Help in Graciously Turning Down Food

1953Judith
1953Judith Posts: 325 Member
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
i need some techniques in saying no thank you to food pushers this holiday season. The holiday season of tempting food events is starting. I feel like this week has been a time to practice enjoying and controlling food in the holiday season and see where I am weak.

Tonight I will be attending a themed dinner where everyone is pouring their heart and soul into their assigned food item. I am excited to see the people and excited to eat the food. I have already done a rough MyFitnessPal projection and know I will be eating (and enjoying) about 1000 calories. I have planned my day accordingly. However, I know that some of the people will be very forceful in encouraging me to take more than I want.

It would really help me tonight to have some mental scripts in turning down food assertively, but politely. Trust me, I know how to be assertive and rough with out any advice, but don't want that as the first weapon in my "turning down holiday food" arsenal.

Replies

  • 1953Judith
    1953Judith Posts: 325 Member
    I'm going to bump periodically because I really do need ideas.
  • kellyscomeback
    kellyscomeback Posts: 1,369 Member
    I'd probably start with a "Oh, it's looks delicious! If I'm done with my plate I'll come back here first." or "thanks, but I'm already full." or the line of allergies if they get really pushy. It's all about knowing when to walk away after a no thank you.

    Quick tip, fill up on healthy, high fiber foods 45 or so minutes before you go, less temptation when you aren't hungry.
  • HeatherR930
    HeatherR930 Posts: 214 Member
    Just be honest! Say I am trying to lose weight, & although it looks delicious, I have to pass! No one has ever gotten mad or anything...they just say good for you!
  • geekymom57
    geekymom57 Posts: 176 Member
    In my experience, the best way to deal with it is to say , "No thank you, it was delicious, but I'm full." And if you feel that you're going to have to concede to some incredibly persistent and relentless person, perhaps start with even smaller portions than you might otherwise take so you have a little extra "room" for a second or two.

    You can also keep some things on your plate even when you're finished to help thwart those who look at an empty plate as a sign that it needs to be filled. If it's a buffet, when you're done eating/grazing, get rid of your plate and keep one of your hands busy with a glass of water. It's not a lie when I tell people I can't eat and drink at the same time when I'm standing. :0)
  • deathstarclock
    deathstarclock Posts: 512 Member
    Thanks but no thanks.....

    ??????
  • sunnyrunner23
    sunnyrunner23 Posts: 182 Member
    BUMP!! always a problem and a challenge!
  • FairuzyAmanuzy
    FairuzyAmanuzy Posts: 221 Member
    I always say it looks delicious but no thankyou. Or tell them I just ate.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I don't understand the problem.

    The answer is no. It need not be more complicated.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    I do wish people would't say "Oh go on, just one won't hurt" when they're thrusting a huge 750 calorie dessert towards you.
    Actually, one WILL hurt, it will wipe out my defecit for about three days!

    I've given up telling people I'm eating more healthily and that I genuinely don't WANT to be tempted by that stuff, they seem to see it as a challenge.

    What I say now is simply "I'm full, maybe later" or "I don't fancy anything sweet right now"

    If you say "I don't fancy anything sweet", do try not to actually drool as you're lying to them... :bigsmile:
  • kellyscomeback
    kellyscomeback Posts: 1,369 Member
    I don't understand the problem.

    The answer is no. It need not be more complicated.
    Because people can get very very offended if their food is turned down. Sometimes a simple 'No Thank You." is not good enough.
  • squishysangel
    squishysangel Posts: 149 Member
    If you must you can always pill the "Oh I actually had some of that my first time around and it was delicious bt there are so many yummy things here that I want to make sure I get a little of each but thank you for offering seconds to me"...they don't feel shunned and you get to reduce the calorie intake
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Just say that whatever they are offering you gives you diarrhea. They will leave you alone after that.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    I don't understand the problem.

    The answer is no. It need not be more complicated.
    Because people can get very very offended if their food is turned down. Sometimes a simple 'No Thank You." is not good enough.
    The problem is, people feel rejected if you reject their food. They stupidly equate eating large quantities of unhealthy food with love. "Hey, eat loads too much of this crap, and it will make you ill and die earlier, that's how much I love you" *rolls eyes*

    The problem is that while you want to turn people down graciously, people all too often don't offer graciously.

