Need advice - What would you do?
Long story short ...
I met a guy and started seeing him. He had a girlfriend of 5 years at the time so we broke it off. A couple of months later they split up and him and I started seeing each other properly.
Things were great up until a few weeks ago. He started speaking to her again and went weird with me. He then told me he told her he didnt want her, had never really loved her, and asked me to make things official with him. I agreed and was happy.
Then a few days later he called me and said he had to be single, he needed to sort himself out etc. I asked if they were getting back together and he said no, definitely not. He didnt love her anymore etc. They have 2 mortgages and a lot of other stuff so I know for a fact that if they got back together, it would be because it was easier. He even admitted that himself.
He was still sleeping with me up until less than a fortnight ago.
Yesterday, he changed his Facebook status to in a relationship with her. They've been back together for a good few weeks.
He's lied to her about how he knows me and stuff, and she has no idea he cheated on her with me months ago, and as recently as the past few weeks, she has no idea that I stayed at her house and slept in her bed, and also that he slept with her cousin - something he admitted to me.
I know the truth will never come out, he'll never tell her.
Should I tell her everything? Or walk away? Would you want to know?
I met a guy and started seeing him. He had a girlfriend of 5 years at the time so we broke it off. A couple of months later they split up and him and I started seeing each other properly.
Things were great up until a few weeks ago. He started speaking to her again and went weird with me. He then told me he told her he didnt want her, had never really loved her, and asked me to make things official with him. I agreed and was happy.
Then a few days later he called me and said he had to be single, he needed to sort himself out etc. I asked if they were getting back together and he said no, definitely not. He didnt love her anymore etc. They have 2 mortgages and a lot of other stuff so I know for a fact that if they got back together, it would be because it was easier. He even admitted that himself.
He was still sleeping with me up until less than a fortnight ago.
Yesterday, he changed his Facebook status to in a relationship with her. They've been back together for a good few weeks.
He's lied to her about how he knows me and stuff, and she has no idea he cheated on her with me months ago, and as recently as the past few weeks, she has no idea that I stayed at her house and slept in her bed, and also that he slept with her cousin - something he admitted to me.
I know the truth will never come out, he'll never tell her.
Should I tell her everything? Or walk away? Would you want to know?
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Replies
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I would go get yourself medically 'checked' out for anything... GEESH this guy cant keep his junk in his pants!!!!0
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Walk away...try running!
Yes I'd want to know...but not from the person he cheated with.0 -
God that sounds like my ex and i put up with this for 4 years :noway: Cramernh is right get yourself checked out, i personally would walk away, men like that will have there cake and eat it if you let them... and nobody deserves a man like that. Good luck x0
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WALK AWAY! Once a cheater, always a cheater. You know what he is now so you know not to touch him with a barge pole. She will find out soon enough what he is. So just walk away.0
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babe walk away and thank ya lucky stars you are not with a loser like that! karma will come bk and sting him in the butt secrets like that never stay covered, he will prob cheat on her again and get caught x0
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Long story short ...
I met a guy and started seeing him. He had a girlfriend of 5 years at the time so we broke it off. A couple of months later they split up and him and I started seeing each other properly.
Things were great up until a few weeks ago. He started speaking to her again and went weird with me. He then told me he told her he didnt want her, had never really loved her, and asked me to make things official with him. I agreed and was happy.
Then a few days later he called me and said he had to be single, he needed to sort himself out etc. I asked if they were getting back together and he said no, definitely not. He didnt love her anymore etc. They have 2 mortgages and a lot of other stuff so I know for a fact that if they got back together, it would be because it was easier. He even admitted that himself.
He was still sleeping with me up until less than a fortnight ago.
Yesterday, he changed his Facebook status to in a relationship with her. They've been back together for a good few weeks.
He's lied to her about how he knows me and stuff, and she has no idea he cheated on her with me months ago, and as recently as the past few weeks, she has no idea that I stayed at her house and slept in her bed, and also that he slept with her cousin - something he admitted to me.
I know the truth will never come out, he'll never tell her.
Should I tell her everything? Or walk away? Would you want to know?
Walk away and move on with your life, he will get what he deserves0 -
Ahh I don't know what to do!
