Help me settle a debate with my fiance please!

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Every once in a while I will mention to my fiance how sore I am from my latest workout with my trainer. Each time he says that I'm just out of shape because I shouldn't still be sore after working out with him for the last three months. So I tell him that I wouldn't be sore if we continued to do the same workouts but because he is constantly pushing me we consistenly increase the weight/intensity of my workouts. Which is why I'm getting results, because I am challenging my muscles. He goes on to tell me that he increases reps and never weight because he just wants to be cut because more reps equals more definition. I tell him that if he's doing 20 plus reps with the same weight then he needs to increase the weight and do less reps but he says thats only he you want to increase bulk. Says if he can get 20 resps in he will go until he can get 50-100. And lastly, he says heavy lifting is to make bigger muscles which he does not want. Can you guys help me settle this?
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Replies

  • Adina81
    Adina81 Posts: 252 Member
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    Isn't there like a golden rule for men?

    'They are always wrong'

    Go with that. Call it a night :drinker:
  • aa1440
    aa1440 Posts: 956 Member
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    You are right but perhaps you should let your trainer talk to your fiance.
  • Misiaxcore
    Misiaxcore Posts: 659 Member
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    Isn't there like a golden rule for men?

    'They are always wrong'

    Go with that. Call it a night :drinker:


    ^this :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • betsy720
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    LoL...I can't help you because I don't know much about that but good luck! This post made me laugh a little so thats good :) Keep up the hard work. Whether you hurt or not...seems like you are accomplishing your goals so keep it up!
  • TrishJimenez
    TrishJimenez Posts: 561 Member
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    I think what your fiance is trying to do is use weight lifting as cardio. But he still has to increase the weight or pretty soon his fiance will be able to lift more then him LOL
  • JoseMedina21
    JoseMedina21 Posts: 186 Member
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    lean muscles are formed from lighter weight and more reps (burning/toning mode)
    bulkier muscles are formed with heavier weight and less reps (increasing strength mode)

    I know for men it works this way, it could be different for women though.
  • ahinescapron
    ahinescapron Posts: 351 Member
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    Are you right: yes. Will he admit it: not likely :)
  • katherines2230
    katherines2230 Posts: 276 Member
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    OMG. then he went on to tell me that he doesn't have to change a single thing in his diet to get cut and that if he wants to change anything else he would just workout that area (his stomach). I quit (facepalm).
  • Amuggsy78
    Amuggsy78 Posts: 33 Member
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    I think in a way you are both a little right. If you do not want to increase muscle size, just want to be more defined you should stick to lighter weights and do more reps. if you constantly increase the weight to the point that 8 or so reps makes it so difficult to lift you can't continue, that rips the muscle and makes you sore. As you heal you body heals the micro tears in the muscle by building more muscle on top which is how you gain the muscle mass.

    What your trainer is doing is called muscle confusion. if you stick to the same routine over and over even though you are getting a good workout your results will start to decline. You will still be going in the right direction it just takes longer and longer to get there. You muscles get used to the motion and are no longer challenged to continue the forward progress.
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    Your man is all kinds of confused. XD
  • ritajean3
    ritajean3 Posts: 306 Member
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    lean muscles are formed from lighter weight and more reps (burning/toning mode)
    bulkier muscles are formed with heavier weight and less reps (increasing strength mode)

    I know for men it works this way, it could be different for women though.

    The difference (as far as my research leads me to believe. Is that men get bulky and ladies because of lack of testosterone do not bulk as much


    my advice would be to let him do what he wants and do what you do. If he is wrong he will come to the realization and fix it himself
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,695 Member
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    Every once in a while I will mention to my fiance how sore I am from my latest workout with my trainer. Each time he says that I'm just out of shape because I shouldn't still be sore after working out with him for the last three months. So I tell him that I wouldn't be sore if we continued to do the same workouts but because he is constantly pushing me we consistenly increase the weight/intensity of my workouts. Which is why I'm getting results, because I am challenging my muscles. He goes on to tell me that he increases reps and never weight because he just wants to be cut because more reps equals more definition. I tell him that if he's doing 20 plus reps with the same weight then he needs to increase the weight and do less reps but he says thats only he you want to increase bulk. Says if he can get 20 resps in he will go until he can get 50-100. And lastly, he says heavy lifting is to make bigger muscles which he does not want. Can you guys help me settle this?
    Flat out, he's WRONG. Higher reps have nothing to do with getting cut up. That builds muscle endurance not definition. If he wants to get more cut, then reducing body fat through nutrition and raising your resting metabolic rate will do it.
    Bodybuilders who compete want very little fat for a competition. So they diet hard and clean and lift heavy as they can with lower reps to retain what muscle they have ALREADY developed.
    To increase bulk you have to be in calorie surplus so if he isn't eating more, then it's very unlikely he'll gain any muscle.

    You can still be sore even if you lift and stay in condition if muscle is challenged differently. You can jog everyday, but if you did full sprints for 30 minutes, it's not uncommon to have major leg soreness because sprinting hits the muscle much differently.
  • 0112317
    0112317 Posts: 17
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    Reps absolutely do not equal toning. Lowering body fat % does. Lift heavy,do cardio, eat at caloric deficit. He's doing cardio with his arms, as someone above said.
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
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    i would just shake my head, laugh, and drop it. i have been working out with zumba for 7 months, and im still sore sometimes afterwards:) good luck.
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    lean muscles are formed from lighter weight and more reps (burning/toning mode)
    bulkier muscles are formed with heavier weight and less reps (increasing strength mode)

    I know for men it works this way, it could be different for women though.

    Low weight + many reps = burning/toning is a myth.

    You won't "bulk" with high weight and fewer reps.

    I am not trying to call you out. It's just that long-standing fitness myths are being perpetuated by people who repeat things like this when it's not even true. :)
  • armacd
    armacd Posts: 95
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    Bulk comes from fewer reps and heavier weights (8-10), Lean muscle comes from more reps (12-15) but going to 50 or 100.... he's definitly not gonna get the results he wants... 15 should still be a struggle.
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
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    I say do what your trainer is telling you to do - that's what he/she went to school for. I personally agree with you and not your fiance, but if he thinks he's right, then no matter what you say, he's still going to think he's right, so like someone else said, let him do his thing and you do your thing and just agree to disagree.
  • judkinsjenny
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    Heavier weights less reps = bigger muscles and bulk. Less weight=more reps = definition. thats correct. However, you should still be sore because you are constantly being challenged. hopefully your trainer knows not to add a whole of weight for you since you're a girl and bulk is gross on girls. hes probly adding very small amount which is fine, strength training for you right now is a good thing. But don't let him do Olympic lifting for you or somthing lol. you dont want that. I'm sure hes doing circut training or some such thing. so you're both right. I know this cuz i lifted weights for years and did olympic lifting and held some records. i was gross lol.
  • curvy_ca_mama
    curvy_ca_mama Posts: 110 Member
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    lean muscles are formed from lighter weight and more reps (burning/toning mode)
    bulkier muscles are formed with heavier weight and less reps (increasing strength mode)

    I know for men it works this way, it could be different for women though.

    I prefer Average Joes. :)
  • cbirdso
    cbirdso Posts: 465 Member
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    You are right, he is wrong. (I have practice with this since I married! lol) There are lots of articles out there that explain in detail why this is so. I think I was just reading Big Lew's blog here on MFP that explained it well. Print out an article - there are many - and have him read it.