Should you have influence as far as you kids wardrobe?
Iamfit4life
Posts: 3,095 Member
Or should you just let them be themselves?
Myself I had dreams of two perfect well dressed children. And I find the older they get, the more and more they want to pick what they wear and be little individuals. Sometimes the results are interesting to say the least but I let it go.
So right now.. I bite my tongue when my son wants to wear a cars shirt over an iron man shirt, pants that don't match and flip flops.
I bite my tongue when my daughter puts together a crazy outfit, and tops it off with an interesting side ponytail.
I think it's so important for them to be individual. So as long as pictures aren't being taken, I let them be them. Hoping this helps them continue to be confident little people.
Myself I had dreams of two perfect well dressed children. And I find the older they get, the more and more they want to pick what they wear and be little individuals. Sometimes the results are interesting to say the least but I let it go.
So right now.. I bite my tongue when my son wants to wear a cars shirt over an iron man shirt, pants that don't match and flip flops.
I bite my tongue when my daughter puts together a crazy outfit, and tops it off with an interesting side ponytail.
I think it's so important for them to be individual. So as long as pictures aren't being taken, I let them be them. Hoping this helps them continue to be confident little people.
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Replies
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As long as the clothes are clean and age appropriate my kids can dress however they want.0
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My theory: as long as they are clean, and appropriate (no excessive skin, otherwise hidden body parts exposed), then I am totally fine with the self expression. On a different note, my three year old likes to pick out his clothes, so I choose three outfits ( bottoms, tops) that will match in any combination, then let him pick from those. I'm happy he matches, and he is happy he gets to be independent. My 12 year old does pretty dern good for her age, although I question some of the color combinations, etc. . . Good luck!0
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As long as they are modest and dressed for the weather I don't meddle too much. Depending on how crazy they get.0
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It's pretty easy now, I imagine it will get harder when they are older. Especially with the daughter.0
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My girls are 4 & 6. Most of the time I let them pick whatever they want and I have to approve it. Sometimes my 4 year old want to wear shorts when it's too cold or something but other than that I think they don't do too bad matching stuff. I don't really care if it's mismatched. I think letting them find their individuality is important.
* I can not describe how nervous I am for when they do get older though...haha...the 6 yr old already has a bit of a 'tude every now & then...0 -
I used to dress myself. I wore big baggy shirts with polka dot spandex.... so many pictures... so embarrassing! xD
I wish my mom would have helped me out a little lol0 -
I let my children wear what they want to with in reason. If I really have a strong hate for something in their wardrobe then I'll throw it away while doing the laundry.
But generally I let them wear what they want to wear and call them creative children learning to express themselves.
Piper often wears jeans under skirts, or pants under jean skirts. She will not wear tank tops and she admits that its because they feel funny under her arm pits but will come home from school (even in the winter months) and put on her bathing suit to play.
Sofie is given 3 or 4 sets of clothes that she is allowed to mix and match and change as often as she wants for a few days, then to the laundry they go. Her favorite way to dress is jeans, t-shirt and a dress over it, be it dress up dress or real dress. She is a fancy princess and will dress as such.
They have left the house wearing some crazy things that make me shudder but as Pipers teacher said last year, "as long as they are clean and warm why bother'...learn to pick your battles.
I should ad that they do match their clothes, they have melt downs if they feel they don't match.0 -
It's pretty easy now, I imagine it will get harder when they are older. Especially with the daughter.
Why would you think that?0 -
Parents should be a part of the clothing purchase. That's a part of being a parent, helping your kids make the right decisions. How they choose to coordinate with the clothes you helped pick out can be left up to them. Too many parents these days sit on the sidelines and let their kids make far too many choices.... wrong choices too.0
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My girls are free to choose their own clothes, BUT
1) they have to match. That's the way they learn. If it doesn't match, I send them back to the drawing board and let them choose something else.
2) The outfit needs to be appropriate for the occasion. If we're going to church, it needs to be dressy and tidy. If it's a play event, then they need to choose accordingly and not come out with something that shouldn't be worn to roll around on the ground.
I think it lets them learn what's appropriate and respectable and still have control over the other variables.0 -
I think you are doing the right thing by letting them be themselves, at their age dressing themselves must be fun! of course they aren't going to know what looks cute adn what doesnt haha. But they will grow out of it i'm sure as they get older.
What if you gave them a tiny little .. "what matches and what doesnt" lesson and make it fun? and or you can bond with your daughter by teaching her how to do different styles with her hair in a fun way!
There are appropriate ways you can take to lead them in the right direction without over bearing their individuality, but at this age, let them have fun with it too which you are doing
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My 10yr old does 100% by herself,she knows what id disaprove of,and lol she loves the stupid side pony thing!...my 7yr old gets to pick from 3 diffrent shirts then she picks her pants(as long as they match). She's the kid that would wear polkadot pants with a striped shirt if I let her lol...my other 2 I dress,but there only 3 and 2
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I wish I had more help form my mom as a kid. I'm 21 and still don't match half of the time because I think it does, but it really doesn't.
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It's pretty easy now, I imagine it will get harder when they are older. Especially with the daughter.
Why would you think that?
Well teenage girls sometimes do want to wear pretty revealing clothes.
Hopefully she won't be one of those, and a new "grunge" baggy clothes style will be around. lol0 -
Or should you just let them be themselves?
Myself I had dreams of two perfect well dressed children. And I find the older they get, the more and more they want to pick what they wear and be little individuals. Sometimes the results are interesting to say the least but I let it go.
