Please help me...

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2

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  • margojr4
    margojr4 Posts: 259 Member
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    What is your daily menu like? What kind of foods to you eat? Maybe some of us can help you with suggestions to tweak your food choices?
  • gp79
    gp79 Posts: 1,799 Member
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    Log everything that passes between your lips. Do you currently log your food? Can you share your diary with us?
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Ok, first, you need to calm down. I think that's your main problem - you're so upset you're stressing your body to the max. May be part of the reason you're not losing weight.

    Second, throw the freaking scales out the window. I'm serious. Let's approach this as a healthy lifestyle change, not a number on a scale. That's what you want, isn't it? To be healthier.

    Next, make sure you have all your info in MFP. Put in details to lose 1 lb a week. Log every bite that goes into your mouth. Watch the number of calories you're allowed to have like a hawk - and make sure you log all exercise. Eat no fewer than 100 calories less than MFP recommends. Watch the calorie count throughout the day so that you're not gorging yourself at night.

    Take your measurements. The normal chest, waist and hips, but also thighs and calfs and biceps and triceps.

    Now comes the hardest part. Patience. Don't go near a scale or take your measurements for 6 weeks. Yes, that's an incredibly long time. But, you have to give your body time to detox from all the stress you've been putting it through.

    And, you need to remember that a slow and steady weight loss is healthier than one that's quick. And, our bodies can go up and down a few lbs in one day- it's perfectly normal.

    Friend me if you'd like. And, feel free to send me messages if you're freaking out. You can do this. You just have to stop being mean to yourself.
  • trelm249
    trelm249 Posts: 777 Member
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    First off. Sure. You are over weight. You have a lot company on that one.
    Second. You have an unhealthy relationship with food and how you perceive yourself. Again, you have a lot of company.
    Third. Chemicals helped screw up your weight previously. There isn't a good reason to think they are part of the solution. You don't need them.

    Getting fit and healthy is where you should be headed. Get your head screwed on right about this. If you focus on some arbitrary number on a scale and getting there quickly, you will only get yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically more jacked up.

    Set a reasonable goal of 1 to 2 lbs loss a week to establish caloric goals. Be honest and if that goal comes in at somewhere between 1500 and 2000 calories, don't second guess it. Eat. Eat healthy whole foods that aren't overly processed. Eat a good ratio of protein, carbs, and fats (which are not evil). Food is fuel. It isn't your enemy and it isn't your lover. It's just fuel. Log everything.

    Exercise regularly. Three times a week for half an hour a time is a good start. Don't go overboard and don't skip it. Go walk. Go lift at the gym. Ride a bike. Whatever it is, do it regularly. It will help your metabolism. It will help teach the body to burn fat. More importantly, it will help manage stress and improve your mental well being. Log everything.

    Be patient. Give it eight weeks before you make changes. Your body will need time to get with the program. Patience and persistence will get you there.

    Get your head in the game and you can make the change. Don't get your head in the game and you flame out and flake out. Good luck.
  • Ebbykins
    Ebbykins Posts: 420 Member
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    First, you need to know that you're not alone in your struggles. There are MANY people on here (including myself) who have tried less-than-healthy ways to weight loss, and have felt the same sadness and hopelessness.

    Second, have you thought about seeking out a therapist? While you'll get some support here, sometimes professional support (in additional to personal) can be extremely helpful and enlightening. And there's absolutely no shame in looking for professional help. The feelings that we tie to our bodies can be REALLY hard to sort out, and sometimes an outsider can help the most.

    Third, my completely unprofessional opinion is that you're not eating enough. Fill your body with foods that are nutritious: 500 calories of a salad with grilled chicken is totally different than 500 calories of marshmallows (but I'm not saying that this is what you're doing! I haven't peeked at your diary.). The whole "1200 minimum" has gotten a lot of varied reactions from this community (just search for it-- there's been a LOT of debate), but I eat quite a bit more than that, and all of my exercise calories back, but I know that that's what works for me. It seems like you've seen that eating very little doesn't work for your body, so try to be willing to try something different.

