Opinions yes?
JustEllieK
Posts: 423 Member
Okay i am just curious. Its about relationships. I would really like your honest opinions.
So say your boyfriend does something every so often that you honestly do not like. He doesn't do it that much so its not that big of deal. But it really bothers you.
Would you let that affect the out come of the relationship?
So say your boyfriend does something every so often that you honestly do not like. He doesn't do it that much so its not that big of deal. But it really bothers you.
Would you let that affect the out come of the relationship?
0
Replies
-
HECK NO!
We ALL have faults...If you are looking for MR Perfect .. He doesn't exist. It's all about balance, and tolerance. If he keeps you in more smiles than tears .. than he's a keeper!0 -
It depends on what he is doing that bothers you...0
-
That depends on the particular quirk you're talking about. If it's something that can be discussed publicly, then it's probably okay to discuss it with him. Now, if he's eating his toenail clippings from a collection that he saves in a bag for a snack, then maybe that might be a cause for concern.0
-
I dont wanna say exactly what it is but i will give a similar example. And i dont mean he leaves the cap off the toothpaste every so often. Not something stupid like that.
Say he goes out drinking maybe once or twice a year. And you really dont like it. Then what?0 -
If it's legal, you should likely let it go unless it bothers you to the point of not liking him at all when he does it. If it's illegal, well, then you may have to reevaluate.0
-
That depends on the particular quirk you're talking about. If it's something that can be discussed publicly, then it's probably okay to discuss it with him. Now, if he's eating his toenail clippings from a collection that he saves in a bag for a snack, then maybe that might be a cause for concern.
HAHAHA!0 -
It depends on what he is doing that bothers you...
Absolutely! Also, it's difficult to answer this question because on the one hand you have said it really bothers you but on the other you've said it's not a big deal. I'm sure you didn't mean to do that but obviously how big of a deal it is to you or how much it bothers you are going to be the determining factor. You should just give us details hahaha!0 -
Relationships are about compromise. It depends on what it is & whether or not it's a deal breaker. If it's just a minor annoyance, I'd say let it go. I'm sure you do things that irk him too. We all do. It's about the bigger picture & whether or not that peron truly makes you happy & whether or not they make you a better person. Good luck!0
-
Depends completely on what it is. It could get better or it could get worse. You have to decide for yourself it is something you could live with if this is the person you chose to spend your life with. It must truly be bothering you if you are posting this question, so don't seek advice from people, you know yourself and what you can put up with. Best of luck.0
-
Now, if he's eating his toenail clippings from a collection that he saves in a bag for a snack, then maybe that might be a cause for concern.
Ewwwwwww!0 -
once or twice a year, not a big deal... unless he gets drunk and does super asinine things then maybe0
-
If hes doing something that you can learn to ACCEPT then leave him be.
however in the long run of relationships.... if he does something that irks you and you just ignore it but never learn to tolerate it... you will eventually be unable to ignore it any longer and it will become a problem.0 -
Depends completely on what it is. It could get better or it could get worse. You have to decide for yourself it is something you could live with if this is the person you chose to spend your life with. It must truly be bothering you if you are posting this question, so don't seek advice from people, you know yourself and what you can put up with. Best of luck.
Hmmm good advice. I just dont wanna be ridiculous to let it bother me that much if its nothing that big. I mean it IS a big thing to me. Guess i am hoping for someone similar to me that agrees so i dont feel so lame about it.0 -
I dont wanna say exactly what it is but i will give a similar example. And i dont mean he leaves the cap off the toothpaste every so often. Not something stupid like that.
Say he goes out drinking maybe once or twice a year. And you really dont like it. Then what?
Once or twice a year? That's not even something to worry about.0 -
Does he care about your oppinion or not? Men often excuse themselves over and over with the," I didnt think you'd mind ,' crap. They should believe you when you say you do mind. I went through this for years with my husband. We have a good marriage now, so its doable, but darn annoying when They decide; FOR YOU that you wont care, or mind, or like something! Especially after you have already told him you dont like or want something.0
-
Does he care about your oppinion or not? Men often excuse themselves over and over with the," I didnt think you'd mind ,' crap. They should believe you when you say you do mind. I went through this for years with my husband. We have a good marriage now, so its doable, but darn annoying when They decide; FOR YOU that you wont care, or mind, or like something!
Well he always asks if i wanna talk about it. But i kinda dont wanna talk about it. I mean i told him "you are gonna do it anyways". What is the point of talking then?
