How to stay motivated with an overweight significant other

sunshinestorm
sunshinestorm Posts: 81 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm sure this topic is out there somewhere... but I am kinda struggling right now and my husband is super supportive of me, but he hasn't jumped on the band wagon with the fitness and health journey I've been on and this makes it challenging for me at times. He is overweight and we have his food and my food but sometimes his food is tempting and I'll eat it, or I'll feel guilty for needing the living room to do my exercises if I didn't get a chance to do them in the morning. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment and I gave up my gym membership to save money, we both made sacrifices. How do I continue on my journey without making him feel inferior and without trying to force things on him? What are some tips you guys have? This is unlike me to be so down but its been a rough couple weeks. Thanks.

Replies

  • susaneec
    susaneec Posts: 72 Member
    That's rough. I suppose it helps to focus on all the benefits of your continued journey. A healthier body and mindset will lead to a healthier life. It's your body and you get to take care of it as you see fit. You share the apartment. You are entitled to be in the living room, too. If you are worried that it is negatively impacting him, talk to him. Ask him. Put it out there and see what you get. Whatever happens, you have support here.
  • SarahE0417
    SarahE0417 Posts: 35
    BUMP...except my significant other is skinny and has a high metabolism...but eats like a horse.
  • jakejacobsen
    jakejacobsen Posts: 584 Member
    my wife started first, and I eventually wanted what she had don't lose hope and keep being a good example!
  • kyrstensmom
    kyrstensmom Posts: 297 Member
    I have struggled every time I have embarked on a weight loss journey, not because my husband/kids weren't supportive, but because it was their food and my food. This time has been really different. We have changed our eating habits as a family and I can eat what everyone else eats, as long as I watch my portions. Maybe you can compromise with your husband that meals are healthy things that you can both eat, and he can have the snacks/desserts that he wants if he isn't ready to walk the path with you now. You might be surprised to find that he will probably start to lose a little and he will join you sooner than you think.
  • Hayesgang
    Hayesgang Posts: 624
    My husband is the same way - He is very supportive and has told me that he completely understands and I have to believe him.

    I don't blame him for his food choices because truthfully it's none of my business (just like it wasn't his when I ate 1/2 bag of chips at one sitting). There are nights that we don't eat dinner together because I'm downstairs working out or at yoga and he gets it because ultimately if I'm miserable with myself I won't be any good to anyone else. This time its a journey for me - I'm no longer looking for quick solutions or excuses.

    If you are concerned about your husbands feeling TALK to him and let him know - just because you preceive something doesn't make it reality (maybe be doesn't care that he can't watch TV for 30 while you work out).
  • _Sonia_
    _Sonia_ Posts: 40
    This is tough for me... my husband is in very poor health, but isn't willing to do much about it. Unfortunately, the more weight I lose, and the higher my fitness level gets, the worse he feels. :( But... I keep going.

    My parents were in a similar situation once--it took a long time, but my Dad eventually came around! My Mom was always in better shape--hell, the woman taught aerobics until she was 65 years old--but my Dad really made an effort.

    Later, when he got Parkinson's, and his own health went downhill, fortunately my Mom was fit enough to care for him well. She was able to support him, even lift him when necessary--and this made it possible to keep him at home much longer than would have been possible otherwise. Not sure if that's motivating or just depressing... but I know my parents' story has kept me inspired. Now, my Mom's pushing 80, and still in amazing shape for her age--that definitely keeps me motivated!
  • jakejacobsen
    jakejacobsen Posts: 584 Member
    * he may like watching you work out
  • occupyme
    occupyme Posts: 30 Member
    Can you put your food in one cabinet/fridge shelf and his in/on another? And if there are specific foods that really tempt you, ask him to 1) not buy them, 2) leave them at work, 3) store them in his car...He loves you, right? And is supportive? Don't hesitate to ask him to help. The conversation can include: I am not pushing you to do this with me, but this is how you can help me be successful...
  • GregT44
    GregT44 Posts: 28
    I'm in same boat as you but I'm trying to get my wife on board (she's 130lbs)... Slowly turning her onto good food but it's been a struggle. She's well under my weight and still in the mindset of *can eat what I and not worry about the few pounds I've gained*. So I'm dealing with the sweet snacks and higher calories food she brings in for now. I'm doing for me.
    Good luck with your goals. You can reach them if its truely what you want.
  • chazbo35
    chazbo35 Posts: 79 Member
    Well, I will just tell you what I go through and perhaps we can compare notes somewhat. My wife and I are both overweight and she has always had trouble getting and staying motivated. We have sat down many of times to talk about it and I try as best that I can to motivate her to eat right and exercise. Although we do have a gym membership, there are many days she doesn't go to workout, but I try to keep as best of schedule that I can (usually 4 days/week). With all of that said, I have to keep doing what I know I need to do regardless of what she does. YES, Id love for her to share the same enthusiasm I have. But as much as It may bother me, I cant eat what she eats or share the same so-so attitude about workouts. I have to hope that perhaps I can inspire her to do the right things too. But I can't make her do it. Do what you need to do for you! He needs to know, if he doesnt already, that this is a much needed part of each of your lives, And as much as you want him to join you, your going to do what you need to do for you regardless. Anyhow, i dont have all the answers but no one else is going to do this for me but me. Same as you! I can choose to be unhealthy and unhappy or get to the place I can help myself. And perhaps through that other things will fall into place as well. Good luck to you in your decisions and God Bless you!
  • sunshinestorm
    sunshinestorm Posts: 81 Member
    Thanks for your support and sharing your ideas and stories. Yes, I will talk to him more. We have great communication, its mostly my issue with feeling like I need to take care of everyone and myself last. We do not have kids yet, but I know that we will be feeding our children nutritious foods. I wish he had more outlets to go and do things, his thing is playing video games. I've tried to get him to be more active and he is not interested. So I feel like since his thing is the video games, I should allow him to do that. But that takes over the one tv we have in our place.. Its about compromise though.

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