Screaming kicking and crying!

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  • karisbear
    karisbear Posts: 64 Member
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    She is very very spoiled, mom does everything for her. She actually now starting to get a back bone with the little one but more needs to be done. I would love to walk outside and let her scream but with my two sleeping, and a husband sleeping for night shift! i have to step in and do something. i really love everyones help thank you!!
  • karisbear
    karisbear Posts: 64 Member
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    Mom has no idea what to do little one completly rules the roost over there, and i have tried sitting there cartoons, books,arts,food,drinks,cuddle she will have nothing of it. she WILL push past me and countinue on with her fit.

    Ah. Well that makes your job much more difficult. :(

    With our son, who has a monster temper, we've started using the methods in the book "1,2,3, Magic!" Our version was for Christian parents, but I'm fairly certain there's a secular version out there if that's not your bag, and even if there isn't, you don't have to be Christian to use the methods -- he talks about God in his reasoning to the parents, but you're not like quoting Scripture at the kiddos or anything. To put it simply, when the child is doing an undesired behavior, you calmly say, "That's 1." No anger, no reasoning, nothing. You wait for them to stop. If they don't, "That's 2." You wait again. If it continues, you say, "That's 3," and then continue with a time-out, or whatever consequence is acceptable. For her, a time-out would be what I would suggest, one minute per year of age. She doesn't have to sit quietly, she just has to stay in the designated spot away from others. If it continues again, she gets counted again, and then the time-out. You can also use temporary removal of a toy, as you said in your first post, for a set time limit -- maybe until after lunch, or whatever. Find a consequence that works for you, and stick with it. Don't show emotion or anger, don't try to reason with her (because as the other person said, you can't reason with a 2-year-old), just calmly count and follow through. If it's something new that she might not know is against the rules, you can tell her the first time why she's getting counted, but otherwise, she knows what she's doing wrong.

    I've known several moms who have used the book, and I've heard of teachers using it, and it really does work well, IF you stick with it and are consistent. And it doesn't matter if she rules the roost at home -- she'll know the rules at your house if you are consistent with them.

    Good luck!

    Oh man i do the 1,2,3 on her nothing even when i take her stuff and say you will get .... back when you stop screaming, crying whatever and count. Nothing.
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
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    Mom has no idea what to do little one completly rules the roost over there, and i have tried sitting there cartoons, books,arts,food,drinks,cuddle she will have nothing of it. she WILL push past me and countinue on with her fit.

    She WILL keep it up if you LET her. She's 2. Even when it seems like you're not in control, and no offense meant here, it's your fault for letting her control you. There are proven techniques. When she gets a time out, it's 1 minute per age, so her time-out is 2-minutes long. No matter how many times she gets up (and i do mean no matter how many times, whether it takes hours or minutes) put her back there, kicking, screaming, crying and all. Do not speak to her. AT ALL. She will eventually stay there. Then you go to after she has done her 2-minute time-out, you reinforce why she was in a time-out, ask for an apology, and do hugs and kisses. Same for naptime. She does NOT have a choice whether or not naptime happens. even if she doesn't sleep, she MUST go into her bed. Again, i don't care how many times she gets up. The first time, you hold her hand back to bed and say, "it's naptime." The second time she does it, you say nothing at all, just lead her to the bed. And do this every time she gets out of bed until she stays in bed for however long YOU deem appropriate for a 2-year old's nap. You have to take back control. Obviously your home is chaos all day long and that's not good for anyone. Watch Supernanny. The woman is a genius. But seriously, this is a venting post about your frustrationa nd i get that, but YOU are letting it happen. Remember, she's 2. What's she going to do to you? Throw her blocks on the floor?

    This. Be firm and consistent. She will learn when she is with YOU, that crap ain't going to work. Kids are smart. They test for boundries constanty.

    My little nephews are disobient animals around their parents. But when the come over to my house, they act 80% better. No whining, less crying, less outbursts and talking back. I'm not mean to them but firm. And when I say you have to sit during dinner and eat what's on your plate or no desert, then that's exactly what I mean. If they complain or cry, I tell them go to the room, close the door and come out when your done with your drama session. I don't want to have to hear it.
  • karisbear
    karisbear Posts: 64 Member
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    Ihavenoideawhatthehellyouaretryingtosaybecauseofalloftherunonsentencesandpoorspellingandorgrammar.

    Being rude, yeah that's clever.

