The Dark Side of Binge-Eating Disorder
femmerides
Posts: 843 Member
a blog I wrote...thought you all would appreciate it
The dark side of Binge-Eating Disorder...
I decided to write this to give everyone a little bit of information on binge-eating disorder. I'm not sure why I titled it, "The dark side of Binge-Eating Disorder" because in all honesty, I'm pretty sure there isn't a bright side to it.
Binge-eating disorder is a serious eating disorder. Most people overeat during the holidays or on special occasions. People with binge-eating disorder overeat on an almost regular occurrence and mostly in secrecy.
I have binge-eating disorder. I don't deal with it on an everyday basis but I go through these weird periods of time where I binge almost daily. I'm currently going through that now and I hate it so much.
"When you have binge-eating disorder, you may be deeply embarrassed about gorging and vow to stop. But you feel such a compulsion that you can't resist the urges and continue binge eating." I am definitely going through this. After every single binge, I say I'm going to stop. And then a few hours later...BAM! There I go again.
The symptoms and signs of binge-eating disorder are as follows:
Eating large amounts of food
Eating even when you are full
Eating rapidly during binge episodes
Feeling that your eating behavior is out of control
Eating a lot even though you're not hungry
Depression
Anxiety
Frequent dieting, possibly without weight loss
Frequently eating alone
Feeling depressed, disgusted or upset about your eating.
This is exactly what i deal with on a daily basis...actually...it's more like an hourly basis. After every binge, I try to eat normal meals or even restrict my meals...but doing that usually leads to binge eating again and just creates this horribly vicious cycle.
The cause of binge-eating disorder is still unknown. However, there are a few factors at play with binge-eating disorder, such as:
Biological factors (you may have inherited genes that make you more susceptible to developing an eating disorder or sometimes brain chemicals are altered in people with this disorder)
Psychological factors (low self-worth, trouble controlling impulsive behaviors, managing moods or expressing anger)
Environmental factors (our society reinforces a desire for thinness. most people with binge eating disorder are overweight, they're most likely aware of their appearance and probably get angry with themselves after binge eating)
I am currently having a REALLY hard time with this. I am on depression meds which helped for quite a while. I didn't have many (if any) binges for almost 6 months. Once school started again and I started stressing...it started again and with a vengeance. I feel like I have no control over it. I finally went through my cupboards and got 3 garbage bags full of food to donate to a local food bank (2 garbage bags were baby food that the kids no longer eat). I feel a bit better about that but I still have a ton of crap food in my freezer and fridge and I will not throw it out. I just hope that I can have the self-control that I NEED to say no to the temptation...either that or I need to give the food to some friends. Anyone want ice cream bars? lol.
I hope this gave you all a bit of insight into the struggles of someone with binge eating disorder. it's a lot more common than you think....
The dark side of Binge-Eating Disorder...
I decided to write this to give everyone a little bit of information on binge-eating disorder. I'm not sure why I titled it, "The dark side of Binge-Eating Disorder" because in all honesty, I'm pretty sure there isn't a bright side to it.
Binge-eating disorder is a serious eating disorder. Most people overeat during the holidays or on special occasions. People with binge-eating disorder overeat on an almost regular occurrence and mostly in secrecy.
I have binge-eating disorder. I don't deal with it on an everyday basis but I go through these weird periods of time where I binge almost daily. I'm currently going through that now and I hate it so much.
"When you have binge-eating disorder, you may be deeply embarrassed about gorging and vow to stop. But you feel such a compulsion that you can't resist the urges and continue binge eating." I am definitely going through this. After every single binge, I say I'm going to stop. And then a few hours later...BAM! There I go again.
The symptoms and signs of binge-eating disorder are as follows:
Eating large amounts of food
Eating even when you are full
Eating rapidly during binge episodes
Feeling that your eating behavior is out of control
Eating a lot even though you're not hungry
Depression
Anxiety
Frequent dieting, possibly without weight loss
Frequently eating alone
Feeling depressed, disgusted or upset about your eating.
This is exactly what i deal with on a daily basis...actually...it's more like an hourly basis. After every binge, I try to eat normal meals or even restrict my meals...but doing that usually leads to binge eating again and just creates this horribly vicious cycle.
