Need some advice

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blum0133
blum0133 Posts: 88
in Health and Weight Loss
Both my mom and stepdad are very overweight. My stepdad weighs 300 pounds and my mom is around 200. They tried doing nutrisystem last year and they did ok on that. They lost weight but stopped the diet in Jan and have now gained a lot of it back. Last night they ordered a large Papa murpheys pizza, and ate 3/4 of it and drank beer. This poor eating is not something out of the ordernary. I am a super in shape person and I would think that seeing how I live would motivate them to eat well and be healthy but it hasnt. I have a REALLY hard time talking to them about how much their poor lifestyle just drives me NUTS and I want them to be healthy!! Can someone please give me some advice as to what to do?

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  • blum0133
    blum0133 Posts: 88
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    Both my mom and stepdad are very overweight. My stepdad weighs 300 pounds and my mom is around 200. They tried doing nutrisystem last year and they did ok on that. They lost weight but stopped the diet in Jan and have now gained a lot of it back. Last night they ordered a large Papa murpheys pizza, and ate 3/4 of it and drank beer. This poor eating is not something out of the ordernary. I am a super in shape person and I would think that seeing how I live would motivate them to eat well and be healthy but it hasnt. I have a REALLY hard time talking to them about how much their poor lifestyle just drives me NUTS and I want them to be healthy!! Can someone please give me some advice as to what to do?
  • Shanimal84
    Shanimal84 Posts: 34
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    The bad eating and refusal to accept a positive change sounds a lot like me. I'm surprised that they don't have health issues at their weight...

    Since you are in shape, my recommendation would be to invite them to a fun activity. Like a nice bike ride or a brisk walk in the park. Anything that is social and activity related is a positive thing. As far as making them eat healthier... you know sometimes you have to hit them in the pocket book. Calculate how much money they are WASTING on delivery pizza and beer (or any of their other favorite "treats"). Show them how much they could be saving my making their own healthy pizza at home loaded with fresh veggies and cheese.

    In my personal experience, a lot of people who carry extra weight are depressed. Sometimes they're not aware of their self-worth. Make sure you are approaching it in a sensitive manner, but be firm that you want them to be around for special occasions; i.e. your wedding, grandchildren, silver anniversaries.

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  • blum0133
    blum0133 Posts: 88
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    Thank you. Those are some great ideas. Usually when we do family things it is going out to eat or holiday dinners....stuff that revolves around food and them not eating well! We are crunching for money, just like everyone else out there, so the money issue is a great one too. I really appreciate your response :smile:
  • applepie
    applepie Posts: 105 Member
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    Hmmm...this is a hard one. I hope you get some good advice. Sometimes it takes people longer to see how their lifestyle is taking over. I know it did for me. But once I did..Boom! Things changed. I wouldn't give up though. You love them, and your reasoning for wanting them to be healthy is a good one..out of concern and love. Hang in there. :D
  • applepie
    applepie Posts: 105 Member
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    Hmmm...this is a hard one. I hope you get some good advice. Sometimes it takes people longer to see how their lifestyle is taking over. I know it did for me. But once I did..Boom! Things changed. I wouldn't give up though. You love them, and your reasoning for wanting them to be healthy is a good one..out of concern and love. Hang in there. :D
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,108 Member
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    As difficult as it is to see someone you love doing self-destructive things, you can't do anything to change them. You can only live your life.

    You could go to a al-anon meeting. Over-eaters Anonymous may have a support group for family or friends of obese people.
  • tahmed
    tahmed Posts: 409 Member
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    Unfortunetly I agree. I am in a similar situation with my family and my husband. Even though they see the changes in me, they don't want to do it themselves. To be honest, they really need to decied on their own. I know for me, I tried many times to loose weight without success. I just wasn't 100% dedicated. Until they get to the point of wanting it, there isn't much you can do besides loving them the way they are.
  • blum0133
    blum0133 Posts: 88
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    Thank you so much everyone. I have really been feeling like they really need to figure all this out on their own. My stepdad is 60 and my mom is 55. I would think they would have gotten this on their own!! I feel like there really is only so much I can do, but I did confront my mom on it a bit today and will keep gradually trying to talk to her about it more and more. Thanks everyone :smile:
  • GIBride01
    GIBride01 Posts: 328 Member
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    I listen to Dave Ramsey, and he talks about the 'Powdered Butt Syndrome'..basically you don't want to take advice from someone once you have powdered their butt. Try taking them some healthier alternatives, maybe make a pizza or get the Papa Murphys Delite pizza when they get another one and share. Some of your good habits may wear off on them if you present things as something cool you have discovered and want to share vs this is how you are doing things wrong. Hope that helps!
  • flcaoh
    flcaoh Posts: 444
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    I completely agree with the 'they have to want/do it on their own". Until they want it 100%, nothing you do can really change them. My mom is a mountain-dew-aholic (a case a day - NO exaggeration) and a chain smoker. My grandfather even died of lung cancer 8 years ago yet every single member of my extended family over the age of 14 (I am LITERALLY the ONLY one in my entire adult family that doesn't smoke) smokes at least a pack a day.

    When I try to talk to my family (nicely) about their health they get defensive and shut down. Just try to be the best example you can be. If they've already tried to change things, chances are they will eventually come around. But not until they are fully ready to make a significant change in their lives. Good luck and kudos to you for being in such great shape and for not letting their bad habits influence you :drinker:

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