Dating in 2011 Seriously
Replies
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I guess I am just old fashioned or maybe because I grew up in a small town in Illinois. I can't believe how these guys act according to everything I have been reading.
I have always been pretty shy and wouldn't even think of presuming things like sex on a first date. Guys should be thrilled to get a hug or kiss. lol The age of chivalry is apparently dead. I always feel out of touch because I am such a romantic. Bring a girl a little token of affection on the first date (a flower, small stuffed animal, book of poetry, etc.). Doesn't have to be anything over the top. Put a smile on her face at the beginning of the date. Don't think of what you are going to get out of it. Even if all you get is a few hours of friendship and dinner/movie, etc., it was more fun than sitting at home alone. lol
I think because one of my brothers has been married 3 times and my father was married 5 times that it makes me a lot more interested in finding the right one, not finding anyone. I know way too many people whor are in relationships or got married beacuse they are so co-dependent and cannot bear life without someone.
I hope I find the right woman someday and can grow old together, but if it doesn't happen I'll be fine. I want a partner, an equal, a best friend AND a lover. Best of luck to you all!! Hope all your dreams come true. Everyone deserves to be truly happy and not settle.
Troy
Troy you rock, I always bring flowers or wine when I go on a date...Granted that was 15yrs ago, but I cant wait to bring some flowers or wine to pretty ladies.0 -
I have had some issues with dating this year too. I've had two guys just stop talking to me completely, one of them stopped talking to me after saying he wanted to commit to me. I really liked that guy a lot and after he disappeared on me, I was heartbroken. I had known him for a while, and thought he and I would work out, but, it didn't work out. I also had guys say that I was too fat for them to date.
I'm at the point where I just don't want to date right now. I'm dealing with a lot in my life as it is (having a tough time finding a job, dealing with personal issues, trying to lose weight, etc). It would be unfair to bring someone into my life right now.0 -
it is not just the ladies that have problems dating now a days... y'all may or may not believe me, but i am a nice guy, i open doors for whoever i can whenever i can, i say yes ma'am and no ma'am, yes sir and no sir, and so on and so on. i take pride in my parents raising me a southern gentleman. i would love to pick up my date wherever she wished, pay for whatever and not expect anything at the end of the date. in fact i would probably be floored if something was offered.... but no one wants to take the time to find that out about me. normally the ladies will just take one look at me and since i don't fit into the "hot guy" look that most people are looking for i never hear from them again. i know most of what i am saying is coming from online dating (or attempting to)(i just cant seem to get up the courage to talk to women face to face, i know the worst thing they can say is no. well not quite... in the back of my head i can hear them saying get lost creep right before they kick me in the boys, but i am just too shy to walk up to someone and just strike up a conversation most of the time. hey it took my best friend months of asking me to go to zumba with her before i actually went and i love it, but still feel like a creep when i am the only guy in the class. ) but still. just because i don't have a 6 pack yet, or because i have a long way to go in my weight loss journey does not mean that i cant make up the lack of looks with my personality. OK i guess that is probably way too much, but i'm gonna go ahead and shut up now.0
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I can't drive, so when I go for dates I always take public transport and so do most of the people I date. (No one drives in Central London unless you're extremely wealthy!) So I don't understand the problem with meeting there, I would rather that than the guy picking me up. I absolutely hate it when they insist on walking me home when I'm trying to get rid of them.
Also, I guess I do the texting or facebooking instead of ringing as well. That's normal for me too. I guess I'm from a different generation, aside from the meaningless sex bit... I agree with you there.0 -
PS, my personal pet peeve was a guy pulling up and honking the horn. Uh-uh. Nope. If you wanna go out with me bad enough, you can get your *kitten* outta the car and come knock! Good luck!
if a guy EVER whistles, snaps, or honks to get my attention... so help me that will be the last time he ever sees me.0 -
Agreed! What a d!ck...PS, my personal pet peeve was a guy pulling up and honking the horn. Uh-uh. Nope. If you wanna go out with me bad enough, you can get your *kitten* outta the car and come knock! Good luck!