    In my experience dealing with young children like that they often hate to see their mommy leave. I used to babysit this little boy and after his mommy left he'd start crying and screaming and breaking down. I'd just pick him up and comfort him then sit down with him and calmly read him some of his favorite books until he calmed down. You could always ask the mother some ideas that would help calm her down. I've seen that taking favorite toys away from a child who's already upset just makes matters worse. She probably just wants to have something with her that would bring her comfort. If you haven't been babysitting her for a long time then she'll probably start to warm up to you after being around you a few times. I can walk in the room and just get the little boy to start playing so he's distracted when his mom leaves. Not sure how much help that was but maybe something will work!

    And they don't call it the "Terrible Two's" for no reason. You can't often reason with them, it usually doesn't work.

    She is warming up to me she happy when her parents pick her up, her parents say shes happier then she was at her other sitter. When she is at home all she wants to do is come over here, but with MOM. so even when i dont babysit her i can see her 2-3 times a day, mom will walk her over. By the way the live across the street. Dont get me wrong AWESOME ppl little one is just....
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    Ok! So im babysitting a girl age of 2 who is really good most of the time. But when mom leaves its hysterics to the point of no calming down. I've started putting her in time out, explaining to her when she is done crying she can come out.

    I tried sitting with her, hugging her and distracting her, and either she pushes past me and claws at the door or pushes away from me. But ALWAYS screaming. At nap time it's worse: lots of screaming and crying - loud screaming!

    I have two kids of my own so naptime is important - not only for them but it's a recharge break for me as well. I've gotten to the point during nap where if there is crying I take her favorite things from here and explain "these are for naptime. There is no crying at naptime. If you cry, I take these away." The crying sometimes continues, and when it does I take her things only for a minute two. Then the screaming goes on even more and I go back in and explain what I said before. Finally it seems to work at some point.

    I also forgot to say that she is being potty trained. In the morning, during her hissy fits (even if mom has taken her to pee), and I ask or take her to pee, she will not pee on the potty - she just continues to scream for time out until she pees the floor. She stops shortly afterward. I know I sound harsh with the things I do. I feel mean and terrible and I dont know what else to do. Does anyone know anything I can do?
    (please excuse the modification of your original text - just wanted to make it easier to read through a few times)

    I don't know how much success you will have trying to reason with a two-year-old. The brain just doesn't have the same kind of processing skills that we do at such a young age.

    It sounds like you might need to talk to the mom about what's going on and see if you can both come up with some solutions. There is plenty of opinion out there with regard to use of "Time Out." Some will say it's bad and never to be used. Some will swear by it. I think *ANY* solution you try with a child that doesn't work after a few attempts should be replaced or modified.

    It's tempting to just stubbornly try to impose your will. And that may work. It's probably more successful than negotiation. But a battle of wills with a toddler isn't the best approach, IMO. Get some help - check out some books from the library, search the Internet for ways to interact and engage with a two-year-old. Research ways to set limits with a two-year-old.

    You say that mom has no idea of what to do - so she knows what is happening? Sounds like a tough situation. Is this a job you have to have? Is it a relative? Are you committed to this job? Really young children can be difficult to care for. Some people aren't well-suited for it - their personalities work better with kids four, five, school-age, etc.

    What you are describing isn't really all that abnormal for young kids. Kiddos don't have the language skills to articulate what they want. Heck, most of us struggle with that now. So they cry and kick and scream and pee on the floor. The kids do as well.

    I hope you find a solution that works for you.
  • karisbear
    karisbear Posts: 64 Member
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    Ok! So im babysitting a girl age of 2 who is really good most of the time. But when mom leaves its hysterics to the point of no calming down. I've started putting her in time out, explaining to her when she is done crying she can come out.

    I tried sitting with her, hugging her and distracting her, and either she pushes past me and claws at the door or pushes away from me. But ALWAYS screaming. At nap time it's worse: lots of screaming and crying - loud screaming!

    I have two kids of my own so naptime is important - not only for them but it's a recharge break for me as well. I've gotten to the point during nap where if there is crying I take her favorite things from here and explain "these are for naptime. There is no crying at naptime. If you cry, I take these away." The crying sometimes continues, and when it does I take her things only for a minute two. Then the screaming goes on even more and I go back in and explain what I said before. Finally it seems to work at some point.

