Why would a guy do this? Angry and creeped out :S

2

Replies

  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    ...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o;;;
    You can't say someone is stalking you when you keep making plans with him!

    And I am really confused on why his looks enter into it at all.
  • Healthyby30
    Healthyby30 Posts: 1,349 Member
    ...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o

    I mean this is the most respectful way possible, but it sounds like you may be misreading certain people's attention. I could be totally wrong, but I had a stalker once and it was a very scary and terrible experience. To say that you've been 'stalked so much' and have almost been a victim of sexual assault is incredibly serious and I'm sure traumatic, but maybe you need to cool it with these people if that is where it is ending up. My stalker was a complete stranger/neighbor, but I know if I had numerous stalkers, I'd be a bit more cautious of who I let in. Good luck!

    ^^^ This is great too. It seems pretty obvious you over-analyze and misinterpret things often. Also seems you become far too attached to people.

    That was my first thought when I read this...

    Also, you are LETTING him treat you that way by continuously making plans after he breaks them. He has you wrapped around his finger, helping him/seeing him when he needs/wants it and has total disrespect for you when it isn't convenient for him to see you. Ignore him and move on.
  • legmotor
    legmotor Posts: 197 Member
    No offense, but women that allow themselves to be treated like this really frustrate me. Do NOT allow this to continue. You have been told yesterday to move on and yet you haven't? What are you waiting for exactly?

    What have looks got to do with it? Would you allow yourself to be treated as an option and not a priority by someone less attractive who only uses you????
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
    ...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o

    I mean this is the most respectful way possible, but it sounds like you may be misreading certain people's attention. I could be totally wrong, but I had a stalker once and it was a very scary and terrible experience. To say that you've been 'stalked so much' and have almost been a victim of sexual assault is incredibly serious and I'm sure traumatic, but maybe you need to cool it with these people if that is where it is ending up. My stalker was a complete stranger/neighbor, but I know if I had numerous stalkers, I'd be a bit more cautious of who I let in. Good luck!

    I have had a stalker for 3 yrs,(we worked at the same place) when he couldnt get with me, he started f**king my identical twin. She knew this dude tried to get with me for yrs. We havent spoken in 3 yrs. Let go of this guy! He`s obviously not worth your time.
    Good luck!
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
    WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US..........Just saying WHY DO YOU ALLOW THIS?
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    Something about you does not sound right to me. I just don't think I believe everything you are saying, part of it might be that the type of person you are frustrates me and comes off as pathetic and wanting attention. If you had real respect for youself and this **** is actually happening to you, you would have already done what you know you should do. I think this is really why I am calling bull****. I'll save my advice for someone who will take it and use it, this is your second post about this in 2 days so you don't really want peoples advice you just want opinions. Mine is worth too much to waste on you anymore
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
    Ah to be young again.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    ...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o

    I mean this is the most respectful way possible, but it sounds like you may be misreading certain people's attention. I could be totally wrong, but I had a stalker once and it was a very scary and terrible experience. To say that you've been 'stalked so much' and have almost been a victim of sexual assault is incredibly serious and I'm sure traumatic, but maybe you need to cool it with these people if that is where it is ending up. My stalker was a complete stranger/neighbor, but I know if I had numerous stalkers, I'd be a bit more cautious of who I let in. Good luck!


    ^^^ This is great too. It seems pretty obvious you over-analyze and misinterpret things often. Also seems you become far too attached to people.

    Most guys who have stalked me were strangers. The time I had to move, it was because it got to the point some began stalking my boyfriend at the time. The guy who tried raping me was a stranger too...But there are a lot of guys who I will think are just friendly or not even that into me...and they will become really obsessive...I know I sound like a stalker =/ I am sorry I have made this so confusing, I have been using this as a way to figure out my own confusion.

    The reason I am hesitant to cut contact is that we have the same (very small) class together, and I don't want it to be awkward. Esp since we have some of the same "friends" :/

    There are too many small details which create the larger picture from my side, and I am not sure how to explain them all. I realize now that these details make a huge difference in understanding my actions...^^; I am really sorry I have ranted on here so much about this though.

    I think I will just ask my mom for help. I have told her many more details, and she warned me from the get-go that he seemed a bit off...I really appreciate everyones advice. Please do not pass too much judgment on me. I was not careful enough in phrasing this situation. I will refrain from bringing this situation up on the forums again ^^

    Thank you everyone for your advice though! It really means a lot.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
    MOVE ON.

