Tunnel of Darkness......from my blog

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sportygal
sportygal Posts: 221 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm trying to stay out of a bad place right now, but it's tough. I felt SO good on Friday...enjoy some time with a friend, having a beer and healthy dinner out. But I paid for it Saturday. I have been really down and exhausted, which doesn't make me ever want to drink again if that's the case!

I have been pushing and pushing myself, and having bumps in the road, knee issues, back issues, potentially broken foot issues...I've see a lot the last 2 months. But today broke the camel's back. Since Tuesday, I was training and had a an excruciating pain from my shoulder to the back of my head. I'm pushing...trying to get through...then all week it's coming and going. It's wearing my down! I'm frustrated and hate that my body is crapping out. I called my trainer and set up a session, just so I wouldn't stop working out. Of course...the pain comes back during the session and I'm trying to hold it together! At least, I was distracted most of the time from moving on to the next exercise.

I hate feeling this way...so negative, when Friday I was so positive and ready to set new goals for training. Then I don't feel tough enough, which aggravates me and frustrates me even more. It's such a vicious cycle. I know I can get through this, but I just feel so alone. My ultimate goal was to start feeling better, and lately I just feel horrible and its getting to me.

I'll just keep walking through the dark tunnel, hoping I'll see that light soon. But I know if I don't keep walking, I'll never see the light. For now, I just feel like I'm crawling, with someone kicking me every inch of the way!

My trainer talks about peaks and valleys....well I feel like I went from Mt. Everest to Death Valley in one swoop! :(

Oh well tomorrow is a new day! :)

Replies

  • sportygal
    sportygal Posts: 221 Member
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    I'm trying to stay out of a bad place right now, but it's tough. I felt SO good on Friday...enjoy some time with a friend, having a beer and healthy dinner out. But I paid for it Saturday. I have been really down and exhausted, which doesn't make me ever want to drink again if that's the case!

    I have been pushing and pushing myself, and having bumps in the road, knee issues, back issues, potentially broken foot issues...I've see a lot the last 2 months. But today broke the camel's back. Since Tuesday, I was training and had a an excruciating pain from my shoulder to the back of my head. I'm pushing...trying to get through...then all week it's coming and going. It's wearing my down! I'm frustrated and hate that my body is crapping out. I called my trainer and set up a session, just so I wouldn't stop working out. Of course...the pain comes back during the session and I'm trying to hold it together! At least, I was distracted most of the time from moving on to the next exercise.

    I hate feeling this way...so negative, when Friday I was so positive and ready to set new goals for training. Then I don't feel tough enough, which aggravates me and frustrates me even more. It's such a vicious cycle. I know I can get through this, but I just feel so alone. My ultimate goal was to start feeling better, and lately I just feel horrible and its getting to me.

    I'll just keep walking through the dark tunnel, hoping I'll see that light soon. But I know if I don't keep walking, I'll never see the light. For now, I just feel like I'm crawling, with someone kicking me every inch of the way!

    My trainer talks about peaks and valleys....well I feel like I went from Mt. Everest to Death Valley in one swoop! :(

    Oh well tomorrow is a new day! :)
  • adopt4
    adopt4 Posts: 970 Member
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    You're doing GREAT! Working thru the pain (just don't hurt yourself!). You've already done so much - keep it up!
  • sportygal
    sportygal Posts: 221 Member
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    Thanks and congrats on your weight loss! :flowerforyou: I'm just tough on myself and then my other part of my brain is screaming for the tough side to back off! LOL:mad:
    Just another learning experience! :bigsmile:
  • knlamb10
    knlamb10 Posts: 33
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    Keep it up.. training can make you very sore.. make sure you are eating or having a protein shake after your workouts- carbs are needed to help repair muscle after workouts.. so fuel your body with proper nutrition so you can work through it. If the pain is that bad.. you may want to have it checked out.. it could be more than muscle fatigue. Burning is one thing.. but severe pains that leave you HURTING is not normal for several days in a row. If it really is the from traning you are over doing it... after long it will become muscle strain... gradually make changes... sometimes its easier on your body... than after a while you can pump it up a notch.

    I have had a rough week too... me and my husband are both out of work.. and the financial strain leaves us at each others throats. Working out has become more than a need to get in shape.. but a stress releiver that I so need right now. Its like picking up a cigarette... addicting.... but makes me feel good.
  • sportygal
    sportygal Posts: 221 Member
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    The big reason I'm frustrated is that it isn't muscle soreness. I have nagging knees that get pain from an inflamed IT band, and my shoulder, neck and back due to a car accident. I go to therapy and things were progressing, but this latest pain blindsided me. I hate my body letting me down, cuz when I get stressed or angry, working out makes me feel better.
    Sorry to hear about your tough week. I hope you and your hubby can come together more than be at each other, but its understandable.
    I guess if obstacles and challenges were easy, then what we be the point!? We'll all get through this....its a tough time out in the world, and by us trying to be healthy, we are going to improve our lives!
  • mfpme
    mfpme Posts: 1,106 Member
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    Sorry you're going thru tunnel of darkness. All of us at certain times in our lives have been/going thru that. Tks for sharing your pain. We cannot identify, we cannot relate since your pain/experience is unique to you. We can empathize.

    What about yoga, tai chi as such soft movements giving your body/mind refreshment? Best to you. Take good care.:heart: May you see the light before you know it. :flowerforyou:
  • sportygal
    sportygal Posts: 221 Member
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    Thanks for your support.....I'm really trying to be positive with the tunnel of darkness....since if I keep trudging through, I'll see the light eventually. Of course when it is dark, you feel alone and disoriented...very much to my life right now.
    I'm not one to relax very well, so it is hard. I do stretch after a workout to relax and sorta meditate. I should go find my Tai Chi DVD buried somewhere!
    :)
    I'll get through this....I'm more angry at myself for feeling this way. For some reason, picking me up off the ground, just seems harder this time.

    "It's not about getting knocked down, it's about getting back up." V. Lombardi

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