you can fit it in.
#4 - With two small babes in the house, it might be tough to get out of the house to exercise, so find workout dvds you can use at home and get a good stroller so you can take them for long walks.
#5 - Track everything you eat and be honest about it - you're only hurting yourself by 'cheating'.
#6 - Don't be afraid to cheat! Allow yourself a day a week when you can eat whatever you want. It will help to keep you on track and make you feel like you're not making a lifelong sacrifice (which I personally could never accept and stick with).
#7 - MFP is great! The calorie counting and exercise tracking are awesome, but so is the support of friends - it can help to have support to keep you on track.
#8 - Make a game of it! Get a calendar and mark some goals on it. Decide how many calories you are going to allow yourself each day and give yourself 'points' or gold stars for every day you stick with your eating or exercise plan, then plan rewards for meeting your goals. Bribery is a great motivator (at least for me!) - use it liberally!
#9 - Every day is a new day. If you "blow it" one day, just start fresh the next day. If you "blow it" one meal or one snack, enjoy it for a minute, then shake it off and get back on track. Confessing it to your friends is usually a good idea, cuz they will always be there to remind you to get back on track, or to get up and work it off. Don't let guilt keep you down. Literally, get your attitude back up and your butt back up and moving.
#10 - If at all possible, find some kind of support locally. Feeling isolated and alone will only make it harder, so make connections wherever you can. Find an exercise class, a mom & tot group, a book club, or take a class somewhere so you can meet some people with similar interests.
Most importantly, Keep Smiling! Feel good about what you're doing!!! You deserve to be proud of yourself and to feel good about making better choices every day, every time!
Good Luck!0 -
Obese is a label defined by human beings, not a natural category that exists out there in the real world. It's been concocted by the government, which changed the standard in 1998 making the percent obese in this country jump from 15% to 37%. By this new standard, a lot of sports figures qualify as obese. See:
http://www.obesitymyths.com/myth1.1.htm
As is pointed out in the above article (and as noted by Madroch), the standard BMI calculation doesn't take into account muscle mass ... which means it counts more than 50% of NFL players as obese.0 -
#1 - Obese truly is one of the ugliest words in the English language as far as I'm concerned. I much prefer Rubenesque - you're in France, so definitely go with that! And remember, it's just a word, just like your weight is just a number, it doesn't define you - unless you let it.
#2 - Mind your words - calling yourself a fat ugly cow is NOT helpful to anything. The words you use truly affect your mindset and a positive attitude makes a world of difference when you're trying to lose weight and get healthy.
#3 - Baby steps. Don't dive in headfirst and try to cut your calories too much too fast. Gradually ween yourself down to a level you can maintain. Start by eating more veggies and trying to get lots of fibre to help keep you full. Cut down your portion sizes and try to start moving a little bit each day then work yourself up to a little more vigorous workout when you can fit it in.
#4 - With two small babes in the house, it might be tough to get out of the house to exercise, so find workout dvds you can use at home and get a good stroller so you can take them for long walks.
#5 - Track everything you eat and be honest about it - you're only hurting yourself by 'cheating'.
#6 - Don't be afraid to cheat! Allow yourself a day a week when you can eat whatever you want. It will help to keep you on track and make you feel like you're not making a lifelong sacrifice (which I personally could never accept and stick with).
#7 - MFP is great! The calorie counting and exercise tracking are awesome, but so is the support of friends - it can help to have support to keep you on track.
#8 - Make a game of it! Get a calendar and mark some goals on it. Decide how many calories you are going to allow yourself each day and give yourself 'points' or gold stars for every day you stick with your eating or exercise plan, then plan rewards for meeting your goals. Bribery is a great motivator (at least for me!) - use it liberally!
#9 - Every day is a new day. If you "blow it" one day, just start fresh the next day. If you "blow it" one meal or one snack, enjoy it for a minute, then shake it off and get back on track. Confessing it to your friends is usually a good idea, cuz they will always be there to remind you to get back on track, or to get up and work it off. Don't let guilt keep you down. Literally, get your attitude back up and your butt back up and moving.
#10 - If at all possible, find some kind of support locally. Feeling isolated and alone will only make it harder, so make connections wherever you can. Find an exercise class, a mom & tot group, a book club, or take a class somewhere so you can meet some people with similar interests.
Most importantly, Keep Smiling! Feel good about what you're doing!!! You deserve to be proud of yourself and to feel good about making better choices every day, every time!
Good Luck!
Such great advice!!!0 -
First of all, I'm sure you aren't a fat ugly cow.
Second of all, we all came here for the same reason: to get help losing weight and not finding it again.
Thirdly, make sure you want to lose weight for yourself and don't base it upon what others think for you.
Fourth, feel free to add me.
:flowerforyou:
Well said.
I have lost 30 pounds and still obese according to BMI. BMI, I think that's a number created by a man who thinks everyone should look like a super model. You have made a step in the right direction coming to MFP. I love it here. It keeps me motivated by holding me accountable. But as stated above, you have to do it for yourself, not others. One thing I have discovered though is that as my body is getting smaller, my self image is getting bigger. Feel free to add me as well. We can all use extra support.0 -
I share your feelings Mamalulu. A couple of days ago I was feeling good about myself so I decided to check how far I was from the overweight category. I thought maybe 5-10 lbs away... 30 lbs away!! I was so upset and frustrated but like all MFPs have written, we just have to ignore the stupid BMI tables and be determined to lose weight to feel better with and about ourselves.
I am very ashamed of my weight too. I only tell my husband "I lost a pound", never the number on the scale. In less than one year I gained back ALL the pregnancy weight... yup, I lost every pound in 6 months and gained it all back in the next 6. 5 lbs ago I was as heavy as when my baby was about to be born!
I know it is upsetting but after the crankiness settles, breath and start. MFP is the best thing I have found for support and motivation. Log in daily and keep track of your food and other people going through the same thing. You are not alone! WE are not alone!!0 -
Hi MamaLula, I am a mum for 9 months and my BMI is 42. I am a BIG woman and I know I have to loose weight to be able to keep up with my very active child . That is why I joined last Sunday. You just have to believe that you look good, feel good and do your best to loose those few extra kg you gained. I wish you good luck. Feel free to add me 0
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