    This guy is clearly NOT INTERESTED IN YOU AT ALL.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    Something about you does not sound right to me. I just don't think I believe everything you are saying, part of it might be that the type of person you are frustrates me and comes off as pathetic and wanting attention. If you had real respect for youself and this **** is actually happening to you, you would have already done what you know you should do. I think this is really why I am calling bull****. I'll save my advice for someone who will take it and use it, this is your second post about this in 2 days so you don't really want peoples advice you just want opinions. Mine is worth too much to waste on you anymore

    You kind of contradicted yourself there. I never forced you to read my post, and if your opinion is worth too much to waste on me, then you would not have told me I am "pathetic and wanting attention."

    Thank you everyone else though. I will not post about this here again. ^^
  • StrengthIsBeautiful
    StrengthIsBeautiful Posts: 309 Member
    You are the one who is obsessed. He is the one who should be creeped out, but he probably thinks it's funny.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    Why would a guy do this? Because your interest in him boosts his ego.
    That should make you angry enough to want to deflate it. The way to deflate it is to NOT make plans with him, become to busy to offer to help with his weekend, perhaps even too busy to chat with him at the gym! Will he "like" you then? I sincerely hope not, because such immature behavior is NOT a predictor of a potentially successful relationship.
  • Rain_Howard
    Rain_Howard Posts: 155
    A guy would do this for the same reason you post two different times on the same subject asking the same question and getting the same answers, Attention.
  • ThinspiredButterfly
    ThinspiredButterfly Posts: 176 Member
    Something about you does not sound right to me. I just don't think I believe everything you are saying, part of it might be that the type of person you are frustrates me and comes off as pathetic and wanting attention. If you had real respect for youself and this **** is actually happening to you, you would have already done what you know you should do. I think this is really why I am calling bull****. I'll save my advice for someone who will take it and use it, this is your second post about this in 2 days so you don't really want peoples advice you just want opinions. Mine is worth too much to waste on you anymore

    i totally agree!!! i personally believe you're wanting attention knowing this is your second post in 2 days. get over it!!!
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    Once again, I am sorry I asked this. I honestly wish I weren't so confused this entire time, and there are a lot of details I did not feel comfortable discussing (which at the time I did not feel were necessary). I do not need attention from strangers online, although I can see how my question came across as attention-seeking. I have simply been confused, and there are a lot of details which add-up as to why I have allowed this to continue...

    As I mentioned, I will speak with my mom about this. I will not post on the forums about this again. I am really sorry if I offended anyone. I honestly appreciate all of the advice, but there are certain things that I do not feel comfortable sharing. I now realize I should not have mentioned this if I did not want to share these details.

    If a moderator could please close this, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!

    ps: I HAVE NOT FORCED ANYONE TO READ THIS. You can ignore this, rude comments are not necessary ^^
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    Something about you does not sound right to me. I just don't think I believe everything you are saying, part of it might be that the type of person you are frustrates me and comes off as pathetic and wanting attention. If you had real respect for youself and this **** is actually happening to you, you would have already done what you know you should do. I think this is really why I am calling bull****. I'll save my advice for someone who will take it and use it, this is your second post about this in 2 days so you don't really want peoples advice you just want opinions. Mine is worth too much to waste on you anymore

    You kind of contradicted yourself there. I never forced you to read my post, and if your opinion is worth too much to waste on me, then you would not have told me I am "pathetic and wanting attention."

    Thank you everyone else though. I will not post about this here again. ^^

    Thanks we appreciate you taking the opinions you asked for and throwing them right out of the window to do exactly what you want to do anyway, but at least we won't know because you said you wouldn't post about it again.
  • StrengthIsBeautiful
    StrengthIsBeautiful Posts: 309 Member
    Yesterday you posted that you were hoping to get sex out of tutoring him. Maybe that will help shut down the post. :flowerforyou:
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    Something about you does not sound right to me. I just don't think I believe everything you are saying, part of it might be that the type of person you are frustrates me and comes off as pathetic and wanting attention. If you had real respect for youself and this **** is actually happening to you, you would have already done what you know you should do. I think this is really why I am calling bull****. I'll save my advice for someone who will take it and use it, this is your second post about this in 2 days so you don't really want peoples advice you just want opinions. Mine is worth too much to waste on you anymore

    You kind of contradicted yourself there. I never forced you to read my post, and if your opinion is worth too much to waste on me, then you would not have told me I am "pathetic and wanting attention."

    Thank you everyone else though. I will not post about this here again. ^^

    Thanks we appreciate you taking the opinions you asked for and throwing them right out of the window to do exactly what you want to do anyway, but at least we won't know because you said you wouldn't post about it again.