if a guy EVER whistles, snaps, or honks to get my attention... so help me that will be the last time he ever sees me.0 -
Dating isn't any harder now than it's ever been. Heck, in some ways it's better. They used to not even date back in the day, it was arranged marriages. Try that and see how it goes. Just sounds to me like the original poster is just dating jerks.0
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hm sorry but i'm sensing some double standards here. while i dont disagree with the points you raise, although i actually prefer to meet someone rather than have him pick me up because if the date's going badly i want to be able to exit on my own terms, but you're demanding a man has manners and chivalry and respects you, etc, but you're perfectly fine with lying to cancel a date. seems to me that you shouldn't have accepted the date in the first place if he was so obvious about his intentions. And if he wasn't so obvious, the polite thing to do would have been to meet him as you had agreed to do and see how the evening developed. manners and chivalry go both ways these days.
^^^ HELLO ^^^ This, all the way.
You need to learn respect for others as well as yourself. It's usually pretty easy to pick out the guys that just want nookie.
Hell, I am very upfront about it, and I have no problems getting dates. Just remember... the guys that want it on the first date usually aren't the guys that want to stick around.
If I am serious about a girl, I never go for it on the first date. Unfortunately, there is very few girls out there worth being serious about. Just like you say there is very few guys, the reverse is true.
I will eventually find the one I want to be with. Until then, I sure as hell am gonna have fun while I look, because I am not going to settle for a girl that doesn't measure up.
Call me a prick if you like, but thats the plain old truth.0 -
I so need to become single again already!0
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Try looking at the circumstances under which you meet folks that ask you out on dates. Changing that might improve things for you.0
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I so need to become single again already!
*Wink wink*
Oh really?
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Being a more recently single gal for the first time in 5 years, I can say that it is just as difficult now as it has been, or will be.
I don't expect the guy to open my door or pull out my chair. I am an independent women so that bothers me if he does it all the time. Same goes for always picking me up. I like things to be equal.
The biggest "problem" I have with dating is that everyone has their own definition of what it means to date. As long as you are on the same page with the person then the basics like being monogamous, or hooking up occasionally shouldn't be an issue.0 -
Chivalry isn't dead, it's just more selective. Dudes used to put these pure hearted, young women, often virgings, on a pedistal and try to win their favor by pounding another man off of a horse with a lance and risking his well being if not life to do so.
I'd still do it, joust, fight, anything, for the right lady. But the key word is "lady". Just don't except me to mount up for some local girl with trucker mouth, bad attitude and who has had oral sex with half the neighborhood. I'm not jousting for that.0 -
Chivalry isn't dead, it's just more selective. Dudes used to put these pure hearted, young women, often virgings, on a pedistal and try to win their favor by pounding another man off of a horse with a lance and risking his well being if not life to do so.
I'd still do it, joust, fight, anything, for the right lady. But the key word is "lady". Just don't except me to mount up for some local girl with trucker mouth, bad attitude and who has had oral sex with half the neighborhood. I'm not jousting for that.
Lol, I feel like you're the guy that would walk up and slap someone in the face with their glove...filled with bricks0 -
I don't think dating is so bad...problem is people (and I mean Men AND Women) play too many damn games....here's a thought...try HONESTY!
I'm single right now and have been primarily single the past 3 1/2 years. I don't mind it really. If I'm asked out on a date and he's a decent guy, I go. If I think he's creepy I say no, don't think so. If he asks why I tell him b/c I don't want to :laugh: I've made the point perfectly clear that I'm not LOOKING for a relationship and dear god a stigma single moms seem to get is that they're looking for a husband...well NO. I can take care of myself just fine thank you. If a man comes along that it works between us and we fit than GREAT but I'm not gonna go out looking for it.
I don't expect to picked up and usually prefer to drive separate. I don't expect a guy to pay for dinner, but usually my dates do and I thank them and offer to pick up the tip or I'll buy them a beer at the bar or something. I can open my own doors, but if you want to, that's great...if you don't....well I have these things called hands & arms
They work just fine. Yes, I expect to be treated with respect...I will also respect him. Its a 2 way street here.
