Trying to lose weight when others are not....

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smallermissy
smallermissy Posts: 5
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anybody else struggle with trying to lose weight when others in the house are not? My daughter has already lost 60 pounds and she looks great. My husband is not interested in losing weight but both are supportive. I cook the meals so I cook the meat to suit me and my diet and then I fix me some good veggies and them potatoes and mac and cheese because that is what they want. We have a standing joke...whats for dinner...chicken REALLY MOM WE EAT CHICKEN ALL THE TIME :-) hehe chicken is so versatile and i cook it many different ways. It is hard to find stuff to cook that they will eat because they are picky and things that are healthy for me. Throw in the fact they want to eat out at least once a week...I like a night off from cooking but it isn't worth it when you go out to eat and feel guilty because you know you over ate or made poor choices. It's just hard!

I was just curious if anybody else struggled with family issues like this....
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Replies

  • spennato
    spennato Posts: 360 Member
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    Just keep doing what you are doing eventually everyone will be on board!!! :smile:
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    It's not necessarily they aren't trying to lose weight but my parents are trying the whole "no carb/bread/pasta" thing. I know though that I need those carbs just the multigrain ones for long workouts.
    But they will fill up on donuts, choc, lollies, every night.
    And insist bread and fruit will make me fat. Lol , seriously?
  • walkingfeetxoxo
    walkingfeetxoxo Posts: 8
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    yup, all the time your not the only one lol! actually im 19 and im living at home right now, im surrounded by my 3 younger bros and my parents, so they cook the dinners . the dinners are fine i eat them, count my calories but i have no control over what goes in the shopping trolley only small choices, its soo annoying :( super hard to avoid snacking on biscuits and all the nice things because i cant exactly stop them from having them just because im on a diet as they have no interest in what im doin because they can eat loads and not gain a thing lol :(
  • 1goodymom67
    1goodymom67 Posts: 125
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    In my family I am the only one trying to get healthy. One of my son's needs to gain weight the other one is just fine, and then dh chooses not lose or not to anything. They are at my mercy for food though :laugh: we eat alot of ground turkey and chicken. My hubby says if it has feathers then my wife will make it. I'll be honest if I really had it my way we would eat more veggies (but there may be a revolt!!) and not so much meat. With all that said I exercise quite a bit so if I eat a little to much I don't gain, it keeps me in line.
  • Scoobies87
    Scoobies87 Posts: 379
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    Yes! It is the bain of my diet! At least you are in charge of the meals so you have some control over it. I live at home and my Mum prepares the meals. Given that I am the only on on a diet, the meals are not always healthy. She also likes to bake cakes and bring home chocolate, which is so frustrating because having it in the house is too tempting.

    I get so so annoyed with it :(
  • Smelerz
    Smelerz Posts: 115 Member
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    My husband was not on board with all the food changes in the house when I started losing weight in april but he sees how happy I am (25lbs down 1/2 was to my goal) so if he wants to eat out he does it friday at lunch or we go to places that have healthy choices with nutrition listed on the menu. I slowly asked him to change one thing at a time so he gave up granola bars in his lunch for trail mix which is great b/c i dont care for it and its a healthier fat for him. He also joined a hockey team this winter b/c he said that since i am always out at classes or with my trainer he wanted a sport to do. How long have you been trying to eat healthier with the family? give it time make little changes and they should come around
  • daylewinslow
    daylewinslow Posts: 14
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    i feel your pain! last week i was taking out some kids who all clamored to go to taco bell - so i thought i'd be smart and use MFP to check out the menu and the calories for the choices - i actually found a chicken fiesta burrito for 300 calories and the pinto beans with cheese were like 120 - so i felt ok about a fast food place - til i got home that night and entered it in my menu and saw at the total that i had consumed over 2,000 mg of sodium....wow....i hadn't even thought about that...what a lousy thing to do to your body!!! so i guess fast food chains are still off my list -- but what i do when we get out - which we end up doing about 3 x a wk - is make a good food choice and either divide the food with someone there or divide it when it comes and have them put half in a to-go box and i have it the next day for lunch. i try to save about 600 calories for my "going out" meal which means i can order something that is over 1,000 cals if i only eat half - so far that's working out for me..my fav going out meal is from our local italian place - 1 single slice of bianca pizza with a small greek salad (dressing on side) - under 600 cals - and i feel "rich" with great flavors - hang in there - you're doing a great job!
  • asltiffm
    asltiffm Posts: 521 Member
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    I am so with you! My husband has zero desire to eat healthy. Our food tastes couldn't be much different. So either he likes a meal or I do but rarely both of us. He loves to eat out and I don't. He brings home dessert all the time even though I have given up sugar. He does put it in a drawer so it's out of my sight but I know he has 5 different things in there right now. It can be very difficult sticking to any diet with him but I know that I don't feel good and if he won't help, I have to do whatever it takes.

