Romance Ideas?
shawnsasylum
Posts: 30
I'm married and my wife just doesn't seem to be responding to my efforts. She says thank you but doesn't really get terribly excited anymore. Over the last week, I have made her a video (pictures of us, sync to a romantic song she likes) and posted it on her FB page, I've bought her a dozen roses and even tried sext'ing a little with her. We are both very busy with work, school and of course kids. Ideas? Thoughts? By the way, I don't have a lot of money. Just trying to keep the spice alive.
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Replies
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bump.0
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get her nails and toes done, then take her out for a movie and dinner0
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I got her nails done for her Friday. I frequently take her out to dinner. I'm just not sure anymore.0
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Check out the book "The Love Dare" ... Word of warning, it's faith based so it that's not your cup of tea...sorry0
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Can u just sit her down and talk to her? There could be something else wrong or bothering her that has nothing to do with you.0
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Date nights regularly seem to work well. We try to keep it going monthly. We are guilty of having our kids in too many activities. So it does sometimes is every other month. I do think the time alone with dinner and a movie is good. I like that you have been putting a lot of effort in it. I would hope that she appreciates it.0
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Damn ! I need some romance... When you get some ideas could you send them to my hubby .. Lol0
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Prepare her favorite meal
Then run a bath or jacuzzi like we did years a go and have your favorite champagne, strawberries and choc mousse ready.
Now you can start your charm by giving her a good foot massage and talk about the good old days, reminding her about your love for her...take it slow and have a good chat, I'm sure she will respond well to this.0 -
Can u just sit her down and talk to her? There could be something else wrong or bothering her that has nothing to do with you.
This is good advise0 -
To be honest, maybe I am looking for someone to reciprocate the effort. I just don't understand. I have tried sitting down with her. Don't know. I am stumped.0
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Can u just sit her down and talk to her? There could be something else wrong or bothering her that has nothing to do with you.
This.
If there is something bothering her the more you do to try will only make it worse.
She expects you to know what is wrong,that is it seems how a ladys mind works (sorry,flame away but is true) so while you think you are treating her special she sees you as trying to avoid the issue.0 -
To be honest, maybe I am looking for someone to reciprocate the effort. I just don't understand. I have tried sitting down with her. Don't know. I am stumped.
what does she say when u try to talk to her?0 -
Why not just go somewhere together? Spending time is always the best gift!! And it can be pretty much free! Go to the beach and sit on the sand!0
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She doesn't say much. She says she is appreciative. But I'm not sure. I think she is worried about finances and doesn't know how to do anything without money. However, she doesn't want anything to do with our financial account.0
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Communication is the key to every relationship. If you think this is a source of stress for her, try doing something to ease her fears such as ... come up saving plan for Christmas for example or how to reduce grocery bill...etc. Something you 2 can do together to relive the problem.0
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Do the dishes and really clean the house. No, really clean it, like she likes it cleaned.0
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simple is best. do something to take some of the pressure off her. by far, my favorite gesture ever from my husband, was when he took the kids to daycare one morning, so i could run before work without feeling rushed. then, when i got in my car to go to work, there was 1 gerbera daisy with a note that said "i love you" sitting on my passenger seat. gerbera daisies were out wedding flowers. that's all it took for me to know he truly appreciated and loved me.
or, if your gestures aren't doing the trick, something else might be going on. for sure sit down and chat with her. ask what she wants/needs from you, then tell her what you want.need form her.
Good luck!:flowerforyou:0 -
This is always good.Do the dishes and really clean the house. No, really clean it, like she likes it cleaned.
Listening to her WITHOUT TRYING TO SOLVE ANYTHING is better. Hard for guys, I know. Any "problem" she brings up just excites your male problem-solving instincts... but, no. Just listen. Just listen to HER.
How about touching? Hugging? are you turning every touch moment into something "more"? That can be a bit tiring to a woman, too. Try hand holding. Hugging. Just touch her because you like how her skin feels, not because you are looking for reciprocity. Let her know that you just need the comfort of touch too, without anything else.
A relationship is a process. You have to be committed to the long haul, realizing that sometimes one partner needs some rest from demands. Giving support is important.0 -
Yeppers...this is true.I'm trying to be better at this, but I've only been married for 3 years so I have a lot of work left to do in the communication dept.Can u just sit her down and talk to her? There could be something else wrong or bothering her that has nothing to do with you.
This.
If there is something bothering her the more you do to try will only make it worse.
She expects you to know what is wrong,that is it seems how a ladys mind works (sorry,flame away but is true) so while you think you are treating her special she sees you as trying to avoid the issue.
Hey, how old are you both? Not trying to be nosey, but maybe her drive has dropped a bit? It happens to us as we age. I'd talk to her like someone already said and just see how she's feeling.0 -
I'm 36 and she is 33.0
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I have sat down with her. She swears nothing else is going on. Just how she is I suppose.0
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I have sat down with her. She swears nothing else is going on. Just how she is I suppose.
Yeah maybe. But a lot of times when something is bugging me and my boyfriend asks i say nothing is wrong. Simply cause i dont wanna talk about it. Could just be me though.0 -
A great book is "The Five Love Languages". You may not be speaking her main love language.
Either that or she is just exhausted, stressed and/or worried.0 -
A great book is "The Five Love Languages". You may not be speaking her main love language.
Either that or she is just exhausted, stressed and/or worried.0 -
I like the hugs and hand holding idea!0
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If you're already putting forth the effort with romantic gestures, doing more or different ones probably won't do the trick. You've got to talk to her and figure out what's going on in her head. Like Carl (above poster) said, sometimes women just want men to read our minds (though not always). Since I've very rarely met a mind reader, you're going to need to talk to her. She sounds like a very lucky lady to have someone who is so caring. :flowerforyou:0
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Put the kids in boarding school.
Just kiddin'... kind of.
When I was devoid of romantic feelings, it had a lot to do with the fact that I was perpetually resentful toward my partner. He had all kinds of free time while I was stuck making dinner because he couldn't cook. I did much of the cleaning so I wouldn't have to wait days for him to do it. (I'm not big on asking people twice). I took care of the kids most of the time while he could sit and watch guys driving around in a circle repeatedly for hours on end. I felt like a single mother WITH him in the same room. So maybe your situation isn't just like mine, but a lot of the things that upset a woman's ability to be romantic have nothing to do with romance at all. So maybe there's something you're missing in that respect.0 -
you are doing things right, maybe ask her why she doesn't respond like she use to?
PS-wish my husband did things like this, even if it was only once or twice a year. he only does it on holidays that require him to, lol0 -
Complete guess here, but if you're losing weight and she's not, she might feel really self conscious. She may not feel she's sexy, and so yes she appreciates what you're doing, but it's not really helping her to feel good about herself, because she doesn't believe you.
No matter how many people tell you, you look great, or I want you, if the little voice in your head is screaming that they're lying, you won't believe them. You'll smile nod and move on, still feeling crappy about yourself.
If this is the case, then I'm hoping someone else has the answers, cause nothing's worked for me so far.0 -
Do the dishes and really clean the house. No, really clean it, like she likes it cleaned.
This is a smart, smart man. Also? Sometimes the most romantic thing you can do is give her some time to herself. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If she is an introvert (like me) and NEVER gets a moment alone, she never has time to recharge. I don't mean, send her off and have her come back to twice the mess she left either!
Either way, best of luck to you.0
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