Pssst! Your insecurities are showing...

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Shanna_Inc86
Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
in Motivation and Support
Logically, I knew losing weight was NOT going to fix my insecurities or magically fix my body image issues...

Now that I've lost most of the weight I wanted to lose and I'm down to that last 10-15lbs and I've been in this range for a while, it seems like a whole new list of insecurities are popping up!!! Now, like I said, logically I know this is crazy.
Finally said something to my sister (Rkamps) and she is going through the same thing.

Women....WHY do we do this?! I'm at a loss now on how to get over these lil things that I zero in on
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  • theprices
    theprices Posts: 97 Member
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    as for why - i do not know. but what i do know is i know the feeling! how unexpected that i would not be the confident (inside) woman i had envisioned!
  • Rachaelluvszipped
    Rachaelluvszipped Posts: 768 Member
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    Lol...stop over focusing.. haha, that's just our downfall.. hubby does his eye rolling to me all the time... take one day at a time... its just being human... something always seems to pop up... :tongue:
  • nikkioli
    nikkioli Posts: 4 Member
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    It's almost like the weight is a blanket that you hide under. I'm starting to notice the same thing. I want to keep losing but I'm starting to feel uncomfortable about losing more weight.
  • MisterDubs303
    MisterDubs303 Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I'm not a woman, but you just gave me a whole new thing to fear. I think our weight problems are often more of a symptom of other issues rather than just a cause. Maybe they all get unwrapped in the order we adopt them. As you get closer, you've to go back and address some things that have gotten covered up along the way. Good luck with that.
  • staceyseeger
    staceyseeger Posts: 783 Member
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    Old habits are hard to break...:noway: :noway: :noway:

    I am finally learning how to have self-confidence...It's so much more appealing to others! :wink: :wink: :wink:
  • ryvenna
    ryvenna Posts: 83 Member
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    :(

    First of all, I'm sorry, and I can relate.

    We live in a society that judges women on appearance and men on deeds-- and though many of us would like to think this doesn't hold true, that's self-deception.

    I guess the best any one of us can do is surround ourselves with positivity and find our own beauty and/or spend more time thinking about the good we do in our own lives and how we improve the lives of others.

    There are plenty of days I feel overwhelmed by my insecurity, but I just try to stop being overly critical of myself. I'm always my harshest judge >__>
  • jacobhayes1
    jacobhayes1 Posts: 28
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    Well you say this is for the girls. I do the same thing. I always want more. I hate it....
  • BecksgotBack
    BecksgotBack Posts: 385 Member
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    i hide mine well...get to know me and you'll realize i'm a freekin basket case.
  • flea2449
    flea2449 Posts: 500 Member
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    i hide mine well...get to know me and you'll realize i'm a freekin basket case.

    That's me to the tee!!!
  • juleseybaby
    juleseybaby Posts: 712 Member
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    I wish I knew why. Knowing what is probably going to happen is a good head start though. It may take some 'mental' work... positive affirmations. We need to find things we like about ourselves. If we are already taking steps to be healthy - we should be able to focus on the positive rather than dwelling on the negative. All easier said than done! I am NOT looking forward to possible loose skin issues... but I definitely AM looking forward to looking smoking hot in clothes!

    Also... based on conversations with males... I think this is not limited to females, though the men do tend to 'dwell' less.
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,142 Member
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    the more weight i lose the more i find wrong with me :/ if anyone has the answer to y women do this man id love to know it :P
  • SunshineKisses_2012
    SunshineKisses_2012 Posts: 471 Member
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    As I lose weight, I am learning how to deal with these emotions. The slow progress is very helpful so that I can deal with them as they come instead of magically becoming my UGW and not having the opportunity to deal with those issues would mess me up MAJORLY.

    Today was the first day I saw a reflection of myself and saw me at my UGW and *knew* I could do it. 31 lbs down - 69 to go! Maybe more, depends how I feel when I get there, but I remind myself that I have to take this one day at a time.
  • deniseg31
    deniseg31 Posts: 667 Member
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    I don't know why but I bet it happens to most of us. Like the other MFPeeps I hide mine well. We need to hang in there, take a step back and applaud all of our accomplishments. We need to be proud of who we are and what we are achieving.

    Good job everybody!!! I see ^^^ good numbers! :bigsmile:
  • starracer23
    starracer23 Posts: 1,011 Member
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    Before I saw a very overweight and unhealthy woman. Now I see saggy skin, saggy breasts, floppy butt....the list can go on and on.

    I think about getting plastic surgery...lift the boobs and plump them back up, tummy tuck (after 3 kiddos my belly is a mess). Then I wonder if I would be happy with that...or would I find more that needed to be "fixed".

