Judging bodies at the Gym

jellybaby84
jellybaby84 Posts: 583 Member
edited October 3 in Fitness and Exercise
I read so much on here that is along the lines of 'nobody gives anybody else's body a second glance', 'nobody notices what anybody else looks like', 'nobody will be thinking about you'.

Are we just placating each other here or is it really, honestly true for most of you?

As someone who is obsessed with and paranoid about my own body shape I can't possibly not notice other people's. When I walk into my gym classes the first thing I will do is mentally line everyone else up in order of weight and see where I think I fit into it. If I am one of the thinner ones I am happy at the front and confident to bounce around for the hour, feeling light and pleased with myself. If I am one of the heavier ones I skulk to the back and fear to jump too high in case people think I am wobbling and fat.

This isn't unusual surely? We watch our own body shape ergo we watch other people's?
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Replies

  • doughnutwretch
    doughnutwretch Posts: 498 Member
    I don't judge people and think poorly of them, but I will use people as motivating tools. For example, yesterday there was a lady working weights who had fantastic arms, shoulders and upper back so I used her as my motivation to push through my third set that was kicking my *kitten*. Told myself "she didn't get arms like that by punking out on her third set".

    As far as your body issues, that's why you're at the gym. Don't worry about other people seeing you when you're working out. You're taking the steps necessary to getting fit and that's what matters. Just do it.
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
    I wonder what they weigh, what's their endurance, what can they lift. Shape is deceiving... When I see an older women with a fabulous rack, I have to ask (myself) if it's been enhanced, but mostly I wonder about how much they weigh.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    When I walk into my gym classes the first thing I will do is mentally line everyone else up in order of weight and see where I think I fit into it.

    I do the same, but in my case I am trying to gauge the intensity of the class and if I am going to horribly fail and embarrass myself and be the fatty in the class :( Boo.
  • thankyou4thevenom
    thankyou4thevenom Posts: 1,581 Member
    I honestly don't care.

    I might look at the weight lifters and think they look in good shape or see an obese woman on an exercise bike and think 'good for you' but that's it. Beyond that I'm concentrating so hard on my own workout and pushing myself no one else comes into it.
  • wbgolden
    wbgolden Posts: 2,066 Member
    I look, yes. I notice, yes. But I don't judge.

    Sometimes I look longer than other times lol
  • Hanna82
    Hanna82 Posts: 138 Member
    i love the honesty of this thread. i'm going to be honest as well. when i'm out or at the gym i admit that i size up the people around me. i don't even know why i do it. people that i'm closest to in my life come in all shapes and sizes and i don't judge them. this is a weird concept to become conscious of.
  • karinaes
    karinaes Posts: 570 Member
    aside from thinking to myself, "wow, he/she looks great! their hard work definitely shows"
    i could care less what "category" people are in at any given moment
  • gradgal01
    gradgal01 Posts: 46 Member
    I definitely don't go into the gym judging people by appearance. I'll look at what they're doing for ideas for my workout, or look at their form, or something along those lines. If I do, though, it's no different than my real-life gauging of whether an overweight woman is heavier than me. But I know I look ridiculous, so I generally appreciate anyone else who does too.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I'm oblivious. I only notice the people who are trying to be noticed... the girls with an extra set of cheeks to powder, the guys in muscle tanks with armholes down to their waistband... how is that even a shirt? Or if they're in my way, like someone hogging the pullup bar for a half hour straight. Most everyone else blends into the background.
  • jennifir
    jennifir Posts: 197 Member
    I don't think it's a matter of judging more of seeing where I fit in cause I notice peoples bodies too but not to judge. And 90% of the time I think they all look way better than me and I'm trying to look like them. If that makes any sense.
  • jakejacobsen
    jakejacobsen Posts: 584 Member
    I love to people watch at the gym, you can't help but notice the really fit people and not wonder if they have always been that way or if the journey to fit started at obese.

    There is a silver slippers (seniors) group that meets at my gym and they are my favorite to watch. Some aur so fit I hope to be that mobile at there age and then there is this one guy who can hardly walk he is so big. Its a great motivation for me to see them and chose who I want to be.
  • I don't judge people and think poorly of them, but I will use people as motivating tools. For example, yesterday there was a lady working weights who had fantastic arms, shoulders and upper back so I used her as my motivation to push through my third set that was kicking my *kitten*. Told myself "she didn't get arms like that by punking out on her third set".