The cause of binge-eating disorder is still unknown. However, there are a few factors at play with binge-eating disorder, such as:
Biological factors (you may have inherited genes that make you more susceptible to developing an eating disorder or sometimes brain chemicals are altered in people with this disorder)
Psychological factors (low self-worth, trouble controlling impulsive behaviors, managing moods or expressing anger)
Environmental factors (our society reinforces a desire for thinness. most people with binge eating disorder are overweight, they're most likely aware of their appearance and probably get angry with themselves after binge eating)
I am currently having a REALLY hard time with this. I am on depression meds which helped for quite a while. I didn't have many (if any) binges for almost 6 months. Once school started again and I started stressing...it started again and with a vengeance. I feel like I have no control over it. I finally went through my cupboards and got 3 garbage bags full of food to donate to a local food bank (2 garbage bags were baby food that the kids no longer eat). I feel a bit better about that but I still have a ton of crap food in my freezer and fridge and I will not throw it out. I just hope that I can have the self-control that I NEED to say no to the temptation...either that or I need to give the food to some friends. Anyone want ice cream bars? lol.
I hope this gave you all a bit of insight into the struggles of someone with binge eating disorder. it's a lot more common than you think....
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Replies
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wow you sound just like me
sucks 
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Sorry to hear you're dealing with this. I can tell you though, that a good way to try to deal with this is to cut the isolation. This means considering finding others in your situation (either online or through Overeaters Anonymous) and consider trying to be more open about it with people you trust. Getting rid of the shame/embarrassment will make a world of difference. Good luck and take care!0
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Sorry to hear you're dealing with this. I can tell you though, that a good way to try to deal with this is to cut the isolation. This means considering finding others in your situation (either online or through Overeaters Anonymous) and consider trying to be more open about it with people you trust. Getting rid of the shame/embarrassment will make a world of difference. Good luck and take care!
thanks. posting this here was kinda like my way of getting rid of the shame...lol. kinda. i recently started talking to my husband about it but even though he tries to understand...it's hard for him to...he's never had to deal with an addiction of any kind.
i hope this helps someone out. it helped me to put it out there.0 -
Bump for later!0
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This described me exactly. 0
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Thank you for sharing. I know its hard to talk about something so private. I don't have "Binge -Eating Disorder" but I definitely am an emotional eater. I have waves of anxiety and depression that just come and go. When it gets really bad I opt to drinking which equals eating whatever is in sight! I wish you luck on your weight loss journey. My prayers are with you regarding your eating disorder. :flowerforyou:0
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I totally understand where you come from. I use to bing, and do it rarely now. My counselor got me to realize it's more of an emotional eating for me. I've come to consider what I feel like eating and eating stuff my body wants, even if it's not the healthiest. This way you get the physical satisfaction and you don't always feel the need to continue. Also, I know it's not easy, but trying to stay happier and doing stuff that makes you happy. Personally, the less emotional I am, the better I am at controling the binging. It is stoppable! I wish you the best of luck finding what works for yourself to stop you.0
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Thank you for sharing. I know its hard to talk about something so private. I don't have "Binge -Eating Disorder" but I definitely am an emotional eater. I have waves of anxiety and depression that just come and go. When it gets really bad I opt to drinking which equals eating whatever is in sight! I wish you luck on your weight loss journey. My prayers are with you regarding your eating disorder. :flowerforyou:
thank you! i appreciate that. i try really hard to abstain from alcohol just because it gets 10 times worse...lol. some day i hope to not have to deal with it at all.0 -
I've realized that I'm pretty sure I have binge-eating disorder... and it sucks. Sometimes I'm able to control it for quite a while (a few weeks), but then I just binge on anything in site, even if I'm already full and even if I KNOW it's bad for me and I'm going to regret it. The addiction/impulse is just overwhelming and completely takes over.
I think logging my food helps so I can see the damage I've done (and work towards undoing at the gym) and stop it before I do too much damage, but I've tried to start blogging/writing a journal every time I have a binge episode to figure out what the triggers are, but sometimes it just seems so random.
It's good to know that it's not just me that suffers through the uncontrollable urge sometimes, but it sucks! Thanks for sharing your blog post
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I can relate. I have been struggling with this for as long as I can remember. It comes and goes and my weight goes up and down and up up and down and up up up and down :grumble:
Much better lately, with only mild 'relapses' a couple times a month. As long as I don't go much over 2000 calories for the day on those binge-like days, I don't give myself a terrible time for it because I know that is a great improvement over the 3000+ calories days that used to come multiple times every week. Small victories, right?
Of course, I feel like the overall issue must be dealt with, as there is the fear that some trigger would send me backwards. Lots of similarities between this and other addictions/compulsive behaviors.
Seems like you are in a good enough place to be honest with yourself. That's the hardest part. I wish you the best in your journey and welcome a private message to talk more, if you get the inclination :flowerforyou:0 -
I was a full-on bulimic for years (and I still have some of those tendencies). You described my old life perfectly.
