I had a major realization today...
Kslice39
Posts: 146
I dont know if this has ever happened to anyone else or maybe im crazy or something but heres the story...I've always known that i was overweight, i never doubted that. And recently I have gained a few extra pounds,( even though there should never be an excuse for not exercising and wanting to take care of your body and im not making excuses because it all falls on my own shoulders), but life things have kept arising... like one example my mother came and visited us for a few days and we wanted to take her out, the it was a baby shower, then a birthday, then halloween etc...just life stuff that keeps coming up. Like i said iver always known i was overweight but i never considered myself or labled myself as "obese." and just thought i could lose a few pounds...
well here is my realization, I saw a picture of myself from halloween(as in as picture taken yesterday) and i just cried...i cried for like 3 hrs straight
....i never realized how BIG i really was. I feel like a disappointment...i dont even know how my man could possibly be attracted to someone so nasty...i want to start crying again just thinking about the picture. I feel so helpless and lost right now. Im just so disappointed with myself to allow myself to get to this point, especially without even realizing how far i was letting myself go. Im starting to thing that maybe i knew how big i was but just didnt want to realize it, maybe i just pushed it out of my mind...i dont know...:frown:Im sorry for ranting because i know this isnt what this is for but i was hoping i wasnt the only one who felt like this or had a situation like this... i hope you all have a beautiful day.
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Replies
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Well keep in mind that you are your worst critic and your bf see's you for what you are, so I wouldn't question it. Also, when you stop accepting where you are and work to change that, things will change. I never accepted myself at being overweight so I am working to change it. Acceptance will harm your motivation for change. This is why setting goals is very important.
The biggest thing is, you came here to start a journey, now continue it and push harder now.0 -
I totally get that. I had lost 20lb since starting on MFP. On Sunday I got back from a week's holiday, was looking through the holiday snaps last night as got really down about how huge I still look. I can't see any difference 20lb down and it's infuriating and upsetting.
Keep your head up, keep strong. It's not a quick fix or an easy ride. But the end result will be worth it. That's what I have to keep telling myself.
Could really do with listening to my own advice today!! xx0 -
This IS what that is! This is a place where you can come and say, "Hey, I'm fat, I can't do it by myself and I need help" and actually get the help you need and want. There are people here that will help you to stay accountable and get you on the right track to change your life. And when you have a bad day, we're all here for that too. To offer support and encouragement.
A LOT of us here have had realizations, just like you have and we've made the choice to work on it and do something about it. So you've had your cry now. It's time to pull yourself up and start changing you life. You can do this!!!0 -
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nope you're not alone. but it's not about how you start, it's about how you finish. and you will loose this weight and finish your journey strong, at least you realize it's time to change and just take one day at a time0
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I have been there...every time I've started a weight loss journey it was due to a picture. I saw a picture of myself at my kids birthday party back in 2006. I literally looked at the women for about 30 seconds trying to figure out who she was since I didn't remember her being there. Of course, it was me. And I felt shocked an disgusted. I've lost 100 pounds over the last 5 years and still have a bit to go - but pictures along the way definitely help me see my progress. Cause when I look in the mirror...sometimes I see what I want to see!
Love the woman you are now, and the thin woman will show on the outside eventually. But you are the SAME person underneath, and worthy of love.0 -
Hugs to you - and it's ok.
Look, you're here, right? Ready to make changes that will improve your health, appearance and self-esteeem. Props for that. You can find a lot of stories on here (search feature) of what was the turning point for people in realizing that they must begin living differently.
It is often something like a photograph that does it.
Rather than be sad, use this as an opportunity to go forward, without looking back! You are ready, and you are worth the effort.
Blessings.0 -
I think we all get that realization at some point - whether it is a picture, a medical condition, someone saying something, etc. My realization happened last year because I saw the scale hit 200 (I am 5'3"), and I have 2 babies plus high cholestoral, diabetes, etc run in my family. I was determined. Remember, this is a process and it takes time (1-2 lb/week). I always say slow and steady wins the race. It has taken me over a year to get where I am - I just wish I could see what everyone else sees. My ex has totally destroyed my self-esteem, but I am working on it.0
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Oh Honey, you are most definitely NOT the only one out there who feels like that.
I have been morbidly obese for most of my adult life and it still amazes me when I see pictures of myself how big I've gotten!
I haven't been doing very well either! I've gained weight again, and actually saw that number that I NEVER wanted to see again. Does it stop me from eating some of the kids' halloween candy?? NOOOOOO....
But I know that I will beat this!!
And so will you!!
With your friends here at MFP, you can do it!!!!
I love you!!0 -
Definitely not alone! I did the same exact thing... you just gotta dedicate yourself to this change.0
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The most important thing is that you know. No matter where you start from, you can get there from here.
If you log your meals every day, work in some exercise, you CAN and WILL get there. Just look through the Success Stories on MFP. Others have done it, you can, too!0 -
I know how you feel. That's exactly what happened to me...About four months ago I demanded from my husband that we go with our kids and get new family photos taken...what I saw afterward was a total shock to me...I didn't feel like I looked that big. But the photo said everything. I was at least twice as wide as I thought and even had the extra chin to boot.
