Lifeless, bored, and i hate my family.
Replies
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Ranting and whining are different. This chick's a whiner.I think everyone's entitled to do a little ranting and raving every now and then. Yes, it's not something you'd want to listen to all the time, but sometimes these things just need to be let out to make the speaker feel better. Give the OP a break. I'm sure we've ALL been there before.
I'm sorry that you're going through such a hard time, but things will get better. What are your hobbies? If you like animals, try volunteering at an animal shelter. Volunteering of any kind is great in itself plus it looks good on resumes and college applications. Go to your local library or park and rec/beacon center and see if they have any classes to take (things like sewing, computer skills, arts, yoga etc...) These things are generally free or very cheap and would also be a handy way to meet new people. Anything with exercise in it will boost your endorphins and make you feel good. If classes or workshops aren't your thing you can go to your library again and browse the isles to find something new that is interesting. Learn a language or try cooking foods from a different culture. Try some hands on projects that you either never thought of or didn't think you would like before. (Origami, knitting, gardening etc...) Once you find something to devote your time and effort to you'll feel much better.
I've also know how it feels like to not be the favorite. My grandmother obviously prefers my cousin because he's smart and a male. And it's not just a little favoritism either but rather a full blown 'his wants are more important than your needs' sort of thing. Uh... I don't know how much help I would be in that department though since my solution was to simply stop interacting with her. It's been working so far.
I hope this helps! Good luck and take care!
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You sound just like me when I was 17.. I graduated high school and the day after my final exam I was shifted countries. I had been accepted into a universary but my parents said I was not responsible enough to be left in the country unsupervised (at the time I was mad.. but now im older I see they were right). When we got to NZ I was angry, bitter, hated everything and everyone around me.. or so I thought. My problem was simple.. I hated myself. I misinterpreted comments from my Mum because I was so negative and one day I woke up and realised that its no way to waste a life.. and it really is a wasted life. You only get one chance at life sweets.. take control of it. I joined a gym which helped me loose the weight that was contributing to my self hate.. I made friends at the gym which resolved my no friends issue.. and I sought out part time work within walking distance to where i lived which gave me back the feeling that I was being productive. I got a job a couple of months later (it does take time.. so dont get disheartened if it takes you some time to find something) and it gave me back self worth. Dont waste another minute being angry and frustrated with the world.. do what you can and take control where you can. Set yourself achievable results to avoid heartache and disappointment. I wish you all the best sweets. xo0
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I have been where you are, recently. I wore myself out trying to find solutions to a problem that was mostly a result of crappy economy. I became irritable, and felt hopeless. Every suggestion made to me I replied with an "I tried", "I can't", "Nope, not working" response. The truth was that I eventually realized that no matter how many times I tried (for nearly three years), nothing would get better if I didn't keep trying. Try the same things, try new things, try to think of things that you haven't thought of before.
Honestly three years later things are still not where I want them, AT ALL. But I am working to be happy with the things I have been able to create for myself.
I also understand not having money, transportation, or friends. Living in an area where it is hard to meet people, and get around. I just had to expand my mind to include things that I thought were impossible. Walk three miles in the rain to volunteer at the library, I would not have considered, now it's something I am proud to have done. No great victory was every come by easily and this is no exception. Just think of this time as a battle, and your story of how you overcame it could be your gold medal, and the one story you get to tell later that makes someone give you an opportunity you would not have otherwise had.
Here are more suggestions: Read books (from the library) about anything and everything I have ever been interested in. Grow a garden, knit a scarf, practice yoga, paint your toenails, collect every scrap piece of cloth in your families house and sew a patch-quilt, learn how to create things from your environment. Fly a kite in a local school yard. Research anything you can online and create and action plan. Read stories about really successful people, and consider the challenges they had to overcome. Clean a room (other than your own) in your house, this may also get you some needed positive attention from your mom? Ask your neighbors if you can walk their dogs. Train for a marathon (even if you just walk it). Learn to meditate. Join an online support group for depression, and try to be supportive rather than dismissive. Find several online communities to check and read regularly. Teach yourself a hobby even if it it nothing more than paper mache.