    Friend me for support, if you'd like. Getting into healthy habits (not just weight loss) can be a very long road, but it will be worth it in the end. <3

    I won't go to a therapist again for this. Already tried. They told me I don't have to lose weight. I DO NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. I HAVE NO CHOICE. I am sick over my weight. :( I felt fine until I got fat. That is when my SEVERE depression and arthritis started. I lost a lot of my strength very fast. I have been from doctor to doctor looking for a medical condition and they can't find one.

    The therapists all say the exact same thing. You look fine. Yeah, you're a little big, but so what.

    It matters SO much to me because my family has a history of diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure... a lot of disease caused by becoming overweight! This is a big, big, big deal. It has also taken a serious toll on my ability to do all the things I'd like to do. Such as maybe one day, wear a bikini... or have a boyfriend who won't call me a fat***. :( Stuff like that. Why must this be IMPOSSIBLE to obtain!?

    I am so sorry to hear this happened to you, the Depo really screwed up 2 other people I care about as well, like you they both gained huge amounts of lbs in a short time and are both still working hard to take the weight off. It will take time. Patience. I suggest googling support online from others who have been in your shoes from Depo BC weight gain. YOU CAN DO THIS.
  • Becxox
    Becxox Posts: 52 Member
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    Lizchan you need to change your mindframe from i can't to I CAN and only you can do it.
    I log on every day so if you want we can do this together, make your food diary public to keep you accoutable and yes log everything that passes your lips.

    I am here for you if you want me to be and so is everyone else!

    I am happy to message you everyday to remind us to stay positive and things will change.

    Weekly weigh ins might help too, take measurements and post them, its hard now but if you stick to this you will see changes :)
  • ansinclair8
    ansinclair8 Posts: 24 Member
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    I know what it's like to feel terrible about your body. To avoid cameras and mirrors because you don't want to see yourself. Alot of people on this site do. I also know what depression feels like. I've suffered with it since grade school. I am so much better now, but depression doesn't just disappear. I have been on a rollercoaster with my weight for at least ten years. Recently I realized that my problem is that I don't love myself. I don't feel like I deserve to be thin and healthy. It was like a light bulb turned on in me and I realized that if i put myself down, hate myself and tell myself I'm not worthy of anything better, than my weight will continue to go up and down. I am beginning to accept myself and love myself because even if I'm not happy with the way I look, I am a good, compassionate person. Beautiful on the inside and that's what matters. The other thing is telling myself that I can do it. Before I didn't think I could, but now I'm feeling a sense of accomplishment as I face this struggle head on. I know I can achieve my goal without a doubt in my mind. Please, please don't starve yourself. You need to feed your body to lose the weight. Yes, it's a long struggle, but with nutritional education, realizing you are special and deserve to feel special and a great support system such as MFP you can go far. If you'd like to friend me I would be happy to help support you on your journey. Good luck my dear. You can do it!
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
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    bump...
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    bumps...
    Fixed it.
  • Janeilicious
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    Please don't starve your body. Doing that only sets you up for failure. It puts your body into starvation mode and it will store any carbs or sugar you put into it as FAT. You need to eat. You just need to be burning more than what you're putting in. It's easy to feel like you can't do anything when you're depressed. Sure it's easier to stay inside and not get out and be active. Think about how much better you will feel about YOURSELF as a person if you just take a 15 min walk around your neighborhood. You can do it! Don't give up.
  • lhg005
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    From what it looks like, and I have read many of the posts so far, it seems that whatever anyone suggests to you isn't good enough. When I read your original post I had some good advice in mind to give you, so I read some of the replies so I wouldn't sound redundant. So many people took the time to hear your story and give you excellent advice, and each time you reply by whining more.

    Sorry, but you need to hear this. By seeing how defensive you have been to most advice, I would bet that you have not yet tried a healthy diet and healthy exercise regimen. No, this does not meaning eating a little and exercising a lot. I bet you confused the heck out of your body by all these crazy regimens you've been doing.

