Lifeless, bored, and i hate my family.

someonelikemyself
someonelikemyself Posts: 192
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
SO mean my mom is obsessed with my older sister leaving me in the corner... i have no friends they're in another country and the ones hear have school and are busy i am not enrolled yet at the university , i eat like a pig because i'm at home 24/5 at least! imagine someone without any projects... homework or friends and fights with family? my life sucks i cant take it I DO NOTHING i wish i can join a team to do somethng useful and have support uughh my friends dont connect because they;re busy i would do the same if i were them at some point :(
have any tips to change what i am?!!!! i hate my self i only watch things i don't do anyhing in my liffe at the moment it's being wasted and im 18 SUPPOSEDLY YOUNG AND ACTIVE :( i have ambitions and can achieve.. NOTHING

edit: i graduated school i'm >18 :) FYI.
edit 2: i know life isn;t bad i;m better than some and some are better than me but i need ideas i hate the fact that i put things in my mind but never achieve it sucks ddid you ever go through this? not just weightloss things in general and did you ever have obstacles like transportation or family or whatever

EDIT 3 FOR plunder bunneh: DID YOU GO THROUGH THIS ANY ADVICE ON HOW TO CHANGE THIS STATE? to emphasize and summarize :)
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Replies

  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
    Hm. Maybe start taking walks? Learn the area.

    Editted after you editted to add actual questions, instead of just b*tchin about how bad you think your life is.
  • brooklynsfinestballerina
    brooklynsfinestballerina Posts: 136
    Ok I'm just gonna say this. I'm sorry you're having problems but we've all gone through those kinda things. Try having a more positive attitude. I promise your life isn't as bad as you think it is hun.
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
    ah yes, i remember those years i high school when it felt like everything was against you and that's when i turned to cooking as my outlet. i started making fatty delicious things like ribs and fried chicken n what not but after i gained like 35 lbs, i decided to start making healthier options like skinless baked chicken and mucho salad. i eventually got those lbs off and felt much better. my mom is still a pain in my *kitten* but now that im 30, it doesnt bother me so much. the older you get, the less you will stress...good luck til then
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
    Hm. Maybe start taking walks? Learn the area.

    Editted after you editted to add actual questions, instead of just b*tchin about how bad you think your life is.

    i do take walks HA! 40 minute walks walks are not enough if you do nothing other than walk,eat,and sleep of course you wouldn't know.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    Hm. Maybe start taking walks? Learn the area.

    Editted after you editted to add actual questions, instead of just b*tchin about how bad you think your life is.

    i do take walks HA! 40 minute walks walks are not enough if you do nothing other than walk,eat,and sleep of course you wouldn't know.
    "of course you wouldn't know"? if you want help, best consider changing your attitude.
  • jule_sea
    jule_sea Posts: 33
    You are the only person responsible for your life, if you don't like it, change it. Getting upset about it does nothing. Start running, start walking, take up ice skating, become a nanny, there are a million things to try in this life, just remember that you are the only one responsible if you do none of them.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
    hmm i DO COOK haha but healthy things except i don;t think i can develop more than this without classes you know? interesting and exactly this is like high school but i really thought i'd get rid of that when i graduate from it lol
  • kmbrooks15
    kmbrooks15 Posts: 941 Member
    I'm sorry you feel so badly. I'm not sure how old you are, but you may need to find an activity or sport you can join. That might help you with finding some friends.

    I'm sorry, too, that your mom treats you that way. That's not right, but I'm not sure what to tell you to do about it. Just know that no matter how your mom treats you, you are important and have things you can contribute to the world. Find a way to give back to your community (volunteer at an animal shelter or soup kitchen or other service organization).

    Good luck! Remember, too, you always have all of us here at MFP!
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
    Hm. Maybe start taking walks? Learn the area.

    Editted after you editted to add actual questions, instead of just b*tchin about how bad you think your life is.

    i do take walks HA! 40 minute walks walks are not enough if you do nothing other than walk,eat,and sleep of course you wouldn't know.
    "of course you wouldn't know"? if you want help, best consider changing your attitude.