And i know once or twice a year isn't that big of a thing. But i mean....if it really bugs you! Someone tell me i am ridiculous?0 -
I dont wanna say exactly what it is but i will give a similar example. And i dont mean he leaves the cap off the toothpaste every so often. Not something stupid like that.
Say he goes out drinking maybe once or twice a year. And you really dont like it. Then what?
So he's occasionally visiting the strip club with his friends. It's okay, happens all the time. Let it go, he's coming home to you!
0 -
I dont wanna say exactly what it is but i will give a similar example. And i dont mean he leaves the cap off the toothpaste every so often. Not something stupid like that.
Say he goes out drinking maybe once or twice a year. And you really dont like it. Then what?
So he's occasionally visiting the strip club with his friends. It's okay, happens all the time. Let it go, he's coming home to you!
LMFAO i certainly hope not!!! i would be hella pissed:D0 -
Don't think yourself lame, this shows a level of maturity and growth. You are looking at the big picture, not what is before you at this very moment. Good girll!0
-
Don't think yourself lame, this shows a level of maturity and growth. You are looking at the big picture, not what is before you at this very moment. Good girll!
Thanks!!! I do try:)0 -
When you met him, was he already partying once or twice a year? If so, you could still bring it up to him in a way that lets him know you're concerned. If he JUST started after you guys got together, then that's an issue. If he's your age, he may or may not mature fast enough to catch on. But still, it's all up to your tolerance level. Letting it irk you quietly might manifest into an outburst of repressed anger later on. It's probably best to discuss it sooner than later.0
-
When you met him, was he already partying once or twice a year? If so, you could still bring it up to him in a way that lets him know you're concerned. If he JUST started after you guys got together, then that's an issue. If he's your age, he may or may not mature fast enough to catch on. But still, it's all up to your tolerance level. Letting it irk you quietly might manifest into an outburst of repressed anger later on. It's probably best to discuss it sooner than later.
He did it before he met me. And i didn't know about it right away. I couldn't even sleep last night cuz it bugged the hell outta me. Age isn't it though. I just feel talking about it isn't going to make a difference. If someone is gonna do something what is talking about how I feel about it going to do?0 -
It seems to me that it is only you that has a problem with it so, really, you have to decide if you can still put up with it if he is still partaking in ten years from now. He obviously has no problem with it so he will continue to enjoy it. It just comes down to whether you can deal with him enjoying it year after year.0
-
When you met him, was he already partying once or twice a year? If so, you could still bring it up to him in a way that lets him know you're concerned. If he JUST started after you guys got together, then that's an issue. If he's your age, he may or may not mature fast enough to catch on. But still, it's all up to your tolerance level. Letting it irk you quietly might manifest into an outburst of repressed anger later on. It's probably best to discuss it sooner than later.
He did it before he met me. And i didn't know about it right away. I couldn't even sleep last night cuz it bugged the hell outta me. Age isn't it though. I just feel talking about it isn't going to make a difference. If someone is gonna do something what is talking about how I feel about it going to do?
Well, you did say that he asked you wanted to talk about it, which kind of implies that he's aware that you're bothered by it. But maybe because you don't want to, it could be interpreted as you don't care. Talking about it gives the other person the option to actually understand how you feel and make the decision to stop on their own.
From personal experience, I'll let you know that if I were to ask my gf if she wants to talk about it, it's because I'm genuinely concerned that it might bother her. It's at that point that maybe I should re-evaluate my habits and stop. A reaction of "you're just going to do what you want anyway" will generate a response for me to start partying more just to do it out of spite and later on as an escape from the situation. If it gets brought up later, I'll throw it back and say, "I tried to talk to you about it and you didn't want to, so I didn't stop. I'm not a mind reader. If you wanted me to stop, you should have said so." But, again, that's just me, personally. He may or may not be the same.0 -
Okay i am just curious. Its about relationships. I would really like your honest opinions.
So say your boyfriend does something every so often that you honestly do not like. He doesn't do it that much so its not that big of deal. But it really bothers you.
Would you let that affect the out come of the relationship?
Explain to him that it will send him blind !0 -
Okay i am just curious. Its about relationships. I would really like your honest opinions.
So say your boyfriend does something every so often that you honestly do not like. He doesn't do it that much so its not that big of deal. But it really bothers you.
Would you let that affect the out come of the relationship?
Explain to him that it will send him blind !
