dinner at the in-laws...

I sorry that you have to go through this.

I guess I'm lucky, well in the sense that I'm a very picky eater and everyone knows it. So when I say I'm sorry I don't care to eat that, and I bring different food...no one even notices.

I hope that you can be that comfortable around your MIL someday. :flowerforyou:

Hugs
Crystal

I say indulge it's only one day. Don't feel guilty again it's only one day. The rest of the week you do fine. Enjoy your time there don't make it something you dread. Try a little of everything and then get up from the table or always have a tall glass of water in front of you and when you want to grab more grab the water instead.

Again.... Enjoy it!!:happy:

I've read a ton of posts about buffets and cocktail parties and birthday cake woes and office goodies and tons of other social situations that sabatoge our efforts. It's always been easy to say, "Just drink water before you go" or "don't eat while you're there" or "take a snack." What a delimma. My heart goes out to you.

Now, for my real thoughts on the topic: :laugh: I would disagree that your inlaws are offering support and then setting you up for failure by preparing dinners of this type. Everyone in the world can probably stand to eat healthier, and that includes mother in laws. Can you spell sabatage???? Also, this seems to be a case of you having to take control, like it or not, of YOUR eating and not use it as an excuse to overeat. And, I looked at your profile and you are losing weight, even with these high calorie meals and it seems like you are doing what you can to counteract them. Kudos to you for all of the good choices you make during the week.

I can make a bunch of suggestions, like send your mother in law some new trecipe to try that is low calorie or low fat and ask her to try them. We did that in our family with vegetarian dishes to try to add variety for the kids, one vegetarian meal a week. I understand the importance of this family bonding time and want to share one little story. I worked as a teacher for Head Start and for almost two years this little boy would stop at McDonald's with his grandpa on the way to school, so he wouldn't eat at school. I whined at the grandpa everyday for the entire almost two years and he said he was going to do it anyway, so I had to change my opinions on it. One day the grandpa came to school and said he was diagnosed with cancer on the Monday before, like the day before school. He died two weeks later. You bet that after that experience I changed the way I approached this topic. Years later, Spencer still talks about the lunches he had with Grandpa.

If you've only been at this for a couple of months, you may find that you are weak right now, however as you see more progress, you may find strength you did not think you had. What was once delicious looking may one day be revolting. Hang in there and keep talking with your mother in law and do see about offering some alternative meal choices. Maybe each sibling could take a turn offering an idea. I know my mom always asks what we want when we go to visit and if it's meatloaf and saurkraut cake, that's what we get. The guilt you are feeling may actually be your inner strength saying, "hey, what are you doing, don't eat that." And you know what they say about the voice of God....He doesn't shout from the rooftops, you have to be still and quiet and He'll whisper to you.

Wow. That IS quite the ordeal. If it was once a month, it would probably be fine, but once a week! Wow. That's tough!!!

I agree that you should perhaps try to bring your own food. It will be hard, but at least you can eat with everyone. Bring a main dish that is a low cal protein (pork chops or fish or even chicken) and lots of veggies and low cal snacks.

I also think that maybe you could ask your mother in law to try low-cal recipes, but again, that depends on your relationship with her. Also, often people think that eating healthy doesn't taste good, but I tend to disagree. I often find healthy food to be just as good if not better, when prepared correctly.

I don't envy you.

Good luck!

I would also suggest that you should bring something for everyone that you can fill up on and is healthy. Even if it is a tray of veggies for appetizer, a salad, a really delicious veggie side dish or a dessert. At least then you will look like a hospitable guest and you can portion everything else smaller and fill up on what you brought. Maybe you should suggest pot lucks and this would take burden off the in laws and everyone can make a different dish. Also if you have ever tried shirataki spaghetti and you like it you can bring that instead of pasta for yourself. it is so much lower in calories than regular pasta and takes a second to prepare, you can rinse it off at home and stick it in a ziploc and then just pour hot pasta sauce on top Good luck

If you really want to be successful in losing weight you have to sort out a permanent solution - which isn't to indulge yourself for one day. If you do that it is more difficult to get back on track the next day too. You simply should explain to her that you want to lose weight and that means that you can't eat the food she is giving you. Take your own food (you know what is in it then!!) and if necessary for your wellbeing, eat it in another room while they are pigging out on their fatty rubbish.

I find that some people always try to sabotage what you are doing (either on purpose or don't realise it). YOU know what you want to achieve - don't let ANYONE get in your way. Good luck!

Pam - you did awesome!! As was said before you don't go to a family gathering to eat in the other room. Maybe when dessert rolls around you can ask for 1/2 slice? That way you can enjoy it but not have ALL the calories. I don't really think your in-laws are trying to sabotage you. I think that is too harsh of a judgment. I think they just love their kids and spouses and this is one of the ways they show it - by making wonderful meals. It takes a lot of time and thought to do that. You are eating healthier and I think you can make this work - it will be a mental challenge most of all! You did great this time and I bet you will figure out ways to improve as time goes on without alienating anyone and without totally sabatoging yourself. Good job! :bigsmile:

I looked at your profile and saw that you have lost 23 pounds so far. That is fantastic! You should be very proud. From what I can gather, you have lost all that weight even with dinner at your in-laws. Apparently, these dinners are not hurting your physical progress. It sounds like more of a psychological impediment.

My advice is to relax! Enjoy your weekly dinners. Try to eat small portions of everything. Although that's easier said than done! If it makes you feel better, fit in some extra workout time beforehand.