Grr my boyfriend is pissing me off (work out vent)
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GIRL
I am not sure about this boy. he needs to support you and when you do something great not just tell you what HE THINKS you should be doing better. that is not love he is puting you down to make himself feel good I would kick his 5 hours a day to road. but if you really love him that is the last thing you want to here. So just tell him either support me in my weight loss choices or just shut up0 -
hold the dang phone here
the Op said she is on a diet one day and at McDonalds the next day
maybe the BF is tired of her playin at gettin in shape while he works out 5 hours a day
you guys are ready to hang this guy and its ok for the gal to be back and forth on whether she is on a diet or not?
bunch a man haters
first of all im not a man hater... just like every relationship everyone fights everyone doesnt like everything that there partner says and today i had it... i am usually the girl that lets people say what they want but today i did it...
WHO HERE HAS GOTTEN OFF A DIET? WHO JUST ONE DAY GAVE IN TO TEMPTATION?
i think everyone has!
so dont go calling people out on their character when ur not perfect either0 -
bunch a man haters
LMAO!! Uh oh..........:laugh:0 -
hold the dang phone here
the Op said she is on a diet one day and at McDonalds the next day
maybe the BF is tired of her playin at gettin in shape while he works out 5 hours a day
you guys are ready to hang this guy and its ok for the gal to be back and forth on whether she is on a diet or not?
bunch a man haters
Whatsamatta Dave?? You know we love you
:laugh:
You have a point - she has been wishy washy. But his comments were a little over the top. Sounds like they had that sit down though - hopefully it will get better now. :drinker:0 -
The following is a detailed list of steps I formulated to help you deal with the situation in a rational manner conducive to your own success and happiness.
1. Break up with said boyfriend.
Problem solved.
I agree he sounds like an *kitten*.. sorry but you need to be around people who are going to encourage you and make you feel good about yourself. break up with him! you don't need that and you can definitely find someone better!0 -
hold the dang phone here
the Op said she is on a diet one day and at McDonalds the next day
maybe the BF is tired of her playin at gettin in shape while he works out 5 hours a day
you guys are ready to hang this guy and its ok for the gal to be back and forth on whether she is on a diet or not?
bunch a man haters
Whatsamatta Dave?? You know we love you :laugh:
You have a point - she has been wishy washy. But his comments were a little over the top. Sounds like they had that sit down though - hopefully it will get better now. :drinker:
right
there are ALWAYS 2 sides to a story...hopefully love will bloom again and there will peace on earth0 -
hold the dang phone here
the Op said she is on a diet one day and at McDonalds the next day
maybe the BF is tired of her playin at gettin in shape while he works out 5 hours a day
you guys are ready to hang this guy and its ok for the gal to be back and forth on whether she is on a diet or not?
bunch a man haters
Whatsamatta Dave?? You know we love you :laugh:
You have a point - she has been wishy washy. But his comments were a little over the top. Sounds like they had that sit down though - hopefully it will get better now. :drinker:
right
there are ALWAYS 2 sides to a story...hopefully love will bloom again and there will peace on earth
Pieces on earth?? :ohwell: One or the other I guess!!0 -
That would be the point where I'd be saying bye bye boyfriend.... he has such good leg muscles he can use em to walk!!!
Don't let anyone else (ESPECIALLY MEN) tell you what you're doing isn't worthwhile. You're working your butt off, and in the end it's for you, not anyone else... you are the one who knows what an accomplishment it is. :flowerforyou:0 -
:noway: RED FLAG, RED FLAG!!! Run, run!0
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:flowerforyou: Hi Hurley Cutie 142....First of I want to let you know I will be 57, and I'm a grandma, etc. I have been on plenty of different diets, and stuff in my life. I'm sure you know this...just in case you don't...Do weight training, watch what you eat, and do your baseball. Hurley Cutie you will be the bomb girl, you will knock them dead...If your the size you look in that picture it will only take a couple of months. I did the adkins diet and weight training when I was 25 and I went from a 20 or 22 down to a size 12 in very little time. I worked out 5 days a week just like a job. Now I'm going through the process of having Gastric Bypass Surgery because of my health. You bet after I heal I will be weight training 5 to 7 times a week. I just can't wait to chase down my youngest granchild. Peace out...Mary 4 Jesus :happy:0
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The following is a detailed list of steps I formulated to help you deal with the situation in a rational manner conducive to your own success and happiness.
1. Break up with said boyfriend.
Problem solved.
I second this! I have to say my husband NEVER puts me down like that, not at my heaviest weight, not ever. But, my husband did tell me once that you have to tell guys exactly what you are thinking for them to know what you expect from them and you should tell him how upset this made you and what you are looking for from him when you come home full of pride for an accomplishment. If he can't support you with something so simple what is it going to be like when something big comes along?0 -
so while I agree that I do not like the comments you have related, I also know (from being in a ten year + relationship) that at times you say things to your partner that do not completely reflect the true feelings or nature of the relationship. I have said awful things to my husband, and likewise, he has said horrid things to me. the reason we stay together is those are not the norm, but the exception to the rule. we forgive, move on, and try to be better to each other.
If this is his typical pattern, I do think you should consider whether you want to live with this, and for how long.
If this is not the norm, and you just needed to vent, then I'm glad we were here to listen. :flowerforyou:
Either way, you can accomplish your goals! Stick to the plan and be patient, and stop comparing yourself to anybody else (especially a man, their bodies react differently)
AND congrats on running! You can easily increase your fitness this way! Good job!0 -
so while I agree that I do not like the comments you have related, I also know (from being in a ten year + relationship) that at times you say things to your partner that do not completely reflect the true feelings or nature of the relationship. I have said awful things to my husband, and likewise, he has said horrid things to me. the reason we stay together is those are not the norm, but the exception to the rule. we forgive, move on, and try to be better to each other.