I get so annoyed with WOMEN who expect to be treated like princesses....get over yourself. Personally, I know I'm a damn Queen...ask my 4y.o. :laugh: but you can bet your *kitten* that I would treat a man like a king.0 -
As far as the sex thing...well, no I have sex on my terms and when I want to. I'm not gonna sleep with a guy unless we're actually together and that point is made IF it comes up. I need to have sex, I have batteries to take care of those needs0
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it is not just the ladies that have problems dating now a days... y'all may or may not believe me, but i am a nice guy, i open doors for whoever i can whenever i can, i say yes ma'am and no ma'am, yes sir and no sir, and so on and so on. i take pride in my parents raising me a southern gentleman. i would love to pick up my date wherever she wished, pay for whatever and not expect anything at the end of the date. in fact i would probably be floored if something was offered.... but no one wants to take the time to find that out about me. normally the ladies will just take one look at me and since i don't fit into the "hot guy" look that most people are looking for i never hear from them again. i know most of what i am saying is coming from online dating (or attempting to)(i just cant seem to get up the courage to talk to women face to face, i know the worst thing they can say is no. well not quite... in the back of my head i can hear them saying get lost creep right before they kick me in the boys, but i am just too shy to walk up to someone and just strike up a conversation most of the time. hey it took my best friend months of asking me to go to zumba with her before i actually went and i love it, but still feel like a creep when i am the only guy in the class. ) but still. just because i don't have a 6 pack yet, or because i have a long way to go in my weight loss journey does not mean that i cant make up the lack of looks with my personality. OK i guess that is probably way too much, but i'm gonna go ahead and shut up now.
Trust me man, its not just you. I'm the same way on dates. Women just don't seem to appreciate it anymore.
And its not like I'm an *kitten* in other ways. I've become close friends with a few people (yes, females) on this site, who I talk to or otherwise communicate with every day...outside MFP. I'm sure they would vouch for the fact that I'm not some sort of jerk or out to use anyone. I'm just a relatively funny, honest, loyal, genuine guy...who lives his life, and takes care of his kids.
Yet, no dice...lol.0 -
Man, I hear you brother! You keep being who you are and don't ever compromise your upbringing. Once you act out of character, she will expect that as the norm and you will wear yourself out trying to keep up the front. :grumble:it is not just the ladies that have problems dating now a days... y'all may or may not believe me, but i am a nice guy, i open doors for whoever i can whenever i can, i say yes ma'am and no ma'am, yes sir and no sir, and so on and so on. i take pride in my parents raising me a southern gentleman. i would love to pick up my date wherever she wished, pay for whatever and not expect anything at the end of the date. in fact i would probably be floored if something was offered.... but no one wants to take the time to find that out about me. normally the ladies will just take one look at me and since i don't fit into the "hot guy" look that most people are looking for i never hear from them again. i know most of what i am saying is coming from online dating (or attempting to)(i just cant seem to get up the courage to talk to women face to face, i know the worst thing they can say is no. well not quite... in the back of my head i can hear them saying get lost creep right before they kick me in the boys, but i am just too shy to walk up to someone and just strike up a conversation most of the time. hey it took my best friend months of asking me to go to zumba with her before i actually went and i love it, but still feel like a creep when i am the only guy in the class. ) but still. just because i don't have a 6 pack yet, or because i have a long way to go in my weight loss journey does not mean that i cant make up the lack of looks with my personality. OK i guess that is probably way too much, but i'm gonna go ahead and shut up now.
Also, your looks really don't matter. Look at all the heavier actors and pop stars... they have a huge following! Want to know how to become INSTANTLY attractive to the opposite sex and have marriage proposals from women around the world? Win the lottery and collect the check with the media present. Publicize your name and location. That's all it takes man.