What happened was my first reaction? Then crying, self-pity, and then courage...I started MFP the very next day and have lost 20 Lbs. We went back to get pictures done and I didn't feel dissapointed in myself this time. BIG difference! Keep your head held high and you can accomplish anything!0 -
Hi,
I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I've been there so many times, I can't even count them. For years, I wouldn't even let people take my picture, or I'd hide behind other people, or only let someone do a face close up (you know "such a pretty face!").
Take your time to be sad and then get angry. Use those feelings to push yourself. Read some of the success stories - there are so many amazing people on this site and YOU CAN BE ONE OF THEM!!
Good luck!!0 -
Not the only one! I felt that way too, but just kept thinking it wasn't that much weight. Then my mom started eating healthier and losing weight. I went and bought some jeans and picked up a 14 and 16. The 14's fit but breathing was not really happening well, so I stayed with the 16's. My mom wanted some new jeans to and tried on the 14 and then the 16. The 14 fit her fine, if not loose. That's when I realized! I will not let myself be fatter than my mother! :sad: Now we are loosing weight together and giving each other tips and suggestions. My mom helps measure me bi-weekly and I give her weight lifting tips and recipes.
Thank goodness for my mother getting skinny at her lovely age of 68 (She's doesn't use this site, so she can't kill me for giving out her age!)
It really does show you that you can do it at any age, weight, or reason!
Feel free to add me too!
Danielle0 -
Yes...I've been there. In my mind I look a certain way, or I could look in the mirror and turn different ways to look more flattering but seeing myself in pictures is painful. I have to use that as motivation now and not give up! However, DO NOT get discouraged! Life is a journey and all you can do is learn and start again. Make today be the first day of your new path. You are not nasty! There is much more to you than what you weigh, and those that love us know that too.
You can do it!!!0 -
I think body image is a hard thing to come to terms with. I didn't "see" myself as obese, even though my BMI and the scale said I was. Then I saw a picture of myself and I was mortified. It still took me another 2 years or so to really do something about it. By that, I mean that I would lose 10-15 lbs and then fall right back off the diet I was on.
Now I am down 31 pounds and have 20 to go. I am still in the overweight category of BMI, but not by much. I saw a video of myself on vacation and was surprised at how slender I looked. People at work have been telling me that for a while now, but I couldn't see it. Still can't when I look in the mirror. That will be my next step once I reach my goal.
I'm sorry you feel so badly. You are more than a number on a scale. Don't ever forget that!0 -
well here's my thing - after this realization do you want to do something about it? If so -- GREAT!!! if not, then I believe this is where you should be crying for 3 hours straight.
Now you have the motivation to be how you want to be - you do not have any more excuses, not just for your man, but for yourself.. I know you this a lot, but we are all excellent human beings and sometimes we need a push!!
I'm wish you all of the luck in the world.. but really you do not need it... you need endurance and self motivation!!!0 -
You are not alone my dear!
I totally get what you are saying.
I have never been "tiny", even in high school I was bigger but I was fit. I played softball, did yoga and rode horses. Then I went to university and was way less active and the pounds just keep coming. Then I lost my mom to cancer just under two years ago which made me realize how little time we get on earth when we have unhealthy habits (she was a smoker for 25+ years, and died of lung cancer).
So that is when I finally got off my but to doing something about it!
Its been hard, but I know its for the best!
My boyfriend has seen me at my best and my worst, and he says that he loves me for me not how skinny I am
And he is my biggest supporter!0 -
You are far from alone on this one. Pictures are often powerful awakenings for us. It takes real commitment to denial for us NOT to see the truth the camera provides. I have had that experience of seeing the recent photo and thinking..."who is that?". However truth provides the only platform for real and honest change (even when it hurts). Use it! Let the tears and pain flow until they are diminished, then find the angle that you can use to channel that energy into achieving the beautiful vision you hold inside. You can do this.
That is your new "Before" pic, you can choose what the "after" will be!0 -
Your focus should be - I dont like me this way - it is not healthy - and set out to change your lifestyle!!!
I have been there - still go there now and again! I am working on ME (inside and out)
Its amazing when something (a picture) makes your brain click!!!
Take your new focus and disgust and make a change that will make you feel better inside and out.
OH the BF loves you for the inside and those rose color glasses are wonderful!!!0 -
Oh no! Try not to be so hard on yourself. The fact that you didn't see it shows that you have self confidence. Now that you have realized that you need to put more work into your health you will be more motivated to do so. I feel the same way almost every time I see a picture of myself. Even when people tell me I look skinny in a picture I look at it and can't believe how bad I look. I think that is something that everybody has to go throiugh at some point.
What is important is that you are ready and willing to make the changes to fix it. You can do anything you put your mind to. No more tears, keep your head up and use these feelings for good. 0 -
Every morning when you wake up, say to yourself, "this is the heaviest I will ever be" then kick butt that day. Remember how horrible you felt when you saw those pics and vow " never again". :flowerforyou:
I look forward to reading your upcoming "Success Story" here! :drinker:
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I do know how you feel. If lost half of my body weight, I'd still be obese. (Not saying that is your situation. Just that it is mine, so I know the feeling of despair.)