Lmao!!!0 -
If it is keeping you up at night, then it is a big deal IMO. I agree that relationships are give and take and that you shoudl choose your battle. If this bothers you this much, though, this might be a battle you need to choose. Is it possible that he doesn't understand how much this bothers you? If it is this important to you, he needs to know. Stuffing your feelings about it will only lead to more resentment later on. I would at least try to have a serious discussion with him about it and really communicate how much it bothers you. If he refuses to change, then you have to decide if you can live with that long term.0
-
When you met him, was he already partying once or twice a year? If so, you could still bring it up to him in a way that lets him know you're concerned. If he JUST started after you guys got together, then that's an issue. If he's your age, he may or may not mature fast enough to catch on. But still, it's all up to your tolerance level. Letting it irk you quietly might manifest into an outburst of repressed anger later on. It's probably best to discuss it sooner than later.
He did it before he met me. And i didn't know about it right away. I couldn't even sleep last night cuz it bugged the hell outta me. Age isn't it though. I just feel talking about it isn't going to make a difference. If someone is gonna do something what is talking about how I feel about it going to do?
Well, you did say that he asked you wanted to talk about it, which kind of implies that he's aware that you're bothered by it. But maybe because you don't want to, it could be interpreted as you don't care. Talking about it gives the other person the option to actually understand how you feel and make the decision to stop on their own.
From personal experience, I'll let you know that if I were to ask my gf if she wants to talk about it, it's because I'm genuinely concerned that it might bother her. It's at that point that maybe I should re-evaluate my habits and stop. A reaction of "you're just going to do what you want anyway" will generate a response for me to start partying more just to do it out of spite and later on as an escape from the situation. If it gets brought up later, I'll throw it back and say, "I tried to talk to you about it and you didn't want to, so I didn't stop. I'm not a mind reader. If you wanted me to stop, you should have said so." But, again, that's just me, personally. He may or may not be the same.
Hmmm yeah okay. That makes a LOT of sense. I guess i am just used to the rude Cali people. "Hey how are you" yet they dont wait for you to answer cuz they walk by. I tend to think that about people. Okay i guess i maybe will talk to him about it later in the week. I would hate to cause a bigger problem:(0 -
If it is keeping you up at night, then it is a big deal IMO. I agree that relationships are give and take and that you shoudl choose your battle. If this bothers you this much, though, this might be a battle you need to choose. Is it possible that he doesn't understand how much this bothers you? If it is this important to you, he needs to know. Stuffing your feelings about it will only lead to more resentment later on. I would at least try to have a serious discussion with him about it and really communicate how much it bothers you. If he refuses to change, then you have to decide if you can live with that long term.
Good idea! I guess i kinda knew that all along but needed to hear it from someone else! Thanks:flowerforyou:0 -
When you met him, was he already partying once or twice a year? If so, you could still bring it up to him in a way that lets him know you're concerned. If he JUST started after you guys got together, then that's an issue. If he's your age, he may or may not mature fast enough to catch on. But still, it's all up to your tolerance level. Letting it irk you quietly might manifest into an outburst of repressed anger later on. It's probably best to discuss it sooner than later.
He did it before he met me. And i didn't know about it right away. I couldn't even sleep last night cuz it bugged the hell outta me. Age isn't it though. I just feel talking about it isn't going to make a difference. If someone is gonna do something what is talking about how I feel about it going to do?
Well, you did say that he asked you wanted to talk about it, which kind of implies that he's aware that you're bothered by it. But maybe because you don't want to, it could be interpreted as you don't care. Talking about it gives the other person the option to actually understand how you feel and make the decision to stop on their own.
From personal experience, I'll let you know that if I were to ask my gf if she wants to talk about it, it's because I'm genuinely concerned that it might bother her. It's at that point that maybe I should re-evaluate my habits and stop. A reaction of "you're just going to do what you want anyway" will generate a response for me to start partying more just to do it out of spite and later on as an escape from the situation. If it gets brought up later, I'll throw it back and say, "I tried to talk to you about it and you didn't want to, so I didn't stop. I'm not a mind reader. If you wanted me to stop, you should have said so." But, again, that's just me, personally. He may or may not be the same.
Hmmm yeah okay. That makes a LOT of sense. I guess i am just used to the rude Cali people. "Hey how are you" yet they dont wait for you to answer cuz they walk by. I tend to think that about people. Okay i guess i maybe will talk to him about it later in the week. I would hate to cause a bigger problem:(
Yeah, it's rare to find reasonable Cali folk, but for the most part, you got with him for reasons other than typical southern CA steez, right? Just bring it up in a calm manner. You'll be aight.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions