I feel like I'm developing an eating disorder...

Chellieee
Chellieee Posts: 4
in Food and Nutrition
:indifferent: Honestly, I feel like I have an eating disorder.
I eat very little calories, about 500 at the most. I freak out really badly if i get NEAR 1,000 calories. I find it hard to believe the recommended amount on labels say 2,200. I weigh myself constantly and am always working off calories, telling myself I have to be at a negative. I hide food all the time and refuse food from people. My motto is "Everytime you say no to food, you say yes to skinny" My boyfriend is always monitoring how much I've eaten, and urging me to eat more so I lie and say I did. I'm 16, a little over 5 feet and weigh 116 pounds. During the summer I weighed 132 pounds. I was always careful about eating for 2 years and hated my body image since I was 5. But it isn't until this past month that I've been really restricting. I haven't passed out from lack of food yet (once from over-exercising) and my BMI isn't in the underweight range. I feel like it's wrong to complain, to even consider an eating disorder (like EDNOS, which is like anorexia but less severe and your weight is still in the healthy range)because I'm not thin enough. I posted my thoughts on Tumblr once and I got an anon telling me I was fat and stupid and trying to get attention by "claiming" I had a disorder when I only put I feel like it's a possibility. Not only that but my parents don't know about this. We don't eat meals as a family unless its a special occasion and I usually eat in my room. So majority of my food goes into zip-lock bags and into the trash. They think I eat. My mother already found out I used to cut, and that's because she saw the scars. I refused to tell her, she just guessed and guessed right. I'm a very closed person, I rarely open up to people unless they have my complete trust, so I know they won't tell anyone that could start something. (I don't know you guys, it's more like a rant I guess) but I just don't know what to do. Could I have an eating disorder? Maybe not dangerous like anorexia and bulimia but possibly just the mental disorder part? Which is another reason I refuse to admit it to myself- it's a mental disorder. Insane. Not me, I couldn't have a mental problem. Just an opinion, a thought, some advice? I don't know what to do, I feel so lost. XOXO~ Chellie

I used to eat 1500 calories about a month or two ago. I saw this one post on Tumblr once and it read "When you're old calorie intake is now considered a binge to you" I was like no...then when I thought about it, it was. 1500 used to be so little, I would always go over, now I freak out if I go over a 1000.

I did the ABC Diet for a week and a half and am currently on the 2468 one... I don't know what to do, How to be healthy again,
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Replies

  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    I would urge you to seek medical attention/professional help.

    EDIT: Immediately.
  • stargazerjana
    stargazerjana Posts: 18 Member
    I would urge you to seek medical attention/professional help.

    I agree!!!!
  • LabRat529
    LabRat529 Posts: 1,323 Member
    I would urge you to seek medical attention/professional help.

    I second this advice. Make an appointment with your primary physician. He/she can take it from there. Most likely, you will be referred to a phycologist and maybe a dietitian.

    But please, please get help.

    And good luck.
  • RobertG86
    RobertG86 Posts: 49
    Shes tiny 5" ish small frame i wouldnt dip below 115
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
    You need to seek help. You used to cut and are currently eating around 500 calories (which IS dangerous) and hide food from everyone who cares about you. Seek help. Since you are only 16 I assume if you are on medical insurance you may not be able to speak to a professional without your parents knowing, but you do need to seek help to resolve your issues before you hurt yourself even more. Open up to your mother or if you think you simply can't look around for a clinic where you may be able to go without parental permission, but you need professional guidance.
  • thor1god1of1awesome
    thor1god1of1awesome Posts: 481 Member
    I would urge you to seek medical attention/professional help.
    Yup go get help now!
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/


    Please talk to someone. It's very important.
  • dezedeze
    dezedeze Posts: 96 Member
    I would urge you to seek medical attention/professional help.

    Agree ^^. But seriously, kudos to you for acknowledging this and posting to the community. Such a huge first step to take. And remember, you don't have to be underweight to have an eating disorder...any altered relation to food can be considered one, especially when it starts to control multiple aspects of your life.

    Speak with your doctor about it ASAP and he/she can help you get the resources you need. Folks are here to help too...but that's no substitute for in-person help.
  • DaniellePF
    DaniellePF Posts: 308 Member
    As an eating disorder survivor, the first step I took to getting better was reaching out and saying "I think I have a problem." You have already done that. I would agree with previous posters that you need to seek professional help with the struggle you have ahead of you. You can and will do it, and I am sorry to hear of your struggles.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
    Yes, you need to seek help. You already have an eating disorder, and you know it -- I mean, your quote is "It's not an eating disorder, it's who I am." So you know what you're doing is unhealthy.

    If you want to change it, get help. If you're in high school, talk to a trusted teacher or guidance counselor. If you're in college, counseling is available to you for free. If you're not in school right now, you can find a private counselor, and if you can't afford one, most areas have free resources available.
  • juliesummers
    juliesummers Posts: 738 Member
    You DO have an eating disorder, regardless of what weight bracket you fall into. Eating disorders are not about what size you are, they're about disordered behavior, obsessions, and thought processes. I struggled with eating disorders for about six years, and I definitely found MFP triggering when I first started (and still do sometimes).
    It's great that you are this open with us about it, but the most important thing for you to do right now is open up about this to your boyfriend and family. I could not begin my recovery until I came out about it to my family to take away the power and shame that comes along with EDs. I also went to a holistic IOP (intensive out patient) treatment center which was tremendously helpful (it included family counseling, art projects, yoga, guided meditation, group meals, restaurant outings, etc).

    Feel free to add me on here, but honestly I'd definitely recommend staying off of MFP because counting calories so closely is definitely triggering (at the treatment center, nobody was allowed to say numbers at all (inches, miles, calories, pounds, etc) because they're triggering for everyone with any type of ED
  • lor007
    lor007 Posts: 884 Member
    Can you speak to your parents about this? If you don't feel comfortable telling them, then perhaps a different family member or a counselor at school? It is very important that you get the help you need and deserve.
  • DesertSunsetRain
    DesertSunsetRain Posts: 194
    Please get help. I know it seems really scary right now, but if you get help NOW then things won't be so bad in the future. This is something that can take over your life and things will become miserable. Don't let an eating disorder take over your life. Take back control now.

    Weight or size has NOTHING to do with if you are a serious case or not, it nothing to do with if you have a problem or not. And EDNOS is not less severe as anorexia or bulimia. It's just as dangerous. The number on the scale doesn't determine whether or not you have a problem. If you are hiding this much food and restricting/exercising this much, you need help.

    Getting help will be the best thing for a happy and healthy life. No more obsessing, no more worrying, no more stress. You can do it.
  • vannessasheane
    vannessasheane Posts: 35 Member
    I agree with everyone. You need to get help, take it from someone that has had a diagnosed eating disorder (anorexia, bulimia, binge eating) it is extremely important for you to get help NOW! I hid my problem and thoughts from anyone and managed to do so for way to long. The longer you wait the harder it is on your body, your brain and your emotional state. I still fight everyday with myself on being negative on what goes in and what doesn't and that was over 14 years ago that I was diagnosed, the longer that you allow yourself to be in that state the harder it will be to overcome what it does to your emotional state, and your metabolism.

    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE seek help
  • AliDarling
    AliDarling Posts: 373
    I would seek both a medical doctor and a psychological one. you said you;ve been worried about your image since 5? at 5 i was worried about going into kindergarden.

    I haven't been 16 in a long time, but I remember the stress of it. I have done the 500 cal a day and it lasted about a week. yes, i lost some weight, but left me with no energry, nothing ever felt good. also see a nutritionist. talk to your gym teacher and counselor
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    You need to talk to your parents,you see that this is a problem and your treading dangerous ground. I urge you to please please speak with your parents get help
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    You are not old, by old they mean 40 plus. You have an eating disorder, I was just the same at your age. Well done for recognising this, now go and get help. Now. Really. Right now.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    I would urge you to seek medical attention/professional help.

    EDIT: Immediately.

    I agree with this.
  • bbbbb33333
    bbbbb33333 Posts: 1,107 Member
    If you are only eating 500 calories a day, worry 1000 is too much and are hiding food, I would say you likely have an eating disorder. I strongly encourage you to talk to your parents!
  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
    Firstly- Like everyone else is saying, you need to see a Doctor so get booked in.

    Secondly - if you do see a octor they can help you lose weight or maintain weight safely

    thirdly, undereating means you're deficient in many things that will be affecting your health, physically and mentally so start eating!

    Thirdly you are eating far too little and to put it in perspective. If you don't eat more... you will die sooner than you should...

    You can lose weight safely on lots more calories and in fact eating too little puts your body in to jeopardy and will stop you losing weight as it hangs on to every last bit of energy going in.

    You're best seeing the doc who will advise you professionally, but a little exercise and a good healthy diet around 1500-2000calories will see you lose weight! Honestly.

    Good luck-go see your doc ASAP!
  • 1smemae94
    1smemae94 Posts: 365 Member
    Hey, i would recommend talking to your parents and having them schedule an appointment with a psychologist and your doctor. They will be able to help talk you through it and help you with what to do next. Don't worry about your weight, worry about your health. Good luck!
  • courtclerkkris
    courtclerkkris Posts: 173 Member
    I am so saddened to read your post. You DO have a eating disorder and do need to get help. Your action right now might not seem like much to you but trust me when I say, what you are doing now will have a HUGE impact on your size when you age. Screwing up your metabolism when you are young will affect you in adverse ways as you grow older. IF you care anything about your family and boyfriend you will share with them what is going on and let them help you. They love you and need you to be healthy.
  • MamaKL5
    MamaKL5 Posts: 69 Member
    Please get help. Talk to someone you trust first, if you're not comfortable talking to a professional. If you're not careful, you're going to end up in the hospital, and I'm sure you don't want that. Please, look after yourself.
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
    As a lot of people have said already:-

    Please speak to your family or a doctor immediately about this. There is no question about it, you are developing an ED. :flowerforyou:
  • BethanyAnn14
    BethanyAnn14 Posts: 39
    i'm the same way
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
    **Good call, FearAndLoating.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    It really worries me that the BF is egging her on with this. WTF is wrong with that dude?

    If you read what she wrote again you will see the boyfriend is trying to make sure she eats
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
    http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/


    Please talk to someone. It's very important.

    This. And ignore the ignorant people who may be PMing you stuck deep in their disorders. There are some hateful anorexics and other ED'ed people on here. Do NOT listen to it. You are beautiful.

    However, you are too young to be on here (partly because of what I said above). Look into professional help with your thinking patterns. Seek out professional help getting you back into eating in a healthy manner. But MFP isn't the place for it until you're 18. I truly wish you the best.
  • akgenkinger
    akgenkinger Posts: 1 Member
    I have a sister that has had eating disorder now for over 20 years. The longer you let this go on the worse it is going to get. You seriously need to come clean with your parents. This is something you don't take seriously. You have made first step by reaching out to strangers on web site now reach on to the ones that love you. Good Luck and I hope you get some help.
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
    dont listen to those people who tell you that you dont have a problem...you do and it will just get worse. The sooner you deal with it the better your chances of success. Weight doesnt matter..labels shouldnt matter. What matters is you are doing damage to your body. Is there anyone you can talk to about this. I have had my ED for 25 years so if you have any questions feel free to ask me. Hang in threre and try to be good to yourself.
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