    And it's possible that they will never be on board. I have been trying to eat better for 10 years and he isn't one but closer to being on board. In fact, he's had cancer twice and still isn't on board. Sometimes, you just have to be strong on your own...but that's why MFP is such a great place. I can get support here that I can't find from my husband.
  • 226Muriel
    226Muriel Posts: 137 Member
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    Yours is my story to a tee....There are only two of us...My mate enjoys eating to the max but he totally supports my new health life-style.

    It is a personal challenge to me daily to prepare very specially planned healthy meals with special consideration of his food needs too...He doesn't feel deprived at all and I enjoy watching him dig in to the "good stuff" as he lightly hits the bad.

    Hope this helps.
  • ninelives58
    ninelives58 Posts: 160 Member
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    Yep, my hubby is the cook in our house and he does a pretty good job at cooking healthy, partly because he's gotten used to cooking gluten free, but his idea of a portion is ridiculous. Sometimes I won't even have some of each thing that he has made because it's just too much. I just wrap it up and save it for another day. I didn't used to do that and that's a big part of what got me 40 lbs overweight. And when we go out to eat, it's an appetizer and a full meal for him. I get a carry out box with my meal and wrap up half before I even start eating. So now that I've quit blaming him for being a bad influence and realized that I'm in total control of what I eat (and don't eat), it feels great! I just hope I can be a good influence on him, because he could sure stand to lose some lbs.
  • stevwil41
    stevwil41 Posts: 608 Member
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    It sounds like you've got a pretty good system going at home even if it is a little more work. Some people talk about making 2 completely seperate meals which I think is excessive. As for eating out once a week, that's not unrealistic. If it's something your husband and daughter enjoy, it wouldn't be fair to them to cut it out completely either. Do you research ahead of time and make better choices or don't. One meal a week is not going to completely ruin eating healthy the rest of the week. You've got to live:)
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
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    It is ridiculous to expect the whole family to eat the same food at the same portions. Granted, it is easier to go grocery shopping if you are making everyone the same thing, but there is no rule that says you have to cook for your husband or sit down and eat dinner with the whole family.

    My husband and I eat dinner together maybe two or three times a week. The rest of the time, we each feed ourselves whatever we want and whatever portions we want. We are both in total control of our eating habits.

