Self Sabotage...trying so hard to break that cycle

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mjane166
mjane166 Posts: 14
in Motivation and Support
Hi there -

I've been using MFP for about a month now and it's working great. I mostly use it to count my calories. I found that although I was eating a lot of the right things, my portions were way too big.

My frustration is that, at the beginning of the year I went from 199 down to about 182 lbs. I was all happy and then it was like, "ok, I've done good now....time to stop". I gained everything back. SO, I started up again almost 2 months ago and now I'm at the same spot again.....I've lost a bunch of weigh, enough to be proud and then last week started eating crappy again, only went to the gym once and it showed. I gained 1/2 lb. this week.

Now before anyone says it, I know, it's only 1/2 lb. BUT this is what starts it every time.

At least I realize this and after weighing this morning, I went to the gym and let out all my frustration on the machines and weights.

Here's to seeing the 170's on the scale and to NOT sabotaging myself this time. I know I can do it....it's just hard.

Replies

  • birdlover97111
    birdlover97111 Posts: 346 Member
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    I am on the same vicious cycle as you are...Been on it for YEARS...Good luck on your journey... :flowerforyou:
  • shan889
    shan889 Posts: 73
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    I think that is something a lot of people go through. You start to look great and then you get of coarse. Just know that you can get through it and tomorrow is always a new day! Good for you for not breaking down and sabotaging yourself! Keep up the hard work, and you'll get where you want to be
  • JulieSD
    JulieSD Posts: 567
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    Honestly, I can't see myself not using mfp. Hopefully I'll hit my final goal next spring and then I'll maintain. I'll use mfp forever, well, as long as its around.

    Its the best tool. Just because you hit your goal doesnt mean you stop tracking what you eat...its a life long process.

    Good luck!
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    I think we've ALL been in that same vicious cycle. Now that you recognize what is happening ... work to stop the cycle. You've been successful at the weight loss, DO NOT allow yourself to get lazy and uncaring about it again. I truly believe that recognizing the behavior is the first step to getting it under control.


    Good Luck to you! You CAN do it!
  • petraann
    petraann Posts: 20 Member
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    I have done the same in the past. In fact I am leaving a "self induced" plateau. I, too, get frustrated with my food addiction. I can be soooo good for so long (6 months losing 30lbs) but then blow it all come summer season and ice cream...becauase I am comfortably in the comfort zone of weight...160s for me. I need to be another 20lbs lower so I am in the middle of my healthy range, not bordering on the high end. WE CAN DO IT! I think after a few weeks of glutony you will be ready to go back. I did, I am now in a Biggest Loser competition adn I need that for the extra motivation since I can not seem to do it myself. Start something healthy with a friend...rewarding yourself every 5/10 pounds....pedicures, new shoes...whatever makes you happy. Hold off on something you would normally do for yourself...until you reach a goal. Just some thoughts of things that have worked for me. Happy Slimming!
  • Victœria
    Victœria Posts: 80 Member
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    I don't know if your exactly like me but here is my story (a short version!)

    I lost 10lbs and people occasionally asked if i'd lost weight so i was all ike "yes i have lost 10lbs actually" and they were all "well you can tell, you look really good"

    OK

    so I've lost 20lbs now ..;.. and nobody mentions my weight at all.. i feel so deflated! but i realised that people just let you "get on with it" and wont mention it again for a while or until i have lost significantly! .. They "the people" still notice your loosing but dont feel the need to reasure you that they have noticed because they have already commented earlier.

    If your weight goes up and down alot they wont mention it because they dont want to hurt your feelings.

    Just keep up the hard work and people will start to mention your weight loss when YOU start looking and acting happier, so pick yourself up off the floor .. dont over eat and get your *kitten* to the gym xxxxx
  • GliderGirl
    GliderGirl Posts: 7
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    I used to be the same way. when i first started, over a year ago, i dropped over 20 lbs really fast. Then, i would say things lik e "i just lost 20 pounds. . . i can totally have this" then i would say it again and again.
    Eventually, i gained back not only what i lost, but about 10lbs more.