    " instead of just b*tchin about how bad you think your life is." doesnt sound so so nice to me and i meant it casually she would have things to do i bet! because i had that attitude of hers when i used to have a life lol
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
    You are the only person responsible for your life, if you don't like it, change it. Getting upset about it does nothing. Start running, start walking, take up ice skating, become a nanny, there are a million things to try in this life, just remember that you are the only one responsible if you do none of them.

    i so believe in this!!! i used to even say the first sentence you mentioned,, the thing is ive been searching for jobs with no luck the country i live in doesnt really have teams (spiorts) and so i will search i don't know i'm not asking a question here its just that i thought id come across someone that went through this and hear what he/she has to say
    thanks!!
  • bear_nakey
    bear_nakey Posts: 340 Member
    Don't take this the wrong way, but i have no sympathy for people who are consumed in their own pity party. Everything I have ever wanted, I went out and got it. It took time, effort, and energy, but eventually my goal was accomplished, and I felt great about myself. If you really wanted to do something, you would. Period. End of story.
    But it is faaarrrr easier, and seemingly better, to go onto a website to seek sympathy, and then turn your nose at the first attempt of encouragement. It would be one thing if you took the advice offered to you with a positive heart, but it is entirely different when you start acting like someone owes you a good time.
    No, No. . . I totally and completely understand your reasoning. . . .
    you can continue playing the violin now. . . .
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
    I'm sorry you feel so badly. I'm not sure how old you are, but you may need to find an activity or sport you can join. That might help you with finding some friends.

    I'm sorry, too, that your mom treats you that way. That's not right, but I'm not sure what to tell you to do about it. Just know that no matter how your mom treats you, you are important and have things you can contribute to the world. Find a way to give back to your community (volunteer at an animal shelter or soup kitchen or other service organization).

    Good luck! Remember, too, you always have all of us here at MFP!

    she is a sweet person but i can see who she likes more. I am trying so hard to find a team thats why i gave this gave up speech up there i can't find anything to do!! i tried volunteering and failed because i didnt have transportation thanks for reminding me i should look more!!! :)!!!!!
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    Where are you from? Are there language/cultural barriers? Maybe you could seek out a group of people from your home town/country/etc.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
    Don't take this the wrong way, but i have no sympathy for people who are consumed in their own pity party. Everything I have ever wanted, I went out and got it. It took time, effort, and energy, but eventually my goal was accomplished, and I felt great about myself. If you really wanted to do something, you would. Period. End of story.
    But it is faaarrrr easier, and seemingly better, to go onto a website to seek sympathy, and then turn your nose at the first attempt of encouragement. It would be one thing if you took the advice offered to you with a positive heart, but it is entirely different when you start acting like someone owes you a good time.
    No, No. . . I totally and completely understand your reasoning. . . .
    you can continue playing the violin now. . . .


    i guess i just mentioned up there that i was hoping to hear from someone that went through this and get advice on how they got their way. You just mentioned how you went through this and overcame the obstacles ,and then started acting like the tough guy I'm sorry if this bothers you ... no one obliged you to reply. Incase you didnt read well i'll repeat, i SEARCHED, TRIED, and FAILED so far! i gave this speech because i'm DOING but it's not WORKING i think you didn;t get that part? i'm not the type to be dramatic but this is becoming a cycle and was wondering if someone went through the same thing so quit acting like the all knowing genius. Your reply is the last thing i needed ... at first i thought it's interesting but i guess not.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
    Where are you from? Are there language/cultural barriers? Maybe you could seek out a group of people from your home town/country/etc.

    hm i like your approach how you got that it has to do with obstacles :) No it's just that the financial crisis affected my family and everything changed so when i compare this phase to what it used to be i find a huge difference you know? but again i am better than some and some are better than me so thank god for what i have right now. Point is my obstacles are limited money sometimes i wouldn't go some places to ask about jobs or whatever because i can't spend that much on transportation. Fun is limited although i would need to go out everyday since it's not like i go anywhere these days.

    thanks again!
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
    Hm. Maybe start taking walks? Learn the area.