    DITTO!
  • AZTrailRunner
    AZTrailRunner Posts: 1,199 Member
    I look, yes. I notice, yes. But I don't judge.

    Sometimes I look longer than other times lol


    ^^^ THIS
  • tkacomet
    tkacomet Posts: 73 Member
    I dont go to a gym. but when I see people working out, and especially overweight/out of shape people, my first thought is, "good for you! You can do it!"

    The thing is, there are overweight and out of shape people everywhere. if you mentally judged them all all of the time, you'd never have any mental energy left. the difference is at the gym (or wherever) they are TRYING. so my mental judgement is applause.
  • I honestly don't care.

    I might look at the weight lifters and think they look in good shape or see an obese woman on an exercise bike and think 'good for you' but that's it. Beyond that I'm concentrating so hard on my own workout and pushing myself no one else comes into it.

    Same here. :)

    Sometimes I want to go up to people who are obese but really working hard and say "Good job! Don't give up! You can doooo iiiittt!", but I don't think they'd appreciate it. lol. So I cheer them on in my head. :D
  • kya101
    kya101 Posts: 37
    I definitely feel the same way you do. I hate to admit it, but I try to go to the gym when it's down time or quiet and I do lots of at home workouts. I do try to tell myself that they're not looking at me and it's only me that feels that way and looks at everyone else. I do believe it's just my low confidence, which I am working on! Keep it up and don't let it stop your journey!
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    I can admit I've done the same thing. I try not to but I do always feel bad if I'm walking on a treadmill next to a skinny girl running at 7.0mph...at the same time though, it's motivating because I know that by working hard, I can get there too. And when I see bigger people, it's actually encouraging to me because I feel like if they can do it, I can do it too. Even when I was only 120, I felt that way- it helped me keep going when I wanted to stop- I never judged anyone. Anyone who would judge you for your weight isn't worth caring about- it sounds cheesy but it's true. Losing even just a few pounds helps too. I felt horrible at my highest weight. I've lost 17 lbs since then (with about 55 still to go) and even though I'm still overweight, I still feel way more confident than I did before and less self-conscious.
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    I dont judge, because I know I look silly anyways at the gym...I try not to look at anyone because I would hope no one is looking at me lol
  • So I replied before reading the post directly above mine. CREEPY! lol :D
  • I don't judge people and think poorly of them, but I will use people as motivating tools. For example, yesterday there was a lady working weights who had fantastic arms, shoulders and upper back so I used her as my motivation to push through my third set that was kicking my *kitten*. Told myself "she didn't get arms like that by punking out on her third set".

    As far as your body issues, that's why you're at the gym. Don't worry about other people seeing you when you're working out. You're taking the steps necessary to getting fit and that's what matters. Just do it.

    When I see heavier people at a class that is too advanced for them I feel bad for them because they probably should do something else because they could hurt themselves. That doesn't happen very often. I do look around at other women at the gym and if I see someone wiht great arms or legs I use them as motivation. I smile when I see someone struggling through a difficult step (group class) or with heavy weights and I hope they don't give up because eventually they'll reach their goals just like I am working through my personal barriers to reach mine. If you saw me at the gym you probaby couldn't guess how much I weigh or how much I can lift and it is because everyone carries weight differently and weight like age is just a number. The real indication of fitness is your ability to perform excercises correctly for a period of time without hurting yourself. If your heart is healthy to run a 10K and your BMI is a little too high then who cares? the road is bumpy but the key to success, i think, is focusing on YOUR own goals not society's or somebody else's.
  • I think it depends on what kind of gym you go to. When I was a part of 24 hour fitness, there were the people that did their own thing, but there were also the people that always attracted attention.

    Once while I was there, a girl who worked out in booty shorts and a bra actually playfully tackled some guy she was talking to. Kind of hard not to notice the people rolling on the floor over there.... hmm.

    I try not to notice other people and just do my own thing. But I've been noticed to the point of the 24HF employee asking for my number and being flirted with by a front desk guy. Weird.
  • janet_pratt
    janet_pratt Posts: 747 Member
    I don't judge fat people for being fat. I belong to a small independent gym. Very musclehead. There is a girl there who was seriously overweight and I watched her coming day after day, sweating on the treadmill and lifting weights and felt bad because it didn't seem to be helping. Its been two years now and I can finally see she's lost quite a bit. She's still very heavy, but she's getting a handle on it. She's noticeably smaller. I always tell her she's looking good and doing a great job.

