friend driving me crazy what would you do?

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  • susanofscottsdale
    susanofscottsdale Posts: 114
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    You can explain to her that if you don't answer the first time, there is a reason and to please be patient with you and wait for a call back. I have had to do this with people before and it is very frustrating and annoying. She is putting her immediate needs over whatever you are doing. If she doesn't get this after you discuss it with her, start sending her calls to vm and she will get the hint. :)

    This sounds like a mature approach, that might both improve and preserve the relationship.
  • anjukins
    anjukins Posts: 103 Member
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    It sounds like my opinion isn't the common thread here, but... what's the big deal? she sounds lonely, and maybe a little socially awkward. you aren't under any obligation to talk to her all the time. If you enjoy spending time with her/talking to her on occasion, then do so on occasion. if you don't want to talk to her, don't answer your phone. If she texts you after calling, text her saying, "sorry, busy, talk to you later". This seems like a pretty trifling complaint. Are you just trying to justify ending the friendship? because if you don't want to be friends with her anymore, you aren't required to find a reason. And it isn't fair to her to make her feel like she's done something monstrously wrong when all she's doing is being a little overeager. and as a mom with two children, when I am "without kids", I am usually DESPERATE to find some high-quality grownup time. So... yeah. If you don't want to be her friend, then own up to that and cut ties compassionately. If you need her to back off, be honest. And if you're just letting yourself get irritated over one silly character flaw, then get over it and enjoy her company when you can.
  • GetMySkiniBack
    GetMySkiniBack Posts: 33
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    This is why I am anti-cell phone. I have always, even as a teenager, disliked talking on the phone. I just have not been able to buy into the over the top technology that a cell phone brings (and the privacy they take away!) My life isn't super-crazy-busy, so I don't need an iphone to make sure everyone and anyone can contact me at any time. I have a cell phone for the every-so-often I need to call or text someone, or for emerencies. I cannot sit and text an entire conversation to someone - I think it's crazy. I just let people know this, and most of my friends and family know that if they call, if I'm not around to pick up, they'll leave a message and I'll get back to them when I can. If it's an emergency, then they'll call my cell. I would just tell her this. If she doesn't stop, then give her the boot - then you know she's just desperate for attention.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    I have family members that do that crap. It's REALLY annoying. After I was chewed out for not answering my phone and a nasty argument with another immediate relative this is what I did.

    Spoke with immediate relative #1 and advised they do NOT pay my phone bill. If I don't feel like talking I don't pick up. Period.

    Advised both immediate relatives that I will NOT communicate via text, email or smoke signal. They have to call and leave a message, I will call them back at MY convenience.

    I get annoyed when people want to have serious or long drawn out discussions over a freakin' text message.

    Now I rarely hear from either immediate relative because they took offense to my boundaries. Too bad, so sad, I don't have time for that nonsense.
  • ZuzuNation
    ZuzuNation Posts: 2
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    Well, I don't think avoiding the issue is necessarily the answer. Having a sincere conversation with her could not only help relieve the irritating issue with you but it could also help her with other people who may not like confrontation. Doing so could ultimately lead to a win-win for all...meaning she will no longer irritate you OR other friends and end up with more people to talk to. She may have a few things against her, for example - trust, insecurities, as well as respect and boundary issues. She is not your #1 priority, nor should she be. She is your friend and you will call her back when you have the time to dedicate to her. Try selling it like that, "I will return your call. I do want to talk to you but I can't drop everything each time the phone rings. Not only when you call but when others do as well. Have a little faith." If she's doing this with you, she's doing it with others and probably alienating herself from them as a result!
  • livnlite
    livnlite Posts: 520
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    Yes, I agree. Most often, in casual friendships, there is a certain amount of unspoken understandings. In this case, perhaps, she is a little more dependant upon you for her entertainment because you are the one of the few people in the world she likes to spend time with. Have a heart to heart .. as friends do. Explain to her, exactly what you have explained here. If she is a friend, a true friend, she will understand.

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