Blatant lies told by parents

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  • wifeygonzo
    wifeygonzo Posts: 287 Member
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    When my sister & i were about 4 & 5 my sister playing with my dad's after shave, so he told my sister "now you'll grow whiskers like dad" she screamed and never touched it again.
  • mallorybriann
    mallorybriann Posts: 1,380 Member
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    We used to tell my little bro and sis that white spots showed up on their tongues when they lied... evil big sis :devil:
  • kandrews24
    kandrews24 Posts: 610 Member
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    I told all my boys that chocolate milk comes from brown cows, strawberry milk comes from pink cows, vanilla chocolate swirl comes from those multi colored cows, dark chocolate milk comes from those very dark cows, and soy milk comes from light brown cows. They live in the city, what do they know. I have kept the lie up (forever), it just gets more complex. When they learned you could put things in regular milk to flavor them, I said "well, yes, but it isn't as good as the real thing".

    So when my eldest was in 4th grade, he corrected the teacher on this point and they got into an argument. She tried to tell him the truth, but he would hear none of it. He came home and told me how uninformed his teacher was. I just shook my head.

    He knows the truth now (he's 17), but he continues the lie for younger brothers . . . youngest is 6.

    Oh, pink cows, of course they exist. Haven't you seen them. I see them from time to time when we are on long drives. The funny thing is that by the time I tell the kids, we've already passed them. Strange.
  • BecksgotBack
    BecksgotBack Posts: 385 Member
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    My daughter is getting too old and smart for my lies...she calls me out on them. I will tell her anything to make her be quiet.

    For a long time she believed there was a "bad girl school" where parents send their bad kids--you don't get to come home at Christmas and they make you eat oatmeal for breakfast.

    I told her to quit poking the chicken while in line at the grocery store "why?? why??" i said her finger would turn green and fall off if she poked it thru the plastic and touched the chicken. the guy in front of me thought it was hilarious, turned around and showed her his "missing finger" she almost cried. i laughed.
  • Fairysoul
    Fairysoul Posts: 1,361 Member
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    My daughter is getting too old and smart for my lies...she calls me out on them. I will tell her anything to make her be quiet.

    For a long time she believed there was a "bad girl school" where parents send their bad kids--you don't get to come home at Christmas and they make you eat oatmeal for breakfast.

    I told her to quit poking the chicken while in line at the grocery store "why?? why??" i said her finger would turn green and fall off if she poked it thru the plastic and touched the chicken. the guy in front of me thought it was hilarious, turned around and showed her his "missing finger" she almost cried. i laughed.

    OMG to the last part, hilarious!!
  • krik84
    krik84 Posts: 47
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    My dad told us that if you see a bunch of cows in a field and they are laying down that it is going to rain.
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
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    My dad told us that if you see a bunch of cows in a field and they are laying down that it is going to rain.

    haha that isn't true!? Everytime I see them laying down...I think... "yep it's going to rain"... I guess I am gullible :embarassed:
  • p0pr0cksnc0ke
    p0pr0cksnc0ke Posts: 1,283 Member
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    I told her to quit poking the chicken while in line at the grocery store "why?? why??" i said her finger would turn green and fall off if she poked it thru the plastic and touched the chicken. the guy in front of me thought it was hilarious, turned around and showed her his "missing finger" she almost cried. i laughed.

    BAAAAAAHAHAHAH

    I LOL'ed SO loud at work!!!
  • staceyGO
    staceyGO Posts: 376
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    Giraffes say "oogie-boogie," turtles say "woot!" and the walrus says "coocookachoo"

    Spaghetti grows on trees, and mermaids eat fishsticks.

    Cannibalism haha
  • acfkaren
    acfkaren Posts: 60 Member
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    We have 2 for my friend's little girl (she is 4):

    When the golden arches of mcdonalds are lit up they have run out of fries

    When the ice cream van plays music it means it has run out..........

    heh heh
  • kjwickman
    kjwickman Posts: 11
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    That is awesome! Way to out smart the kids!
  • Molly_Louise
    Molly_Louise Posts: 503
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    My dad always told us if we peed in the pool at the country club, the water would turn red around us and everyone would know.

    THIS ISN'T TRUE?!?!

    Edit: This 'lie' was the sole reason I've never peed in a pool. At 18 and a half years old, I've just learned it's not true! :blushing:
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
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    My mom used to buy the bags of the Hershey's miniature candy bars. She told us the dark chocolate ones were diet candy bars. I believed her until I was an adult and realized she just wanted them all to herself and she knew we wouldn't eat them if we thought they were icky diet food.

    I wonder where I got my unhealthy relationship with food?
  • Jebw123
    Jebw123 Posts: 24
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    My dad told us that if you see a bunch of cows in a field and they are laying down that it is going to rain.

    haha that isn't true!? Everytime I see them laying down...I think... "yep it's going to rain"... I guess I am gullible :embarassed:

    I think this is true. They are making sure there is a dry patch to lay on later.
  • Suziq2you
    Suziq2you Posts: 396 Member
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    To get my oldest son to sit still for more than 30 seconds, I pretended to "unscrew" his belly button and then told him his legs would fall off if he moved. ::bad mommy::
  • JustEllieK
    JustEllieK Posts: 423 Member
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    The following are a combination of what i have told the kids at work, what my dad has told me and what my day care person used to tell me:

    "Those white lines in the sky are from Santa's sleigh checking on you"

    "When you hear the sound of the ice cream truck, you better be sleeping or else the sand man will jump out from the truck and suck you up".

    "Dont swallow the seeds, or else a watermelon will grow in your stomach"

    "DONT SCRATCH YOUR CHICKEN POCKS. If you do little chickens will pop out and live under your skin"

    "Dont stick your fingers in your mouth too much or else your fingers will fall off"

    Nap Time :"Time doesn't start until you fall asleep" (My personal favorite:)

    "Little boys who are mean to little girls turn into abusers" question: "what is an abuser" "Someone who lives with their mother forever and has to eat peas for the rest of their life"

    "If you drink coffee, hair will grow on your chest"

    "Dont pick your nose or else your finger will get stuck and your hand will have to be cut off"
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
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    When the ice cream van plays music it means it has run out..........

    heh heh

    I love this one, I wish i had learned it about 15 years ago! :laugh:
  • Maryfullofgrace
    Maryfullofgrace Posts: 342 Member
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    I was told that if you had white flecks or white lines in your nails (it comes from trauma to the nail) they showed up every time you told a lie. Mom would check our hands quite often for "lies".
  • MeredithRN
    MeredithRN Posts: 119 Member
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    This post is AWESOME! I love the belly button thing- that cracks me up! And the finger thing... And the forehead thing is GENIUS! I love them all!

    I wish I could use them. My 3 year old calls me out on everything already. Don't teach your children anything... when they are smart, you'll regret it. My next kid... is s.c.r.e.w.e.d
  • ABetterBalance
    ABetterBalance Posts: 298
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    My daughter refuses to eat spinach. I made it for dinner one night and she whined and said "I've already tried spinach, I don't like it" I told her it was leafy greens, and the rule is to try 3 bites of new foods.

    Turns out she loves leafy greens :happy: (still won't touch it if we call it spinach though!)

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