I WANT to tell her, but I know I'd be telling her out of pure spite - I'll admit that!
I know for a fact she'll NEVER find out. He told me himself she thinks he's the perfect boyfriend.0 -
Ahh I don't know what to do!
I WANT to tell her, but I know I'd be telling her out of pure spite - I'll admit that!
I know for a fact she'll NEVER find out. He told me himself she thinks he's the perfect boyfriend.
Don't as he can sue your for defamation of character.0 -
i'd want to know, no matter who'd be the one to tell me.. but you have to ask yourself if you need the drama. probably best for you to just walk away.0
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Ahh I don't know what to do!
I WANT to tell her, but I know I'd be telling her out of pure spite - I'll admit that!
I know for a fact she'll NEVER find out. He told me himself she thinks he's the perfect boyfriend.
Don't as he can sue your for defamation of character.
I can guarantee he wouldn't go that far, he hasn't got the braincells for that!0 -
i'd want to know, no matter who'd be the one to tell me.. but you have to ask yourself if you need the drama. probably best for you to just walk away.
See the drama is exactly what I cba with. And the abusive messages he'll give me!0 -
Lisa,
how could he do this to you. Give him what he deserves... Just tell everything to that girl .
He cannot go on flirting and cheating girls like this..? Girls are not a material.. Pls go ahead.0 -
He sounds like a right tosser. Run as far away as possible and not being funny hun but starting a relationship with someone who is already in one is the basis for a disaster. I would forget him and move on.0
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Ahh I don't know what to do!
I WANT to tell her, but I know I'd be telling her out of pure spite - I'll admit that!
I know for a fact she'll NEVER find out. He told me himself she thinks he's the perfect boyfriend.
Don't as he can sue your for defamation of character.
I can guarantee he wouldn't go that far, he hasn't got the braincells for that!
Even so it is best you walk away. Guys don't like it when you move on with your life, they will hurt you and expect you to crawl back.0 -
I do not believe that every person falls into the category of "once a chester, always a cheater" first of all.
Secondly, please go have yourself medically checked out.
Third...Why do you want to tell her? Is it because you care about her feelings and the life she has with him? Or is it because you want to hurt her as you have been hurt?
If the reason is revenge...then just walk away.
If you care about her...then tell her.
It might also help if you put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if the guy was cheating on you?0 -
I do not believe that every person falls into the category of "once a chester, always a cheater" first of all.
Secondly, please go have yourself medically checked out.
Third...Why do you want to tell her? Is it because you care about her feelings and the life she has with him? Or is it because you want to hurt her as you have been hurt?
If the reason is revenge...then just walk away.
If you care about her...then tell her.
It might also help if you put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if the guy was cheating on you?
I plan to get checked out this week, don't worry.
I'm not going to lie. It's mostly spite. But to spite him. not her. Surely it is in her best interests, but tbh it's be the satisfaction of f*cking things up for him.
I'm sorry, that makes me sound like a horrible person. But why should I suffer and he shouldnt?! What a mess
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what you need to be prepared for is the fact that she might not believe you. Guys like this get very good at lying and convincing their girlfriend that this other woman is a crazy bitter ex just trying to break them up.
I've been in that situation, and until she finds out for herself, or from someone she trusts, chances are she will believe him over you0 -
Ahh I don't know what to do!
I WANT to tell her, but I know I'd be telling her out of pure spite - I'll admit that!
I know for a fact she'll NEVER find out. He told me himself she thinks he's the perfect boyfriend.
I think you best leave it she will probly knock you out to be fair there is nothing more lethal than a woman scorned. I doubt very much she said anything of the sort to him unless she is both blind and deaf. I would seriously worry about other things instead of him.0 -
what you need to be prepared for is the fact that she might not believe you. Guys like this get very good at lying and convincing their girlfriend that this other woman is a crazy bitter ex just trying to break them up.
I've been in that situation, and until she finds out for herself, or from someone she trusts, chances are she will believe him over you
I have months of texts, emails, facebook messages to back up everything I say. If she doesnt believe me it'd be because she's in denial because I could prove it.0 -
Ahh I don't know what to do!
