Men, what do you really think?

Options
xhaller
xhaller Posts: 95
in Motivation and Support
We hear all the time that society sets a higher beauty standard for women then men actually care about. My question is, Is that really true? If your wife is overweight, are you less ssexually attracted to her? If your girlfriend is self-conscious because she doesn't have Victoria Secret model-size breasts, does that really bother you? If your partner is skinny but not super toned, do you really even notice or care at all?

I don't want to make huge gender stereotypes here. I don't think all men or women feel the same about this issue. And for that record, if we have lesbians on this page, feel free to weigh in as well.

Is it true that self confidence and a smile really go as far as a great body?

I'll say that I might be aware of the fact that my husband is not stereotypically perfect but it does not bother me the least. I still want to get naked with him as much as I did five years ago when we met. So then I wonder why I worry that he doesn't feel the same way. I'm wondering if these insecurites are more in our heads and not really carried by the people we love.

What do you think? I do realize there are societal standards that are unrealistic for men too, but this questions isn't about that. I want to see some men respond!
«13

Replies

  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
    Options
    Bump bumpety bump bump! Honest answers only though because otherwise we will all live in denial!!!!
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    Options
    Doesn't bother me. But I'm attracted to very fit looking woman. But I realize that segment of women(and men) is like 1%.

    I can seperate the fantasy from reality.
  • RollinDawg
    RollinDawg Posts: 235 Member
    Options
    Nice smile, a sense of humor and some confidence work for me.
  • unmitigatedbadassery
    unmitigatedbadassery Posts: 653 Member
    Options
    Yes. You make it out to be far more than it is. It's not your fault though, the media has a lot to do with it. Most men are just happy to be NEAR a woman.

    A fit woman (or man) is generally more attractive because it shows that they care about themselves and have a positive outlook on life. That's not always the case but there you have it.
  • xhaller
    xhaller Posts: 95
    Options
    Yes. You make it out to be far more than it is. It's not your fault though, the media has a lot to do with it. Most men are just happy to be NEAR a woman.

    :laugh: This is so refreshing!
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    Options
    I am VERY attracted to my guy. He has a little belly ( so he says ) but I think he is HOT HOT HOT. If he gained 10 lbs - I wouldnt notice a difference. Honestly, I like my men "chubby buff"

    I am definately more of a face/personality girl when it comes to relationships. But, do I love the beefed up Gorillas I get to google at while I run on the treadmill? You know I do!
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
    Options
    I agree. We've been married 10 years. My hubby, while he appreciates a nice looking woman, doesn't love me any less because I am overweight. He still chases me around like a teenager every chance he gets. I certainly don't get it. I mean, I"m not pretty or thin or anything. I'm pretty sure that I am unattractive. I don't wear makeup or do anything special to my hair. Yet he gives me every indication that I am.

    Of course, I'm the same way with him too. He's not like model or anything, since he's been sick he's gained weight and lost muscle. But I still want him just as much as when we got married.

    I think some of it is in my head at least. I don't know about anyone else.
  • ML0305
    ML0305 Posts: 227 Member
    Options
    I feel the same way and eventhough I dont see my self as perfect and have many issues with my body, my husband thinks I am perfect just the way I am and I love him for that!!!

    I do believe that the media has a lot of fault to some extent about the way we see ourselves and how we beat ourselves up every now and then but what we dont see is that "those models" dont look like that way all the time. Theres a whole lot that is covered up. But we are who we are and a little change doesnt hurt anyone but in the end this is who we are and we should appreciate and love ourselves even if we dont consider ourselves "perfect"!!!
  • rochey1098
    rochey1098 Posts: 285
    Options
    Short answer, not especially as love is quite blind. Long answer is it all depends, if the person you're with hates overweight people and you put on weight then that's that really, Sylvester Stallone comes to mind.

    Top thing to note here is i've never met a guy that prefers fake to real anything, face, boobs, personality. I'd say a guy is much more interested in a girl who is genuine and sweet than a nightmare of a high maintenance supermodel but we wouldn't tell that to our mates up the pub ;)
  • _tiifyjo_
    _tiifyjo_ Posts: 118 Member
    Options
    bump... wanna get inside the male mind.
  • tubie22
    tubie22 Posts: 24
    Options
    I agree. We've been married 10 years. My hubby, while he appreciates a nice looking woman, doesn't love me any less because I am overweight. He still chases me around like a teenager every chance he gets. I certainly don't get it. I mean, I"m not pretty or thin or anything. I'm pretty sure that I am unattractive. I don't wear makeup or do anything special to my hair. Yet he gives me every indication that I am.