    Eat in moderation, exercise in moderation. I'm betting you will say that you've already done this, and it hasn't worked. If that is actually the case, you need to see a doctor. Bring up the possibility of a thyroid issue.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    I almost did get fat overnight, actually.
    I was taking Depo Provera birth control. I went from 140 to 200 in two months.
    I got off of that awful thing and the weight gain stopped.
    I didn't care for a long time because the gaining stopped.
    But then when I was trying to lose weight after being off of the shot for a few months, NOTHING.
    I have now been off of it for over a year.
    140 to 200 in two months, that's a pound a day.
    That must have turned your self image upside down.
    Best of luck to you.
    I am sure soon enough you will turn it around.
  • Lizchan
    Lizchan Posts: 60 Member
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    From what it looks like, and I have read many of the posts so far, it seems that whatever anyone suggests to you isn't good enough. When I read your original post I had some good advice in mind to give you, so I read some of the replies so I wouldn't sound redundant. So many people took the time to hear your story and give you excellent advice, and each time you reply by whining more.

    Sorry, but you need to hear this. By seeing how defensive you have been to most advice, I would bet that you have not yet tried a healthy diet and healthy exercise regimen. No, this does not meaning eating a little and exercising a lot. I bet you confused the heck out of your body by all these crazy regimens you've been doing.

    Eat in moderation, exercise in moderation. I'm betting you will say that you've already done this, and it hasn't worked. If that is actually the case, you need to see a doctor. Bring up the possibility of a thyroid issue.

    I really have been doing this.

    I eat things like black grapes, whole wheat bread with at least 4g of fiber, fat free milk and cereal, oatmeal, boiled eggs, salads with little dressing, no cheese. If I am eating bad, I eat a cheese stick or have a few sips of soda. I drink mainly water. The last time I had soda was weeks ago. I try my best to drink four to six bottled waters a day.

    For exercise, I use my Wii Fit for a few hours a day most days, I do stretches with resistance bands, I walk at LEAST a mile a day every day. I try to get to 10,000 steps on my pedometer. I don't ALWAYS do it, but I do most days.

    I have been to a doctor, explained to them the situation, they have ran numerous tests, they ran more that they never ran before recently. I can't get those results back 'til I go back to them the week after this upcoming week. They are testing me for Cushing's disease. They said my thyroid and everything else appears to be fine. They were a little alarmed at my heart. There is a layer of fat on our hearts. The layer of fat on mine is kind of thin and I have a heart murmur that I haven't always had.

    I have been doing everything I can, please trust me on this. I spend every day on my life trying to fix this. It's been like this for a long time.

    You don't understand. I read a lot online. About the REASON I got fat... which was Depo Provera birth control shot. Most of those people haven't even done as well as I have. I've been doing the very, very best I can. I wasn't eating bad, I don't enjoy eating bad. I was very active and still gained weight. There really are others like me.
  • cjack19
    cjack19 Posts: 158 Member
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    I used the depo as well and gained a ton of weight over the time that I was on it (about 50 lbs in all). I have started dropping the weight, it took some time, but now that I am sticking with this site and the changes I have made I have started to lose the weight. Don't give up!! Stick with it, it will come off... please don't use the diet pills!!! Try to find a different counsellor to talk too, and be honest with them about how you feel so they can help you get through this! Be patient, it comes off ...it just takes time.:flowerforyou:
  • Lizchan
    Lizchan Posts: 60 Member
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    I do read everything you guys have told me... I do appreciate all of it. I'm doing my best, please trust me on that.

    Yes, I'm EXTREMELY stressed about my weight. I get so stressed that I will forget to eat and end up passing out because food is horrifying to me. I read that you guys told me that I need to eat... but please understand that it's hard for me. A therapist thinks that I could easily develop anorexia. I could. I would like to become skinny. Anything I can do to be skinny, I will probably do it.
    I eat because I must.

    I'll start logging everything starting tomorrow. I also start my diet pills tomorrow. They told me it would be very important to keep a food log to see that I get enough calories when I start this pill so that I can get adequate calories and water. They told me I could forget to eat and that the diet pills are like meth/crack. I didn't like that..but whatever.

    I am doing this more for someone I love than myself... so that he won't hurt me anymore... he has harmed me in so many ways over my weight. My parents even call me a fat piece of crud and stuff. I have been laughed at in public numerous times. I live in Florida, many people are under a healthy weight here. So being overweight or obese is bad.

    The doctors also said I have got to lose weight with my family history. That if I don't lose the weight, it's going to be very hard for me later, too. More than it is now, even.

