My mom insulted me!

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Replies

  • vger11
    vger11 Posts: 248
    "...this is the first time in my life that my mother has ever suggested that I have weight to lose."
    As a mother....your mother is trying to support you in whatever you choose to do. You are the one that brought it up that you wanted to lose 5-10, she was only agreeing with you. I guarantee it was not meant in a negative way at all. Just a mother supporting you.

    I agree that your mother did not suggest you lose weight, she simply agreed with your comment. Hope you clear these touchy feelings before you get married! lol...men are horrid, sometimes, for stating, agreeing and even suggesting the obvious.
  • alerica1
    alerica1 Posts: 310 Member
    My mom hates me, seriously, she does. :(
  • heaybar
    heaybar Posts: 24 Member
    She was probably just agreeing with you. Still though there are things you do NOT say to a woman in a wedding dress even if you were the on e who said it yourself.
  • vanessaclarkgbr
    vanessaclarkgbr Posts: 731 Member
    You know your Mum better than anyone but could she have been teasing? My daughter and I speak to each other like that all the time, but when we are having a bad day the other will always jump in to say you look beautiful, you have great legs etc etc - but we are close so do do the banter a bit - now I'm worried I may have messed about on a bad day and offended her some time..eekk...will ask!!

    I'm hoping she didn't mean it and it was just banter xx
  • KarenG1213
    KarenG1213 Posts: 24
    Maybe your Mom doesn't think you need to lose any, but was just trying to say, "if you think you need to lose any....no more than 10"....
  • Rogiefreida
    Rogiefreida Posts: 567 Member
    I have to get this off my chest, because it's really bugging me. Once I vent, I'm sure I'll be fine.

    So here's what happened. On Friday, I went to pick up my wedding dress. It fits me, but was just a little tight (it's also my TOM so I'm massively bloated). Not really a big deal, but it kind of became one since my dress is somewhat complicated to fasten. So I started feeling discouraged when my mom was trying to fasten it and since she couldn't see what she was doing, she kept pulling the dress tighter and tighter to fasten the tiny hook and eye closures to the point where I thought the dress didn't fit at all (it did fit, once it was fastened it fit fine. She was pulling it tight to try and connect the hook and eyes). I mentioned something about wanting to lose 5-10 pounds before the wedding (next spring), and she says, "well, 10 would probably be good".

    WTF? My mom is not the type to say something like this. I know it's not a big deal, but it hurt my feelings. I'm mad that I'm even letting it bug me, but I've been working really hard to get in shape, and haven't lost a lot of weight, but I never had much to lose in the first place. My main goal has been to tone up and get healthier and stronger. And I've done that. I'm not done yet, but this is the first time in my life that my mother has ever suggested that I have weight to lose. I realize as I'm typing that it is silly to be bothered by this, but I seriously needed to get it out of me, so I can move on and worry about being healthy and looking good for me, not her.

    For anyone who reads this, thanks for listening. :)


    OMG!!! GET OVER IT! YOU asked a question and WHAT...you wanted her to Lie or act dumb and say nothing?! A friend of mine once said that "young people these days can't fight their way out of a paper bag." NOW, I am beginning to get what she was saying...if something is not cusshy, mussy, and in their favor they get "upset" which means BAD COPING SKILLS! If YOU think AGREEING with YOU about losing 10 is an Insult, your Mom's fault is that she didn't give you enough autonomy to develop GOOD Coping Skills.

    It was just a rant, because for me, it helps to put my thoughts in writing. If my post bugs you, then DON'T READ IT. I clearly stated that the post was to help me vent and clear my head.

    And I think my coping skills are just fine. I learned a lot about how to cope with messy and unpleasant things when I had cancer. Just because this post helped me and it wouldn't have helped you doesn't make it wrong.
  • reddebsings
    reddebsings Posts: 57
    look at it this way... this happened while you were being fitted for a WEDDING dress.... so obviously someone already finds you beautiful just how you are.

    Now im heading back to the gym to sweat my butt off so maybe i can get a friggin DATE ever once in a while!!! heheheh.
    GREAT thought bruthacuervo: "someone already finds you beautiful just how you are"! Also, Rogiefrieda, keep in mind that mom may be going through some stress of her own in addition to the stress related to getting ready for your wedding! Be glad you still have her in your life and that she wants to do things with you and for you! ...and feel free to vent any time you feel the need - don't let any naysayers or negative types keep you from it! We're here for you!
  • wolf23
    wolf23 Posts: 4,268 Member
    You mentioned it is not typical for your mom to comment on your weight and seeing she was having difficultly clasping your dress, she was most likely agreeing with you, so when your wedding rolls around you will be comfortable doing all the wonderful things one does in a wedding dress such as dancing, posing for pictures and mingling. I would not look too deep into it, I am sure you will look beautiful!
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    Ahhhhhh you wanted her to say that you do not need to lose weight. That<s what happen when you fish for compliments. You mom can<t read your mind and she was probably trying to be supportive.
  • JunkFoodJane
    JunkFoodJane Posts: 150 Member
    Maybe your Mom doesn't think you need to lose any, but was just trying to say, "if you think you need to lose any....no more than 10"....

    This is what I was going to say.
  • js16916
    js16916 Posts: 1
    Mother's and Daughters have a love/hate relationship. You love your mother and she loves you, she just know what buttons to push. You know she wants you to be happy and wants the best for you, but it doesn't always come across like that!! Don't worry about it.. she is probably mentally beating herself up for saying it to you. Spring is a long way off... don't worry about losing weight, your did say your dress fit! Just concentrate on being happy, planning your wedding and getting to a place where YOU want to be, no one else... not your Mom....not your fiance. Good Luck!
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