    Editted after you editted to add actual questions, instead of just b*tchin about how bad you think your life is.

    i do take walks HA! 40 minute walks walks are not enough if you do nothing other than walk,eat,and sleep of course you wouldn't know.
    "of course you wouldn't know"? if you want help, best consider changing your attitude.


    " instead of just b*tchin about how bad you think your life is." doesnt sound so so nice to me and i meant it casually she would have things to do i bet! because i had that attitude of hers when i used to have a life lol

    Grow up. You know what pisses me off more than pretty much anything? People that constantly search for pity because they think they have it so bad. You hate your family? Well, you said you are over 18, go find somewhere else to stay. You want to lose weight? Quit eating "like a pig," and make better choices. This is YOUR life, and you are the only one that can do anything about the way it goes. Don't go on pretending that that first post is what it really said, because I read it before the edit, and that is why you got the response you did, which, just for the record, is much nicer after my own edit. Because yeah, the original topic posting of your was nothing but you complaining about how bad you seem to think you have it, and nothing at all seeking advice. So no, my reply wasn't so so nice. Welcome to the internet, and get over yourself.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
    Hm. Maybe start taking walks? Learn the area.

    Editted after you editted to add actual questions, instead of just b*tchin about how bad you think your life is.

    i do take walks HA! 40 minute walks walks are not enough if you do nothing other than walk,eat,and sleep of course you wouldn't know.
    "of course you wouldn't know"? if you want help, best consider changing your attitude.


    " instead of just b*tchin about how bad you think your life is." doesnt sound so so nice to me and i meant it casually she would have things to do i bet! because i had that attitude of hers when i used to have a life lol

    Grow up. You know what pisses me off more than pretty much anything? People that constantly search for pity because they think they have it so bad. You hate your family? Well, you said you are over 18, go find somewhere else to stay. You want to lose weight? Quit eating "like a pig," and make better choices. This is YOUR life, and you are the only one that can do anything about the way it goes. Don't go on pretending that that first post is what it really said, because I read it before the edit, and that is why you got the response you did, which, just for the record, is much nicer after my own edit. Because yeah, the original topic posting of your was nothing but you complaining about how bad you seem to think you have it, and nothing at all seeking advice. So no, my reply wasn't so so nice. Welcome to the internet, and get over yourself.



    When i edited i just mentioned i'm not enrolled at the UNIVERSITY rather than SCHOOL so you got it wrong and i know after reading it it sounded weird so all i did was emphasized rather than edited then i edited again because apparently not everyone got what i meant it sounded different in my mind.. THIS HAPPENS with everyone.. You see you don't get it when i turn 18 i cant move out in my family. i want to lose weight but i overate these days i had days where i was awesome ,these are phases.
    you are right about the part where I can CHANGE eveyrrthing but my point in THIS POST is that i searched for things and failed and now i'm bored and how boredom affected my goals. ITS NATURAL I'M A HUMAN BEING i can't control myself sometimes.... i bet you can't sometimes either, so dont come judging me about how i want pity when i'm not exactly asking for IT just asking for some advice ....pity in my eyes is a tone. if your without that tone then i'd take the advice anyway ... at least people that pity me are not JUDGING and criticizing me ... and about the edit fyi ... if you didnt like what you read just dont reply... because you didnt help anyway. Thanks for asking about the walks part but i did that already.
    p.s: I don;t hate hate hate my family i just dont like them in this part of this dday
  • MikeDailyIntake
    MikeDailyIntake Posts: 133
    you remind me of someone i once knew.
  • someonelikemyself
    someonelikemyself Posts: 192
    you remind me of someone i once knew.


    hmm... do you know what happened to that someone?!!
  • MikeDailyIntake
    MikeDailyIntake Posts: 133
    Yes, i stopped talking to them.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    In the words of a very wise man who is like a father to me:

    Suck it up, princess.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    When I was much younger, we'd chain smoke cigarettes listening to The Smiths and talk about this all night. But I have a job and a family and direction and goals in life. Of course, I'm older too.

