MFP Bullying Needs to Stop

jennajava
jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
in Motivation and Support
Mikeyrp posted this a while back. I felt it needed to be reiterated.
Over the last few weeks I've read a number of naive posts from people which have quite rightly been shot down - however the way in which the MFP community has done this has been, in my opinion, negative and in many cases borderline bullying.

I'm not going to talk specifics but I think it would be good if we could all be mindful of the following things

Not everyone on the site will have the same goals - most people join the site to loose weight but some people are here to track what they eat in order to stay healthy - I'm talking about maintainers, people who are training and want to hit specific macro 's (protein, carbs etc) and people who are trying to gain weight normally following physical or mental illness. Some people just want to loose (or gain) weight - others want to become super fit athletes or body builders. Some want to have the worlds healthiest diet - others want to simply reduce their calorie intake. Every single one of these objectives is legitimate and I don't believe any of us have a right to judge one objective to be better than another.

With this in mind - a sensitive poster will state their personal objectives at the start of a post before making a statement like 'should my fridge contain more lard' ... But lets be honest - not everyone is super sensitive...

When we see a post like this we shouldn't all rush in to tell this person they are an idiot... but ask probing questions like 'have you considered that most people on this site are not looking to increase their lard intake - perhaps you can share your objectives and how will eating more lard help you to achieve them'

The worst kind of response is where we pick up on an attribute of the poster and use this to belittle them rather than to meet their statements head on with a constructive and logical argument. For example making assumption on something in a profile picture and making comments about it, or picking up on spelling or grammar issues and using this to make people feel stupid. Come on people - that's not what this community is or should be about!


So - read this then go forth and be nice to each other :) I know its what you all do best
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Replies

  • DarkAngel525
    DarkAngel525 Posts: 135
    Sounds nice, but I wouldn't count on it. I just replied to a post and the OP got ripped to freaking shreds :sick:
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I love how some people hide behind "honesty" as a reason to be cruel to someone. You call them out on how rude they were and their reply is typically, "I'm not being rude; I'm being honest". Like you can't tell the truth with kindness?????
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Like you can't tell the truth with kindness?????

    Exactly.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Sounds nice, but I wouldn't count on it. I just replied to a post and the OP got ripped to freaking shreds :sick:

    Which post are you referring to?
  • breskittle
    breskittle Posts: 75 Member
    Great post! BTW your before/after picture is amazing! You don't look the same at all!! You are so pretty!
    Keep up the good work!
  • tgh1914
    tgh1914 Posts: 1,036 Member
    Isn't that what the phrase "just saying" is for? Free license to be as offensive as you want?
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Great post! BTW your before/after picture is amazing! You don't look the same at all!! You are so pretty!
    Keep up the good work!

    Why thanks!
  • ConnieSG
    ConnieSG Posts: 376
    Wow!! I didn't know this type of thing was going on.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Isn't that what the phrase "just saying" is for? Free license to be as offensive as you want?

    Apparently, some would think so.
  • LKBuckingham
    LKBuckingham Posts: 17
    I love how some people hide behind "honesty" as a reason to be cruel to someone. You call them out on how rude they were and their reply is typically, "I'm not being rude; I'm being honest". Like you can't tell the truth with kindness?????



    AMEN!
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    I agree with you Jenna...sure, there are some pretty dumb posts, but some people seem to really enjoy being nasty online.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Wow!! I didn't know this type of thing was going on.

    Just today, someone posted a question about cals in a recipe. She voiced that she thought it being baked made a difference. Some people chose to be extremely rude about it...what was the point in that?
  • carrie_eggo
    carrie_eggo Posts: 1,396 Member
    Isn't that what the phrase "just saying" is for? Free license to be as offensive as you want?

    Apparently, some would think so.

    Yeah, especially if you add a smiley and "LOL"
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    Everyone should speak in love and kindness "JUST SAYIN"
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
    Isn't that what the phrase "just saying" is for? Free license to be as offensive as you want?

    Holy **** I hate it when people use the phrase "just saying"...we know you're saying it. You just said it.
  • carrie_eggo
    carrie_eggo Posts: 1,396 Member
    Wow!! I didn't know this type of thing was going on.

