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Where is the line?

Mallory0418
Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
Lately, it seems that if you're not full of yourself, you're naive. A lot of the time, I have to admit, when I hear people say "This person is staring at me. It's so annoying." My first thought is, "Uh, get off your high horse. They're probably not even looking at you." But I do know that, in some cases, the staring really is happening. But also, in other cases, the person really isn't being stared at, they just think they're the center of the world. Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to get concerned about being one or the other. Where is the middle ground?

Example: Someone I have never talked to before but see everyday at the gym stopped me and asked if that was me at a restaurant the day before. I said yes and he said, "I thought so but I wasn't sure because I'm not used to seeing you with your hair down." I didn't think anything of it, but a friend of mine later told me that it was totally creepy. That's what got me wondering, am I just naive? Or is my friend a little overly sensitive/confident? Is it possible to be somewhere in the middle with a perfect outlook to the world?? Oy...:ohwell:

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,469 Member
    I wouldn't have thought that was creepy. I also wouldn't assume they were looking at me for any other reason than because they thought they knew me.
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    How on earth is that creepy?
  • StrengthIDidntKnow
    StrengthIDidntKnow Posts: 543 Member
    I have no idea, but I am the type of person usually thinks if someone is staring at me there must be something wrong with me.

    As for your example, I don't think it is creepy at all.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I'm like you.. and I rather be "naive" than suspicious.

    I give everybody the benefit of the doubt and sometimes I've gotten burned for it but I don't want to walk around thinking everybody is up to something. That requires too much energy.
  • liveinthemix
    liveinthemix Posts: 360 Member
    Yeah..I don't think that's creepy..
  • Indy_Mario
    Indy_Mario Posts: 532 Member
    I've never understood female's definition of creepy...
  • I'm like you.. and I rather be "naive" than suspicious.

    I give everybody the benefit of the doubt and sometimes I've gotten burned for it but I don't want to walk around thinking everybody is up to something. That requires too much energy.

    ^^^ What she said.
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    I don't think this is creepy at all.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    No, that wasn't creepy. Pretty normal actually.
  • alicollins74
    alicollins74 Posts: 335 Member
    not creepy. that has happened to me before and I didn't think anything crazy about it...
  • SixCatFaerie
    SixCatFaerie Posts: 690 Member
    I wouldn't have thought that was creepy. I also wouldn't assume they were looking at me for any other reason than because they thought they knew me.

    Yep...
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    Lately, it seems that if you're not full of yourself, you're naive. A lot of the time, I have to admit, when I hear people say "This person is staring at me. It's so annoying." My first thought is, "Uh, get off your high horse. They're probably not even looking at you." But I do know that, in some cases, the staring really is happening. But also, in other cases, the person really isn't being stared at, they just think they're the center of the world. Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to get concerned about being one or the other. Where is the middle ground?

    Example: Someone I have never talked to before but see everyday at the gym stopped me and asked if that was me at a restaurant the day before. I said yes and he said, "I thought so but I wasn't sure because I'm not used to seeing you with your hair down." I didn't think anything of it, but a friend of mine later told me that it was totally creepy. That's what got me wondering, am I just naive? Or is my friend a little overly sensitive/confident? Is it possible to be somewhere in the middle with a perfect outlook to the world?? Oy...:ohwell:


    That wasn't creepy. If I see someone in school for months or years and never said anything...heck yea I would notice/know them outside of that environment. As Pres Regan said, "Trust but Verify," I say, "Be Cordial and Cautious!"
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I don't think your example is creepy either, and the idea that a guy can't even say what this guy said to you without someone thinking he's a creep is really disheartening to me. These days, men really can't win, no matter what they do.

    As for staring, it depends on the context and the duration. Some places are prime people-watching spots (e.g. airports, malls, public transit, etc.), and you just have to accept that unless you're very, very average-looking, you're going to be stared at if you're going to hang out in those places. Also, I don't think it's creepy if a guy looks my way for a few seconds. But I recently had a guy watch me walk the entire length of a parking lot, and, frankly, it scared me.
  • If someone is looking at me, I don't think about it at all. I just assume they are nosy I guess...but it has never bothered me.

    I used to be SUPER naive...until I moved to LA. Now I surprise myself with how much I see others' alterior motives. I actually have a little more respect for myself now. Ignorance isn't really bliss sometimes.

    But in your example, I don't think you were being naive. Your friend seems a little paranoid.
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
    I didn't either and I was really confused as to why my friend thought that. It makes me feel bad for guys out there, honestly. I hear women complain so much that they can't find a "nice guy" but how can they when a lot of guys are too afraid to be "creepy" to be a nice guy! Granted, I have had my fair share of encounters with legit CREEPERS, but really, the generalization of the male gender has got to stop. Yes, getting creeped out sucks, but don't let that deter your outlook on every other guy in the world! Common sense, and common courtesy, let's use those.
  • Kslice39
    Kslice39 Posts: 146
    i dont understand how this is creepy at all. He probably, like he said, couldnt really tell if it was you or not so he didnt say hi. Ive done that when i thought it was someone i knew i went over and was like "hey...oh hi lol sry i thought you were someone else" and then i felt like a tard lol. he was probably just trying to avoid a situation like that. i think your friend is a little too sensitive lol. He was just trying to be nice and there is nothing creepy about that lol it about time a guy had the guts to walk up and say something!!! lol kudos to him!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    about time a guy had the guts to walk up and say something!!! lol kudos to him!

