CHUCK. NORRIS.

Beastette
Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
edited October 4 in Chit-Chat
My sister posts on my facebook wall: You are more beautiful then Cinderella! You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!

I reply: I am more beautiful than Chuck Norris. I smell like gym clothes and push ups. Thank you. :-)

Which made me wish for a Chuck Norris MPF thread soooo hard. For inspiration: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Chuck Norris HCG: A one-time injection of an extract of his sweat and eat whatever you want for life. You will instantly lose all excess weight, still won't be as awesome as Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris kills your thread, your computer also dies.

Question about the site: how do I set my calorie deficit to...Chuck Norris. Pretty sure he is eating back his exercise calories.

You get the idea...

Replies

  • Aileen46
    Aileen46 Posts: 176 Member
    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried

    Just two of my favourites. :)
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    I've always loved:

    Chuck Norris does not do push ups. He pushes the Earth DOWN.
  • Shizzman
    Shizzman Posts: 527 Member
    Chuck Norris CAN slam a revolving door!
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    Go to Google.com.

    Type "Google Chuck Norris"

    Click "I'm feeling lucky"

    :smile:
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
    Chuck Norris built Rome in a day.

    Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.


    Chuck Norris doesn't battle... he just allows you to lose
  • Saffa_NZ
    Saffa_NZ Posts: 11 Member
    Chuck who?
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    Go to Google.com.

    Type "Google Chuck Norris"

    Click "I'm feeling lucky"

    :smile:

    THIS? This WINS. No. This Chucks.
  • stresco
    stresco Posts: 354 Member
    The Boogy-Man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
  • stresco
    stresco Posts: 354 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing.
  • Ebbykins
    Ebbykins Posts: 420 Member
    LOL My Mr. managed to con the guy in the cell phone store into letting his name appear as Chuck Norris when he calls people... it's hilarious.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    LOL My Mr. managed to con the guy in the cell phone store into letting his name appear as Chuck Norris when he calls people... it's hilarious.

    LMAO! Is his ringback tone the sound of a roundhouse kick? If so, I'd know it was fake. Chuck Norris' ringback tone is an actual roundhouse kick.
  • ZombieKillaPrincess
    ZombieKillaPrincess Posts: 404 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't teabag. He potato sacks.
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    funny-pictures-chuck-norris-cat.jpg
  • wondergirl1003
    wondergirl1003 Posts: 138 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    brle.gif?1318992465
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    tumblr_lr6u58yXj91qbypelo1_500.jpg?1318992465
  • Aileen46
    Aileen46 Posts: 176 Member
    These are all too funny!! :laugh:
  • Erindipitous
    Erindipitous Posts: 1,234 Member
    I feel kind of left out that I never found the fascination with the ol' Texas Ranger.. :ohwell:
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    It really isn't about him. It is about awesome personified. And awesome personified just happens to mean Chuck Norris...

    Plus, I heard that he can hear what we type. Be careful of your words, woman...
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,359 Member
    My children like to tell people I used to date Chuck Norris and photoshop him into family photos. (I never met him.)
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    My children like to tell people I used to date Chuck Norris and photoshop him into family photos. (I never met him.)

    Preschool Me used to tell people that Fred Rogers was my real dad. Way to aim low, Little CTG. :grumble:
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
    Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like chuck norris
  • Jebw123
    Jebw123 Posts: 24
    Chuck Norris' shadow can bench 250 lb.
  • loved11
    loved11 Posts: 92 Member
    My dad and chuck norris learned karate together. Right before good guys wear black came out he contacted my dad for help because he for got some of the motions. My dad made film of himself doing them and sent to chuck. Chuck came to Colorado for a promotion and we all got to go and meet him, I even got a hug. He sparred with my dad, it was really cool.
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