It sucks so hard and people just do not understand why we "choose" to do it. -sigh-0 -
I totally understand where you come from. I use to bing, and do it rarely now. My counselor got me to realize it's more of an emotional eating for me. I've come to consider what I feel like eating and eating stuff my body wants, even if it's not the healthiest. This way you get the physical satisfaction and you don't always feel the need to continue. Also, I know it's not easy, but trying to stay happier and doing stuff that makes you happy. Personally, the less emotional I am, the better I am at controling the binging. It is stoppable! I wish you the best of luck finding what works for yourself to stop you.
ya, one thing that i've noticed is the more i am at home, the more i binge. however, since i do school from home and i have two little ones at home, i kinda have to be at home a lot....it's hard. i'm definitely only doing one class next quarter. i bet that will help tremendously.0 -
I think more people really need to be aware of and understand eating disorders and that they are actually a mental illness and not something you can just stop because you feel like it. I had an ex that thought bulimia was just something girls do to be skinny, like a diet trick. :grumble:
I don't have BED but I do have binge cycles at times, followed by crazy things to "fix the damage" that usually lead to more binges and even worse things. So far this site seems to be helping but I am a bit worried that eating back exercise calories could lead to overexercising to make up for overeating...0 -
I've realized that I'm pretty sure I have binge-eating disorder... and it sucks. Sometimes I'm able to control it for quite a while (a few weeks), but then I just binge on anything in site, even if I'm already full and even if I KNOW it's bad for me and I'm going to regret it. The addiction/impulse is just overwhelming and completely takes over.
I think logging my food helps so I can see the damage I've done (and work towards undoing at the gym) and stop it before I do too much damage, but I've tried to start blogging/writing a journal every time I have a binge episode to figure out what the triggers are, but sometimes it just seems so random.
It's good to know that it's not just me that suffers through the uncontrollable urge sometimes, but it sucks! Thanks for sharing your blog post
i know! it sucks so much! and it IS uncontrollable. i'm usually very good at controlling a lot of other aspects of my life but this...it's just on a whole new level....it's been so bad that i have stopped tracking what i eat. maybe it's time i just do it and see what damage i've done. the worst part is, most of the time i can't remember what or how much i ate....0 -
I can relate. I have been struggling with this for as long as I can remember. It comes and goes and my weight goes up and down and up up and down and up up up and down :grumble:
Much better lately, with only mild 'relapses' a couple times a month. As long as I don't go much over 2000 calories for the day on those binge-like days, I don't give myself a terrible time for it because I know that is a great improvement over the 3000+ calories days that used to come multiple times every week. Small victories, right?
Of course, I feel like the overall issue must be dealt with, as there is the fear that some trigger would send me backwards. Lots of similarities between this and other addictions/compulsive behaviors.
Seems like you are in a good enough place to be honest with yourself. That's the hardest part. I wish you the best in your journey and welcome a private message to talk more, if you get the inclination :flowerforyou:
i tried to do the same...but i kept thinking 2000 was okay. and then 2200 was okay, etc....it's just getting worse. i'm hoping that since i've gotten this all out...that MAYBE it'll get better. i also think it's time to make an appt with my therapist. lol0 -
I was a full-on bulimic for years (and I still have some of those tendencies). You described my old life perfectly.
It sucks so hard and people just do not understand why we "choose" to do it. -sigh-
lol. ya. it's like being gay. people think it's a "choice." hello!! do you REALLY think i CHOOSE to stuff my face until i think i'm going to puke??? really??? like come on people. it's so lame. but at least there are people to talk to about it.0 -
Thanks for sharing your story. Your stats are amazing, by the way.
I too am a binge eater. I've lost about 70 lbs, but it is a constant struggle in my head not to eat out of control. It's exhausting. Although I've been successful at losing weight and keeping it off, I know that I am only a binge away from putting it back on.
Ridding your home of binge-likely foods is a great way to start. I also swear by intense exercise--it seems to quell the urges for me somewhat.
Good luck to you...0 -
Thank you for posting about this. Since I have started losing weight I have begun to understand how far binge-eating, or addictive eating, is also at the heart of why I've been overweight all my adult life. Ironically, the more weight I've lost, and the more I've changed to healthy eating during the day, the more it has revealed my addictive or binge eating at night.
