Friends that don't support you?!

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HannahMarieMcDougald
HannahMarieMcDougald Posts: 544
in Motivation and Support
Do any of you deal with a friend or friends in your life tat just doesn't care or doesn't support you in your weight loss journey? I have friends that are very skinny(good for them) and they have seen me fail with diets and they think I will fail again.They are not supporting me at all..In fact they keep inviting me over to eat or out to eat and when I order low cal stuff they are,' like why bother you are not going to stick with it." I am just going to talk to you guys and keep this hush hush until they are like WOW you look really good and I will say told you so! lol Who are they to judge? It really piss's me off.....What do y'all think?

Replies

  • lhinds85
    lhinds85 Posts: 66 Member
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    People like that motivate me more to prove them wrong. They get the slap in the face when you prove them wrong. Stay encouraged and you will do it.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
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    I think it sucks when people try to sabotage another person's efforts, like set you up to blow your day, or talk you out of gym time to have coffee.....but I also don't expect my friends to change their routine for me, I think you're on the right track, let your friends be your friends and let your fitness buddies be your fitness buddies!!:smile:
  • carebear7951
    carebear7951 Posts: 404 Member
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    Wow. That is not okay. How are they your friends? You should definitely stick with your plans and not go out with them or order quietly off of the lower calorie/fat stuff...and then show them you stuck with it. Although, not sure they're worth your time proving anything to. :(
    Maybe they feel threatened? Sometimes friends and SO's do feel threatened by the "chubby" person's intent to change....
  • fitaliciag
    fitaliciag Posts: 373
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    i don't think they are real friends at all.

    personally, I deal with co-workers and aquaintences (I don't call them friends becuase friend would be supportive) who say things like, "you are obsessed" or "you are too skinny, you need to stop starving yourself", etc. I EAT MORE THAN THEY DO! there's NOTHING wrong with being healthy and imporoving your health everyday.

    get new friends.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    Hmm... reminds me of... every single person I know?

    My only pleasure in life is proving these people wrong now. Which motivates me... I make sure I rub their face in my success! (he, better make use of them in a way no?)
  • kittycarson
    kittycarson Posts: 109
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    People like that motivate me more to prove them wrong. They get the slap in the face when you prove them wrong. Stay encouraged and you will do it.


    Ditto!!!
  • jike1017
    jike1017 Posts: 21
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    My Fiance is the same way....i know he loves me but i think he beleives that if i lose weight i won't want to be with him anymore which is a stupid thing to think anyways....i've told him and tried to reasure him that im losing weight for myself to feel sexier and not only that but to be able to feel sexy on my wedding day and not have to spend extra money on a dresses that the makers make 3 sizes to small anyways...it is very hard to do it on your own i am so happy that now a days we have sites that we can talk to each other and support each other
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
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    most everyone i know is supportive, and i have even recruited a couple to fitness pal..only 1 friend tries to sabbotage me ( well, shes more of someone i know thru my hubby )..we dont go to her house too often, as she lives pretty far away, but when we do, there are usually 10 or so people there, so she cooks huge meals, and pressures me to eat, eat, eat..uhm, it looks great, the food, but im watching my weight..oh, come on, it wont hurt you to eat, no, you are right, but i will gain 3 pounds from it in a day, and it takes me a week to get that weight back off, so its a step backwards..then she gets pissed off..SORRY LADY, but i am trying to save myself, and you just dont get it, i guess because you are ok with your over weightness :wink: its ok tho..we only see them 2, maybe 3 times a year anyways, but still..please respect us in this journey, and dont pressure us to eat (because i didnt make you cook 30 pounds of food ), or whatever it is you do to not be supportive
  • elzettel
    elzettel Posts: 256
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    Sadly, they don't really sound like friends. Good for you for having the drive to continue to try. It isn't always easy. Good luck and I know all your hard work will pay off!
  • ExYoYoGirl
    ExYoYoGirl Posts: 83
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    I am sorry that you are going through this - I have had people in my life who are unsupportive in general. I have cut ties with many of those people - if they won't be supportive of your attempts to lose weight and get healthier, they probably won't be supportive of anything else that involves you either. Life is hard, and there is no point in having people around who won't be there for you when you need them most. I am not suggesting that you cut these friends out of your life, just don't expect too much from them. There are many other people out there who can relate to you and who will support you - lean on them, and stop worrying so much about the others.
  • RussKathrein
    RussKathrein Posts: 1 Member
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    It's not just losing weight that takes discipline. There are plenty of things in life that people need to do that they fail at (quitting smoking, exercise, getting a job, etc). I think your friends don't like seeing you trying to succeed, so they try to disuade you. I tell my kids that there are two types of people. One is a person who walks in a room full of ladders and sees opportunity at the top of each one, so that person starts climbing the ladder. The other type is the person who walks in the room, looks at the ladder and just sees a lot of hard work. They choose not tp climb any ladders, but worse yet, when they see you climbing the ladder they decide it is easier to try to shake you off your ladder then to climb their ow. So that is what they do, and I think that is what your friends are doing. I'm not saying you need to get rid of these friends, but you need to surround yourself with people who like you are choosing to start climbing a ladder.

