those that like to sabotage others

MJ7910
MJ7910 Posts: 1,280 Member
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
do you ever get weird comments from others when they hear you have lost weight? just wondered... some of my favorites:
someone said "well at least i get to eat what i want. you could too, but you think you need to lose weight"
"you look ok but you better stop or you'll get too skinny" this was from an older guy. i told him there was no danger of that and he need not worry. his response "as long as your man has something to grab onto"... wow!!. LOL. :)

then there are those who like to plan lunches at places you can't find much on the menu when they know you're dieting.
or they'll make fun of you b/c you get a salad instead of some giant sandwich.
they'll order things for the whole office after you tell them you don't want to order from the very place they order from.
or they'll tell you your goal weight is too low and you'll never do it...
they'll say they lost weight once too and put it all back on so why try... etc.

what are some you all have gotten?
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Replies

  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    I have never heard any of those things because I am not friends with as*holes.
  • betzeross
    betzeross Posts: 161 Member
    My husband tells me "you look good to me".
    It's nice and all but I want to look to ME!
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,493 Member
    "Now that you're hot are you gonna leave your husband?" from my brother in law and some friends. (inspired me to write a blog on here) That one pisses me off to no end
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    I think you are reading WAY too into things.
  • asanchez0814
    asanchez0814 Posts: 3 Member
    I haven't gotten any comments like that, but just think of those as your trials that you face on a daily basis. When I go grocery shopping I have to shop for me and my husband because he isn't on a diet. He doesn't complain because he's very supportive. You just have to keep your goal in mind, and ignore those people with the rude comments. The only person that can really help you with how much weight you lose and it be okay is your doctor. :) Hope this was helpful.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    Them: "You look great how'd you do it?"

    Me: "Diet and exercise."

    Them: "oh, I don't want to do that."

    :huh:
  • lambeas
    lambeas Posts: 229 Member
    Yes, now that I am smaller, if I decide to get a treat, cookie or something with my afternoon coffee, co-workers have said " oh, I thought you were on a diet?" or "oh, your allowed to eat that".. like I need to justify myself to them.
  • TDGee
    TDGee Posts: 2,209 Member
    I got the "At least I get to eat anything I wan... what are you doinaaaaaacckkkkkkk!!!!!!!"
    Once.



    Until there is a cure.
  • DaniellePF
    DaniellePF Posts: 308 Member
    :noway: WTF....sounds like a dirty old man with a big mouth and some jealous haters in your office! I don't mean to sound harsh--this kind of stuff just really pisses me off. I have had people "warn" me not to "get all obsessed" again (I had an eating disorder that I have not fallen back into in 10 years at this point). It's like, I am a grown woman and a mother; I'm eating healthy and working out. Maybe somebody should warn you about the artery clogging crap you are eating on a regular basis.
  • beccafreak
    beccafreak Posts: 45
    When I get to work I am usually always eating something because it's right after a workout and my boss is always giving me crap about how don't I know eating is what got me in trouble in the first place. I also have people who are also working out, that try to downplay what I am doing. When we discuss working out and how far I have come they like to butt in and tell me how it's not that big of a deal but what they have done however...It's such a pain in the neck. I shrug things off in the end and just keep trucking away. I'm the one who in the end will look and feel killer and they will be....Them. LoL
  • Wynterbourne
    Wynterbourne Posts: 2,225 Member
    I had a married co-worker comment to me, "Don't think I don't notice you wasting away. I don't like that."

    Dude, seriously. WTF? I can't count multiple reasons what wasn't okay to say.
  • julyalverson
    julyalverson Posts: 1
    I've heard most of what you're saying and it's mostly from folks that aren't very healthy. I realized it truly comes from their own insecurities so I just blow it off. You get healthy for you and no one else. Let those other people be responsible for themselves and you be responsible for yourself.
  • shickam062604
    shickam062604 Posts: 133 Member
    I have gotten comments like that from one coworker, but I think it is because she is jealous that I am doing something about my weight and she isn't.
  • janet_pratt
    janet_pratt Posts: 747 Member
    Them: "You look great how'd you do it?"

    Me: "Diet and exercise."

    Them: "oh, I don't want to do that."

    :huh:

    I get that one a lot! What do they think I did? Got it vacumed out?
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I never get comments such as these. I think people know better than to ask me such drivel...
  • DaniellePF
    DaniellePF Posts: 308 Member
    When I get to work I am usually always eating something because it's right after a workout and my boss is always giving me crap about how don't I know eating is what got me in trouble in the first place.

    What a D*ck!
  • korygilliam
    korygilliam Posts: 594 Member
    Wow, sounds like you need to find a new group of people to be around! (I can't see your pictures here, but I am hoping you aren't trying to be at the extreme bottom or below your recommended weight)

    But, I do agree, be careful on being overly sensitive to statements/actions. If they are 'friends', then tell them that you don't appreciate that statement and that you would appreciate their support on your journey. If they aren't a friend, ignore them.
  • cppeace
    cppeace Posts: 764 Member
    lol I understand where your coming from from folks I know through hobbies and work.. I said to someone oh I need to lose 70lb they looked at me like I was nuts and said isn't that a bit much?
    When they buy take out food at rpg I politely say no thanks I have a banana- again I'm looked at lke mad.. Once the hostess lady was sweet and bought me grilled chicken even though I said no, I ate before I came and am watching my calories... I had to eat a little I mean she bought it for me grrr.. lol Simply keep in mind you change for you and no one else.. you look like you want as long as it's healthy :) ignore comments and helpful hints and barbs and jabs :)
    It will be ok :)
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    I have never heard any of those things because I am not friends with as*holes.