Also, there's a lot of self-talk going on that isn't true (you already know that). You have something to offer that nobody else in this entire world has: YOU! Don't under-value "you" and your worth brother. Remember the old cliche, beauty is only skin deep. I try being friendly with other attractive ladies and get the "are YOU talking to ME?" look or just get ignored. I personally don't give a rats *kitten* any more. We are not little puppets trying to amuse you and the cutest puppet wins. Screw that! :grumble: You (and I) are much better off single than busting our balls trying to be funny/witty/charming to women that won't give us the time of day.
Friend req is on the way...0 -
Man, I hear you brother! You keep being who you are and don't ever compromise your upbringing. Once you act out of character, she will expect that as the norm and you will wear yourself out trying to keep up the front. :grumble:it is not just the ladies that have problems dating now a days... y'all may or may not believe me, but i am a nice guy, i open doors for whoever i can whenever i can, i say yes ma'am and no ma'am, yes sir and no sir, and so on and so on. i take pride in my parents raising me a southern gentleman. i would love to pick up my date wherever she wished, pay for whatever and not expect anything at the end of the date. in fact i would probably be floored if something was offered.... but no one wants to take the time to find that out about me. normally the ladies will just take one look at me and since i don't fit into the "hot guy" look that most people are looking for i never hear from them again. i know most of what i am saying is coming from online dating (or attempting to)(i just cant seem to get up the courage to talk to women face to face, i know the worst thing they can say is no. well not quite... in the back of my head i can hear them saying get lost creep right before they kick me in the boys, but i am just too shy to walk up to someone and just strike up a conversation most of the time. hey it took my best friend months of asking me to go to zumba with her before i actually went and i love it, but still feel like a creep when i am the only guy in the class. ) but still. just because i don't have a 6 pack yet, or because i have a long way to go in my weight loss journey does not mean that i cant make up the lack of looks with my personality. OK i guess that is probably way too much, but i'm gonna go ahead and shut up now.
Also, your looks really don't matter. Look at all the heavier actors and pop stars... they have a huge following! Want to know how to become INSTANTLY attractive to the opposite sex and have marriage proposals from women around the world? Win the lottery and collect the check with the media present. Publicize your name and location. That's all it takes man.
Also, there's a lot of self-talk going on that isn't true (you already know that). You have something to offer that nobody else in this entire world has: YOU! Don't under-value "you" and your worth brother. Remember the old cliche, beauty is only skin deep. I try being friendly with other attractive ladies and get the "are YOU talking to ME?" look or just get ignored. I personally don't give a rats *kitten* any more. We are not little puppets trying to amuse you and the cutest puppet wins. Screw that! :grumble: You (and I) are much better off single than busting our balls trying to be funny/witty/charming to women that won't give us the time of day.
Friend req is on the way...
And this is why BuffTexan rocks.0 -
this thread made me laugh..:flowerforyou: i needed a laugh0
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this thread made me laugh..:flowerforyou: i needed a laugh
Good for you girl...you deserved one....seriously.0 -
Dating isn't easy, but I truly believe that God and the Universe has my back. I haven't been on a date for months now and I'm cool with that. I have guys come up to me, but they are not the type of guys I want to be with (No job, durag, baggy clothes <--- get the picture). I don't lie to them. I am nice and just tell them I'm not interested. Honesty is the best policy. The people I know that are in loving and lasting relationships met when both people were comfortable in their life. I know I'm going to meet an amazing guy one day.
I think you're thinking too much into things. Honestly, being friends with a bunch of guys, most of them ask girls to a bar because they think that's where both people can relax. Yes some guys just want to get laid, but if you're not into that why not just say that. If a guy asked me to a bar, I would tell them that I didn't want to go to a bar because I'm allergic to alcohol <--- that's the truth. Be honest with yourself and the other person.
I know a lot of gentlemans, unfortunately they are taken, but I know there are still some out there.
Lets all stop putting people into corners and boxes. There are *kitten* on both side out there, but that doesn't mean everyone is like that. Honestly, be happy that the person showed you their true colors. Would you really want to be with someone like that? Be Thankful.0
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