Kids can be so mean = (

JessicaBuff
JessicaBuff Posts: 233
edited October 5 in Health and Weight Loss
I was having a great night fellowshipping with people after church..This little boy that goes to church with us told my daughter that her mom is a big fat lady...= ( Talk about a MAJOR wake up call...Needless to say Im NEVER eating again...lol...But really though bout to kick it into high gear
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Replies

  • shovav91
    shovav91 Posts: 2,335 Member
    I'm so sorry that this happened. Although the child didn't mean it maliciously, it undoubtedly hurt. Don't go overboard with your diet because of this little hiccup- stay on track and do things the healthy way. You are beautiful; don't let a child with no filter get you down.
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
    Sorry you heard that. I can only imagine what his father is like.........
  • queenpushycat
    queenpushycat Posts: 762 Member
    :/ Yeah kids are blunt.. they have no idea that was hurtful. I have other kids telling me I can't sit in a seat because I am too fat.
  • mistresseeyore
    mistresseeyore Posts: 717 Member
    Kids usually say what they are taught. I can sympathize with you, my brother and Father dislike fat, especially fat on a woman. My niece asked my hubby why he "married such a fat person?" He said, "because I love her." My Mother is over weight and sat her down and talked to her about it.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    Sorry you heard that. I can only imagine what his father is like.........

    Wow, really? You know, even the best kids say things sometimes that their parents wish they didn't. It's our job to teach them, they don't come out of the womb knowing this stuff.

    To the OP, I am glad you have a sense of humor about it and took it as a motivator as well. You can do this! :smile:
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
    Ignore kids! Kids, teens, adults...everyone can be mean! Just focus on yourself and your goal. :) I've had my share of bad comment from dance and working at a daycare.
  • Rain_Howard
    Rain_Howard Posts: 155
    I just tell them yes, I'm fat. Did you know you're adopted because your real mommy and daddy didn't want to keep you?
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    Consider the source. The kid was just trying to hurt your daughter's feelings, or make himself feel better. Either way, take it for what it is: a dumb kid's comment. Don't let it get you down.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I just tell them yes, I'm fat. Did you know you're adopted because your real mommy and daddy didn't want to keep you?

    Oh no. Is that why I'm adopted? :sad:
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    Agree, not born knowing what to say and job as parents is to teach. Also agree, focus on you and not what others say... But what you think and know that you are doing the best that you can do.
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    Agree, not born knowing what to say and job as parents is to teach. Also agree, focus on you and not what others say... But what you think and know that you are doing the best that you can do. :flowerforyou:
  • PrincessEliNa
    PrincessEliNa Posts: 524 Member
    I just tell them yes, I'm fat. Did you know you're adopted because your real mommy and daddy didn't want to keep you?

    Ah, yes, because two wrongs make a right... :heart:
  • Iwillbemeagain
    Iwillbemeagain Posts: 163
    Sweetie, Im so sorry that happened to you, I had some ask me If I was pregnant last week. I m not. People are so rude....
  • Rain_Howard
    Rain_Howard Posts: 155
    I just tell them yes, I'm fat. Did you know you're adopted because your real mommy and daddy didn't want to keep you?

    Ah, yes, because two wrongs make a right... :heart:

    No. Because I'm a bad bad person.
  • chelsifina
    chelsifina Posts: 346 Member
    While kids can be blunt, I wouldn't take a child's appraisal of me as a wake up call because who knows why they say what they do sometimes. We never use the word "fat" as a negative word in our house, and our kids use it in a neutral way - "Mommy I love your belly because its fat and warm" or "Don't poke me in the heiney fat!" Whatever. Once my son asked me why some people have bumps and some are made of circles...which took me forever to understand as really muscular bodies and bodies that are round and possibly overweight. He had no judgement of either, but just noticed differences. Or this kid could be saying something just to bother your daughter without even having a real opinion about you. You know what you look like and what your goals are, and only your opinion matters anyway!
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
    girl whatever gets you going. It sucks, it's hard and it's a long hard battle that we all wish would happen faster. Hang in there and keep doing what makes you happy. Reach for fitness goals instead of comfort food. A year ago I was not very active and 32 lbs heavier (still have 20 to go) and yesterday I finished a Tri. Go girl go. You can do it if you want it. Give to yourself before you give to others (you know what I mean). That vacuuming can wait till you get a workout in. The dishes will get done. I'm not talking not feeding the kids :) Stick with it and set reasonable goals. I did 3 workouts for 3 weeks then added in the beginning. If I feel short I would start again. It's all a balancing act and you can do it.