I have found the books about over-eating by Gillian Riley really helpful. They recognise the very damaging psychological habits that cause over-eating and recognise it as an addiction. She also has very successful books about stopping smoking and draws on the same techniques. I still massively struggle but I do think that applying her methods is a good idea.
My partner too doesn't understand at all the fine line between eating and binge-eating. But there are others who understand and can share the experience with you of trying to deal with this. I have concluded that this is actually the most important thing for me to do - much more important than losing more pounds on the scales - as if I don't tackle this head on, the problem will recur.
Do you log your binges on MFP? I find it helpful to log eveyrthing I eat in a binge as it allows others to see it and try to reach out to call me on it and ask what's happening. It's really obvious if you look at my diary that I can do really well all day and then eat several hundred calories after dinner! Very happy to be a friend if you'd like, that would help me too - and for you to look at my diary.
Good luck and well done for talking to your husband and writing such an honest post.0 -
I think more people really need to be aware of and understand eating disorders and that they are actually a mental illness and not something you can just stop because you feel like it. I had an ex that thought bulimia was just something girls do to be skinny, like a diet trick. :grumble:
I don't have BED but I do have binge cycles at times, followed by crazy things to "fix the damage" that usually lead to more binges and even worse things. So far this site seems to be helping but I am a bit worried that eating back exercise calories could lead to overexercising to make up for overeating...
it's a vicious cycle...0 -
Thanks for sharing your story. Your stats are amazing, by the way.
I too am a binge eater. I've lost about 70 lbs, but it is a constant struggle in my head not to eat out of control. It's exhausting. Although I've been successful at losing weight and keeping it off, I know that I am only a binge away from putting it back on.
Ridding your home of binge-likely foods is a great way to start. I also swear by intense exercise--it seems to quell the urges for me somewhat.
Good luck to you...
here's the funny part...i exercise, i eat healthy, i just went to a turbokick instructor training to become an instructor, and even though i do all of that, i still cant stop the binges. sometimes i wish i was an alcoholic....then i could just detox my home of liquor...kinda hard to stop eating food. lol0 -
but I am a bit worried that eating back exercise calories could lead to overexercising to make up for overeating...
Um this was me yesterday. It's not good news! Then there's the justification of "oh, I can eat this hostess garbage food, it's okay because I'm going to go to the gym later to work it off". I’m setting myself up for failure and I think I should try not eating my exercise calories back for a while to see if that helps. Then I really HAVE TO make sure every calorie isn’t an empty calorie instead of justifying that it's okay because I'll just work extra to get rid of it.0 -
Thank you for posting about this. Since I have started losing weight I have begun to understand how far binge-eating, or addictive eating, is also at the heart of why I've been overweight all my adult life. Ironically, the more weight I've lost, and the more I've changed to healthy eating during the day, the more it has revealed my addictive or binge eating at night.
I have found the books about over-eating by Gillian Riley really helpful. They recognise the very damaging psychological habits that cause over-eating and recognise it as an addiction. She also has very successful books about stopping smoking and draws on the same techniques. I still massively struggle but I do think that applying her methods is a good idea.
My partner too doesn't understand at all the fine line between eating and binge-eating. But there are others who understand and can share the experience with you of trying to deal with this. I have concluded that this is actually the most important thing for me to do - much more important than losing more pounds on the scales - as if I don't tackle this head on, the problem will recur.
Do you log your binges on MFP? I find it helpful to log eveyrthing I eat in a binge as it allows others to see it and try to reach out to call me on it and ask what's happening. It's really obvious if you look at my diary that I can do really well all day and then eat several hundred calories after dinner! Very happy to be a friend if you'd like, that would help me too - and for you to look at my diary.
Good luck and well done for talking to your husband and writing such an honest post.
i will definitely check those out. i think it is time to make my food diary public. lol. and time to start tracking those calories again. thanks again everyone. i really appreciate it.0 -
Thank you for posting about this. Since I have started losing weight I have begun to understand how far binge-eating, or addictive eating, is also at the heart of why I've been overweight all my adult life. Ironically, the more weight I've lost, and the more I've changed to healthy eating during the day, the more it has revealed my addictive or binge eating at night.
I have found the books about over-eating by Gillian Riley really helpful. They recognise the very damaging psychological habits that cause over-eating and recognise it as an addiction. She also has very successful books about stopping smoking and draws on the same techniques. I still massively struggle but I do think that applying her methods is a good idea.
My partner too doesn't understand at all the fine line between eating and binge-eating. But there are others who understand and can share the experience with you of trying to deal with this. I have concluded that this is actually the most important thing for me to do - much more important than losing more pounds on the scales - as if I don't tackle this head on, the problem will recur.
