Parenting Sugestions

You could make it a rule to always have sleepovers at your home, where you have parental supervision and no smoking.

I agree with your partner. Lie. But my kids arent allowed to stay at anyones house. I don't trust people. And I dont think every once in a while would hurt that bad. I think its when people chain smoke in an enclosed area. Where they can't get fresh air.

You have to think of your child. They know smoking is not healthy I'm sure how you handle it will make a difference. Just let them know up front. I wouldn't let him go in the house if they are both smoking in there it is on the walls in the everything not good. If they have a room they don't smoke in that the kids can play in I would check it out first then maybe. It is hard for you and your little boy but you are not alone in how you feel. I think how you handle it will make a big diffence. Be as matter of fact and polite as possible. Most people respect that.

good relationships are built on honesty (I know corny) but honestly second-hand smoke isn't good and those smells are hard to get out, especially when you don't want them there. anyway just tell them how you feel. conflict isn't a horrible thing, that's how issues get resolved, take care

I would not let my kid sleep over nor play in that house due to the smoke. No explaination necessary, I am sure the smokers will figure it out. Oh yeah, and riding in their car would be out too.

Smokers just gross me out.

I would be honest and tell them that he isn't allowed to sleep over at anyone's house where people smoke in the house. My child never was and I always gave the honest truth. No need in trying to lie or cover up, it will come out in the end anyways.

I would be honest and tell them that he isn't allowed to sleep over at anyone's house where people smoke in the house. My child never was and I always gave the honest truth. No need in trying to lie or cover up, it will come out in the end anyways.

When you said this to the parents, what were their reactions?

Some offended, some understood and were fine with their kid staying at my house instead.
I grew up in a home where both my parents smoked like chimneys in the dead of winter. It is gross and nasty and I had a headache from the time I can remember till like 2 months after moving out. Come to find out just several years ago I am terrible allergic to smoke and I won't even stay in my parents house anymore, or anywhere that someone smokes. And I wasn't going to subject my kid to it either. I am not rude about it, I am just honest and if people are offended, that is on them. Honesty offends people in so many other arenas in life, not just smoking.

Good luck. I hate that you are in this situation. I hate it for anyone.

Be honest.
Say; I am very sorry and I don't want to offend you but with all the medical information on the dangers of second hand smoke and it's effects on children, I don't think I feel comfortable with our son sleeping over. I hope it doesn't effect the kids friendship because we think your family is great and the boys love playing together.

I would be honest and tell them that you can't put your child in an environment with smoke. If you are not honest they may keep asking. Also telling them the truth may make them realize they are endangering their child. My dad smoked in the house and car when we were kids. My brother and I both suffer from asthma because of this. Not worth the risk!

This is one reason (of a few) why we don't do sleepovers, period.

Telling them your son has asthma is an outright lie that could backfire eventually. Instead, you could tell them that your kid is "sensitive" to cigarette smoke. That will probably still piss them off and put them on the defensive, however. I think if it were me, I'd just decline every invitation until eventually they get the idea. Have the friend over to your house instead.

Non-smokers who are exposed to breathing in tobacco smoke at home have a 25% higher risk of developing lung cancer or heart disease. If this is added to exposure in the workplace and public places, the risk goes up to as high as 60%.

Many children are affected by passive smoking in the home. In the UK almost half of all children are exposed to secondhand smoke indoors, as either one or both parents smoke in front of them. Doctors say that more than 17,000 children a year, who are under the age of 5 years old, are admitted into hospital due to the harmful effects of passive smoking. If parents did not smoke at home, these illnesses and admissions into hospital could have been avoided.

Babies and children are especially at risk and their health, as a child and even as an adult in years to come, is jeopardised if they are exposed to passive smoking at home.

Environmental tobacco smoke (ETS) is a product of two of the three types of tobacco smoke produced when a person smokes a cigarette.

The first type of smoke that makes up ETS is exhaled mainstream smoke. Exhaled mainstream smoke is the smoke that is first of all inhaled by the smoker upon taking a puff of a cigarette and then breathed out into the air from his lungs.

The second type of smoke that makes up ETS is called sidestream smoke. Sidestream smoke is the smoke that drifts upwards and into the air from the tip of a burning cigarette.

Finally, the third type of smoke that is produced on smoking a cigarette, but which does not make up ETS is mainstream smoke. This is the smoke that is inhaled by the smoker himself, through the cigarette and which stays inside the body.

Mainstream smoke and exhaled mainstream smoke are not the same, as they differ chemically. After inhaling cigarette smoke into the lungs, some of the smoke stays in the body, along with some of the chemical substances, whilst the rest is exhaled together with the remaining chemical substances. The exhaled smoke undergoes several chemical changes upon coming into contact with enzymes from the tissues of the human body before being released into the air. Mainstream smoke is the smoke that stays inside the smoker's body and is not breathed out into the air.