Make a list of everything you have thought interesting and try each one for a day. Ask your neighbors, family and family friends how you can help them in their lives. Most people need a little help with something, be it organizing family pictures, or cleaning out a garage, but would not think to ask someone. Don't expect to be paid in money, but appreciation, and getting out of the house can be incredibly valuable when you are feeling the way you do.
Your post was requesting advice on how to improve your situation. Many people provided suggestions which you promptly dismissed with a reason why not. Please do not be offended at their suggestions, or at their offense to your response. Put yourself in their shoes for a second.
Although I know you are already hearing this from everyone else, the ability to change your situation right now is most dependent on you changing your point of view, not the situation you are in. Try it for a bit. I wish you the best of luck.0 -
Oh, allow me to assure you that teenage boys are equally dramatic and partake in pity parties.I swear this type of drama only happens with teenage girls. Always with the pity parties. Whoa is me................try doing something constructive like volunteering at a place where under privileged children go. Or helping seniors out who need it. You are choosing to stay at home and are whining about it.
That said, this is indeed a pity party. I don't give advice when I know it will be met with 1,300 excuses because someone is just in the mood to stay feeling poorly. Hope you improve your situation soon.0 -
Ranting and whining are different. This chick's a whiner.
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See a therapist and get medicated for depression? And move out of your parents place.0
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A few years back i was in a sinilar position. Through circumstances beyond my control i had to leave college early so didn't get my qualifications then got bullied out of my first full time job. I lived on my own at the time. I found that lack of money was a massive barrier. Unless someoen has been there and had that problem they just don't get it. If you can't drive and only use public transport that is a huge problem for a lot of people. It took a couple of years till i managed to get something. I was really lucky that a new call center was built and they pretty much hired everyone who applied so that was how i managed to get out of my slump.
If you are not going to enroll in uni, you should just keep applying for jobs and i know nowadays 75% don't even reply to you it is disheartening but if you don't apply they you are not going to get anything.
Meanwhile try googling the area where you live and volunteering and you might find something to do. Is there a goodwill shop near you? They always wants extra staff, (at least here they do). It's not a fabulous job but it is something to put on your CV and if you can show up on time for your shifts and do your job well then that is also a good reference for future employer's whatever it is yo actually want to do.
If you are not sure what you want to do, find out where your nearest careers office is and they could help you with thinking about what you want to do with your life.
So keep positive and keep trying and eventually you'll get yourself sorted. Also be patient with your mum, She might not even realise she's showing favoritism, maybe even have a quiet chat to her at some point, not in the middle of an argument and not in front of your sister.0 -
Find a job till you start school,you will have money and it will get you out of the house0
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would you like some cheese??0
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When I was much younger, we'd chain smoke cigarettes listening to The Smiths and talk about this all night. But I have a job and a family and direction and goals in life. Of course, I'm older too.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I do know that the more energy and focus I put into complaining about whatever sucky situation I'm currently in, the sucky situation seems to get suckier.
It sounds like you are in a spriral of over-analysis. Your situation may be terrible, but thinking about how terrible your situation is doesn't translate to action. Without action, your terrible situation will stay terrible.
Volunteer. Go find an organization where you can give back to the community, help another human being, do something to get out of yourself and the prison of your own mind for an hour or so. Go read to the blind or elderly. Go help out at a soup kitchen. Find something where you can interact with other people who are less fortunate than you. Do it. Commit to it.
It's not magic. Volunteering won't make your problems go away. But it might give you a different perspective on your problems. After that, come back to MFP and let's talk about your fitness goals and what you want here.
^^^this0 -
After reading some of your reasponses I had to come back.
Oh you poor poor baby,you have a roof over your head and food to eat life is so hard.
