judgmental

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  • jesskahh87
    jesskahh87 Posts: 40 Member
    I will be the first one to admit that I totally do this! I feel awful doing it & sometimes I try to think about the ''what ifs'' but when I see someone eating a salad or talking about being healthy ( aka what happens at work) and they pile on the dressing to their salad so it's actually dressing with a side of lettuce, I'm totally over it.

    & if someone can really sit at their computer reading this and say no they haven't done this then they're lying :)
  • KittyMul
    KittyMul Posts: 74 Member
    I ate really poorly for a long time so I don't think I'm in any position to judge!

    Just because I'm healthy now doesn't give me licence to go around judging other people or harping on to them about how unhealthy they are. If someone asks me for advice, I'll give it to them, but otherwise, it's not my place.

    Even if it's only in your head, most people only put down others to feel better about themselves. So what if someone puts too much dressing on their salad. Does that make you a better person because you don't? (Hint: no. You just use less salad dressing.)
  • Lauren5280
    Lauren5280 Posts: 67 Member
    Maybe it's not so much being judgemental as it is being more cognizant of exactly what they are putting into their bodies. I think the more we work on healtier nutrition and the more we log our foods and calories the more aware we become of exactly what is in the food the we used to eat (and that others are still eating). I feel the same way and wonder how people can eat the stuff they eat on a regular basis. Don't be hard on yourself for being "judgemental", it's just that you are more aware now. :)

    I find myself becoming more and more aware and it's easy to see how things can get out of control.
  • azzacca
    azzacca Posts: 126 Member
    I do this sometimes but then I think of it the other way around.

    Grocery shopping today, a skinny man came up and loaded up the belt with snack cakes, sodas, chips, beer, pizzas, and cakes. And then I look at my huge mound of veggies and fruits with eggs and bread.... I could only help but thinking "How can he be skinny and eat all that junk" and he probably thought "how can she be so fat and eat all those good foods?"...

    I'm sure it works both ways...

    I look at other people's carts too, wondering how they can feel good after eating that. Course, I then realize I never felt bad eating that stuff, but I just know that now I shouldn't. I do, however, have permission from my trainer for one sweet treat/day.
  • splackk
    splackk Posts: 163
    I don't want someone judging me for eating my ice cream and I can't fully understand judging others based on their food choices either. You see one meal that a person eats, but that doesn't give you any idea of their eating habits other times, how can you form an opinion on someone based on one meal? Okay, that meal could be healthier, does that give you any idea of their usual lifestyle?

    What would you think of me if you saw me chowing down my fries, lovingly dipped in terribly unhealthy ketchup? What if you knew that it was my first treat in three weeks because I've been having trouble keeping my weight loss going and I had finally given in after hearing my mother's abusive boyfriend broke her wrist and no one knows where she's at now?

    You can find more fulfilling activities to put in your daily life than judging others for whatever's on their plate for the moment.
  • Megan2Project
    Megan2Project Posts: 351 Member
    I catch myself doing this as well, but then I remember. I remember how I wasn't really ready for a long time, and I don't even really know what changed for me to make me successful this time.

    I think back to a few months before I started this journey. My tiny sister (less than half my weight and about 6 inches shorter than I) who is also 9 years younger than I, and single with no kids, an easy job schedule and no responsabilities tried to tell ME how to lose weight. Lets just say it did NOT go over well.

    I am always paranoid of being judged. Like if I go to a restaurant and order something healthy people might think "pfft, look at how big she is, she's must binge at home or something" or if I order a treat meal they'll think "That's right lady, pack on some MORE pounds". I just feel like in public I'll get judged no matter what I order.

    Last time I lost weight, I ended up at 149lbs and I was SO judgemental. I would look at heavier people and think "For F*** sakes, get up off the couch and do something about it". After gaining all that weight PLUS back I am hoping I'll be a little more humble with my weightloss this time. Try to be encouraging and supportive, instead of critisizing.

    One thing I know is : You can't accurately judge someone until you have truely walked in their shoes, and battled their demons. Pretty impossible to do.
  • MIMITIME
    MIMITIME Posts: 405 Member
    Ha Ha - You have what we call "reformed smoker syndrome" except it is "reformed eater syndrome" in your case. It is not a bad thing as long as you don't actually stare the people down with a bad look or say something to them. As another poster said, you are now much more aware of what you eat and how it has helped you so when you see people making the mistakes you use to makeI it is probably more like wanting to save them from themselves than it is judging them.
  • phechan3
    phechan3 Posts: 60
    When it comes to seeing what parents feed their kids with- yes, I'm with DanDan on that one. I used to work with kids and it never failed to amaze me how someone would think that giving their 4 year old one of those 99 cent bags of cheetos is a good idea. o.O And the scarier part is that the little girl finished it all! Don't get me wrong, I'm not the junk food police or anything, but at least have some moderation. :p