    THIS TIME i have a trick. I try to keep it in my head that EVERY TIME i cheat even just once (one piece of candy) is ONE DAY MORE away from my goal. It worked for me. . . if someone offered me something, even small, i would think "an entire extra day"

    My situation has changed this time though, three weeks ago i found out my weight is not my only issue. And now i can not cheat, ever. Due to an issue with my circulatory system. now my family helps me out by saying something is "poisoned" or "has spiders in it". Because i really can not have it. I am terrified of spiders, and it might sound funny, but i will not even go near my pantry because i have this image of spiders sitting in there. Maybe that will work for you. I know its odd, but everyone is different.
  • mjane166
    mjane166 Posts: 14
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    I don't know if your exactly like me but here is my story (a short version!)

    I lost 10lbs and people occasionally asked if i'd lost weight so i was all ike "yes i have lost 10lbs actually" and they were all "well you can tell, you look really good"

    OK

    so I've lost 20lbs now ..;.. and nobody mentions my weight at all.. i feel so deflated! but i realised that people just let you "get on with it" and wont mention it again for a while or until i have lost significantly! .. They "the people" still notice your loosing but dont feel the need to reasure you that they have noticed because they have already commented earlier.

    If your weight goes up and down alot they wont mention it because they dont want to hurt your feelings.

    Just keep up the hard work and people will start to mention your weight loss when YOU start looking and acting happier, so pick yourself up off the floor .. dont over eat and get your *kitten* to the gym xxxxx

    I never really thought about that until you just wrote it. BUT I think you hit the nail on the head!! I do get motivation from others telling me I look good, or that they have noticed, but that's not happening a whole lot right now. Hmmm, thanks for making me see another side :flowerforyou:

    Thanks to all of you for posting. It's nice to know I'm not the only one, and I didn't think I was. We are having a really yummy chicken salad for dinner tonight to try and get myself back on track. I've done 16 lbs. I can totally do 60 :wink:
  • Cathleenr
    Cathleenr Posts: 332
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    Hi there -

    I've been using MFP for about a month now and it's working great. I mostly use it to count my calories. I found that although I was eating a lot of the right things, my portions were way too big.

    My frustration is that, at the beginning of the year I went from 199 down to about 182 lbs. I was all happy and then it was like, "ok, I've done good now....time to stop". I gained everything back. SO, I started up again almost 2 months ago and now I'm at the same spot again.....I've lost a bunch of weigh, enough to be proud and then last week started eating crappy again, only went to the gym once and it showed. I gained 1/2 lb. this week.

    Now before anyone says it, I know, it's only 1/2 lb. BUT this is what starts it every time.

    At least I realize this and after weighing this morning, I went to the gym and let out all my frustration on the machines and weights.

    Here's to seeing the 170's on the scale and to NOT sabotaging myself this time. I know I can do it....it's just hard.

    well, whats your plan for maintanence?
    that is the key you are missing...what to do when you reach your goal. do you want to stay there? build muscle? run a 5K? eat everything you want...just like before?
    take some time to plan and find out HOW you are going to stay in maintanence before you get there...then its not a surprise. :)
  • kaetra
    kaetra Posts: 442 Member
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    Doing the right thing health-wise all the time is a very hard thing to do. It sure is hard for me too even with the tons of motivation I have.

    It's so easy to get discouraged. For me, it's not so much feeling deprived (I never eat anything I don't love) but it's about the portions. I always have in the back of my mind that number, that awful low awful ridiculously small number of calories I will get to eat on "maintenance". That's enough to make me say "F this crap" about 20 times a day. It's easy to reduce calories when there's an end in sight. But the reality is if AFTER I meet my goal I won't be able to eat more than 1500 calories a day or I'm gonna gain weight again. I'm short and old and riding the Ship Sedentary at a desk job. I guess I'll just have to become a gym rat or something if I want any food! ("Run on that wheel little mouse if you want your cheese!" grrrr)

    BUT if I said screw it right now, and stopped ---- where will I be in two years? Probably 20 pounds heavier. And in 10 years? Maybe not even around at all (then who would bless my husband and child with a finely tuned nag?).

