What would you say if.....

Options
Malani2010
Malani2010 Posts: 245
in Motivation and Support
Some one told you that no matter what you do you will NEVER be thin and have a bikini or beach body???

In case you were wondering.....Yes....Someone said this to me recently and it was NOT the hubby but it was someone in my family. I was really hurt when this person said this and they didn't really have any room to talk. Thank goodness it was through IM on Facebook and not over the phone because I was speechless and didn't know what to say.
«1

Replies

  • godblessourhome
    godblessourhome Posts: 3,892 Member
    Options
    sorry someone said that to you. while it was hurtful, it is not TRUTH and i would just let it go.
  • dlyeates
    dlyeates Posts: 875 Member
    Options
    In my head I would be reminding myself of one of my favorite (but naughty sayings)......I may be fat but you're a B@&$H and I can diet.

    I would reply that it doesn't matter what they think or even if it's true or not, you are on this journey to become a happier healthier you and that will outweigh any swimsuit you may ever wear.

    I know I'll never get back in a bikini only because I won't subject people to my stretch marks!!!
  • CapeCodLover
    CapeCodLover Posts: 23 Member
    Options
    Most of our mothers taught us "if you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all" ... should you family member have said this to you - probably not. But maybe they were trying to manage your expectations so you don't get disappointed. No matter how much weight/inches I lose, my body will not be appropriate for a bikini - I will never be skinny. I'm okay with that and maybe they were trying to help you get there too. If they said it to be a ***** ... then F*** THEM. I would be clear that they know my goal is to lose weight, be healthy and be confident in my body and if at some point I choose to wear a bikini because I think I can than so be it.
  • jlowensby
    jlowensby Posts: 142
    Options
    I probably wouldn't say anything...to them for a very long time.

    That was rude and uncalled for. Are they trying to make changes in their life??

    Makes me mad and I don't even know you....how hurtful!

    You can do this, don't let close-minded people shut you down though!
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    Options
    I would say, "Watch me."
  • virginiejaubin
    virginiejaubin Posts: 497 Member
    Options
    Dont say anything, when you'll reach your goal and have that gorgeous beach body, put a tiny bikini on and go show the person right in the face what NEVER looks like!
  • poopoomonkey1978
    poopoomonkey1978 Posts: 108 Member
    Options
    people have told me similar things. My sister told me that she can't see getting down to the size I want to be because the last time I was that size I was in grade 7. She then went on to tell me that I am big boned and she could easily get back to her grade 8 size 3. She is nearing a size 20 now, and changing her habits. I was a 20 and am now a 14-16. I want to get down to a size 7-9 smaller if I can, but I have been told I won't be able to. You know what though it doesn't matter if I don't get down to the size or not this about being happy for me and healthy for my family
  • jwerman
    jwerman Posts: 176
    Options
    First of all reread your Phillipians verse...and prove them wrong!! You have lost 50 lbs so far,perhaps they are jealous?? Pray for strength and DONT give up!! :)
  • afwg1979
    afwg1979 Posts: 170 Member
    Options
    Use those spiteful words to fuel your determination. That's what I'm doing. (A co-worker told me that there was no way I'm going to be able to beat my prediabetic diagnosis.) I'm going to show him he's wrong!
  • cprys8942
    cprys8942 Posts: 123 Member
    Options
    This is what I would do. After they made that horrible remark you look them straight in the eyes and say, "I WILL have the body I want." And just keep telling yourself that every day or even 10 times a day if you need to. Honestly, it works. I stopped hoping for a beach body a couple months ago, and starting thinking about how great i'm going to look when i DO have that body. it's no longer a possiblity, it's going to happen. Maybe not next month or a year from now, but it will. Don't let anyone tell you different.
  • Sherbog
    Sherbog Posts: 1,072 Member
    Options
    I would ask them "why would you say something so hurtful to me." See what she has to say. Then I would proceed to spend time with positive people that I feel good around.
  • Blabob
    Blabob Posts: 15 Member
    Options
    The world is full of fools. You seem to be related to one. It's their problem, let it go.
  • Frankenbarbie01
    Frankenbarbie01 Posts: 432 Member
    Options
    Pity them...
    Although you may be overweight FOR NOW, they have a lifetime of closed-minded-ness (if thats a word) and I dont see that changing in the near future!! How sad for them that they have to attempt to be little you to feel better about themselves.
  • CindiBryce
    CindiBryce Posts: 438
    Options
    Dismiss the comment and continue pursuing your goal. There will always be condescending people who will discourage you, or try to derail/sabotage your plan. Ignore them.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    Options
    Some one told you that no matter what you do you will NEVER be thin and have a bikini or beach body???

    In case you were wondering.....Yes....Someone said this to me recently and it was NOT the hubby but it was someone in my family. I was really hurt when this person said this and they didn't really have any room to talk. Thank goodness it was through IM on Facebook and not over the phone because I was speechless and didn't know what to say.

    I would say "darn straight, I WON'T be thin. I WILL be healthy and I WILL have a bikini AND beach body. I've got this, and it doesn't matter if you believe in me or not, because my pals on MFP and more importantly I believe in ME."

    I am so sorry someone said that to you. Remember, it is THEIR jealousy and THEIR insecurities, not YOURS. You do this, but remember to do it for YOU. Rock it!
  • 1234terri
    1234terri Posts: 217 Member
    Options
    a terrible and hurtful thing to say. It even sounds like they may be jealous of your movement into health & weight loss...hang in there and only listen to positive folks here!
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    Options
    There are more important things in life than being skinny and your health is at the top of that list. The benefit to your body is worth every ounce of effort that you are putting into this - even if you don't end up looking like a supermodel. The fact is, healthy = sexy + beautiful regardless of your body shape.
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
    Options
    I would ask them "why would you say something so hurtful to me." See what she has to say. Then I would proceed to spend time with positive people that I feel good around.
    I agree. We all say insanely stupid things from time to time (and I think the IM the OP got counts!). Maybe it would help for her to know her words hurt. She may not have meant it the way it sounded and that would give her a way to save face and avoid bad feelings. And it may make her consider her wording and the impact of them in the future.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Options
    Reply with, "Do you realize that you'll never not be an *kitten*?"

    Sorry someone said that to you. If you can avoid them in the future, do so. Negativity like that is never good to have in your life.
  • kandrews24
    kandrews24 Posts: 610 Member
    Options
    Wow, that is flabbergasting! It really takes some unbelievable nerve to say something like that to someone else (especially someone that you are related to). Frankly, I would not respond (if I thought I could get away with never talking to them again) OR if I knew I had to interface with them going forward . . . I would quite clearly give them a piece of my mind. I would not swear or be sarcastic, but I would call a spade a spade BECAUSE if I have to get along with that person and interface with them for years to come, that BETTER NEVER EVER HAPPEN AGAIN and they need to know who they are dealing with.

    So calling a spade a spade would go something like:

    "Wow, how rude, uninformed, and stunning of you to say that to me. I am hurt and frankly shocked. I can only assume this is a typo or that you were having a very very bad day and decided to take it out on me. Regardless, I don't know if you believe what you said, but I sure don't. Maybe you feel that way about yourself or you are a huge pessimist, but for the record I follow these guidelines (i) don't say anything unless you can say something nice, (ii) treat others the way you want to be treated, and (iii) folks can obtain anything they really want if they really put their mind to it."

    Hopefully, the person will apologize and you can move on.

    Regardless of what they said, keep up the good work, and believe in yourself~! You've lost 50 lbs. UNBELIEVABLE LADY!

Categories