I think insted of getting a job you need to volunteer at a shelter,or food bank,soup kitchen,and get a better idea on how much worse life can be. Your bored and have so much free time well get off your butt and USE IT0 -
Don't take this the wrong way, but i have no sympathy for people who are consumed in their own pity party. Everything I have ever wanted, I went out and got it. It took time, effort, and energy, but eventually my goal was accomplished, and I felt great about myself. If you really wanted to do something, you would. Period. End of story.
But it is faaarrrr easier, and seemingly better, to go onto a website to seek sympathy, and then turn your nose at the first attempt of encouragement. It would be one thing if you took the advice offered to you with a positive heart, but it is entirely different when you start acting like someone owes you a good time.
No, No. . . I totally and completely understand your reasoning. . . .
you can continue playing the violin now. . . .
As you get older and have been through so many things in your life you do realize this is true. You are the only one who can help you. But, there are times in one's life when the hole they find themselves in (whether self dug or not) is too dark to see the way out and they need encouragment and someone to come along side and hold their hand.or sometimes give them a swift kick in the behind--whatever it takes to get them started moving. Because, that is the only way to get somewhere else is to move from where you are--That is what you have to do--is just do something, get started to a better place in your life.0 -
Sweetheart, I'm sorry you are dealing with this difficulty.
I applaud you for reaching out to others for help and support.
I would suggest reaching out in your area, the real world around you. Find someone who is older, of your same gender, whom you can trust. Picture a person whom you would like to emulate, find a person like that, and ask them for advice and friendship. This might be at a job, or career counselor at a college, or a teacher. You don't have to enroll to just have a talk with them.
These people are professionals at guidance. Not here. Some of these people aren't even amateurs at guidance.0 -
Yes, i stopped talking to them.
HAHAHAHA0 -
Why? Are they holding you prisoner?You see you don't get it when i turn 18 i cant move out in my family.
Get a job.0 -
When I was much younger, we'd chain smoke cigarettes listening to The Smiths and talk about this all night.
I knew I recognized you from my chain smoking, Morrissey loving days.0 -
I swear this type of drama only happens with teenage girls. Always with the pity parties. Whoa is me................try doing something constructive like volunteering at a place where under privileged children go. Or helping seniors out who need it. You are choosing to stay at home and are whining about it.
You've never met a high school boy in a band, have you?0 -
Don't take this the wrong way, but i have no sympathy for people who are consumed in their own pity party. Everything I have ever wanted, I went out and got it. It took time, effort, and energy, but eventually my goal was accomplished, and I felt great about myself. If you really wanted to do something, you would. Period. End of story.
But it is faaarrrr easier, and seemingly better, to go onto a website to seek sympathy, and then turn your nose at the first attempt of encouragement. It would be one thing if you took the advice offered to you with a positive heart, but it is entirely different when you start acting like someone owes you a good time.
No, No. . . I totally and completely understand your reasoning. . . .
you can continue playing the violin now. . . .
i guess i just mentioned up there that i was hoping to hear from someone that went through this and get advice on how they got their way. You just mentioned how you went through this and overcame the obstacles ,and then started acting like the tough guy I'm sorry if this bothers you ... no one obliged you to reply. Incase you didnt read well i'll repeat, i SEARCHED, TRIED, and FAILED so far! i gave this speech because i'm DOING but it's not WORKING i think you didn;t get that part? i'm not the type to be dramatic but this is becoming a cycle and was wondering if someone went through the same thing so quit acting like the all knowing genius. Your reply is the last thing i needed ... at first i thought it's interesting but i guess not.
says the all-knowing-genius: Everyone knows, especially on MFP, that the only ones who fail, are those who stop trying. . . take a moment to chew on that while I bask in by brilliance. . .0 -
Okay, so i read a lot of responses. Most were rude. This is a support website. We all have struggles. This person is 18. Not 28. It may be hard for her to just suck it up. Her parents might have never forced her or prepared her to walk in grown women shoes. We all are at different levels in life. Let us not be so quick to judge or wash our hands of someone. I'm very disheartend by some of these respones.