    I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I do know that the more energy and focus I put into complaining about whatever sucky situation I'm currently in, the sucky situation seems to get suckier.

    It sounds like you are in a spriral of over-analysis. Your situation may be terrible, but thinking about how terrible your situation is doesn't translate to action. Without action, your terrible situation will stay terrible.

    Volunteer. Go find an organization where you can give back to the community, help another human being, do something to get out of yourself and the prison of your own mind for an hour or so. Go read to the blind or elderly. Go help out at a soup kitchen. Find something where you can interact with other people who are less fortunate than you. Do it. Commit to it.

    It's not magic. Volunteering won't make your problems go away. But it might give you a different perspective on your problems. After that, come back to MFP and let's talk about your fitness goals and what you want here.
  • geekymom57
    geekymom57 Posts: 176 Member
    At the risk of sounding like a mom of young adults (which I am), I'm going to share some mom thoughts/questions, since these are the things that come to mind to me as a complete stranger when someone your age expresses so little optimism, hope, motivation, etc. You mentioned your family had been affected by financial issues, which certainly affects the whole family. Even when you're better off than some/many, if the prospects are now different for your future than you had grown up expecting, there is an adjustment period. I know many young adults your age or slightly older whose future was changed in a moment due to job loss, foreclosures, etc.--the "dream college" is gone and it's a local technical college, the support parents said they would be able to provide turns into loans, health insurance is gone and they can no longer afford necessary prescriptions, etc. The world won't end but it's not what it was and it can be hard to see a more positive future.

    So with all of that, my concern/question would be whether you have seen a physician and discussed your concerns/symptoms? You could be suffering from depression or some other mood disorder, or some other medical condition that also presents with depression. And again being a mom of young adults, if you are using any substances such as marijuana, alcohol, etc., those could be affecting your mood as well or exacerbating psychological issues, esp. if use is more than occasional.

    I understand people's "suck it up" response but I also know from firsthand experience with young people in my life that sometimes a kick in the pants isn't going to help solve the problem.
  • em1976
    em1976 Posts: 119 Member
    I live in an isolated town in the country,there are no social groups,no team sports and very few jobs.This also is not the country I grew up in.

    So I branched out.I found a pool to do water aerobics,I made friends online and although it can be disheartening in regards to knockbacks for work,one day that one person will give you the break you need.If you do not constantly try you will never meet that person or for that matter that goal.Google cooking recipes,you obviously have the net,you can use it to access cooking recipes,free exercise videos,the sky is the limit if your isolated.

    Pity is not something you want others to feel for you.We can choose to be positive or we can choose to let what stands in our way knock us down.Attacking those here who respond to your post is certainly not the way to endear yourself or your situation to us,but I certainly understand your frustration.

    Note:Here on this site there are countless hundreds who on a daily basis who boost me,motivate me and make me see the positive.Ive never met nor spoke to a single one aside from my sister(who I made join:P)

    Bottom line:Dont give up,keep at it,try to be positive and Im sure everything will turn around in time.
  • _blackbird
    _blackbird Posts: 27
    It sounds like you need therapy or rehab. If you can't afford it, try Meetup.com and look for depression help groups. Good luck.
  • CindiBryce
    CindiBryce Posts: 438
    SO mean my mom is obsessed with my older sister leaving me in the corner... i have no friends they're in another country and the ones hear have school and are busy i am not enrolled yet at the university , i eat like a pig because i'm at home 24/5 at least! imagine someone without any projects... homework or friends and fights with family? my life sucks i cant take it I DO NOTHING i wish i can join a team to do somethng useful and have support uughh my friends dont connect because they;re busy i would do the same if i were them at some point :(
    have any tips to change what i am?!!!! i hate my self i only watch things i don't do anyhing in my liffe at the moment it's being wasted and im 18 SUPPOSEDLY YOUNG AND ACTIVE :( i have ambitions and can achieve.. NOTHING

    edit: i graduated school i'm >18 :) FYI.
    edit 2: i know life isn;t bad i;m better than some and some are better than me but i need ideas i hate the fact that i put things in my mind but never achieve it sucks ddid you ever go through this? not just weightloss things in general and did you ever have obstacles like transportation or family or whatever

