Why would a guy do this? Angry and creeped out :S

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24

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  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    You have been talking about this guy for weeks now. His behavior is getting weirder all the time. When are you going to leave this jerk alone?
  • jskaggs1971
    jskaggs1971 Posts: 371 Member
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    Speaking as a guy, I think you need to cut him off. He doesn't respect you, he doesn't respect your time, and he's shown that he can't even meet a simple commitment like "meet here at this time." Don't be his doormat.

    He's a loser. Kick him off your Facebook feed (since that's his only line of communication), and if he asks you, tell him you've got better things to do than wait around for him to show up for something.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    The first time someone ditched me would be the last time I would make plans with them.

    Look at it from his point of view. Why should he treat you any better? You obviously will stick around no matter what he does. No reason for him to change.
  • DarkAngel525
    DarkAngel525 Posts: 135
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    ...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o

    I mean this is the most respectful way possible, but it sounds like you may be misreading certain people's attention. I could be totally wrong, but I had a stalker once and it was a very scary and terrible experience. To say that you've been 'stalked so much' and have almost been a victim of sexual assault is incredibly serious and I'm sure traumatic, but maybe you need to cool it with these people if that is where it is ending up. My stalker was a complete stranger/neighbor, but I know if I had numerous stalkers, I'd be a bit more cautious of who I let in. Good luck!
  • ket_the_jet
    ket_the_jet Posts: 1,257 Member
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    Unsubscribe.
    -wtk
  • LittleVikki
    LittleVikki Posts: 88 Member
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    I would move on and find someone more worthy of your time. You deserve better :)
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    Ditch the flake!
  • Snakey74
    Snakey74 Posts: 276 Member
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    This guy is really good looking

    NO man is good looking enough for it to be okay to jerk someone around.
    Cut all ties. Immediately.
    If you don't respect yourself enough to be treated properly by someone, then why would he bother to do it?
  • Captain_Mal
    Captain_Mal Posts: 945 Member
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    ...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o

    I mean this is the most respectful way possible, but it sounds like you may be misreading certain people's attention. I could be totally wrong, but I had a stalker once and it was a very scary and terrible experience. To say that you've been 'stalked so much' and have almost been a victim of sexual assault is incredibly serious and I'm sure traumatic, but maybe you need to cool it with these people if that is where it is ending up. My stalker was a complete stranger/neighbor, but I know if I had numerous stalkers, I'd be a bit more cautious of who I let in. Good luck!

    ^^^ This is great too. It seems pretty obvious you over-analyze and misinterpret things often. Also seems you become far too attached to people.
  • maryh1986
    maryh1986 Posts: 12
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    Your post is really a two part so I'll address it that way.

    1) No matter what the excuse is, it is completely rude and inappropriate for him to keep making plans with you and then not showing up or being late. Even if they are loosely made plans, you rearranged your schedule to help him with the test or to meet up with him. Next time he wants to meet up, say that you're not going to make plans with him because he is inconsiderate regarding your schedule and you're not available at his beck and call.

    2) I'm confused on one part of this. You think he's cute and like that he flirts with you, but you also think he's creepy. Generally speaking that doesn't make sense. I'd say if you even have the slightest inkling that something's not right with him that you should keep your distance. That includes helping him. I agree with the other posters you should stop seeing him.

    Also I'm not going to down play the seriousness of stalking, but you said you were stalked before. And it seems like you rather enjoy this guy's attention, but you yourself said it's creepy. It makes me wonder if you're subconsciously ingratiating yourself with someone who could be dangerous because it boosts your self esteem. I think you should go get some counseling to try to work it out. You could go to either your school's counseling service or to an outside therapist. Either way, good luck.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    ...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o;;;
    You can't say someone is stalking you when you keep making plans with him!

    And I am really confused on why his looks enter into it at all.
  • Healthyby30
    Healthyby30 Posts: 1,349 Member
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    ...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o

    I mean this is the most respectful way possible, but it sounds like you may be misreading certain people's attention. I could be totally wrong, but I had a stalker once and it was a very scary and terrible experience. To say that you've been 'stalked so much' and have almost been a victim of sexual assault is incredibly serious and I'm sure traumatic, but maybe you need to cool it with these people if that is where it is ending up. My stalker was a complete stranger/neighbor, but I know if I had numerous stalkers, I'd be a bit more cautious of who I let in. Good luck!