Young lady you gotta start somewhere. Contact your local government, community college,church, somebody , anybody. The gates won't just open for you. You've gotta start pushing. Also pray that God will hear your cry and give you peace and motivation.0 -
When I was much younger, we'd chain smoke cigarettes listening to The Smiths and talk about this all night. But I have a job and a family and direction and goals in life. Of course, I'm older too.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I do know that the more energy and focus I put into complaining about whatever sucky situation I'm currently in, the sucky situation seems to get suckier.
It sounds like you are in a spriral of over-analysis. Your situation may be terrible, but thinking about how terrible your situation is doesn't translate to action. Without action, your terrible situation will stay terrible.
Volunteer. Go find an organization where you can give back to the community, help another human being, do something to get out of yourself and the prison of your own mind for an hour or so. Go read to the blind or elderly. Go help out at a soup kitchen. Find something where you can interact with other people who are less fortunate than you. Do it. Commit to it.
It's not magic. Volunteering won't make your problems go away. But it might give you a different perspective on your problems. After that, come back to MFP and let's talk about your fitness goals and what you want here.
Oh my God you're amazing you ANALYZED the situation PERFECTLY!!!! it's exaqctly exactly what i'm feeling the prolem is i don't know how to write in words (express) i am the worst probably. and to show you how you are right i have considered volunteering and will do that .... i just wanted to tell you how right you are.0 -
At the risk of sounding like a mom of young adults (which I am), I'm going to share some mom thoughts/questions, since these are the things that come to mind to me as a complete stranger when someone your age expresses so little optimism, hope, motivation, etc. You mentioned your family had been affected by financial issues, which certainly affects the whole family. Even when you're better off than some/many, if the prospects are now different for your future than you had grown up expecting, there is an adjustment period. I know many young adults your age or slightly older whose future was changed in a moment due to job loss, foreclosures, etc.--the "dream college" is gone and it's a local technical college, the support parents said they would be able to provide turns into loans, health insurance is gone and they can no longer afford necessary prescriptions, etc. The world won't end but it's not what it was and it can be hard to see a more positive future.
So with all of that, my concern/question would be whether you have seen a physician and discussed your concerns/symptoms? You could be suffering from depression or some other mood disorder, or some other medical condition that also presents with depression. And again being a mom of young adults, if you are using any substances such as marijuana, alcohol, etc., those could be affecting your mood as well or exacerbating psychological issues, esp. if use is more than occasional.
I understand people's "suck it up" response but I also know from firsthand experience with young people in my life that sometimes a kick in the pants isn't going to help solve the problem.
I do feel like i have depression or a mood disorder i'm not saying it as if i'm happy with that, but sometimes i'm the positive one then when i hear or see something or imagine something that i don't like i become so depressed and pessimistic which is sooo weird so i'm in this analysis cycle where i analyze all my thoughts and it really becomes exhausting that i can't think right anymore and end up doing nothing if i were to do something... i get why people say suck it up it's soo natural i would do that if i were in a happy mood i get where they're coming from but we underestimate what some people go through ...i once had their strength and said suck it up to others but now it's kindaaa different i have those levels of depression . Don't worry i might be depressed or completely lost but i understand the consequences ofdrinking and drugs or even smoking yes. So even when they say suck it up they'd have to know i'm not that bad i'm just not in my best state and it's natural.0 -
i feel i need a therapist not because of any issues but because that person would be the only person i can trust to keep my thoughts and get what i mean also get my 100% attention.It sounds like you need therapy or rehab. If you can't afford it, try Meetup.com and look for depression help groups. Good luck.0 -
So, you finished high school, are older than 18, but you are not in college? Then what are you doing with your education right now? Have you applied to college and are waiting for acceptances? I am a tad confused.SO mean my mom is obsessed with my older sister leaving me in the corner... i have no friends they're in another country and the ones hear have school and are busy i am not enrolled yet at the university , i eat like a pig because i'm at home 24/5 at least! imagine someone without any projects... homework or friends and fights with family? my life sucks i cant take it I DO NOTHING i wish i can join a team to do somethng useful and have support uughh my friends dont connect because they;re busy i would do the same if i were them at some point
have any tips to change what i am?!!!! i hate my self i only watch things i don't do anyhing in my liffe at the moment it's being wasted and im 18 SUPPOSEDLY YOUNG AND ACTIVE i have ambitions and can achieve.. NOTHING
edit: i graduated school i'm >18 FYI.
