nay sayer?

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farmgirlsuz
farmgirlsuz Posts: 351 Member
in Motivation and Support
Not sure how to take this, but I had a coworker tell me today that I have lost too much weight and I don't even look good any more. I was shocked and didn't know what to say! For the record, I am 5'7" 154 lbs. which I don't think is TOO thin and honestly just barely in the healthy BMI for my height!

Is she:
a) just used to seeing me fat (I have worked with her for 5 years and lost 60 pounds in the past 10 months)
b) being painfully honest (she has a tendency to just say what she thinks without concern for the other person and honestly my skin IS a little baggy on my face and neck from years of being stretched.)
c) jealous? (she herself is probably 75-100 pounds overweight herself)

Just curious how to respond to such a comment.

Replies

  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
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    I wish you had burst into tears and made her feel like ****.

    You look wonderful by the way! :drinker:
  • WendyFitMomCHANGED
    WendyFitMomCHANGED Posts: 311 Member
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    I choose C. Being that you're at the top range of your BMI, just sounds like she wishes she could lose like you have.
  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
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    Hmmm....

    Great job!! :) And you are probably right about her feeling "left out" since your success is so apparent. And maybe a bit that she's known you for a while and you do look different to her.

    You could also bring low fat treats to the office...people love that during the holidays!!!
  • wildkatt7
    wildkatt7 Posts: 163 Member
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    I cannot speak for her, but I will say that if you are basing your health on the government's BMI and not how you feel and look then there is indeed a problem. For instance... I am about 5'9.5". the government says I should way between 160 and 185... but when I was 17, I weighed 200 pounds and was indeed skin and bones with doctors always telling me I needed to put on weight. My bone structure is such that I do not fit in to the government box of what they say I should weigh. A lot of times people push beyond what is healthy to fit into someone else's idea, government or friend or family. So what I suggest, take her comments as her honest assessment and then decide if you look healthy and then go from there. If you feel you look and are healthy, then it doesn't matter what the government or your coworker says...

    and congrats on the 60 pounds lost
  • SandyCurrier
    SandyCurrier Posts: 50
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    Who knows what she is thinking...you could come out and ask her what that meant, and why she thinks that way, or do what I would do, and just smile..she could be a bit envious, if you say she is overweight.
    Great goinig on your loss, dont let other people bring you down, Good Contiued work and luck to you!
  • piebird79
    piebird79 Posts: 201 Member
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    It sounds like she's jealous to me. I wouldn't worry about it or feel the need to justify myself to her if I were you.
  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
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    Not sure how to take this, but I had a coworker tell me today that I have lost too much weight and I don't even look good any more. I was shocked and didn't know what to say!
    You need a do-over and next time say "Gee, that's not what your husband said." :devil:
  • susaneec
    susaneec Posts: 72 Member
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    Another person's opinion doesn't matter as much as your own. Look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Think about how you feel. Do you like it? Do you feel happier and healthier? If you say yes to those questions, then her opinion is irrelevant.

    She may be jealous. She may just be stating her opinion. She may like more meat on a girl. Whatever her reasons, if she is polite about it you can be polite right back. If she isn't, just be firm in stating you like the way you are and then move on to a different subject.
  • HannahMarieMcDougald
    HannahMarieMcDougald Posts: 544
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    -shakes head- She should have kept her dang mouth shut! How rude..
  • MitchFletcher
    MitchFletcher Posts: 29
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    I would say a combination of A and C. I lost a lot of weight back in 2004 and ended up at 165lb. maybe that is a little small for a 6 foot tall man but I was still in the so-called healthy bmi range. Everyone that I knew intimately would insult me, saying that I looked like a crackhead or an AIDS patient. People that met me after the weight loss though that I looked like an athlete. It takes a little time for intimate friends and relations to get used to the small you that's all. You look great to me BTW. Don't worry about it, they will get used to your new size, if you keep it off long enough. good luck and keep doing it for YOU.
  • DrPepperLeigh74
    DrPepperLeigh74 Posts: 236 Member
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    I would tend to believe that it is truly jealousy if she is that much overweight herself. I think you look super and I tend not to know what to say in situations like that either but I think it would be something along the lines of I feel really good and I am doing this to be healthy and be in the correct range BMI. I would really want to stick my tongue out at her to though....LOL.... You are doing this for yourself so just smile and keep on going cause you are doing awesome!!!! Maybe one day she will wake up and find fitpal..LOL...
  • rockerbabyy
    rockerbabyy Posts: 2,258 Member
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    I cannot speak for her, but I will say that if you are basing your health on the government's BMI and not how you feel and look then there is indeed a problem. For instance... I am about 5'9.5". the government says I should way between 160 and 185... but when I was 17, I weighed 200 pounds and was indeed skin and bones with doctors always telling me I needed to put on weight. My bone structure is such that I do not fit in to the government box of what they say I should weigh. A lot of times people push beyond what is healthy to fit into someone else's idea, government or friend or family. So what I suggest, take her comments as her honest assessment and then decide if you look healthy and then go from there. If you feel you look and are healthy, then it doesn't matter what the government or your coworker says...

    and congrats on the 60 pounds lost
    i agree with this 100% ! my mom tries to go by BMI and she looks skeleton like, skin and bones. lost weight without exercising but still wants to lose more to be at the bottom of the bmi healthy range.
  • shellybarbal
    shellybarbal Posts: 42
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    Totally jealous!! I had SOOO many people tell me that when I lost 100 pounds. I was in the normal BMI range. They were ALL people who were overweight. People get jealous and try to put you down because it makes them feel better. Don't let it get to you!
  • ycc1964
    ycc1964 Posts: 699 Member
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    Sometimes saying nothing is the best response, some people you just need to ignore.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
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    A and C, mostly likely, with a little bit of uncouth added in. IMO, you look amazing. Ignore the negativity; you've done a great job. Congrats!
  • pammy0505
    pammy0505 Posts: 2 Member
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    First....Congratulations on your journey! You should be very proud of yourself; I would LOVE to be 154 and I'm 5'6"! (6lbs down from 185) Now, your co-worker sounds like she doesn't have much of a "filter" but honestly, she's out of her comfort zone now when she sees you. Maybe she sees what she NEEDS to do and can't face it now for whatever reason. In any event, good luck on reaching your goal. Amazing job!
  • jayliospecky
    jayliospecky Posts: 25,022 Member
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    I have a family member who is alway overanalyzing people's faces and asking people if they're feeling ill. This does not make me feel good! Ever! But people are people and will sometimes say things without thinking or caring how it makes someone else feel. You need to block out people like that. She may have other issues of her own, whether it's a bit of jealousy or something else, but you need to ignore her hurtful comments. You are beautiful and healthy and YOU need to believe it.
  • Puffins1958
    Puffins1958 Posts: 614 Member
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    I'd say the bottom line is....she is JEALOUS of youand your success in your weight loss journey. You look FANTASTIC, and she probably can't stand it!!!!

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    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter
  • slnash
    slnash Posts: 16
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    I think it sounds like it is a little of all three. Seeing you be successful in your attempt to lose weight has probably brought out her insecurities. You could have responded, "But I feel so much better" or "I have so much more energy." As far as her being "painfully honest" - she was simply being rude. Jealousy does weird things to people. Maybe she will come around, but if she doesn't, don't sweat it too much. Just be happy being the "new and improved" you :happy:

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