    EDIT 3 FOR plunder bunneh: DID YOU GO THROUGH THIS ANY ADVICE ON HOW TO CHANGE THIS STATE? to emphasize and summarize :)
    So, you finished high school, are older than 18, but you are not in college? Then what are you doing with your education right now? Have you applied to college and are waiting for acceptances? I am a tad confused.
    I suggest finding a project to pursue. Write a research paper and submit it to a journal or a publication. Or, take up some hobbies, for instance, learn how to play the piano. Or, better yet, get your education sorted out.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    I swear this type of drama only happens with teenage girls. Always with the pity parties. Whoa is me................try doing something constructive like volunteering at a place where under privileged children go. Or helping seniors out who need it. You are choosing to stay at home and are whining about it.
  • CindiBryce
    CindiBryce Posts: 438
    I swear this type of drama only happens with teenage girls. Always with the pity parties. Whoa is me................try doing something constructive like volunteering at a place where under privileged children go. Or helping seniors out who need it. You are choosing to stay at home and are whining about it.
    Ha ha teenage girls can be overly dramatic. And I agree, if you don't like your current situation, CHANGE IT, rather than being idle. Whining is counterproductive.
  • phechan3
    phechan3 Posts: 60
    I think everyone's entitled to do a little ranting and raving every now and then. Yes, it's not something you'd want to listen to all the time, but sometimes these things just need to be let out to make the speaker feel better. Give the OP a break. I'm sure we've ALL been there before.

    I'm sorry that you're going through such a hard time, but things will get better. What are your hobbies? If you like animals, try volunteering at an animal shelter. Volunteering of any kind is great in itself plus it looks good on resumes and college applications. Go to your local library or park and rec/beacon center and see if they have any classes to take (things like sewing, computer skills, arts, yoga etc...) These things are generally free or very cheap and would also be a handy way to meet new people. Anything with exercise in it will boost your endorphins and make you feel good. If classes or workshops aren't your thing you can go to your library again and browse the isles to find something new that is interesting. Learn a language or try cooking foods from a different culture. Try some hands on projects that you either never thought of or didn't think you would like before. (Origami, knitting, gardening etc...) Once you find something to devote your time and effort to you'll feel much better.

    I've also know how it feels like to not be the favorite. My grandmother obviously prefers my cousin because he's smart and a male. And it's not just a little favoritism either but rather a full blown 'his wants are more important than your needs' sort of thing. Uh... I don't know how much help I would be in that department though since my solution was to simply stop interacting with her. It's been working so far.

    I hope this helps! Good luck and take care! :)
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    if you're waiting to get out and go to uni, i suggest you get out there and find things to do to keep you busy.

    you say you've tried and haven't got anywhere, but that doesn't mean you stop trying.

    i moved out of home when i was 16- i couldn't live with my mum anymore. i finished 6th form, then had 8 months to wait until my uni course started. i didn't really know many people where i'd moved to, but i just got out there. i volunteered at a local preschool (even though i HATE kids- was better than doing nothing!). things were a bit slow, but when i look back they were good times.

    i say stop stressing. if you're not happy at home at the very least say something. otherwise, vote with your feet and walk.

    as far as fitness goes, i can recommend C25K. it's free, and you can fit it in around your schedule. it is a walk/run programme though. but if you're doing nothing else, then why not.

    also, look at your goals. what do you want? and what are the steps you need to get there. i always feel more motivated and in control when i'm working towards something. i flounder when i don't have a goal. even if your goal takes 15 years to achieve, that's ok. and that way you know that the stuff you're going through now is temporary, which makes it easier to deal with.

    but yeah, don't get pissy with others. on tinterwebnet there is no tone- there is only what you've written and that can be interpreted in any way at all. and you do come across as a bit of a princess!! so, if you're generally unhappy, do something. if you're just having a crap day, then chin up, gob shut and get on with it!
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