edit 2: i know life isn;t bad i;m better than some and some are better than me but i need ideas i hate the fact that i put things in my mind but never achieve it sucks ddid you ever go through this? not just weightloss things in general and did you ever have obstacles like transportation or family or whatever
EDIT 3 FOR plunder bunneh: DID YOU GO THROUGH THIS ANY ADVICE ON HOW TO CHANGE THIS STATE? to emphasize and summarize
I suggest finding a project to pursue. Write a research paper and submit it to a journal or a publication. Or, take up some hobbies, for instance, learn how to play the piano. Or, better yet, get your education sorted out.
i went to college for a few semesters then dropped out cuz i had to move out of that place. Now i'm being evaluated ... but untill 3 months i can't apply to any college so it kinda sucks but i know it's a matter of time.0 -
thanks for the nice responses!! i ADMIT i suck at writing (or expressing by writing) .....the rest of you, it's like i didn't read what you said you're negative energy that i totally don't need and you act like tough guys when i know in reality you're worse than i am...i just had the guts to write it here .you have it in you and have too much pride to express that much. Anyway whatever
i explained my situation and you guys still took it as if i'm being a princess like someone ^^ mentioned earlier you don't know what the person is going through when it comes to money unless you've experienced it. I CAN'T go out because i can't afford cabs .. also it's not good to go out alone over here...what i take in a month from money would finish in a day. i just wanted ideas and different analysis i didn't want criticism, people feeling sorry for me, or attention just ideas and help basically. THANK YOU guys you reallyyy make sense to me i have been searching for things to do since i don't know this place it's a new place but i guess it's normal to go through this as some of you did go through this it's just reminding me that i'm not completely lost and it should be just a phase" you ,guys are the best.0 -
For what it's worth, I have several close family members who have OCD and their primary symptoms are anxious thoughts and obsessive worry cycles. In every case, once they began taking medication they had a huge recognition that most people don't have those constant thoughts, worries, etc., going through their heads. Not saying you have OCD, but what you described sounds so similar to what they have described that I thought I'd mention it as another possibility to cnosider.I do feel like i have depression or a mood disorder i'm not saying it as if i'm happy with that, but sometimes i'm the positive one then when i hear or see something or imagine something that i don't like i become so depressed and pessimistic which is sooo weird so i'm in this analysis cycle where i analyze all my thoughts and it really becomes exhausting that i can't think right anymore and end up doing nothing if i were to do something...0 -
Okay, so i read a lot of responses. Most were rude. This is a support website. We all have struggles. This person is 18. Not 28. It may be hard for her to just suck it up. Her parents might have never forced her or prepared her to walk in grown women shoes. We all are at different levels in life. Let us not be so quick to judge or wash our hands of someone. I'm very disheartend by some of these respones.
Young lady you gotta start somewhere. Contact your local government, community college,church, somebody , anybody. The gates won't just open for you. You've gotta start pushing. Also pray that God will hear your cry and give you peace and motivation.
You rock. 0 -
Ranting and whining are different. This chick's a whiner.I think everyone's entitled to do a little ranting and raving every now and then. Yes, it's not something you'd want to listen to all the time, but sometimes these things just need to be let out to make the speaker feel better. Give the OP a break. I'm sure we've ALL been there before.
I'm sorry that you're going through such a hard time, but things will get better. What are your hobbies? If you like animals, try volunteering at an animal shelter. Volunteering of any kind is great in itself plus it looks good on resumes and college applications. Go to your local library or park and rec/beacon center and see if they have any classes to take (things like sewing, computer skills, arts, yoga etc...) These things are generally free or very cheap and would also be a handy way to meet new people. Anything with exercise in it will boost your endorphins and make you feel good. If classes or workshops aren't your thing you can go to your library again and browse the isles to find something new that is interesting. Learn a language or try cooking foods from a different culture. Try some hands on projects that you either never thought of or didn't think you would like before. (Origami, knitting, gardening etc...) Once you find something to devote your time and effort to you'll feel much better.
