What People Say To You, or DON'T

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  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Sometimes people don't mention how much you have lost because they don't want to imply that you were overweight before. Weight can be a touchy subject so some people just steer clear of the entire conversation.

    Just keep doing what you're doing, and be happy you are successful. While pats on the back are nice, not receiving them doesn't have to impact you one way or the other.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
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    I get negative and positive comments. I don't care what anyone thinks (except MAYBE the person I'm with). I'm not doing this for anyone other than myself, and the healthy habits side for my son. But that's just me. :)
  • lrod2323
    lrod2323 Posts: 17
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    Oh DON'T GET ME STARTED on this one. Women, as a general rule are jealous creatures!!!! I have lost just short of 90 lbs now. After about 50 I would notice their eyes go up and down. It was obvious that they noticed and yet the sooooooo few would EVER comment. Even now, having gone from a size 22 to a size 10 some of them pretend not to notice. It hurt my feelings at times, infuriated me at other times. Don't get me wrong....the one's that love me and support me always commented but every now and then I would have loved to hear from those who didn't know my daily struggle with food choices and exercise. Hang in there.... focus on the people closest to you who do notice. If it's just your hubby for now, then cling to his every word. Just know in YOUR heart and mind that it all counts and it shows!

    (my reply to this was posted somewhere else lol sorry everyone, Im new on here and cant figure this out yet)
  • Aegelis
    Aegelis Posts: 237 Member
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    This reminds me of the commercial where there's a man approaching a woman at the office:

    Man: "So when are you due?"

    Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!"
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    I have to admit, to me, it sounds like some vanity. I also admit though, I have the same issue. I have worked really hard for it, and love when others notice. However, there is the flip side to the coin. Would we be equally happy if they pointed it out when we gained?

    REALLY GOOD point -- that would be reaaaaaaallly bad. Hmmm. That one's gonna stick with me.
  • evans72002
    evans72002 Posts: 89 Member
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    There's no excuse for people not noticing. I don't like when people say, "have you lost weight?" but would it kill them to say, "you look great?" You can't really take that the wrong way.
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    This reminds me of the commercial where there's a man approaching a woman at the office:

    Man: "So when are you due?"

    Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!"

    OH, don't get me started -- I used to get asked that at least 1x/month after I had my first kid. At least I haven't been asked that in about 6 months, so that's PROGRESS!! :laugh:
  • lrod2323
    lrod2323 Posts: 17
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    You are so right, very true. Especially if your "friends" are not as fit looking as you and not happy with themselves, they wont be happy with you.
  • acstansell
    acstansell Posts: 567 Member
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    I feel you - I've lost 16lbs in 50 days and unless I mention it, no one comments. I don' t know if it's because I weighed too much for it to be really noticeable yet, or if it's because I'm still wearing my old clothes (though not for much longer) or if it's because people just don't want to ask...

    It gets bad because i just want some one to ask - to notice - in some way, it helps with motivation. My husband hasn't really said much, but he is happy that I'm trying...

    Sigh...
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    I feel you - I've lost 16lbs in 50 days and unless I mention it, no one comments. I don' t know if it's because I weighed too much for it to be really noticeable yet, or if it's because I'm still wearing my old clothes (though not for much longer) or if it's because people just don't want to ask...

    It gets bad because i just want some one to ask - to notice - in some way, it helps with motivation. My husband hasn't really said much, but he is happy that I'm trying...

    Sigh...

    HANG in there. I think wearing new clothes truer to your new size (even if they're from a consignment store to get you through the transition) makes a difference -- you feel better, and I think people can see it more. Once I started getting a few pieces in my new size, it made me feel FANTASTIC.
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    There's no excuse for people not noticing. I don't like when people say, "have you lost weight?" but would it kill them to say, "you look great?" You can't really take that the wrong way.

    ^^^ THIS. :flowerforyou: Hee hee....
  • jenscot25
    jenscot25 Posts: 124 Member
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    I agree that it is a societal taboo. People don't want to hurt your feelings by saying something and being wrong.

