Ugly Secrets - Who Motivates you?

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  • wyangel
    wyangel Posts: 36
    Nah, this is 2011 ladies. dads buy their kids tits! They might not take them to the consultations, wait while they have it done and then help clean and dress the wounds but the do PAY for it all to be done. Where do you think Paris Hilton got hers? Yeah her Mum might have taken her to the hospital but Daddy bought them! ;)
    My husband is taking the opposite approach. We have 4 daughters and after the triplets were born he said ''thats it, 4 girls, Daddy needs to buy himself a shotgun!!!'

    I love your husband's thinking!
  • kunibob
    kunibob Posts: 608 Member
    I'm ashamed to admit that I understand. I'm usually rambling on about how our competitiveness with one another is anti-feminist, blahblahblah, and unfortunately I do get that way sometimes, too. :laugh: Drives me nuts!

    For example: there is a friend of mine who ran a half marathon with only a couple weeks of very mild training, and she had a pretty decent time. I have been training for awhile now and deep down, I am terrified that I'm not going to beat her time.

    I hate this for a couple reasons:
    1) she's a very, very awesome gal and I would prefer to celebrate her accomplishment instead of judge her for not preparing "hard enough"
    2) my first half should be about ME, not about some arbitrary time...there will always be people who are naturally good runners!

    Still, this ugly little part of me is using this nugget of pure jealousy as motivation.

    I'm trying to let go and move on, because I recognize that anything like this is motivated by my own insecurities, but no matter how mature I get in life, there's still this catty little part of myself that doesn't shut up sometimes! Stupid ego. :grumble: :wink:
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    I'm ashamed to admit that I understand. I'm usually rambling on about how our competitiveness with one another is anti-feminist, blahblahblah, and unfortunately I do get that way sometimes, too. :laugh: Drives me nuts!

    For example: there is a friend of mine who ran a half marathon with only a couple weeks of very mild training, and she had a pretty decent time. I have been training for awhile now and deep down, I am terrified that I'm not going to beat her time.

    I hate this for a couple reasons:
    1) she's a very, very awesome gal and I would prefer to celebrate her accomplishment instead of judge her for not preparing "hard enough"
    2) my first half should be about ME, not about some arbitrary time...there will always be people who are naturally good runners!

    Still, this ugly little part of me is using this nugget of pure jealousy as motivation.

    I'm trying to let go and move on, because I recognize that anything like this is motivated by my own insecurities, but no matter how mature I get in life, there's still this catty little part of myself that doesn't shut up sometimes! Stupid ego. :grumble: :wink:

    And this is exactly what I am talking about! it isnt about being just like someone, comparing yourself to them, deep inner issues, or self esteem issues. It is more of a battle with yourself. You see something you like at the store? you want to buy it. You see a girl with a banging body, and you want that banging body to. To attract men? nope. To make other jealous of you? nope. So you feel like a million bucks? Hell yes.

    Oh, and yes to make other jealous and attract men!!! :):laugh:
  • laurelderry
    laurelderry Posts: 384 Member
    So where is her pics? LOL

    I bet she writes on her message boards that she has this friend JennaMarie who has a gorgeous smile and eyes she would kill to have. Wonder if Daddy's Credit Card can get her that.... :wink:

    YES!! I was thinking the same thing! Great minds :)
  • laurelderry
    laurelderry Posts: 384 Member
    Oh yeah... and I'm secretly motivated by some friends of a friend that were bouncing around on a beach in Santa Barbara last summer while I was 6 months preggo looking like a beached whale on that same beach. I wasn't able to get back in shape to look great this summer- but now I'm down to pre preg and I want to look a MILLION times better than them... ;)
  • cubsgirlinny
    cubsgirlinny Posts: 282 Member
    I've had an on-again-off-again crush on a guy from church for a while now. We have a lot in common; church values, love of baseball,same taste in films and music, friends, ect. Recently, I shared the existence of my crush with a mutual friend. I said, "I wish he'd just ask me out already." She matter-of-factly said, "Well, that's probably not going to happen," and proceeded to describe the women he's dated or shown interest in previously. He is not my motivation. But the way in which she said it to me was essentially 'you're not dating because you're fat.' It hurt! People question whether it's "for you or for attention." Well, I like attention. I miss the days when I turned heads and wanted men to pay attention to my mind. Yes, I want to feel better. I want to be healthier. But I also want to be asked out and change the vacancy status of my left ring finger.
  • KayteeBear
    KayteeBear Posts: 1,040 Member
    Hmm, I can't really compare to friends my size. I only have a very small number of friends around my size (okay only like one or two...lol one is like only smaller by literally a few inches and the other used to have the same measurements as me but she's got a much small frame...her ribcage is like 4 inches smaller than mine and that's bone...that aint changing honey haha). I do have friends who have nice awesome skinny *kitten* bodies but I know I'll never ever get there because it's just physically impossible for me to do so. But I don't honestly want to be their size since I like having curves more anyway.
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
    I was the 'fat kid' most of the way through school. I've been a minor hottie a couple of times but always let life trip me up. So,,, I've been both attractive AND unattractive, and I know that it's way more fun to be attractive.

    I'm also starting to feel middle age knocking,,, my beard is really grey, but a 6pack don't lie and hot grampa's are still hot. (sorta:laugh: ).
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I wanted to be able to beat my niece in a race. She's 25 (I'm more like an older cousin than an aunt) and has always been crazy athletic, and I just started running this year. I haven't been in a race with her since May. Now I can do a 5k in 2 minutes faster than her PR, she's lost interest in running. :cry:
  • alileo727
    alileo727 Posts: 2
    Another mom who lost all her baby fat very quickly and is thinner and more fit then ever. I'm going on #2 and still have baby fat from the last baby. I'm going to work really hard once baby #2 in born and not let this baby fat drag out!
  • lcnelson
    lcnelson Posts: 279 Member
    I'll lighten this up a bit with a different sort of motivation. I LOVE being the one still running another lap (lap= 2-3 miles depending on where I am running.) The ones I am passing, who have stopped running, walking or gotten off the trail are ALL smaller than me. That is my motivation.....I maybe 165 pounds but I can run 10 miles without stopping!!!
  • Maggieq87
    Maggieq87 Posts: 400 Member
    My motivation it to be strong and healthy. But damned if i don't want to be SKINNY. I have been fat since I can remember. Always.

    The vision that I have in my head that keeps me the most motivated; I moved to London from Minnesota. I will be here for a total of 9 months. I havent told anyone back home that I am losing weight. I want to lose an average of 10 pounds a month (met so far, 3 months in) I hope with all my heart, that when I step off that plane in May that my own mother won't recognise me. I want to see the look on all my family's face when I show up to our 4th of July bash. I want with all my heart for someone to see my famliy and I arrive and ask, "Where's Maggie?"
  • liaalyn
    liaalyn Posts: 112 Member
    Wow this was a fun thread! If any HUMAN WOMEN try and say they aren't jealous of anyone...thats a load of crap. No we don't want their lives or maybe not even their faces, but if they can be sexy, why can't we? Hell yeah thats motivation! I used to always just thinkg "well she's built differently than me, I'll never look like her" I'll be damned if I don't! Bring it on skinny *****es.