    This topic was not made to offend you, so I do not understand why you are bullying me.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    backpedal.jpg
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    Yesterday you posted that you were hoping to get sex out of tutoring him. Maybe that will help shut down the post. :flowerforyou:

    That was the truth, but as I said I should not have posted this if I did not want to share certain details which have caused me to change my feelings drastically. Thank you for helping.

    ps: I am going to bed. Thank you again for the genuine advice. The people who felt the need to bully me over something that was never meant to offend anyone...have fun bullying your computer screen. Good night!
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
    you asked: "Why would a guy do this?"

    based on what you wrote, my question is: "Why would any girl have anything to do with a guy who does what you described, and dwell on it?"

    in short...MOVE ON. life is too short. who cares the reasons for his stupid behavior. I only wonder why you are wasting your time with it. its not your test. but it is your time that he's wasting.
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
    You have been wasting far too much energy on this guy. I seem to recall not only yesterday's post, but one a couple of weeks back as to which guy you should pursue.

    How about none of them. Obviously he isn't interested. Leave him be...move on... and open yourself up for a fulfilling relationship instead of worrying about this guy. He obviously isn't that worried about you. You are making too much drama
  • gpjuicy69
    gpjuicy69 Posts: 20
    Cut him out he's not wroth it in the long wrong. If your feeling creeped out follow your gut.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    Something about you does not sound right to me. I just don't think I believe everything you are saying, part of it might be that the type of person you are frustrates me and comes off as pathetic and wanting attention. If you had real respect for youself and this **** is actually happening to you, you would have already done what you know you should do. I think this is really why I am calling bull****. I'll save my advice for someone who will take it and use it, this is your second post about this in 2 days so you don't really want peoples advice you just want opinions. Mine is worth too much to waste on you anymore

    You kind of contradicted yourself there. I never forced you to read my post, and if your opinion is worth too much to waste on me, then you would not have told me I am "pathetic and wanting attention."

    Thank you everyone else though. I will not post about this here again. ^^

    Thanks we appreciate you taking the opinions you asked for and throwing them right out of the window to do exactly what you want to do anyway, but at least we won't know because you said you wouldn't post about it again.

    This topic was not made to offend you, so I do not understand why you are bullying me.

    I like a lot of people can't stand it when someone posts about wanting someones opinion when they really mean they want validation. Everybody told you yesterday what they thought, and you ignored it and came right back up here to post more. I am totally honest when i say this next part. If you respected yourself enough you would not let him treat you that way twice, and you certainly wouldn't want to be around someone you are now considering weird and creepy and stalkerish. Some people aren't meant to be understood call it fates test of your self respect. At the moment you are failing. I do know one thing for sure, if a guy likes you he will leave no room or a doubt in your mind. So whats left to talk about here, if he liked you, you would know for sure and now he is creeping you out....WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED. So what if he is in your class let him be uncomfortable not you. Oh you can call it bullying if you like, but no one can bully you unless you allow them to, another sign you don't respect yourself. Best of luck on your ever oddening situation I hope you do something about it.

    By the way since she has retired this is for everyone else because you know this is going to go in one eyeball and out of the other.
  • Rain_Howard
    Rain_Howard Posts: 155
    At the risk of getting slapped by the admin, I strongly suggest you seek professional mental help. I'm not meaning this as a bash or an insult but as a personal observation.
  • ThinspiredButterfly
    ThinspiredButterfly Posts: 176 Member
    not ment to be attention seeking? u just told everyone u were almost raped...ya...because thats not seeking for attention or anything.u couldve just said u were stalked before instead of going into details... no one asked u to do that..
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    Why do you only respond to the negative feedback? There are people here who have NOT criticized your post, and you haven't responded to us. But you are responding to criticism. I see a correlation here between this and your interest in a man who doesn't respond to your interest in a positive way. Work on your own self confidence first, not on hooking up with a guy or in trying to get anyone on this forum agree with you.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    He's definitely sucking up too much of your energy and thoughts...move on and find someone who appreciates you on all levels.
  • bens_mommy
    bens_mommy Posts: 219
    Why would a guy keep making plans with a girl, and then ditch her last minute?

    Because he can.
    We teach people how to treat us. You can't make him do what he says he will, or what you want him too, but you can make sure it's not you he's treating that way.

    Thiiis. By being all polite and "understanding" when he bails on you at the last minute, you're letting him know that's okay. When people do that to me, they don't get the nice treatment.

    Move on, this guy is a scumbag.
  • smpearce13
    smpearce13 Posts: 32 Member
    Short answer: Because you'll let him! (that goes for either sex for that matter).

    The real question is: why would you let someone do that to you? Once, maybe twice, but if you get ditched a second time, that person isn't interested in you and move on! It would only be awkward in that class if you allow it to be.

    Time to find a spine and be strong!
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