    Yes you are. You're friends with me!

    Though, as an *kitten* elitist, I would never make such comments. I'm better than that.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Them: "You look great how'd you do it?"

    Me: "Diet and exercise."

    Them: "oh, I don't want to do that."
    I think this exchange is the distilled, most truthiness form of all of these type of comments that get reported here.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    I have never heard any of those things because I am not friends with as*holes.

    Yes you are. You're friends with me!

    Though, as an *kitten* elitist, I would never make such comments. I'm better than that.
    *kitten*
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I'm rather gluttonous in social situations, so no one ever accuses me of an eating disorder or not being able to eat what I want.

    Somehow "you're not eating enough!" doesn't carry much weight (pun intended) when I'm going for my second serving of cake. I also try not to talk calories or weight loss unless someone asks what I'm doing. Except for, you know... blogging about it and posting my links to facebook. :blushing:

    But I think sometimes, it's not so much sabotage as people being defensive of their own habits.
  • pattynava
    pattynava Posts: 331
    I took a class in college that said people around you are like crabs.... meaning if you put crabs in a tank you never have to put a lid on it, because they will not be able to climb out, instead of working together they pull each other down, and climb over them, and the others pull that one down, so none of them ever get out of the tank. As you lose weight people around you tend to sabotage you, without meaning too....because they don't want to be "left out" they want you to stay in their "comfort zone" so to speak...Do what you have to, to make you happy...this is your journey... :flowerforyou:
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    I have never heard any of those things because I am not friends with as*holes.

    Yes you are. You're friends with me!

    Though, as an *kitten* elitist, I would never make such comments. I'm better than that.
    *kitten*

    :happy:
  • coqui2010
    coqui2010 Posts: 25 Member
    Yes this happens to me too. At work my co-worker brings me things that are not healthy and I feel bad saying no but she knows I'm watching what I eat. She'll say things like "I know you are trying to watch what you eat, but" I don't fully understand why people like to be this way. I really find it frustrating; I don't want to have a constant conversation about why I've decided to be healthy this is a personal choice. It's also obviously hard to make better choices so when you hear this from people you see everyday it is very exhausting. I would just continue to do what you are doing and if it persists then talk to them about it; they may not realize they are making it harder on you.
  • AlSalzman
    AlSalzman Posts: 296 Member
    Most of my weight loss came from kickboxing... 225lbs down to about 190 in about 5 or 6mos. Interestingly enough, I gained a bunch of the usual positive martial arts side-effects as well (confidence, respectful behavior, etc...).

    So anyway, the Mayor of the city that I used to work for manages to ignore my positive changes and tells a bunch of other City employees that he thinks my hobby (aka, my weigh-loss plan, my fitness plan, my positive self-image plan...) is unprofessional.

    Awesome.

    So yeah, there are saboteurs out there. Sometimes they're even people that are supposed to be leaders and have strong character who just can't accept that your plan to better yourself doesn't match up with their little pre-defined notion of how things should be. Don't ignore what they have to say unless it's someone who is supposed to be a real part of your life... if a spouse or partner or someone who should be supporting you is making these comments, it's time to re-evaluate that relationship and maybe have a talk.

    BTW, Mr. Mayor's company went bankrupt and he had an affair with a woman on the Park Commission. Real "professional." Thank goodness he wasn't doing anything really unprofessional like kickboxing to lose weight.
  • laylina
    laylina Posts: 50
    I'm lucky that i carry most of my extra weight evenly, so people are always asking me. why are you on a diet? you don't look like you need to lose weight, you shouldn't do this to yourself... Do what? get healthy? listen to my Doctor? its just frustrating because im only 5'2 so people don't see it as much i just look "a little chubby" well i have 32% body fat and most is the scary killer around your organs kind. my BMI is in the over weight range!! So NO im not trying to look like a size 0 model :noway: I Dont have a body image disorder. Im doing this to get healthy and my doctor told me to!! maybe on my next check in with him i should ask for a note :laugh: wow that kinda dragged on lol sorry... so anyways....anyone else have this issue?
  • STARSHINE1975
    STARSHINE1975 Posts: 168 Member
    I have a grandma that doesn't think I need to lose weight and continuously pushes food I shouldn't eat or more food than I should eat. All the time telling me that I need to put meat on my bones.

    I have a coworker that constantly buys me "treats" she knows I like saying "You walked today, so you can afford it". I walked to lose weight, not to eat sugar.
  • solpwr
    solpwr Posts: 1,039 Member
    Envy.
  • steffiejoe
    steffiejoe Posts: 313 Member
    One of my coworkers commented that he knows Im doing more then walking to lose weight. Guess he thinks there is some majic pill or something. The thing is he knows I have been walking M-F . I hate when people try to discredit my hard work.

    He also tried to figure out my current size . He said you look good in those size 8's.
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