If this is his typical pattern, I do think you should consider whether you want to live with this, and for how long.
If this is not the norm, and you just needed to vent, then I'm glad we were here to listen. :flowerforyou:
Well said! If he says that kind of stuff allthe time or continues to say it now that you've talked, you have a problem. If it was a thoughtless one-time remark... Well, who are any of us to tell you to end a relationship based on one incident you've relayed to us?
You CAN reach your goals and you DO deserve to speak up for yourself when someone undermines you.
peace,
katharine0 -
:noway: RED FLAG, RED FLAG!!! Run, run!
I agree that you are seeing a red flag. I'm not saying that you need to run... yet. BUT - be aware of what he's saying and how he's saying it. Someone who truly loves you will celebrate your successes with you - no matter how big or small. Someone who truly loves you will get his butt off the sofa to hold your feet for you while you do those sit ups.
Take it from someone who has been in an abusive relationship and lived to tell about it... pay attention to the red flags. One of the biggest red flags I missed was my ex telling me, "I like you better without makeup". Sounds wonderful right? Awww... he loves me, just the way I am. Not true... he didn't want anyone else to be attracted to me. Eventually, the only time I wore makeup was to cover the bruises. When he says something to hurt your feelings... pay attention. Talk to him - if it doesn't change, cut bait and run.
Dave - I'm not a man hater... but whether she's been wishy washy or not - he doesn't have the right to make her feel small. We all know that you can't berate someone into making better choices for themselves... it will only make them fall back into old routines.
My husband loves me whether I weigh 286 lbs or 104. He's seen me start more diets and give them up than I care to mention. He's seen me vow to clean the house "this time", get it clean and let it go 2 days later. His positive attitude and love is what gives me the strength to try "one more time". But alas... not everyone can have a man like my Prince Charming. Damn I kissed a lot of frogs to find him!0 -
The following is a detailed list of steps I formulated to help you deal with the situation in a rational manner conducive to your own success and happiness.
1. Break up with said boyfriend.
Problem solved.
this is why I always love advice from Songbyrd. Clear. Practical. Rational. And without any BS.
Seriously, why would you spend time with someone who doesn't celebrate and support anything you're doing to improve and be a healthier person???
And if he only sucks when it comes to this I would have a very clear conversation about what a big fat jerk he's being when he says stuff like that.0 -
is he rich?
LMAO!!!
Ok...there was a lot of really good advice here...and if you were just venting and we all jumped on you, or more particularly your BFs head, eh....its only because we celebrate all the successes even the little ones, and don't understand discouraging positive behavior with meanness.
I will also agree that as women we often expect men to understand what we're thinking or feeling without explaining, and for the most part men and women don't think the same ways....
Way to go you for being able to jog for a half mile....I can make it for about 30 seconds on the treadmill.
and last of all...dave we're not man haters...well I'll speak for myself...i adore men...but sometimes you have to let a guy know when he's being a big jerk...they don't always notice
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Wow I must be the only female to post that isn't thinking he is being a douche-
Okay he made a good point and said you play softball and can only run 1/2 mile that is a good point-
Not to mention she says she does things and doesn't follow through so really he is just going off of her habit.
And he is right as he sits on the couch his muscles are burning calories- Everything he said is true-
Use it as motivation I don't mean to be a B*tch but I don't think what he is saying is all that bad-
It would be different if he was calling you names Like Fatty- or Fat *kitten* ect...
Thats another reason why when your boyfriend/spouse is in great shape compared to the other person the pressure to get fit is stronger--
Not to mention other people need support other ways I have thicker skin and if you think this is harsh - You would hate my husband and his views cause what this man says compared to my husbands views are night and day and alot nastier
he may see what he is doing is motivation--0 -
We all have days where we fall off the wagon (food, not alcohol) and eat something we shouldn't. These are the days that our loved ones should support us more and encourage us to continue.
I personally will not tolerate anyone in my life that is not supportive ALL the time. It doesn't matter how many times I fall and get hit by the wagon, my husband is ALWAYS there to pick me up, dust me off, and get me back on that wagon. That is what true love does (2nd husband).0 -
You know him better than we do, so I really didn't get the "what an *kitten*!" impression.
Maybe he IS an *kitten*, though it sounds like he's just mouthing off for the hell of it. Which at that moment was annoying for you, but talk to him, and if he sees how serious you are, then he'll match it.
Best advice - ignore it. Or mock him right back :laugh: Generally a bad idea to dump someone just because of one comment!0 -
Wow I must be the only female to post that isn't thinking he is being a douche-
Okay he made a good point and said you play softball and can only run 1/2 mile that is a good point-
Not to mention she says she does things and doesn't follow through so really he is just going off of her habit.
And he is right as he sits on the couch his muscles are burning calories- Everything he said is true-
Use it as motivation I don't mean to be a B*tch but I don't think what he is saying is all that bad-
It would be different if he was calling you names Like Fatty- or Fat *kitten* ect...
Thats another reason why when your boyfriend/spouse is in great shape compared to the other person the pressure to get fit is stronger--
Not to mention other people need support other ways I have thicker skin and if you think this is harsh - You would hate my husband and his views cause what this man says compared to my husbands views are night and day and alot nastier
he may see what he is doing is motivation--
LOL based on this thread's different responses, we can categorize everyone's significant other :laugh:0
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