I've also know how it feels like to not be the favorite. My grandmother obviously prefers my cousin because he's smart and a male. And it's not just a little favoritism either but rather a full blown 'his wants are more important than your needs' sort of thing. Uh... I don't know how much help I would be in that department though since my solution was to simply stop interacting with her. It's been working so far.
I hope this helps! Good luck and take care!
I don't think one thread is really sufficient to label someone as a whiner. And are you trying to tell me that you have NEVER whined about anything in your life? Even when things were harder than they've ever been? Not even when you were a teenager yourself? I find that hard to believe. And while we all need a reality check every now and then, I don't think ganging up on someone who 1) is going through a really rough time and 2) had no one else to talk to is really the best thing to do. I don't know you so I can't make assumptions on your history, support system, resiliency and so on, but likewise I also can't make assumptions on the OP either.0 -
For what it's worth, I have several close family members who have OCD and their primary symptoms are anxious thoughts and obsessive worry cycles. In every case, once they began taking medication they had a huge recognition that most people don't have those constant thoughts, worries, etc., going through their heads. Not saying you have OCD, but what you described sounds so similar to what they have described that I thought I'd mention it as another possibility to cnosider.I do feel like i have depression or a mood disorder i'm not saying it as if i'm happy with that, but sometimes i'm the positive one then when i hear or see something or imagine something that i don't like i become so depressed and pessimistic which is sooo weird so i'm in this analysis cycle where i analyze all my thoughts and it really becomes exhausting that i can't think right anymore and end up doing nothing if i were to do something...
you know i never thought i'd be the one having disorders or whatever i thought i was normal until this phase and what you just explained really describes me i'll research it i need more answers thank You! 0 -
Ranting and whining are different. This chick's a whiner.I think everyone's entitled to do a little ranting and raving every now and then. Yes, it's not something you'd want to listen to all the time, but sometimes these things just need to be let out to make the speaker feel better. Give the OP a break. I'm sure we've ALL been there before.
I'm sorry that you're going through such a hard time, but things will get better. What are your hobbies? If you like animals, try volunteering at an animal shelter. Volunteering of any kind is great in itself plus it looks good on resumes and college applications. Go to your local library or park and rec/beacon center and see if they have any classes to take (things like sewing, computer skills, arts, yoga etc...) These things are generally free or very cheap and would also be a handy way to meet new people. Anything with exercise in it will boost your endorphins and make you feel good. If classes or workshops aren't your thing you can go to your library again and browse the isles to find something new that is interesting. Learn a language or try cooking foods from a different culture. Try some hands on projects that you either never thought of or didn't think you would like before. (Origami, knitting, gardening etc...) Once you find something to devote your time and effort to you'll feel much better.
I've also know how it feels like to not be the favorite. My grandmother obviously prefers my cousin because he's smart and a male. And it's not just a little favoritism either but rather a full blown 'his wants are more important than your needs' sort of thing. Uh... I don't know how much help I would be in that department though since my solution was to simply stop interacting with her. It's been working so far.
I hope this helps! Good luck and take care!
I don't think one thread is really sufficient to label someone as a whiner. And are you trying to tell me that you have NEVER whined about anything in your life? Even when things were harder than they've ever been? Not even when you were a teenager yourself? I find that hard to believe. And while we all need a reality check every now and then, I don't think ganging up on someone who 1) is going through a really rough time and 2) had no one else to talk to is really the best thing to do. I don't know you so I can't make assumptions on your history, support system, resiliency and so on, but likewise I also can't make assumptions on the OP either.
i get that they think im a whiner or annoying.. i thought of others the same way when i used to be stronger but now i learned it
s not as easy or simple as we think we should really not criticize if we just dont get it ,or hate what the other side is saying.
thanks for this reply!0
This discussion has been closed.
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