    It's a challenge for sure and you're up for it or you wouldn't be here.
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
    All I have to say is I hope his parents' faces were crimson with embarrassment. If my child said something like that and I HEARD him/her say it... they'd have more than hell to fear (not really, but yeah, I'd be pissed). You're not a big fat lady, lol. No way. That boy is probably repeating some awful phrase that he heard just so he could make your little girl upset. Boys can be mean, but that's what mom's who raise their boys to be gentlemen are for :)

    Kick into high gear, of course! But not because some little kid made a needlessly rude comment. Because you're WORTH IT!
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
    sorry that happened. kids have no filters or qualms about what they are thinking and want to say. my friend ( who is a heavier lady) has a son and he told her the other day ," no mommy your not fat your a very very pretty elephant" lol darn kids!!!
  • Kslice39
    Kslice39 Posts: 146
    You got this girly! No worries ok? You are changing your life for the better, no matter what anyone says you are a beautiful person! Hold your head up high and use that as a motivator! I know it can be hard, people on this site have said hurtful things like that to me, but you CAN do this! :) kids are kids and have no filters, and people are people,no matter what age or gender they not all good and not all bad but you gotta take the good with the bad. Hopefully he will learn it is unkind to say mean things and judge others. But no worries because you got this!
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    I just tell them yes, I'm fat. Did you know you're adopted because your real mommy and daddy didn't want to keep you?

    Ahem. Adoptive mother to 2 beautiful little girls. Not cool.

    OP: Most likely not meant to be mean; probably just learning to process differences and lacks the vocabulary for a more tactful description. At 5'11", I'm the "really tall lady", but that wouldn't be seen as offensive, even though it's a comparable way to label someone, from a child's point of view. I just say "We are all wonderful in our own way."
  • denisegolden
    denisegolden Posts: 206 Member
    this reminded me of one time when my son and i were walking to the car after leaving target and two young boys were leaning out their car window and yelled out as loud as they could, "SHAMOOOOOOO"...my 9 year old son, looked up at me confused, asking, "what? what does that even mean?" he had no idea they were calling his mama fat...so i explained to him that they were not being good and were trying to convey a message that his mama is way overweight...and jajers, my son, says, "like you dont know that, they are just trying to hurt your feelings", then he paused and said, "people probably hurt their feelings too, thats why kids do that, right?"...one of those parenting moments when you wanna just cry cause your so proud that your child has remembered such a valuable lesson you tried to teach them. jajers saying that to me totally overruled any negative feelings from the situation!
  • skinnymeinaz
    skinnymeinaz Posts: 384 Member
    I don't think they really intend to be mean. I work in a preschool and had a child ask me if I was pregnant and I told him no I was just fat. He said "0h"
  • snapcult
    snapcult Posts: 15
    You should have pulled out your phone and pretended to take a picture, then got on it and said "Santa, I'm sending you a picture of a kid who said he didn't want any toys... Got it?, Ok thanks..." and then put it back in your pocket and walked away.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    ITT: KIds don't know any better then a bunch of adults on MFP turn into haters.


    Carry on.
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    Kids are MEAN! I work with kids aged 5-10 and some of them really go out of their way to try to be hurtful (I'm not exaggerating, they really work at you.) Well, not all of them, obviously...

    Don't let it get to you! You are doing a great job!
  • LethaSue
    LethaSue Posts: 285 Member
    This reminds me of a restaurant where there are gold fish in a big pond and people are supposed to watch their kids and not let them throw things in there or feed the fish or play in the water. One little boy was not being watched by his parents and was pestering the fish and so my husband said to his grown son in ear shot of this boy "Did you hear about the kid that lost his arm last week?" No said the son what happened?" "I heard he was sticking his arm in the water with the fish and something in the water jumped up and bit his arm off".
    I have passed by little kids and have over heard them say something ugly to their mother about me as well. Just makes you wish the person with them would tell them they got that fat from eatting mean little kids that said things about them being fat.
    But you know little kids are just that way, if they see a mole or a pimple or a defect of any kind on your face, they are innocent enough to just come right out and ask you what it is.
  • calmmomw3minimeez
    calmmomw3minimeez Posts: 499 Member
    Most kids just say the first thing that comes to mind without meaning any harm. On the other hand you have those that really are trying to be hurtful. I feel that they have not been taught better by their parents and maybe are trying to make someone else feel bad to make themselves feel better...Some adults are the same way! Please don't let this bother you. Whatever his reasons were, try to explain to you daughter that she doesn't need to let this bother her because her mom is strong, and NOTHING anyone says can hurt you. Don't let this get you down on yourself. You're doing great and there's nothing wrong with kicking into gear big time, just make sure that it's for YOU, good luck to you!!:smile:
  • JobasIsaacs
    JobasIsaacs Posts: 26 Member
    My daughter, Little Miss Four, said to me the other day "Daddy, your tummy is really fat. It's not as fat as it used to be, but it's still really fat." I think she meant it as a compliment but it was very hard to take it as such...
  • madisonsteelex
    madisonsteelex Posts: 295
    I understand where you're coming from, the four year olds I babysat this summer would call me a "fat pig". It really stinks
  • ratherbeskiing
    ratherbeskiing Posts: 847 Member
    I work with autistic kids/ behavioral kids in a psychiatric hospital- and they have NO FILTER.... at all.....and yes, I use to get told I was fat all the time. I just took it at motivation. I also use to tell them that just like they are working on their behavior I am working on my weight but just like their change it does not happen over night. If nothing else it is something that they can relate to... changing. Now they tell me I need to get my badge changed cuz it does not look like me. Now I tell them about the change and how it is a reminder of how I have changed and how I do not want to go back to the "old me."


    .... some get it some don't. don't take offense to it and use it as motivation.
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