    ^^^ This is great too. It seems pretty obvious you over-analyze and misinterpret things often. Also seems you become far too attached to people.

    That was my first thought when I read this...

    Also, you are LETTING him treat you that way by continuously making plans after he breaks them. He has you wrapped around his finger, helping him/seeing him when he needs/wants it and has total disrespect for you when it isn't convenient for him to see you. Ignore him and move on.
  • legmotor
    legmotor Posts: 197 Member
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    No offense, but women that allow themselves to be treated like this really frustrate me. Do NOT allow this to continue. You have been told yesterday to move on and yet you haven't? What are you waiting for exactly?

    What have looks got to do with it? Would you allow yourself to be treated as an option and not a priority by someone less attractive who only uses you????
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
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    ...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o

    I mean this is the most respectful way possible, but it sounds like you may be misreading certain people's attention. I could be totally wrong, but I had a stalker once and it was a very scary and terrible experience. To say that you've been 'stalked so much' and have almost been a victim of sexual assault is incredibly serious and I'm sure traumatic, but maybe you need to cool it with these people if that is where it is ending up. My stalker was a complete stranger/neighbor, but I know if I had numerous stalkers, I'd be a bit more cautious of who I let in. Good luck!

    I have had a stalker for 3 yrs,(we worked at the same place) when he couldnt get with me, he started f**king my identical twin. She knew this dude tried to get with me for yrs. We havent spoken in 3 yrs. Let go of this guy! He`s obviously not worth your time.
    Good luck!
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US..........Just saying WHY DO YOU ALLOW THIS?
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    Something about you does not sound right to me. I just don't think I believe everything you are saying, part of it might be that the type of person you are frustrates me and comes off as pathetic and wanting attention. If you had real respect for youself and this **** is actually happening to you, you would have already done what you know you should do. I think this is really why I am calling bull****. I'll save my advice for someone who will take it and use it, this is your second post about this in 2 days so you don't really want peoples advice you just want opinions. Mine is worth too much to waste on you anymore
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
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    Ah to be young again.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    ...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o

    I mean this is the most respectful way possible, but it sounds like you may be misreading certain people's attention. I could be totally wrong, but I had a stalker once and it was a very scary and terrible experience. To say that you've been 'stalked so much' and have almost been a victim of sexual assault is incredibly serious and I'm sure traumatic, but maybe you need to cool it with these people if that is where it is ending up. My stalker was a complete stranger/neighbor, but I know if I had numerous stalkers, I'd be a bit more cautious of who I let in. Good luck!


    ^^^ This is great too. It seems pretty obvious you over-analyze and misinterpret things often. Also seems you become far too attached to people.

    Most guys who have stalked me were strangers. The time I had to move, it was because it got to the point some began stalking my boyfriend at the time. The guy who tried raping me was a stranger too...But there are a lot of guys who I will think are just friendly or not even that into me...and they will become really obsessive...I know I sound like a stalker =/ I am sorry I have made this so confusing, I have been using this as a way to figure out my own confusion.

    The reason I am hesitant to cut contact is that we have the same (very small) class together, and I don't want it to be awkward. Esp since we have some of the same "friends" :/

    There are too many small details which create the larger picture from my side, and I am not sure how to explain them all. I realize now that these details make a huge difference in understanding my actions...^^; I am really sorry I have ranted on here so much about this though.

    I think I will just ask my mom for help. I have told her many more details, and she warned me from the get-go that he seemed a bit off...I really appreciate everyones advice. Please do not pass too much judgment on me. I was not careful enough in phrasing this situation. I will refrain from bringing this situation up on the forums again ^^

    Thank you everyone for your advice though! It really means a lot.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
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    MOVE ON.

    This guy is clearly NOT INTERESTED IN YOU AT ALL.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    Something about you does not sound right to me. I just don't think I believe everything you are saying, part of it might be that the type of person you are frustrates me and comes off as pathetic and wanting attention. If you had real respect for youself and this **** is actually happening to you, you would have already done what you know you should do. I think this is really why I am calling bull****. I'll save my advice for someone who will take it and use it, this is your second post about this in 2 days so you don't really want peoples advice you just want opinions. Mine is worth too much to waste on you anymore

    You kind of contradicted yourself there. I never forced you to read my post, and if your opinion is worth too much to waste on me, then you would not have told me I am "pathetic and wanting attention."

    Thank you everyone else though. I will not post about this here again. ^^

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