So right now.. I bite my tongue when my son wants to wear a cars shirt over an iron man shirt, pants that don't match and flip flops.
I bite my tongue when my daughter puts together a crazy outfit, and tops it off with an interesting side ponytail.
I think it's so important for them to be individual. So as long as pictures aren't being taken, I let them be them. Hoping this helps them continue to be confident little people.
LOL @ your son's outfit. Mine is still so young he doesn't care, but I do worry about the days when he does. Thank you so much for posting this and reminding us that they already have little control over their lives, so outfits should not be a power struggle.0 -
My 6 year old son goes to Catholic school so his daytime wardrobe is his uniform. Typically I have the 3 year old's clothes ready before he is even awake. If we're not going anywhere important then they can choose.0
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I let my daughter pick out her own clothes. She is two years old. It is fun!0
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I wish I had more help form my mom as a kid. I'm 21 and still don't match half of the time because I think it does, but it really doesn't.
How do you know it doesn't match?0 -
I wish I had more help form my mom as a kid. I'm 21 and still don't match half of the time because I think it does, but it really doesn't.
How do you know it doesn't match?0 -
i pretty much let my girls pick their own outfits unless we're going somewhere super important, but even then i will let them pick from 2 or 3 "mom approved" outfits. as long as its weather appropriate i dont mind. theyre 4 and 5, btw heh so we get some interesting outfits. its not worth the fight for me0
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I wish I had more help form my mom as a kid. I'm 21 and still don't match half of the time because I think it does, but it really doesn't.
How do you know it doesn't match?
Someone will mention it to me haha or when I'm home, I'll put something on, and my mom will comment on it. One that sticks out is I had on a striped shirt and plaid shorts and my mom said it did not match, but on Two and a Half Men, Alan wore the exact same thing once haha I still think stripes and plaid matches0 -
I agree with AZ.....I have a 15yr old son.....if he's pants hang any lower they will fall off. I yell til I'm blue in the face but needless to say my face is always blue :-(Parents should be a part of the clothing purchase. That's a part of being a parent, helping your kids make the right decisions. How they choose to coordinate with the clothes you helped pick out can be left up to them. Too many parents these days sit on the sidelines and let their kids make far too many choices.... wrong choices too.0 -
My son had a 'thing' for camo. He had camo t-shirts, camo jam shorts, camo Vans. Hilarious. As an adult he smiles and tells me that I made him wear it! Sure bud, go on thinking that way!
It all worked out, he dresses well now! 0 -
I don't have kids, but if I did I would let them wear what they want within reason. As long as it's age-appropriate, doesn't show skin, and weather appropriate, I'd be happy. Plus, with little kids, it's just cute to see what they put together.0
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I don't have kids, but if I did I would let them wear what they want within reason. As long as it's age-appropriate, doesn't show skin, and weather appropriate, I'd be happy. Plus, with little kids, it's just cute to see what they put together.
Nothing cuter than seeing the look of pride on their faces. Regardless of how interesting you find the outfit!0 -
I've picked 100% of what I wear since I was 4 and started kindergarden. This goes for picture days as well . I may have made questionable outfits lol but it's what I wanted to wear . I figgure if you bought the clothes for your child why not let them mix and match how they want to , you know they will be covered respectably so I don't see the problem until they are older and buy there own clothing0
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I've always let my kids pick their own outfits. We're with them when they buy the clothes so they are age appropriate. My girls have always chosen to dress conservitive side. My son though has had a multitude of hair colors. He now chooses a crew cut. I think children need to figure out the best way to express themselves either through type of dress or other means. As long it is occasion appropriate I've discovered it doesn't matter my opinion they are who they are and like what they like.0
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My daughters are 7, 5, and 2, so I imagine this is subject to change. For now, I buy 98% of their clothes without them, then they pick something weather-appropriate for themselves most days. They've never complained, so it must not be too big a deal. I will definitely have "influence" forever, in that they're not going to dress inappropriately to a certain degree, but there's a ton of freedom within that range still.
I don't think confidence comes from dressing in a certain way, or being in charge of clothing choices to a certain degree-- I think it comes from setting somewhat difficult "goals" for yourself, then working, actually working, to meet those goals through your own hard work. People (parents in this case) can help teach, but not do the doing.
So I'm not at all worried that in impedes their confidence, but I also look at confidence in a different light than I think most people these days. If anything, I'd say kids these days have too much of the wrong kind of confidence, and not enough of the right kind. But I sound like an old lady when I say things about 'kids these days', so I should just zip it. LOL0 -
I don't have kids, but if I did I would let them wear what they want within reason. As long as it's age-appropriate, doesn't show skin, and weather appropriate, I'd be happy. Plus, with little kids, it's just cute to see what they put together.
Nothing cuter than seeing the look of pride on their faces. Regardless of how interesting you find the outfit!
Agree with the above -- but I do retain veto power. Usually only exercise it for weather, occasionally while shopping.0 -
My girls are free to choose their own clothes, BUT
1) they have to match. That's the way they learn. If it doesn't match, I send them back to the drawing board and let them choose something else.
2) The outfit needs to be appropriate for the occasion. If we're going to church, it needs to be dressy and tidy. If it's a play event, then they need to choose accordingly and not come out with something that shouldn't be worn to roll around on the ground.
I think it lets them learn what's appropriate and respectable and still have control over the other variables.
Totally agree with this. . I like for my daughters clothes to be matching. . call it my OCD. . . but like prints and stripes definitely a no. . . When that was a fad for a while in the clothing industry it made me crazy. . .0
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