    This. Most guys are so afraid of being branded a stalker these days that they won't say anything, and it's because of girls going all "OMG, that guy breathed in my general direction! He's going to kill me and feed me to the poor!"
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
    about time a guy had the guts to walk up and say something!!! lol kudos to him!

    This. Most guys are so afraid of being branded a stalker these days that they won't say anything, and it's because of girls going all "OMG, that guy breathed in my general direction! He's going to kill me and feed me to the poor!"

    Yes, to all of this!
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    I don't think your example is creepy either, and the idea that a guy can't even say what this guy said to you without someone thinking he's a creep is really disheartening to me. These days, men really can't win, no matter what they do.

    Thank you.
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    The only thing creepy about your story is your friend being so dang paranoid.
  • Libby81
    Libby81 Posts: 734 Member
    I don't think it sounds creepy at all either. Maybe it has an element of flirting and maybe that's why your friend was funny about it because he signled you out not her.

    I agree that men do have a tough time now and ladies are too quick to judge a stranger
  • Seminolegirl97
    Seminolegirl97 Posts: 306 Member
    I don't think that is creepy. I travelled for my job for 10 years and have met a 1000 people. I have a tendency to think i recognize someone from somewhere and always want to say hi or confirm, "Hey is that you". I'm acused of staring but I'm staring to remember the person. He sounds like he was just being nice.
  • Recognizing someone at a place other than where you usually see them is being a creeper now? I don't think so.

    Tell your friend she needs to chill out.
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
    about time a guy had the guts to walk up and say something!!! lol kudos to him!

    This. Most guys are so afraid of being branded a stalker these days that they won't say anything, and it's because of girls going all "OMG, that guy breathed in my general direction! He's going to kill me and feed me to the poor!"

    He's feeding the poor? He may be creepy, but at least he's a nice guy. Give him a shot. :laugh: :laugh:
  • I'd have thought that was a little creepy.. but i'm extremely paranoid and suspicious of others.. and i hate being looked at..
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
    I'd have thought that was a little creepy.. but i'm extremely paranoid and suspicious of others.. and i hate being looked at..

    Interesting to get a new perspective. Please don't think I'm being condescending, because I promise you that is not my intention, but what makes you think that is creepy? I'm only asking because when I asked my friend why it was creepy the response I got was, "It just is." So I'm honestly just curious about how this situation looks from your point of vew.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Lately, it seems that if you're not full of yourself, you're naive. A lot of the time, I have to admit, when I hear people say "This person is staring at me. It's so annoying." My first thought is, "Uh, get off your high horse. They're probably not even looking at you." But I do know that, in some cases, the staring really is happening. But also, in other cases, the person really isn't being stared at, they just think they're the center of the world. Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to get concerned about being one or the other. Where is the middle ground?

    Example: Someone I have never talked to before but see everyday at the gym stopped me and asked if that was me at a restaurant the day before. I said yes and he said, "I thought so but I wasn't sure because I'm not used to seeing you with your hair down." I didn't think anything of it, but a friend of mine later told me that it was totally creepy. That's what got me wondering, am I just naive? Or is my friend a little overly sensitive/confident? Is it possible to be somewhere in the middle with a perfect outlook to the world?? Oy...:ohwell:

    Is it creepy that I opened up your profile to look at your pics?
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
    Lately, it seems that if you're not full of yourself, you're naive. A lot of the time, I have to admit, when I hear people say "This person is staring at me. It's so annoying." My first thought is, "Uh, get off your high horse. They're probably not even looking at you." But I do know that, in some cases, the staring really is happening. But also, in other cases, the person really isn't being stared at, they just think they're the center of the world. Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to get concerned about being one or the other. Where is the middle ground?

    Example: Someone I have never talked to before but see everyday at the gym stopped me and asked if that was me at a restaurant the day before. I said yes and he said, "I thought so but I wasn't sure because I'm not used to seeing you with your hair down." I didn't think anything of it, but a friend of mine later told me that it was totally creepy. That's what got me wondering, am I just naive? Or is my friend a little overly sensitive/confident? Is it possible to be somewhere in the middle with a perfect outlook to the world?? Oy...:ohwell:

    Is it creepy that I opened up your profile to look at your pics?

    Now I'm not sure...let me go ask some people...
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    Your friend is hella paranoid. You see the guy at the gym on a regular basis. Even if you dont chat, obviously you see each other.
This discussion has been closed.