    Too may Mrs Doyles in this world I'm afraid... :bigsmile: Father Ted --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w0ZyfkukUs
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I don't understand the problem.

    The answer is no. It need not be more complicated.
    Because people can get very very offended if their food is turned down. Sometimes a simple 'No Thank You." is not good enough.
    If people get offended, it's really not my problem.
  • geekymom57
    geekymom57 Posts: 176 Member
    I don't understand the problem.

    The answer is no. It need not be more complicated.
    Because people can get very very offended if their food is turned down. Sometimes a simple 'No Thank You." is not good enough.
    If people get offended, it's really not my problem.

    Agreed! At our advanced ages, that is, assuming we are all years away from the high school peer pressure "just have one more drink" thing, the possibility that someone might be offended when we politely turn down a proferred food item isn't our problem. Now if that person was your 90 old great-grandmother offering you a sample of a long-time family treat that's only made for the 21st birthday of the eldest son of the first daughter of the eldest son, "no thank you" doesn't apply as an acceptable response.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Just say that whatever they are offering you gives you diarrhea. They will leave you alone after that.

    Even saying whatever they offer you even LOOKS like diarrhea is a good way to get out of any dinner party. I tip my hat to you.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Now if that person was your 90 old great-grandmother offering you a sample of a long-time family treat that's only made for the 21st birthday of the eldest son of the first daughter of the eldest son, "no thank you" doesn't apply as an acceptable response.
    Sure it does...She does not get offended. I think it runs in the family. She would shrug and move on. If a "no, thank you" offended anyone, that person needs to get over him/herself. :flowerforyou:
  • 1953Judith
    1953Judith Posts: 325 Member
    I want to clarify that 90% of the time no thank you works just fine. In the 10% of the cases where it doesn't work and I am in group setting, the gentle assertive or redirecting suggestionsmany of you have provided will be very helpful. I will take care of me in these settings, but want to do it without drama for me or others when possible.
  • CMmrsfloyd
    CMmrsfloyd Posts: 2,380 Member
    I would probably go with something along the lines of 'gosh I've already eaten so much delicious food - can I get a serving packed up to take home with me so I can enjoy it later when I'm not so stuffed?'. That way you're not rejecting it (or them) and still get to control your intake. Whether you actually eat it later or not is up to you.
  • geekymom57
    geekymom57 Posts: 176 Member
    Now if that person was your 90 old great-grandmother offering you a sample of a long-time family treat that's only made for the 21st birthday of the eldest son of the first daughter of the eldest son, "no thank you" doesn't apply as an acceptable response.
    Sure it does...She does not get offended. I think it runs in the family. She would shrug and move on. If a "no, thank you" offended anyone, that person needs to get over him/herself. :flowerforyou:
    That would NOT be the 90 year-old great-grandmother I know. She's on my husband's side so I can safely say the tendency to take offense is not my own family's trait.:laugh:
  • caroln3
    caroln3 Posts: 217
    I would probably go with something along the lines of 'gosh I've already eaten so much delicious food - can I get a serving packed up to take home with me so I can enjoy it later when I'm not so stuffed?'. That way you're not rejecting it (or them) and still get to control your intake. Whether you actually eat it later or not is up to you.

    great suggestion
  • grassette
    grassette Posts: 976 Member
    You don't have to clean your plate. Ask for a half portion or smaller. Like a sliver. Then push it around on your plate so it doesn't look untouched. The main thing here is to participate (on your own terms), so they won't feel like they are leaving you out.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,533 Member
    What you're really asking is how to tell yourself, "No."



    They will not hold you down and force you to eat it, I promise.

    They are not "pushing" food. They are being polite, and want you to try their dish and compliment them.
  • 1953Judith
    1953Judith Posts: 325 Member
    Thanks for the suggestions. I actually tried one of them last night and it was quite effective. As I suspected having a script and a plan in advance was very helpful to me in specific situations where people are encouraging me to eat more regardless of the underlying reason for my needing such a script in the first place.

    I am following two simultaneous roads on my journey to fitness -- 1) dealing with underlying issues and 2) trying concrete new approaches to tackling bad habits and roadblocks . The concrete suggestions (even the diarrhea one, though it went unused) were quite helpful as I turned down foisted food.
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