    Funny people don't want to hurt your feelings but asking if I am pregnant is ok?? I don't understand people. I have lost about 20 pounds since September 16th and very few people have said anything. At least I'm not getting asked when my baby is due anymore!!:drinker:
  • ecmcnamee
    ecmcnamee Posts: 317 Member
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    I think the thing is too that some people don't know how friggin hard it REALLY is to drop pounds and tone so therefore they just take it for granted ... or maybe it's easy for them to lose the weight. Personally, if I know you or see you on a regular basis, I'm going to tell you that you look awesome .. I don't care who you are .. everyone wants a little acknowledgment of their effort. Heck .. I get frustrated on here with people who only care about themselves and never bother to comment on other people when they've posted something about their weight loss ... there's a whole lotta people everywhere who are just too wrapped up in themselves to give a hoot about anyone else.

    I think you rock and you look AWESOME!!! Keep it up!!
  • KiyaK
    KiyaK Posts: 519 Member
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    If people don't compliment me, I brag :blushing: I'm growing arm muscles for the first time in my life, and I whip them out about every chance I get haha. I make it into a big joke (considering how tiny my biceps still are lol) and make people laugh.
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    I think the thing is too that some people don't know how friggin hard it REALLY is to drop pounds and tone so therefore they just take it for granted ... or maybe it's easy for them to lose the weight. Personally, if I know you or see you on a regular basis, I'm going to tell you that you look awesome .. I don't care who you are .. everyone wants a little acknowledgment of their effort. Heck .. I get frustrated on here with people who only care about themselves and never bother to comment on other people when they've posted something about their weight loss ... there's a whole lotta people everywhere who are just too wrapped up in themselves to give a hoot about anyone else.

    I think you rock and you look AWESOME!!! Keep it up!!

    I have NO PROBLEM telling you YOU look good, sistah!! :flowerforyou:
    (And that, folks, is one of my awesome MFP peeps. I paid for that endorsement! :laugh: )
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    If people don't compliment me, I brag :blushing: I'm growing arm muscles for the first time in my life, and I whip them out about every chance I get haha. I make it into a big joke (considering how tiny my biceps still are lol) and make people laugh.

    I LOVE this!! Good move!!!
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    I've lost about 17 lbs. over the past year, most of it since joining on here in May. I feel FANTASTIC, am wearing sizes smaller than before I had kids, and am fitter than I've ever been (I've got BICEPS that actually show, for the first time in my life). I'm actually starting to like my body, for the first time in 40 years. BIG NSVs, all of them!

    But I have a confession -- part of me wants someone to notice all the hard work (someone besides my husband, and all my great MFP friends)!

    What's been your experience with this phenomenon? Do you think people in your life are just afraid to say something b/c they don't want to offend? Is 10-15 lbs. not enough of a difference for people who see you every day to notice? Or am I just falling prey to my own (gulp) vanity?? **embarassed to admit it might be so** :blushing:

    I think that I had lost 25 or 30 lbs. before anybody said anything about it. Now, I'm down 65 lbs. and everybody notices, some speak, some don't.
  • helen0241
    helen0241 Posts: 26
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    I would like to say .Be happy that your hubby . surports you and noticed .the people in your life that care about you are always surportive.many of my friends will tell me how great I look or you go girl . but there are those you see looking and are so called friends who say nothing and if they do it is
    followed with well It just don't matter that much to me or looks are not everthing to me they don't think about the health bentifits.Just remember you are worth it..
  • jenalderman
    jenalderman Posts: 411 Member
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    I would like to say .Be happy that your hubby . surports you and noticed .the people in your life that care about you are always surportive.many of my friends will tell me how great I look or you go girl . but there are those you see looking and are so called friends who say nothing and if they do it is
    followed with well It just don't matter that much to me or looks are not everthing to me they don't think about the health bentifits.Just remember you are worth it..

    Mom----you need to put your ticker on here and one of your new pics so people can comment on how much weight YOU"VE lost!!!
  • kristen11joy
    kristen11joy Posts: 114 Member
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    I've had two comments (besides from my family) One was from a very close friend (who has also lost a bunch of weight in the last year) and one time it came up in the conversation, and someone said (something like) "Yeah, I thought you has lost weight"
    I think it really depends on the person -- my husband is very detail-oriented and notices very small changes in people: if he knew you he would notice, and probably say something nice. Me, not so much. I seriously do not notice weight loss -- or gain!lol -- until it is pretty drastic. And then I might not think to mention it. Although, it made me feel great when someone said something to me, so I should be more sensitive to others, too!
    BTW -- you DO look great!

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