    SO! I have no choice. Either I choose a new life or I choose the all-you-can-eat buffet on Ship Sedentary. Ship Sedentary ain't all it's cracked up to be though because after the buffet is over you have to walk the plank. :noway:
  • debbiebaz
    debbiebaz Posts: 45 Member
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    The thing that helps me to keep on going is mini goals i set for myself. Set mini goals that you know you can reach, that are not reliant on anyone else but yourself, make the goals as small as possible so that as you reach them you can focus on the next. Write them down, all the way to the end and as you hit them, record the date, the sense of achievement will keep you going.

    Hope this help, you CAN do this.
  • mjane166
    mjane166 Posts: 14
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    well, whats your plan for maintanence?
    that is the key you are missing...what to do when you reach your goal. do you want to stay there? build muscle? run a 5K? eat everything you want...just like before?
    take some time to plan and find out HOW you are going to stay in maintanence before you get there...then its not a surprise. :)

    I honestly hadn't thought about maintenance other than that this change to my eating habits and exercise will be for the rest of my life. I think that I will probably be on 1500 calories a day for the rest of my life, might try to up it a bit, but I'm pretty sedentary and only work out 3 times a week and sit at a desk for the rest of my time.

    I will spend some time thinking what my plan is, you're right, I need to think ahead and not get there with no plan. For the record, I am looking at 1 1/2 years to hit my major goal, so I do have some time. :wink:
  • kagenw
    kagenw Posts: 260 Member
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    I think that it is very important that you realize the signs of this cycle. When you know that your bad eating is wrong and irresponsible, it'll make it a lot easier to stop yourself before you make a mistake by eating your 3rd or 4th slice of pepperoni pizza (my favorite sin). Try to give yourself excuses to eat healthy, instead of excuses to eat poorly. Knowing that I worked my butt off and sacrificed for my few pounds of weight loss helps me remember that I do not want to even let myself slip for one moment, because if I do then all my hard work was basically for nothing.
  • kaetra
    kaetra Posts: 442 Member
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    The thing that helps me to keep on going is mini goals i set for myself. Set mini goals that you know you can reach, that are not reliant on anyone else but yourself, make the goals as small as possible so that as you reach them you can focus on the next. Write them down, all the way to the end and as you hit them, record the date, the sense of achievement will keep you going.

    Hope this help, you CAN do this.

    Mini goals are awesome!
  • MaryAnn678
    MaryAnn678 Posts: 182 Member
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    :flowerforyou: SET GOALS TO STOP THE 'SELF-SABOTAGE'
  • MaryAnn678
    MaryAnn678 Posts: 182 Member
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    I've got the same thing going on with me and this morning realized that I did great yesterday then sabotaged myself by making a chocolate cake, I ate 2 pieces and I just reached my goal yesterday from what I was trying to lose since Thanksgiving. Now I weigh more this morning. I sometimes don't know what's wrong with me....???? Why do I do this?

    This morning I'm suppose to go to friends for lunch and I don't feel like I should eat. But I think the mini goals are something I'm going to set up right now.....NO SUGAR FOODS UNTIL I REACH A 5lb loss......no cake, no ice cream, no pastries. I usually save something sweet for me to eat at the end of the day, today I'm going to hold off of them until I lose that 5 lbs, then I'll be able to have one treat. Wish me luck.I wish everyone else GOOD LUCK IN YOUR EFFORTS TO STOP ' SELF-SABOTAGE' I really think it's a mental block we all have to work out and get through.

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