Romance Ideas?

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shawnsasylum
shawnsasylum Posts: 30
in Chit-Chat
I'm married and my wife just doesn't seem to be responding to my efforts. She says thank you but doesn't really get terribly excited anymore. Over the last week, I have made her a video (pictures of us, sync to a romantic song she likes) and posted it on her FB page, I've bought her a dozen roses and even tried sext'ing a little with her. We are both very busy with work, school and of course kids. Ideas? Thoughts? By the way, I don't have a lot of money. Just trying to keep the spice alive.
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  • juliesummers
    juliesummers Posts: 738 Member
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    bump.
  • neenaj33
    neenaj33 Posts: 347 Member
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    get her nails and toes done, then take her out for a movie and dinner
  • shawnsasylum
    shawnsasylum Posts: 30
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    I got her nails done for her Friday. I frequently take her out to dinner. I'm just not sure anymore.
  • coloradocami
    coloradocami Posts: 368 Member
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    Check out the book "The Love Dare" ... Word of warning, it's faith based so it that's not your cup of tea...sorry
  • luvmycandies
    luvmycandies Posts: 489 Member
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    Can u just sit her down and talk to her? There could be something else wrong or bothering her that has nothing to do with you.
  • sal0118
    sal0118 Posts: 84
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    Date nights regularly seem to work well. We try to keep it going monthly. We are guilty of having our kids in too many activities. So it does sometimes is every other month. I do think the time alone with dinner and a movie is good. I like that you have been putting a lot of effort in it. I would hope that she appreciates it.
  • chefswife67
    chefswife67 Posts: 145
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    Damn ! I need some romance... When you get some ideas could you send them to my hubby .. Lol
  • PBJunkie
    PBJunkie Posts: 652
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    Prepare her favorite meal

    sisandlunch.jpg

    Then run a bath or jacuzzi like we did years a go and have your favorite champagne, strawberries and choc mousse ready.

    RuanFotos_003.jpg

    Now you can start your charm by giving her a good foot massage and talk about the good old days, reminding her about your love for her...take it slow and have a good chat, I'm sure she will respond well to this.
  • coloradocami
    coloradocami Posts: 368 Member
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    Can u just sit her down and talk to her? There could be something else wrong or bothering her that has nothing to do with you.

    This is good advise
  • shawnsasylum
    shawnsasylum Posts: 30
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    To be honest, maybe I am looking for someone to reciprocate the effort. I just don't understand. I have tried sitting down with her. Don't know. I am stumped.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Can u just sit her down and talk to her? There could be something else wrong or bothering her that has nothing to do with you.

    This.

    If there is something bothering her the more you do to try will only make it worse.
    She expects you to know what is wrong,that is it seems how a ladys mind works (sorry,flame away but is true) so while you think you are treating her special she sees you as trying to avoid the issue.
  • luvmycandies
    luvmycandies Posts: 489 Member
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    To be honest, maybe I am looking for someone to reciprocate the effort. I just don't understand. I have tried sitting down with her. Don't know. I am stumped.

    what does she say when u try to talk to her?
  • JustEllieK
    JustEllieK Posts: 423 Member
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    Why not just go somewhere together? Spending time is always the best gift!! And it can be pretty much free! Go to the beach and sit on the sand!
  • shawnsasylum
    shawnsasylum Posts: 30
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    She doesn't say much. She says she is appreciative. But I'm not sure. I think she is worried about finances and doesn't know how to do anything without money. However, she doesn't want anything to do with our financial account.
  • luvmycandies
    luvmycandies Posts: 489 Member
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    Communication is the key to every relationship. If you think this is a source of stress for her, try doing something to ease her fears such as ... come up saving plan for Christmas for example or how to reduce grocery bill...etc. Something you 2 can do together to relive the problem.
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
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    Do the dishes and really clean the house. No, really clean it, like she likes it cleaned.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,985 Member
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    simple is best. do something to take some of the pressure off her. by far, my favorite gesture ever from my husband, was when he took the kids to daycare one morning, so i could run before work without feeling rushed. then, when i got in my car to go to work, there was 1 gerbera daisy with a note that said "i love you" sitting on my passenger seat. gerbera daisies were out wedding flowers. that's all it took for me to know he truly appreciated and loved me.

    or, if your gestures aren't doing the trick, something else might be going on. for sure sit down and chat with her. ask what she wants/needs from you, then tell her what you want.need form her.

    Good luck!:flowerforyou:
  • raevynn
    raevynn Posts: 666 Member
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    Do the dishes and really clean the house. No, really clean it, like she likes it cleaned.
    This is always good.

    Listening to her WITHOUT TRYING TO SOLVE ANYTHING is better. Hard for guys, I know. Any "problem" she brings up just excites your male problem-solving instincts... but, no. Just listen. Just listen to HER.

    How about touching? Hugging? are you turning every touch moment into something "more"? That can be a bit tiring to a woman, too. Try hand holding. Hugging. Just touch her because you like how her skin feels, not because you are looking for reciprocity. Let her know that you just need the comfort of touch too, without anything else.

    A relationship is a process. You have to be committed to the long haul, realizing that sometimes one partner needs some rest from demands. Giving support is important.
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
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    Can u just sit her down and talk to her? There could be something else wrong or bothering her that has nothing to do with you.

    This.

    If there is something bothering her the more you do to try will only make it worse.
    She expects you to know what is wrong,that is it seems how a ladys mind works (sorry,flame away but is true) so while you think you are treating her special she sees you as trying to avoid the issue.
    Yeppers...this is true.I'm trying to be better at this, but I've only been married for 3 years so I have a lot of work left to do in the communication dept.

    Hey, how old are you both? Not trying to be nosey, but maybe her drive has dropped a bit? It happens to us as we age. I'd talk to her like someone already said and just see how she's feeling.
  • shawnsasylum
    shawnsasylum Posts: 30
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    I'm 36 and she is 33.

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