Guest Etiquette

theaterfan23 · October 2011

I am so excited to be visiting good friends in SC next week that I have not seen in 6 years! I have a mild gluten intolerance and I was wondering when I should inform my friends of my dietary needs. They have not asked if I have any dietary needs and I am not sure of the proper way to inform them. I don't want to inconvenience them that much and I wouldn't mind stopping at a local grocery store when I arrive and picking up some gluten free staples myself. I don't have the gluten allergy so I can have small amounts if I decide to indulge but I don't like to have too much gluten. Both of them actually eat very healthy so I am not too worried about healthy foods being served just a little worried about the gluten part. It's been a while since I have been a houseguest in someone's home and I don't want to be a very gracious guest!

VashCrowley · October 2011

LOL... I may have misunderstood your post, but did you say that you DON'T want to be a gracious guest? Ummmm... does that mean you want to be rude and unthankful? LMAO. I don't mean that to sound like a rude question... it's more of a sarcastic question that I'm looking for the answer to. :laugh:

godroxmysox · October 2011

Maybe just ask if there's anything you can pick up on your way in....kinda slide the gluten thing in that way? I would definitely let them know somehow; you don't want them buying food for you that you cannot eat

megarooni · October 2011

I would mention it somewhat casually. And say you don't want to inconvenience them so you can grab the stuff or do whatever. I know there was someone had at my house that had a similiar issue with gluten and she didn't say anything and she would pick at certain foods and really not eat some things but eat lots of others. I felt like she didn't enjoy what I was making so I asked her after the fact and everything was clarified and I felt bad because I had not asked if there was anything I could do to accomidate to her.

_Peacebone_ · October 2011

Maybe just ask if there's anything you can pick up on your way in....kinda slide the gluten thing in that way? I would definitely let them know somehow; you don't want them buying food for you that you cannot eat

^Yep, I think that'd be the best way.

flimflamfloz · October 2011

Look, it might just be me... But why don't you just tell them?

I mean, I am sure they want you to enjoy your time over there as much as you want to (or do you like awkward/non-quality time with friend?), and if you have some specific requirements I don't see what is wrong with telling them, so they can ensure you have the best experience. Obviously tell them they don't need to move heaven and earth for you, and offer to bring some of your own things if it helps.

There is a difference between someone who does not like vegetables and someone who has some food intolerance.

kmbrooks15 · October 2011

If they are good friends, they should be very understanding. Just call them up to touch base about the trip and in that conversation, tell them. I'd also mention that you're willing to buy certain staples for yourself so that they don't feel they have to accommodate your dietary quirks. Then, if they say don't worry about it, then don't. I have often taken my own snacks and such when I travel to a friend's house or even to certain relatives' houses so that they don't have to provide special stuff for me. Just present it in a way that causes them the least amount of inconvenience, and they should be fine with it. If they aren't, I'd rethink the friendship.

AlsDonkBoxSquat · October 2011

I wouldn't mind stopping at a local grocery store when I arrive and picking up some gluten free staples myself.

This is what I always to. I don't anticipate my friends to cater to me in advance, so I just either pick it up when I get there or take it along in the first place.

cometnurse · October 2011

Having two kids with Celiac Disease I say just tell them that you will be stopping by the grocery store on the way to pick up a few things for your gluten intolerance. That lets them know of your situation without putting the expectation on them. Its a good possibility that they will ask you questions about what they can get to help. If that occurs you can give them some ideas of foods that are without gluten naturally.

Have fun!

kristelpoole · October 2011

I don't eat meat, so if I'm going to visit someone and there is any chance they'll be preparing food for me, I let them know. It's in their best interest that you tell them anyway. I've always offered to bring something of my own and that gets turned down about 75% of the time and people don't mind switching things up for you. And conversely, when I have people over for entertaining or dinner, I try to ask or accommodate everyone. For example, I'm having a halloween party this weekend. I will be making appetizers that will work for a spectrum so that even a vegan, a gluten-free, a vegetarian, a dairy-free etc will all have an option available to them for snacking.

ElizabethRoad · October 2011

What is the point of being sly about it? Just tell them directly and let them know you will buy some things for yourself. Even if you don't expect them to make food for you, they may be planning to do so and they would need to know.

Guest Etiquette

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