Do you log your binges on MFP? I find it helpful to log eveyrthing I eat in a binge as it allows others to see it and try to reach out to call me on it and ask what's happening. It's really obvious if you look at my diary that I can do really well all day and then eat several hundred calories after dinner! Very happy to be a friend if you'd like, that would help me too - and for you to look at my diary.
Good luck and well done for talking to your husband and writing such an honest post.
i will definitely check those out. i think it is time to make my food diary public. lol. and time to start tracking those calories again. thanks again everyone. i really appreciate it.
Making your food diary public (at least to your friends) is definitely a step in the right direction! You can do it! I hate it but it helps me think that if I eat it I'm going to share it, do I really want to do that?0 -
i just made mine public. ugh. today has been the worst. tomorrow WILL be better.0
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Twenty years ago I quit drugs, five years ago I quit smoking, four years ago I quit drinking and in the last eight years I have lost over sixty pounds. All great accomplishments, but I can't quit food. It is the one addiction that I cannot cut out of my life like the others before them. This has been, by far, the hardest addiction to overcome. My main problem is the binge eating, for me, it is just like binge drinking. But with drinking, I can keep myself from ever starting. Unlike eating where I have to eat for survival, which is a trigger itself. I have considered seeking professional help, but not sure where to start.
Every single point that you made in you post, I cold have written myself. You are not alone.
Thank you for posting this.0 -
Some people don't understand how it is possible to feel like you have no control over eating. I have a nutritionist and explained to her that sometimes this need overtakes me driving me to eat excessive amounts if food. It would get so bad that I can be sitting at home and the next thing I know i'm at the store buying a box of cookies even though I'm telling myself I don't want them. Flash forward and the whole box is gone and I feel like throwing up. She looked at me like that just isn't something that I don't willingly control. That type if reaction makes it even harder to deal with.
I have cut out almost all sugar and fatty foods with no nutritional values and i've had about a month free of these episodes. I hope that this works in the long run and that you can find a way to deal with yours too.0 -
bump0
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My main problem is the binge eating, for me, it is just like binge drinking. But with drinking, I can keep myself from ever starting. Unlike eating where I have to eat for survival, which is a trigger itself. I have considered seeking professional help, but not sure where to start.
it's the hardest thing ever. as for seeking professional help...i have kaiser and i spoke with my doctor and asked her to refer me to a doctor that could help me. she referred me to the psychiatry department which then evaluated me and thought that the best thing for me were to take meds. they help a lot but they're not 100% either. i also see a therapist about every 6 weeks.0 -
Some people don't understand how it is possible to feel like you have no control over eating. I have a nutritionist and explained to her that sometimes this need overtakes me driving me to eat excessive amounts if food. It would get so bad that I can be sitting at home and the next thing I know i'm at the store buying a box of cookies even though I'm telling myself I don't want them. Flash forward and the whole box is gone and I feel like throwing up. She looked at me like that just isn't something that I don't willingly control. That type if reaction makes it even harder to deal with.
this is exactly why i really want to get in the nutrition field. i'm currently going to school for psychology and nutrition. i want to be a nutritionist or a counselor so that i can help those that struggle with this. but first, i need to figure out how to overcome this addiction myself. lol0 -
hi i have only joined today but the first thing i did was search to see if there were any posts related to binge-eating. i could have written everything that has been said myself.
About 2 months ago a friend opened my eyes to the fact that i have binge-eating disorder i did some research and could answer yes to every question related to it. looking back i have had the disorder since i was about 13/14 yrs old when i used to take food up to bed with me. my parents did realise what i was doing but never questioned it just called me greedy.
I moved in with my now husband when i was 17 and things got worse and worse. I have to admit we had a very rocky relationship and i suffered a lot of abuse i left and went into a domestic violence refuge when i was 20 but went back 6 months later.
Although things are now fine between us aged 27 we have 3 children 6 4 and 1, I still use food for comfort and emotional healing. Ive tried every diet under the sun and failed. Ive read loads of books about nutrition and can talk the talk...
I am currently at my heaviest 17st ouch and something has to be done. i know i have to be careful with my diet and not let myself get too hungry but with a bmi of 36 i have to admit i am starting to panic that this will affect the rest of my life. I have an appointment with my gp on wed to discuss anti-depressants and have 3 self - help books arriving in post tomorrow so fingers crossed.
As i said i am new to this and dont really know how it works but i would love some friends to help me along the way.
sorry for the long post and thank you so much to whoever has spent the time reading it :-)0
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