    Congratulations on your 4 pounds lost so far. Keep it up. I hit 20 pounds lost today and I can't wait to climb to that next rung.
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
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    I don't have any friends like that!

    My husband used to sabotage me a little because to him food=love so he would always be offering me food and the delicious food that I liked etc. I had a heart to heart with him about it and he understood that just because I'm rejecting his food does not mean that I'm rejecting his love!
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
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    i have a couple of co-workers like that, and at first i thought they had the problem, but then i realized that I had the problem. i was always talking about food, nutrition, exercise, and fitness. i'm sure they thought it was annoying and that i was trying to show off. i just simply stopped talking about it to them, and let the results speak for themselves.

    ps, got my co-worker to sign up for this.
  • Maggieq87
    Maggieq87 Posts: 400 Member
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    My "best friend" is like that. She says really mean stuff to me all te time. We live together do it's impossible to avoid. "When you're really fat it's easy to lose that much weight!" She's really not much smaller than me. This REALLY hurt my feelings. "See? I can eat crap food and still lose weight!" I've lost 4x the weight she's lost in the same time. It's ALL THE TIME. It's a huge strain on our relationship.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    They don't sound like real friends to me.
  • rice161
    rice161 Posts: 59
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    I do understand what you mean. I just don't talk about it with those friends. I have a friend I met in Zumba that I have grown close to. She's been taking Zumba twice as long as I have, yet I've lost 3-4 TIMES the weight because I watch what I eat. She doesn't at all. I was 40+ lbs heavier than her so at first it was no problem. It became a problem once I passed her. She kept saying, don't tell me when you get down to this number or this size because I don't want to think about how you're smaller than me now. I take care to know that what she said was NOT ABOUT ME! It's her own struggle to deal with herself and seeing me lose so much is making her confront her own efforts or lack there of. I just enjoy my time with her, don't talk about how much more I've continued to lose (much), and ignore the comments because I know they aren't personal. Sounds like your friends are just worried they won't be the skinny ones any longer. Just show them how it's done and they won't say anything then!
  • HannahMarieMcDougald
    HannahMarieMcDougald Posts: 544
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    My "best friend" is like that. She says really mean stuff to me all te time. We live together do it's impossible to avoid. "When you're really fat it's easy to lose that much weight!" She's really not much smaller than me. This REALLY hurt my feelings. "See? I can eat crap food and still lose weight!" I've lost 4x the weight she's lost in the same time. It's ALL THE TIME. It's a huge strain on our relationship.


    I am so sorry..I had a roommate like that and I had to move out we are better friends because of it...I quick smoking cigarettes and he got mad and tried to discourage me and I haven't touched a cigarette in over 2 years and guess what he quit smoking to...Sad thing is he is now picking on me for trying to loose weight...never ending circle...
  • ChrisIn757
    ChrisIn757 Posts: 159 Member
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    Do any of you deal with a friend or friends in your life tat just doesn't care or doesn't support you in your weight loss journey? I have friends that are very skinny(good for them) and they have seen me fail with diets and they think I will fail again.They are not supporting me at all..In fact they keep inviting me over to eat or out to eat and when I order low cal stuff they are,' like why bother you are not going to stick with it." I am just going to talk to you guys and keep this hush hush until they are like WOW you look really good and I will say told you so! lol Who are they to judge? It really piss's me off.....What do y'all think?

    WOW! that sounds to me like you need to remove some "friends" from you life. You need to set a boundry and explain to them that if they cant handle being supportive dont say anything at all or your friendship will cease to exist. I would avoid talking to those "friends" like the plague. You dont need them or their negativity on your journey to a fit lifestyle.
  • Stx106
    Stx106 Posts: 1 Member
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    "those that mind dont matter, and those that matter dont mind."
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    My fiancee is slender and has always been. He eats junk all the time, no problem. He use to be super picky about what he eats and since I do most of the cooking I tried to appease. I sat down and talked to him about it and he said if he doesnt like what I cook, that is his problem not mine. I have since went back to cooking the way I like with lots of veggies. He tries to be supportive and I understand this.
    I have put on 11 lbs since we have been together over the last 4 years. I am a LITTLE sensitive about the weight gain. It is not a big deal to my fiancee but because it is a sensitive topic for me it is easy to think he is saying something he is not.

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