    Other than the pet peeve listed above, I'm more observant than judgmental. I'll see someone eating almost the whole take out container of Chinese food with 3/4 of a box of white rice and I'll remember all the times I've done that before. I wouldn't think less of the person but rather it would remind me of how easy it is to under estimate the number of calories in things.
  • gettingfit65
    gettingfit65 Posts: 349 Member
    Maybe it's not so much being judgemental as it is being more cognizant of exactly what they are putting into their bodies. I think the more we work on healtier nutrition and the more we log our foods and calories the more aware we become of exactly what is in the food the we used to eat (and that others are still eating). I feel the same way and wonder how people can eat the stuff they eat on a regular basis. Don't be hard on yourself for being "judgemental", it's just that you are more aware now. :)
  • gettingfit65
    gettingfit65 Posts: 349 Member
    I totally agree with it not being so judgmental....as being involved or aware of it now. I think like anything else once your life is affected by it, you are more aware. Like anything else. When one of our family was hit with a serious case of depression it seemed like all of sudden there were ads on tv all the time about treating depression, articles in the paper, etc., and then someone pointed out it was because I was directly affected or involved in that at the time. Same goes for anything I think....don't be hard on yourself. Your more aware and more interested I believe....
  • ONE03
    ONE03 Posts: 125 Member
    I would concentrate on yourself, not other people.

    Yep. No one's perfect.
  • 0001900
    0001900 Posts: 16
    I don't really judge. Maybe the day you catch that person is the day they've designated for their cheat day and they've already lost 100 pounds? I don't really know about their lifestyles so I can't really form an opinion. I do notice that I've started becoming more aware of the people around me now that I've become more health-oriented. Now that I put much more thought into these things, I'm noticing, "Huh, I'm the only person who bought fresh vegetables in this entire grocery line," or "Oh, I have the most defined abs out of everyone in this room." It's not really a feeling of judgement about others so much as a feeling of pride in my own work. I mean, let's face it, you have to be proud to have a healthy habit that is very difficult to build when you live in a community known for fried chicken and potato salad. I guess there's also a sense of wonder toward people who can eat red meat for several meals in a row or eat very few vegetables. I crave vegetables and fruits if I don't eat them so it's a little like, "wow, your taste buds are completely different from mine!"
  • terewilliams
    terewilliams Posts: 341 Member
    I have a super hard time with this around my family, older sister especially. She has always been heavier than me, and always self-conscious of her weight. She starves her body, and when she does eat, she has unreasonably large portions. Her diet causes her hair to fall out, she yo-yos in weight, and she doesn't feel good. It hurts me to watch what she does to her body, when with the right choices, a bit of exercise, and a decent support system she could lose pounds and feel good.
    I try to help her know what is good and what is not, but it's hard to balance between being helpful and being a judgmental-know-it-all. I know it makes her uncomfortable sometimes, and I apologize when I notice she has that "please shut up" look, but we grew up in the same household, she is as ignorant of healthy choices as I was before MFP.

    I have the same problem although my sister is younger than me and was always much small than me. Now she is much larger and on a continuous eating schedule of unhealthy food. I just try to give her gentle guidance. I know that motivation has to come from within.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    & if someone can really sit at their computer reading this and say no they haven't done this then they're lying :)
    Why do you think you know what goes through other people's minds? Is it completely inconceivable that other people think and feel differently than you do?
  • hml1976
    hml1976 Posts: 64
    Whenever I start to judge someone (and we all do, maybe not about food but about something) I try to remember that I have no idea what is going on in their life.

    Once when my children were very young I was in line at the grocery store and my 3yr old daughter was having a massive tantrum, screaming, yelling, kicking...the very height of out of control. The woman behind me in line said something like "can't you control your child? Why aren't you even doing anything?!"

    I'm sure to the group of people listening to the conversation they would have agreed with the woman criticizing me. I wasn't doing anything. What they didn't know is that we had spent that entire day at the Children's Hospital and were waiting for life or death test results for my infant son. A 3yr old tantrum was so far down on my list that day...

    So when I see overweight people and start to judge I try to remember that horrible day (baby turned out ok btw) and think...maybe their wife left them, maybe they've lost their job, maybe they just don't love themselves enough to make good decisions for their body. Heck, I've been there...we all have.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    For eating food? No. Never. Now if they are shoveling food, I may gag. But WHAT they eat? No. I could care less. I eat what I want, generally.

    Now, for using weights or weight machines, I do cringe when I see people use them incorrectly or slam the weights together.
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
    & if someone can really sit at their computer reading this and say no they haven't done this then they're lying :)
    Why do you think you know what goes through other people's minds? Is it completely inconceivable that other people think and feel differently than you do?

    Everybody judges people-- people judge people for what they eat. People judge people for judging people for what they eat. People judge people for judging people who judge people for what they eat....and on and on. Every person who criticizes someone for being judgmental, is being judgmental.

    We all judge-- it's natural.
  • crikee15
    crikee15 Posts: 155 Member
    Yes! I am a teacher and my students come to school with soda and chips for lunch...I judge their parents. How can you even think that is ok?

    ^ THIS

    It really irritates me when students come to school with only junk food to sustain them through the day...I mean, what were their parents thinking??
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
    I don't judge people because this is the lifestyle that I have chosen. I just try to encourage people when they say they want to lose weight or exercise. I do find that I am judged because of how I eat. I don't like to be judged and I won't judge anyone else.
    Don't be too hard on yourself. You are just more aware of what you are eating and what is healthy and what is not healthy. When people go out to eat, most of them have no idea that they may be having 1200 calories at one meal.
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