First of all, snap out of it. It sounds harsh, but if I could time travel, I'd go back in time to when I first got depressed over my weight and slap me. Why? Because feeling depressed only made me want to curl up on the coach with a nice eclair (or donut, or cookie...you get the idea...) and soothe myself. It made matters worse.
You are here. That is a great start. Track your food. Exercise every day. Whatever you are up to. Raking leaves count if it "leaves" you out of breath.:bigsmile:
I am more than just my body. So are you. I am a loving, loyal, and gentle person. God loves me and will help me get healthier, so long as I ask for that help and cooperate with Him. I can love myself whether I am 200 pounds overweight, 20 pounds overweight, 2 pounds overweight, or right on the money. Because I am NOT just my size. Neither are you.
Best wishes to you. If you want a loving, loyal, and gentle friend, feel free to add me.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I have been married to a wonderful lady for almost 20 years. She has struggled for much of her life with her weight but my love for her is not centered around her appearance. I have loved her with the ups and downs she has had over the years and that would never cease. Regardless of your weight you sound like a wonderful lady and I'm sure your husband loves you regardless of however many pounds you have put on. Don't let your weight demoralize you. You aren't nasty.
My wife and I decided together to do something about our weight this year and both of us began focusing on what we eat and have been very successful at it. Since late July she has lost 40 lbs and I lost 25. If you aren't happy with your weight then at least you recognize that and the ability to do something about it is within your grasp.
However, the qualify of a person is not defined by their weight but by who they are on the inside. Don't feel helpless or lost. Just be focused on doing what you need to do for your own health. Your man loves you for who you are ... just love him back.0 -
Hi, I went through a similar exp about a month ago....what I did was turn the negative energy I was feeling into positive motivation. I began to realize that I needed to gain control over my weight, make some serious lifestyle changes, develop a strong support network (Thanks to my MFP peeps) and set specific "mini" goals to shoot for. I'm a month into my journey and I've begun to see good results but my sights are still never off the target. I log all of my food intake, pre-plan my meals if going out to eat, I find the time to exercise (example - went to costco with my family and while my wife and daughter shopped I did laps around the store, 3000 steps/ 200 cal burned) and I let all of my friends know about my journey so they could support me. The choice to change is not an overnight choice it is a tough and long journey but I fully believe that together everyone can accomplish more....if you need a freind please feel free to add me. Good luck on your journey. - Kelcey0
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If you were alone, there wouldn't be so many of us on this site!
The hard part about the initial realization that makes us cry is that it seems like it happened overnight, but we know it will take a while to reverse it.
BUT, instead of punishing yourself, reward yourself for every positive step you take! Set your goals small, and then it will be easier to achieve them and feel the progress... it might take a while, but you CAN do it!0 -
It was a picture of myself that got me up off the sofa and in the gym. MFP has really made me look at food as a fuel and exercise and a way to 'clean my engine'!. I too cried and thought about all the other times I looked for a quick fix. Now I am no where near where I want to be, I still have about 40 pounds to go, but after 4 months, I am 18 pounds lighter than I was. It is slow, it is steady, I don't feel deprived, and if I had not started, the 4 months would have passed and I would still be that same weight, if not bigger. I didn't set specific goals, just decided I was going to do MFP for one year and see what happened.
Look at each day as a gift, another day to refuel your body, clean your engine, and get going. You will be surprised at how your outlook changes! I will be thinking of you!0 -
*It's not about how you start, its about how you finish*
Smartest post yet!0 -
How can you fix something if you don't know its broke? So now you know what you have to do. You have a man that loves you for you, that how he still wants you. That just goes to show you that there is so much more to you than weight. Your value isn't measured by the pounds you weight! I lost 50 lbs only to gain 20 of it back. I have now lost that 20 and now want to lose another 30. The only thing different today from yesterday is now you have a picture that you can look at when you feel like you want to eat something bad. Or don't want to exercise. You can make your goal to be next Halloween you will love the picture taken. The worst thing you can do is give in right now. You are crushed, for us there is only one thing to do, get up and face the day with a whole new resolve. Good luck and believe in yourself!0
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I rememer when I was 26 years old, 115 pounds and I would see someone who is exactly my size now and think, "Oh my goodness, look at that overweight person. That doesn't happen overnight! How she get that big and not notice and do something to prevent it? I just don't understand how people can let themselves get like that. She had to buy bigger pants! She knew she was getting heavy!"
Yep, I was THAT person. And now I'm this person. And it did happen to me. Being a mom/daughter/wife/working professional keeps you really busy. The older you get the faster time goes by too.
Until I had my daughter 8 years ago I was at a "normal" BMI, but it was tooooo thin. I young and also very active, AND had a physically demanding job back then. Fast forward to a baby and a desk job, add a few years under and BOOM, waist explosion! Who the hell is that lady in the mirror? OMG, it's me. Aaargh! I want to go back in time and slap my old self for thinking that way.
It's happened to millions of us. But it doesn't make it hurt any less when either the mirror or a photo catches you off guard. I can totally sympathize.0
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