    Just today, someone posted a question about cals in a recipe. She voiced that she thought it being baked made a difference. Some people chose to be extremely rude about it...what was the point in that?

    I saw that..the OP took it really well, bless her heart.
  • calderst
    calderst Posts: 222 Member
    A good rule of thumb-- ask youself "am I saying this to be helpful or am I just cranky because I need a snack?"
    Works wonders in my personal life. :)
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Wow!! I didn't know this type of thing was going on.

    Just today, someone posted a question about cals in a recipe. She voiced that she thought it being baked made a difference. Some people chose to be extremely rude about it...what was the point in that?
    What's the point in this thread?
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Wow!! I didn't know this type of thing was going on.

    Just today, someone posted a question about cals in a recipe. She voiced that she thought it being baked made a difference. Some people chose to be extremely rude about it...what was the point in that?
    What's the point in this thread?

    To point out that not everyone thinks the rude/snarky/sarcastic replies to people are cool.
  • bjberry
    bjberry Posts: 665 Member
    Thank goodness there are mostly really good, supportive people on this site! Hugs to all of you! :drinker: (lots of water)
  • cj1234cj23
    cj1234cj23 Posts: 113 Member
    Amen! I stopped coming to the site for a couple of weeks after reading some posts one morning! I was shocked that they were so rude to this woman! I was really discouraged just by reading her post. hmmm....I do think I shall start calling them out on it....and no saying....regardless if it is "just sayin" gives a person the right to be rude.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Wow!! I didn't know this type of thing was going on.

    Just today, someone posted a question about cals in a recipe. She voiced that she thought it being baked made a difference. Some people chose to be extremely rude about it...what was the point in that?
    What's the point in this thread?

    To point out that not everyone thinks the rude/snarky/sarcastic replies to people are cool.
    Well thank goodness, no more sleepless nights! :drinker:
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    With all due respect, I think some people are just sensitive.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    A good rule of thumb-- ask youself "am I saying this to be helpful or am I just cranky because I need a snack?"
    Works wonders in my personal life. :)

    Word.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    OP:
    With this in mind - a sensitive poster will state their personal objectives at the start of a post before making a statement like 'should my fridge contain more lard' ... But lets be honest - not everyone is super sensitive...
    With all due respect, I think some people are just sensitive.

    It stands to reason that if one is coming in to contact with several people a day who are presumably "sensitive," the problem is most likely not with the other people.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    Wow!! I didn't know this type of thing was going on.

    Just today, someone posted a question about cals in a recipe. She voiced that she thought it being baked made a difference. Some people chose to be extremely rude about it...what was the point in that?
    What's the point in this thread?

    To point out that not everyone thinks the rude/snarky/sarcastic replies to people are cool.
    Well thank goodness, no more sleepless nights! :drinker:

    Okay?
  • elizahbeth
    elizahbeth Posts: 21
    I think you look smashingly pretty in all your pics.

    Thank you for posting on this topic.

    Niceness going out should get Nice coming back, equals
    supportive community on MFP.:smile:
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Okay?
    Hi.
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
    Yeah I dont think so I need to see this pole where it shows that the sensative people out number the "others" I think the "others" are being quited frequently by being "reported". That would be an interesting pole to see.

    OP:
    With this in mind - a sensitive poster will state their personal objectives at the start of a post before making a statement like 'should my fridge contain more lard' ... But lets be honest - not everyone is super sensitive...
    With all due respect, I think some people are just sensitive.

    It stands to reason that if one is coming in to contact with several people a day who are presumably "sensitive," the problem is most likely not with the other people.
  • puggleperson
    puggleperson Posts: 740 Member
    Yep! It's the age of rudness because everyone is hiding behind computer screens with no consquences what so ever. I would love half these rude people to be rude to my face!! Seriously. But really it has been a huge problem. Just the other day some 17 year old posted about shake weight and how to log it. Man did she get ripped to shreds.. After like 10 posts of straight rudeness myself and some other people finally gave her answer she could use... after that the rudness continued with no constructive criticism to help her!
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