    Then I remember the muscle that I have gained and how I know have calf muscles. I look at the pic of my back and I am excited to see the progress. My husband constantly tells me that I am beautiful, so I strive to see myself the way that he does. It's a step by step thing....

    It most likely also didn't' help that my dad would always "joke" about my weight. And his jokes were on the line of "Whoa...you need to do some sit ups and put on a shirt!! *laugh laugh*" (I was wearing a bikini on the beach...thanks a lot dad!!)
  • hojo94
    hojo94 Posts: 140 Member
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    UGH... Me too... people comment on how well you are doing, and it is like this "omg, they are looking at me... I still have a pudgy belly, they can see it... they noticed it... OMG"...
  • kya101
    kya101 Posts: 37
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    Oh, how I know what you mean!!! I've reached weight loss goals that I never even knew I wanted and for someone who was never "worried" about how I looked or what I weighed, I have a hard time looking in the mirror some days. It's insane, I know this and everyone around me tells me I'm crazy if I even mention anything about my insecurities. Part me believes it is definitely a media/societal issue that makes me feel this way, but trying to love myself has become a challenge all on it's own aside from my weight loss journey. I do take comfort in that I am not the only one who feels this way because somedays I think I must be crazy and the only one who thinks this way!!!! I beginning to believe no amount of weight loss is going to "fix" my self confidence issues, only I can love myself, nobody else can myself for me ; )
  • Dr_Farru
    Dr_Farru Posts: 63 Member
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    Logically, I knew losing weight was NOT going to fix my insecurities or magically fix my body image issues...

    Now that I've lost most of the weight I wanted to lose and I'm down to that last 10-15lbs and I've been in this range for a while, it seems like a whole new list of insecurities are popping up!!! Now, like I said, logically I know this is crazy.
    Finally said something to my sister (Rkamps) and she is going through the same thing.

    Women....WHY do we do this?! I'm at a loss now on how to get over these lil things that I zero in on

    Take all the people who make you feel insecure out of your life! That helped for me! I'm only my own worst critic now~
    And even though I'm slightly over-weight right now, I do feel confident in my own skin and with who I am~!
    Inner peace is a hard thing to find, but you need to focus on yourself and do the things that make you happy. Cut out negative people from your life! Hopefully, some of this will help you!
  • Sweet_Southern_Tea
    Sweet_Southern_Tea Posts: 63 Member
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    We are always much harder on our self than others judge us. People keep telling me to stop losing weight or I will disappear. It's really annoying to hear especially when I know I'm not that small.
  • Dr_Farru
    Dr_Farru Posts: 63 Member
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    Before I saw a very overweight and unhealthy woman. Now I see saggy skin, saggy breasts, floppy butt....the list can go on and on.

    I think about getting plastic surgery...lift the boobs and plump them back up, tummy tuck (after 3 kiddos my belly is a mess). Then I wonder if I would be happy with that...or would I find more that needed to be "fixed".

    Then I remember the muscle that I have gained and how I know have calf muscles. I look at the pic of my back and I am excited to see the progress. My husband constantly tells me that I am beautiful, so I strive to see myself the way that he does. It's a step by step thing....

    It most likely also didn't' help that my dad would always "joke" about my weight. And his jokes were on the line of "Whoa...you need to do some sit ups and put on a shirt!! *laugh laugh*" (I was wearing a bikini on the beach...thanks a lot dad!!)

    The hardest part is loving yourself! Putting yourself first, loving yourself first, and being your own best friend!
    Would we ever tell a friend how flabby or fat they look in a harsh way? No! So why do it to ourselves?
    Plastic surgery is a big No No! It won't do you any good!
    I'm a medical doctor, my Uncle wants me to specialize in Plastic surgery(where the money's at), and I refused to!
    I feel like its A disease of the mind! There is nothing wrong with anyone's body. Once you get under that knife you'll never stop, you'll always find something you want to fix and tailor! Its your body not your clothes! Wear it proudly! Tailor your clothes to compliment and present your body well, whatever weight you may be!
  • cbear017
    cbear017 Posts: 345 Member
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    I can totally relate.

    I think the most important thing you can do is to focus on something that is non-weight related, like a great fitness goal because once you reach your goal weight, what then? It's anti-climactic. The weight loss is just the beginning.

    I want to lose another 15 lbs but I don't think I'll be happier when I get there. I've got to decide to make myself happy now. Life isn't what's waiting for you when you reach your goal. It's all the moments that come before it and how you choose to spend your time NOW. Okay, that sounds cheesy but it works for me.

    Appreciate the little things you do every day that contribute toward your confidence and security. Since I've started working out I notice I take much better care of myself. I dress up, I'm more social, etc. Focus on those things and talk to someone about your insecurities. There is no shame in it :)

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