    I also forgot to say that she is being potty trained. In the morning, during her hissy fits (even if mom has taken her to pee), and I ask or take her to pee, she will not pee on the potty - she just continues to scream for time out until she pees the floor. She stops shortly afterward. I know I sound harsh with the things I do. I feel mean and terrible and I dont know what else to do. Does anyone know anything I can do?
    (please excuse the modification of your original text - just wanted to make it easier to read through a few times)

    I don't know how much success you will have trying to reason with a two-year-old. The brain just doesn't have the same kind of processing skills that we do at such a young age.

    It sounds like you might need to talk to the mom about what's going on and see if you can both come up with some solutions. There is plenty of opinion out there with regard to use of "Time Out." Some will say it's bad and never to be used. Some will swear by it. I think *ANY* solution you try with a child that doesn't work after a few attempts should be replaced or modified.

    It's tempting to just stubbornly try to impose your will. And that may work. It's probably more successful than negotiation. But a battle of wills with a toddler isn't the best approach, IMO. Get some help - check out some books from the library, search the Internet for ways to interact and engage with a two-year-old. Research ways to set limits with a two-year-old.

    You say that mom has no idea of what to do - so she knows what is happening? Sounds like a tough situation. Is this a job you have to have? Is it a relative? Are you committed to this job? Really young children can be difficult to care for. Some people aren't well-suited for it - their personalities work better with kids four, five, school-age, etc.

    What you are describing isn't really all that abnormal for young kids. Kiddos don't have the language skills to articulate what they want. Heck, most of us struggle with that now. So they cry and kick and scream and pee on the floor. The kids do as well.

    I hope you find a solution that works for you.

    Its a job i took because i didnt think it was that hard, i dont want to quit i would feel terrible. Mom has no options for me, i know 2 yrs are rough my son is 2 my daughter is 15 months, and a cranky screaming 2 yr old thats not mine. someday i feel just DONE.
  • Portugueselove
    Portugueselove Posts: 255 Member
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    If it was my child i'd tape her mouth shut. HAHA i know.. i am evil.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    I can't add anything helpful really, as my son was just like that when he was 2. I once left him with a childminder for 4 hours and he spent the entire time screaming and clawing at the door, and eventually gave himself a temperature, so I never left him with anyone who wasn't family after that until he started school.

    Anyway, I think 2 is too young to potty train, personally. Both of mine have done it of their own accord right on their 3rd birthday without a single pee on the floor incident. If she's peeing on the floor, she isn't ready.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Have you tried spanking?
  • karisbear
    karisbear Posts: 64 Member
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    shes ok with the potty training, shes pretty much done it herself. she always tells me when she has to pee. Is just the first moments after mom leaves theres nothing you can do to snap her out of her toddler rage! which is when she pees on the floor.
  • karisbear
    karisbear Posts: 64 Member
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    Have you tried spanking?

    im not spanking her shes not mine.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    I'm inclined to say she's a toddler. They are f***ing annoying.

    My 4 year old kicked a man in the street yesterday because he "didn't like him". No more explanation than that. He also drew all over his older brother's homework book, and attempted to kill himself crossing the road and refusing to hold my hand as he was sulking. Sometimes, they are just little sods.
  • karisbear
    karisbear Posts: 64 Member
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    lol for my little boy at night when he sleeps i some times find it helpful to put a hand on his head and say I CAST THESE DEMONS OUT!! lol oh man children
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
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    shes ok with the potty training, shes pretty much done it herself. she always tells me when she has to pee. Is just the first moments after mom leaves theres nothing you can do to snap her out of her toddler rage! which is when she pees on the floor.

    Plan an activity with her and let the mom slip out of the house quietly.
  • alerica1
    alerica1 Posts: 310 Member
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    You sound very frustrated with her. Is NOT babysitting her anymore an option?


    Excellent idea! :)
  • karisbear
    karisbear Posts: 64 Member
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    doesnt work still flips, because if mom is there shes on her lap. If i wanna do anything with her mom comes as she drags mom everywhere. if mom say no you go, or go see Ha! crying!
  • karisbear
    karisbear Posts: 64 Member
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    doesnt work still flips, because if mom is there shes on her lap. If i wanna do anything with her mom comes as she drags mom everywhere. if mom say no you go, or go see Ha! crying!
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    lol for my little boy at night when he sleeps i some times find it helpful to put a hand on his head and say I CAST THESE DEMONS OUT!! lol oh man children

    I am going to try that one tonight.
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
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    "oh" a Klingon. Yep, that will take some time to get used to. Not impossible but it's not going to be an overnight fix though
  • karisbear
    karisbear Posts: 64 Member
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    Bahahaha!! Klingon