    There have been times in the past that he wanted to lose weight, and I was close enough to a healthy weight that I didn't care. At that point in my life, I hid my cookies from him out of respect, but I still ate cookies.
  • Xtina_Beba
    Xtina_Beba Posts: 218
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    I'm on the same boat! I'm an Pescatarian/Paleo Enthusiast and my husband is on a strict diet too however, he still eats grains, beans, & some lean meats while I don't. As for my sons, well they're growing boys so I need to supply them with all the correct amount of macro nutrients (however I do not give them whole milk, cheese, grains, non-organic or processed foods) .
    So I know where you're coming from; having to make 3 different meals most of the time (not all the time) but in time you'll get use to it.
  • leann74016
    leann74016 Posts: 242 Member
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    I def know what your going through! My husband isn't on board at all with me and there is a lot of tempting foods in my house. I just do my best to stay away from the bad stuff unless I have extra calories I can eat. Pepsi is my weakness so I try my best not to drink it but have a lot more this week :/ foods are hard too. Like you I make dinner a lot and my husband doesn't always like what I am having so I make him something different and I also have a 2 yr old so def he won't always eat what I'm having. I've just made my mind up I'm gonna lose weight and so far have lost 7 lbs! Keep doing what your doing it may be hard but so worth it when you see the scale numbers getting smaller!!
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
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    I feel your pain. My roommates are not interested in eating healthy, luckily I don't have to cook for them but them constantly ragging on me for watching my diet gets exhausting. We start drinking Friday night and I'm logging every shot while they ***** at me about it, not fun.
  • angmora
    angmora Posts: 22
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    Yes, I try to eat fruit, whole wheat, veggies and lean. Hub wants fried chicken and meat and large variety of foods. Toddler wants cereal and crackers and pretzels-although he mainly eats what I eat he wants all the bread stuff in addition. Makes for a very full fridge. And of course while I cook other things I sample for flavor and texture........ I think this is one of the reasons I gained all the weight in the first place!! I just pre-make my lunch in my head so I know what is mine. And I try to cut up veggies or fruit first so Im not starving and taking more than just a small sample of the stuff that I (well anyone, really) shouldn't be eating. Best of luck to you!!
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    If it's possible, have your husband cook for himself and your daughter. That or make one meal that you want and if they don't like it, they can find something else themselves.
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
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    I definitely feel your pain there. I am 24 and have moved back in with the parental units since graduating college. While at school, I'd packed on a good bit of weight, and so it was once I'd returned home that I realized I needed a change. This is where the weight loss journey started. Originally, my meals came from whatever mom decided to cook---I'd just limit my portions. Now I shop for myself, and make healthier alternatives to the food that she makes.

    Sounds simple, right? Well here's where things get whacky. I've been trying to help my family get on the healthier lifestyle bandwagon. I'm not saying they'd have to give up their way of eating in any case. My mom always pretends that just because she's thin, she can eat everything fatty because, "She could use some fat on her bones". My brother is a picky eater who occasionally gets upset if I make a healthier pizza for MYSELF, but doesn't make it to his liking (meaning I add roasted veggies and at times, very little sauce). And as for my dad? Well, he's just an eating machine who at times says, 'I don't care about calories!", but once he sees me indulging in something healthier without having offered him one, he whines and uses the, 'You don't care at all about MY calorie intake!".

    The way I see it, living with people who aren't on the ball along with you has been more of a challenge than actually striving to LOSE the weight.
  • anbegley
    anbegley Posts: 163 Member
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    When I started I was doing it by myself. My husband was very supportive, but not in a place, mentally, to do this as well. I did NOT cook different sides for him or the kids. They ate what I made. (I would have wanted the extra sides as well as the ones I was eating and I did not have have and sometimes still do not have have the control I should around certain food items). The kids didn't mind (5 yo is a GREAT eater and 2 yo so picky, hard to say). But, after about 4 months, my husband, by association, lost about 10 pounds. He was then at a place where he wanted to join me. He has been on this ride with me since April. I have lost 54 pounds and he 52 (I think).
    Keep doing what you are doing. Stop making the extra food and maybe they will hop on board (assuming they need to).
    Good luck
  • happy_travels
    happy_travels Posts: 51 Member
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    What your doing right now sounds great! Slowly but surely they may come more on board. I think the idea of going out to eat with the family once a week is a good one. One meal off plan definitely won't set you back. Better yet, make it a part of your plan to eat out once a week and then there is no guilty feelings :)

    My boyfriend eats what ever I make him. Since we have been together he has learned a lot about food. Unfortunately, he has lost too much weight eating what I make! lol. Now he lifts weights and wants to do a healthy bulk. He eats the meals I make still but drinks glasses of milk aaallllllll day to get extra calories.

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