    (not going for skinny, going for FIT & SEXY!)
  • lloydmel
    lloydmel Posts: 259 Member
    I see certain bodies that I'd love to look like... and now that I'm more comfortable with myself I totally think to myself, I wonder what all they do to get that, or I admire all of the work that it has taken for them to look like that.
    I hate to say it but I'm more motivated by the people I don't want to look like.... it's more of one of those things that I hate to admit because it's not a good kind of motivation; it's more of a judging motivation.... so it's an internal struggle for me to wish I didn't judge others.
  • lloydmel
    lloydmel Posts: 259 Member
    I'll lighten this up a bit with a different sort of motivation. I LOVE being the one still running another lap (lap= 2-3 miles depending on where I am running.) The ones I am passing, who have stopped running, walking or gotten off the trail are ALL smaller than me. That is my motivation.....I maybe 165 pounds but I can run 10 miles without stopping!!!
    [/quote
    Love this!
    I have started feeling this too! I can't run 10 miles just yet but I can run about 5... which is HUGE for me. I love when I'm running at or above the pace of people that all look fit (and most look fitter than me) ;) HUGE NSV for me!!!!
  • Faybelline88
    Faybelline88 Posts: 27
    This FIT AS dancer I saw on holiday...her body was perfect, and her face looked like mine and I could have hair like hers if I keep growing it...I want my boyfriend to look at me like he was looking at her...haha! I have a blatant girl crush!
  • modernsoul
    modernsoul Posts: 148 Member
    My sister. We had a falling out last year. My mom recently told me that she's lost a bunch of weight so that got me thinking that if she can do it I can too. There is no way the next time I see her she is going to be smaller than me. :happy:
  • em1976
    em1976 Posts: 119 Member
    Is it wrong that I just want all the hot guys in the bar to want me and then be able to shoot them down? In the past they won't give me the time of day and MOST of their "effortlessly" skinny female friends are snotty. I just want to show them all up. :laugh:

    So love your honesty:)
  • Snacky_Onassis
    Snacky_Onassis Posts: 9 Member
    My motivation is all of the cute clothes hanging in my closet that I can't wear from my college days! And several I've bought in smaller sizes to torture myself with! There's a blue Anthro dress that I want to wear at Christmas that laughs at me every time I go in the closet to pick out something to wear!

    And my beautiful tan Frye boots that I got from ebay last year that don't fit my porky calves right now ... oh, every mile I run is for those boots. In fact, I want to wear them WITH my blue Anthro dress!! :)
  • mimaduck83
    mimaduck83 Posts: 175 Member
    it's the old green eyed monster again. Jealousy. Other than wanting to be smaller/healthier/fitter etc I am sick of my sister looking at me and making me feel all of 2 inches tall.

    I'm the eldest (se is not wuite 2 years younger) and she has always been the thin sister while I have been the "curvy" one. Well enough already. I want to be the thinner one, the one who can wear nice clothes when I want to, that can run further than she can, that looks as good in pictures and in a bikini.

    I will never be her, but I can be a better me! Oh...and my girlfriend. Although that is not so much an ugly secret as a rude one :bigsmile:
  • classycouture
    classycouture Posts: 888 Member
    I've definitely enjoyed reading through this thread!!

    I feel like everyone has someone (or something) that pushes them towards that "healthy competition" mindset. I have a friend who I see every few months (we live in different states) and knowing I'll be seeing her makes me work out extra hard about 2 weeks before hand. She's absolutely beautiful, thin, and has amazing boobs! (something Iack haha). We've actually talked about this before, and she told me that she feels like she needs to be in her best shape when she sees ME!...

    Not going to lie... It's kind of nice knowing that I'm "that person" for someone else hahah.
  • NeedANewFocus
    NeedANewFocus Posts: 898 Member
    Is it wrong that I just want all the hot guys in the bar to want me and then be able to shoot them down? In the past they won't give me the time of day and MOST of their "effortlessly" skinny female friends are snotty. I just want to show them all up. :laugh:

    I'm not one of the hot guys but I'd be honored to be shot down by you! :flowerforyou:
  • NeedANewFocus
    NeedANewFocus Posts: 898 Member
    .......For so long she has always been the really attrative, unattainable girl in our group of friends. Most of my friends are all good looking, but body wise we are not tip top shape as she is.

    You are incredibly attractive! :flowerforyou:

    [/quote]
    Who secretly motivates you in your life?
    [/quote]

    My cousin motivates me. he was in a car accident about four years ago that left him paralyzed from the waste down. he's still ripped and only about 6% body fat.

    also, ryan reynolds (grrrr hate him :grumble: )
  • elizabunny
    elizabunny Posts: 16
    This whole thread cracks me up. But I TOTALLY know what you mean!!

    ... however, my ugly secret- stays a secret!! hahaha

    You GO girl!
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