    That's true love :smile:
    And by the way, I think you're pretty :flowerforyou:
  • jefskott99
    jefskott99 Posts: 4
    Options
    Yes to the last statement (and no attack on you at all). The insecurities we have about ourselves are often not even considered by our partners, husbands or wives (it goes both ways). A lot of these come about because we haven't exactly let that person know in a clear way that "This is what I want, and I am hoping this (me, you, etc.) is what you want." That can't be murky. Hope is not a good advance on your other half.

    Let me go in order on the rest...

    1. Yes, guys care about beauty.
    2. No, I'm not less sexually attracted to my wife because she's heavier than she was when we married - it is actually, and surprisingly making her more attractive (she's about 30 pounds heavier - which at nearly six feet tall, just adds to curvier).
    3. Victoria Secret models don't do it for me. I like real people, who actually look like they have souls. <snark>
    4. Yes, self-confidence and a smile really go quite aways. My wife may NOT be as attractive as I think she is, but perception is reality, and unless someone can prove otherwise, she's gorgeous. And, I'm not looking for that little gnome who can prove otherwise. :)
    5. Back to the last point, which is our cycles aren't always right where we'd like them to be...morning might be better for him to be into you...maybe evening...that's something you need to figure out. Maybe there are some issues, and maybe they are physical, but they could also be other than physical, which means some good talking to be had.

    Hope this helps.
  • daunna1013
    daunna1013 Posts: 26
    Options
    I think after we have fallen in love with that person we always see the person we fell in love with. I never see an extiroir change in my husband. He is always just the man i fell in love with in my eyes. I never put more thought into it than that. I believe i probably works the same way around for them, we just over analyze it, and our bodies for that matter lol
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
    Options
    We hear all the time that society sets a higher beauty standard for women then men actually care about. My question is, Is that really true?

    Not true, there's just as much pressure on guys as there is on girls anymore.
    Is it true that self confidence and a smile really go as far as a great body?

    Confidence and a smile are nice, but it's no match for a tight body.
  • xhaller
    xhaller Posts: 95
    Options
    Yes to the last statement (and no attack on you at all). The insecurities we have about ourselves are often not even considered by our partners, husbands or wives (it goes both ways). A lot of these come about because we haven't exactly let that person know in a clear way that "This is what I want, and I am hoping this (me, you, etc.) is what you want." That can't be murky. Hope is not a good advance on your other half.

    Let me go in order on the rest...

    1. Yes, guys care about beauty.
    2. No, I'm not less sexually attracted to my wife because she's heavier than she was when we married - it is actually, and surprisingly making her more attractive (she's about 30 pounds heavier - which at nearly six feet tall, just adds to curvier).
    3. Victoria Secret models don't do it for me. I like real people, who actually look like they have souls. <snark>
    4. Yes, self-confidence and a smile really go quite aways. My wife may NOT be as attractive as I think she is, but perception is reality, and unless someone can prove otherwise, she's gorgeous. And, I'm not looking for that little gnome who can prove otherwise. :)
    5. Back to the last point, which is our cycles aren't always right where we'd like them to be...morning might be better for him to be into you...maybe evening...that's something you need to figure out. Maybe there are some issues, and maybe they are physical, but they could also be other than physical, which means some good talking to be had.

    Hope this helps.

    Thanks for the very thoughful reply!
  • caterpillar2Butterfly
    caterpillar2Butterfly Posts: 134
    Options
    bump
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,682 Member
    Options
    I deal with great looking females everyday. Even get hit on and majorly flirted with. It's nice to look at, but looks don't always mean happiness.




    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • LadyMarylou
    LadyMarylou Posts: 43 Member
    Options
    bump!
  • Classalete
    Classalete Posts: 464 Member
    Options
    Males can set a high standard for themselves also...
  • KriscoOil
    KriscoOil Posts: 305 Member
    Options
    Yes to the last statement (and no attack on you at all). The insecurities we have about ourselves are often not even considered by our partners, husbands or wives (it goes both ways). A lot of these come about because we haven't exactly let that person know in a clear way that "This is what I want, and I am hoping this (me, you, etc.) is what you want." That can't be murky. Hope is not a good advance on your other half.

    Let me go in order on the rest...

    1. Yes, guys care about beauty.
    2. No, I'm not less sexually attracted to my wife because she's heavier than she was when we married - it is actually, and surprisingly making her more attractive (she's about 30 pounds heavier - which at nearly six feet tall, just adds to curvier).
    3. Victoria Secret models don't do it for me. I like real people, who actually look like they have souls. <snark>
    4. Yes, self-confidence and a smile really go quite aways. My wife may NOT be as attractive as I think she is, but perception is reality, and unless someone can prove otherwise, she's gorgeous. And, I'm not looking for that little gnome who can prove otherwise. :)
    5. Back to the last point, which is our cycles aren't always right where we'd like them to be...morning might be better for him to be into you...maybe evening...that's something you need to figure out. Maybe there are some issues, and maybe they are physical, but they could also be other than physical, which means some good talking to be had.

    Hope this helps.

Categories