I WANT to tell her, but I know I'd be telling her out of pure spite - I'll admit that!
I know for a fact she'll NEVER find out. He told me himself she thinks he's the perfect boyfriend.
I think you best leave it she will probly knock you out to be fair there is nothing more lethal than a woman scorned. I doubt very much she said anything of the sort to him unless she is both blind and deaf. I would seriously worry about other things instead of him.
Nah, she's far too timid for that. Whereas I'm the opposite, I'm not timid at all. I know he'd warn her not to go near me because he knows what I'm like. I'm the woman scorned just now!
I know what I'm coming across as here but I promise I'm a nice girl and a good person - I'm just really heartbroken 0 -
Ahh I don't know what to do!
I WANT to tell her, but I know I'd be telling her out of pure spite - I'll admit that!
I know for a fact she'll NEVER find out. He told me himself she thinks he's the perfect boyfriend.
Don't as he can sue your for defamation of character.
He can't sue for defamation of character if you've got PROOF that it's true.Still...don't waste your time with this. If she thinks he's the perfect boyfriend, then she might not even believe you. :grumble: Walk away, move on, and find someone who deserves you.0 -
WALK AWAY! Once a cheater, always a cheater. You know what he is now so you know not to touch him with a barge pole. She will find out soon enough what he is. So just walk away.
Very true! Put as much distance as you can between you and the entire situation. Karma will eventually get to him, and the other woman will see him for what he is!0 -
if you feel that strongly that you want to tell her then do it, then block him on facebook/email etc etc and dont respond to any contact from him. as other people have said, she probably wont believe you anyway, but at least you will have said your part.
guys like that arent worth it, the further away you are from it, the better!0 -
Walk away, saves unneeded drama she will learn soon enough!0
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Ahh I don't know what to do!
I WANT to tell her, but I know I'd be telling her out of pure spite - I'll admit that!
I know for a fact she'll NEVER find out. He told me himself she thinks he's the perfect boyfriend.
HE thinks. He is not a good guy. Walk away. I dated a guy who cheated on me and once I found out he talked his way back in to my life. I finally wised up when he got another girl pregnant. It is a hard thing to do. But in the long run, you will be happier. He is not a good guy, he thinks he is but he is NOT. No one deserves to be cheated on, No ONE. I know you are hurting but, Just wake up and realize he is not a good guy for you. Once a Cheater always a Cheater. But No one can tell you what to do ( I am proof of that) You have to want to do it and put into action. Hope you stand up for yourself and do better. Good Luck.0 -
If you tell her you're only going to hurt the one person in all of this who doesn't deserve to be hurt. Unlike you and her cousin she's done nothing wrong. Perhaps she deserves to know, but she doesn't deserve to hear it from you and you wouldn't be telling her for her benefit, you'd be telling her for your benefit. Walk away and chalk it up to experience and don't screw around with guys who are only looking to have their cake and eat it.0
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So he humiliated you and now you want to take revenge? Do you honestly think this will stop him from cheating? Be the better person and walk away.0
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Honey, she knows.
She and he have had a tumultuous relationship, she knows when they break up that he isn't sitting around waiting for her. She chooses to keep going back, but who knows what she is doing as well. Leave and let be. Don't look back and for goodness sake, make sure you don't choose someone fresh out of a long relationship again, that is such a red flag. Breaking up to be with you and then going back because of 'financial' reasons is not a keeper.
Ugh! You escaped, get checked out, use your head and go find a GOOD guy. DO NOT look back, because he will try and contact you...he is a cheater.0 -
Now is the time to step up and be the better person, walk away. You started seeing him knowing he had a girlfriend, you had to know exactly what was his like, his girlfriend already knows what he is like, it is likely that you were not the first person he cheated with while with his girlfriend.
Next time, choose someone who isn't in a relationship and is over any feelings he had for the girl/s in his previous relationship/s.
Don't make someone your priority when you are only an option to them.0 -
you get what you deserve, why on earth would you start any kind of a relationship with someone who is already in a five year one WITH mortgages and other commitments.
You were just a bit of ego feed for him, leave them both alone and go find someone AVAILABLE.0
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