    The other person I can't help staring at is slender and works out in leggings and one of those bra things that annoy me. She's not skinny but slim. But whenever she moves a weight I can see the sculpted muscle in her body. It's fascinating and beautiful. When she's just standing there, her back looks just like a back, but let her move a weight and the muscle moves beautifully. She's not bulky at all, just very toned. She looks like an anatomy poster when she moves. Just gorgeous.

    I may judge people in other places...the obese woman in line in front of me at Scheels Sporting Goods buying CANDY! The morbidly obese woman motoring through a farmer's market in a power chair with no obvious signs of illness aside from just being to fat to walk, slurping on an ice cream cone that was so tall it was starting to topple. Yeah, I've been guilty of judging people like that, but never in the gym.
  • FitCoachJen
    FitCoachJen Posts: 139 Member
    I think "judge" has a negative connotation and my goal isn't to rank people.

    However...I'm detail oriented and nautally curious, so I notice everything. Muscles, clothes, shoes, form, exercises being performed (especially ones I've never seen or really hard ones).

    I also wonder what music you're listening to, what your goals are, how your day allows you to be at the gym at 2pm, stuff like that.

    I've noticed people staring, either because I'm a lady lifting heavy weights or because my tattoos are awesome. I'll stare at you for the same reason (sorry if it's creepy, I mentally cheer for people lifting really heavy weights).

    I hope everyone I encounter isn't judging me. If they are, I'm blissfully ignorant.
  • I find that I judge myself harder than I judge anyone else.
    When I do my washing and hang my clothes on the line, I look at them and think they are tiny but if I look at myself in the mirror I think I look huge and out of proportion. (mentaly distorted view)
    I always compare myself in size to others in the class and usually put myself in the "needs to be here most" category.
    I try not to mention large people to my kids because I dont want them to have body image issues.
    We can all name something we dont like about ourself, at least were at the gym !!!!
  • Lisa__Michelle
    Lisa__Michelle Posts: 845 Member
    I NEVER think badly of someone. If I see a VERY heavy man or women I always think "good for them! They are bettering their lives like me!" and then I don't give them a second glance. I tune out everyone in the gym and focus on myself!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I read so much on here that is along the lines of 'nobody gives anybody else's body a second glance', 'nobody notices what anybody else looks like', 'nobody will be thinking about you'.

    Are we just placating each other here or is it really, honestly true for most of you?

    As someone who is obsessed with and paranoid about my own body shape I can't possibly not notice other people's. When I walk into my gym classes the first thing I will do is mentally line everyone else up in order of weight and see where I think I fit into it. If I am one of the thinner ones I am happy at the front and confident to bounce around for the hour, feeling light and pleased with myself. If I am one of the heavier ones I skulk to the back and fear to jump too high in case people think I am wobbling and fat.

    This isn't unusual surely? We watch our own body shape ergo we watch other people's?

    You've pretty muc hit the nail on the head, sort of. I used to always compare myself to the other ladies in the gym "I want a booty like that" "she has great legs" "wow, she's really struggling, that's so awesome that she's here" it was always self depricating. Now the only thing I've got is "man I wish I still had a rack too (stopped nursing and lost my bewbs)." I never look poorly on another person at the gym. They're there for the same reason I am, to work and get more fit, how can I possibly be negative about that?
  • jellybaby84
    jellybaby84 Posts: 583 Member
    Thanks for the insights.

    'Judge' was perhaps the wrong word. I didn't mean it in a negative way as such. Just that, however big or small a person is, I wil most definitely notice and concentrate on every detail of their body shape. There is no way a person is 'invisible' to me at the gym because I am 'concentrating on myself''. No way. My own body AND everyone else's are under constant scrutiny the whole time I'm there. Sad.
  • Nope. I don't care.

    I pay more attention to what I'm doing, or just looking around in general. I notice what people are wearing like if they're wearing a sweatshirt i think they're burning up, and how long they're on their machines and try to push myself harder.

    I'm there to lose weight, and to get healthy, not judge people.
  • dckim
    dckim Posts: 311 Member
    Nothing wrong with some eye candy while working out. Some girls are wearing so little, they just scream your attention. :tongue:
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    No I don't judge people bodies there, I don't even notice. I'll notice if they have a really great body, but tbh it has to be pretty fantastic to get me to notice, and there's no reason for me to judge it still.
    I'm usually more focused on what they're doing how much they're lifting so I can be like wow I want to lift that!
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