Partner Doesn't Eat The Same

It appears he is an insensitive jerk! I agree he can cook his own meals. It sounds like a bigger problem. If he regularly treats you with this type of disrespect and insensitivity you might reconsider the entire relationship. This is a character flaw.

I've got 3 daughters your age or older, so I'll tell you what I'd tell them:

This guy sounds like a jerk, and you almost certainly deserve better. We don't know your whole story from one post, obviously, but take a hard look at this relationship. Does he support you in other areas or does he regularly make fun of things you think are important? He might think something you are doing is stupid in his own mind, but a grown, well-adjusted person in love keeps their mouth shut about it!

Stop cooking separate meals for him at the VERY minimum. As someone said, you're not a short-order cook. That said, there's nothing you can't eat that he won't eat as long as you don't have some medical conditions. You might have to eat less of it than him.

My wife and family aren't dieting and I do all the cooking. Here's what I do. I've modified what I'm doing in the kitchen a bit to remove unnecessary fat and things like that. I will occasionally make an extra, starchy side for them (that I'm not going to eat) to accompany the protein and veg I've made.

And for God's sake, don't eat something if you don't like it just because it's "good for you." If hate brown rice, skip it and get your fiber and vitamin B from somewhere else.

I had a friend who was in a similar situation; she weighed around 230. She lost 100lbs. At first her boyfriend was very supportive and encouraging, at the point that he realized she was taking it very seriously he started to become very controlling demanding and very negative. It lead to a break up. Talking to a mutual friend of mine that was friends with her a hole of a boyfriend, my mutual friend pretty much hit it on the nail. He loved her at 230 because in his own little insecure world she was perfect at 230 because he saw no competition from other woman. He was attracted to her simply because in his pea sized brain he realized that he would not have to compete or be jealous of her because she had big boobs but he viewed her as "ugly". He had a sense of control over her when he became a jerk. He lost that control when she started shedding the pounds and was being gawked at by every guy (she managed to keep her breast size but lost every thing else). He became jealous and became a raging prick.

I think this is more common than we think !

I had a similar dilemma until I realised its not all about my husband! We both eat the same things I just eat smaller portions. I've slowly added healthier options to our meals and he actually really likes them now. Every so often he whinges and wants some mashed potato or something so I steam a couple of potatoes and have it with a tiny bit of sour cream and he's happy enough with that.

Ultimately, if he wont support you then tell him to make his own bloody dinner! LOL - if only it was that easy!

Try for leaner cuts of meat and healthier alternatives to staples, such as mountain bread or other wraps for corn chips in nachos, grated zucchini or carrot for pasta instead! just google 'alternative for blah blah '

Maybe talk to him about it to find out why he is trying to sabotage you & go from there. It could be he is just a jerk. Or, perhaps something else is going on, maybe he doesn't understand how you are eating & thinks it isn't healthy & needs some education. No one but him knows why he's acting how he's acting & so you need to ask him. Find out if he has a good reason.

Other ideas on here are great such as making him the same but bigger portions, with a few extras on the side perhaps. Or getting him to cook for himself. Another thing you could try is making healthy versions of some of his favourite foods. For example a cheeseburger is easy to make healthier at home - use light cheese, use wholegrain bread, make meat patties out of lean mince mixed with grated carrots and an egg then shaped and fried with a small amount of olive oil & serve with lettuce, tomato, and a side of salad; then you could have your cheeseburger open top with half the amount of cheese as him.. If you put your mind to it you can increase the healthiness of almost any food. That way you serve him his 'normal' but you get whatever you need from it.

For our family making separate meals works, but it's not easier. I have a picky 6 year old and a husband who eats no veggies, french fries with just about every meal and just not a great diet in general so he does the grilling of any protein and I'll make myself a veggie and he'll make his fries. I make DD's dinner since it's completely different then any of ours. For me this works because 1 - I cannot change him. Known him for 12 years, married for nearly 10 and this is how he is and has always been. 2 - if i ate like him I'd be 400lbs

So for us it works. I don't buy ice cream or anything. If he wants it he'll pick it up. We have no cookies either, some chips and candy. I just don't eat it. I think you need to do what works for you.

You are not a short-order cook. If it's stressing you out and you're the one doing all of the cooking, tell him he can eat what you make, or fix something for himself.

As for the eating junk in front of you - maybe he doesn't realize that it makes it difficult for you? Try talking to him and just telling him that his support would help make this an easier journey for you, and you'd appreciate it if he could eat his chocolate/cake/ice cream out of sight from you.

I agree with all of this. I don't prepare healthy food just because I like being thin. I prepare healthy food because it's healthy.

I can't quite wrap my head aroung the mentality of eating junk food just because you are not fat.

Last time I asked For his support with me getting into shape he made me cry. He basically said its my stupid idea to get into shape so it's my job to do it by myself.

He knows how eating chocolate ect in front of me makes me feel as he'll say stuff like "haha you can't eat this" ect.

sounds like a ****. Tell him to cook his own food & ditch him!

Agreed. He is not a partner, he is a *kitten*.

Last time I asked For his support with me getting into shape he made me cry. He basically said its my stupid idea to get into shape so it's my job to do it by myself.

He knows how eating chocolate ect in front of me makes me feel as he'll say stuff like "haha you can't eat this" ect.

My what a loving and supportive boyfriend you have there . He sounds like a heel. It also sounds like he's trying to sabotage you so you don't lose weight. I'm not at all trying to criticize you, but why do you put up with this treatment?

My boyfriend doesn't care about losing weight, but he gladly eats everything I cook and never taunts me about tempting foods. Yes, he'll offer me what he's eating, but all I have to do is say no thank you and he drops it.

Something has got to change.

Last time I asked For his support with me getting into shape he made me cry. He basically said its my stupid idea to get into shape so it's my job to do it by myself.

He knows how eating chocolate ect in front of me makes me feel as he'll say stuff like "haha you can't eat this" ect.

Wow, he does sound like an immature *kitten*. If he's this unsupportive about this, I can only imagine how unsupportive he is about other things that are important to you. You are young- don't settle for someone who makes you unhappy and doesn't have your best interest. Sounds like you need to take a serious look at this guy- some guys don't change for the better as time goes on.....sorry to be a downer, but I was married to one of these guys.

I am sorry to hear that your partener is providing no support in your decision to be healthy. I have been with a person like that before and it really was not that he didn't want to support me in my desire to be healthy but he had low self esteem and thought if I improved myself he would not be good enough or I would leave him. Any reason is not good enough for you to have to put up with that. I am not going to tell you to ditch your partener, I know how hard that is, but evaluate how that person makes you feel about yourself, you at least owe yourself that much. As far as having to make two meals...well, my boyfriend could care less about being healthy and needs to lose zero pounds, one thing we do is trade off. I make my good for you meals one night and either he eats or he doesn't and I make the not so good for you meals he likes the next night. On the nights we eat his way, I snack on veggies, fruits, or nuts while I am cooking. That way I get fuller on the good stuff and eat less of the bad stuff. If I have leftovers from healthy nights I will freeze them for a nonhealthy night. The only other suggestion (I am sorry if I offend you) is to pray for that situation to improve. I will be praying for you and I hope this helps.
Oh and as far as him eating the tempting stuff in front of you, I would not say anything else about. He has shown he does not respect you and your feelings, so I would just leave the room while he eats it. Read a book, meditate, paint your nails, etc. Do something to get your mind off what he is eating and when he is finished go back in there. If he asks, just tell him you didn't want to feel hurt by his actions or be tempted into giving in.