    I will say this -- he told me to eat SmartOnes, Lean Cuisines and South Beach Diet frozen dinners. He did this and lost a LOT of weight. He tells a lot of his patients to do this. They have been doing it and he has before and after pictures. However... I am not sure if I can do that. He did say the whole diet would not be these. That I would have to include fruits and vegetables in my diet, which I already do. I don't really like these frozen dinners much... I would rather just eat a sandwich with fiber bread, lean meat like turkey and some lettuce and tomato.

    Please, please, please read about why I got fat... Depo Provera birth control. I am terrified because I have read a lot of things about this for the past year. Some of those poor people still haven't lost anything. I have done well to even lose more than a pound on it is what they are saying. There is even someone who has posted on this topic about two friends that are suffering the way I am all thanks to that shot.
  • Lizchan
    Lizchan Posts: 60 Member
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    You are losing weight with this site? I will stay here and keep trying. I'll call tomorrow day one for this site...
    Depo Provera... I can't think of something worse than that.

    I DO have a birth control right now... it is Implanon. But I have not gained any weight on it. I did not lose a single pound until putting it in, actually... I felt like garbage until they gave me Implanon. I still feel like garbage... but it does help me. I can't say for sure if it would help everyone. I wish I could...
  • calderst
    calderst Posts: 222 Member
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    I know you said you've spoken to doctors... but have you spoken with your gynecologist about all of it? Even though you have gone off the depo, you could simply have a hormone imbalance. This would wreak havoc on your weight AND your emotional welfare. I actually went off all BC because it made me crazy-- anxiety, sleeplessness, depression, some weight gain, etc. My regular doctor just told me to stop eating carbs for the weight gain-- my gynecologist took it much more seriously. I know you're on a different type now but that doesn't necessarily straighten out your hormones if you have other issues (i.e. I have endometriosis).
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    Please, please, please read about why I got fat... Depo Provera birth control. I am terrified because I have read a lot of things about this for the past year. Some of those poor people still haven't lost anything. I have done well to even lose more than a pound on it is what they are saying. There is even someone who has posted on this topic about two friends that are suffering the way I am all thanks to that shot.
    I think that most folks have read what you wrote about the Depo Provera. They are offering ideas. Would you rather they throw their hands up and say, "Well, in that case, I have no idea"?

    It might be tougher or slower due to the Depo, but the solution will still be: hard work, determination and a positive attitude. :flowerforyou:
  • millerll
    millerll Posts: 873 Member
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    Yes, I'm EXTREMELY stressed about my weight. I get so stressed that I will forget to eat and end up passing out because food is horrifying to me. I read that you guys told me that I need to eat... but please understand that it's hard for me. A therapist thinks that I could easily develop anorexia. I could. I would like to become skinny. Anything I can do to be skinny, I will probably do it.
    I eat because I must.

    I'll start logging everything starting tomorrow. I also start my diet pills tomorrow.

    I am doing this more for someone I love than myself... so that he won't hurt me anymore... he has harmed me in so many ways over my weight. My parents even call me a fat piece of crud and stuff.

    There is much more going on here than your diet or exercise. You feel that food is horrifying to you. You are attempting to lose weight to please an abusive partner. And you plan on taking potentially dangerous diet pills.

    All of these are clear indications that you should get some professional help from a mental health counselor with experience in eating disorders. What's going on in your life right now is neither healthy nor typical.

    I would like to tell you to get away from the person who is abusing you, throw away the diet pills, and eat a healthy diet and get some reasonable exercise. However, I don't know if you're in a position mentally to listen to this advice. Please see a professional about this. Good luck to you.
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    I am doing this more for someone I love than myself... so that he won't hurt me anymore... he has harmed me in so many ways over my weight. My parents even call me a fat piece of crud and stuff. I have been laughed at in public numerous times. I live in Florida, many people are under a healthy weight here. So being overweight or obese is bad.

    These are unhealthy relationships. You deserve better. YOU DESERVE BETTER!! Being overweight isn't good on many levels - you know that, and most of the people on this site know this personally, as well - that's why most of us are here. But, it is not a justification for people treating you badly or calling you names. That's bullying, plain and simple. I wish you could get away from these people. You may love them, but they are toxic if they are driving you to such extremes.

    I know therapy hasn't worked for you in the past, but I think you might want to talk to someone about your relationships with these people. I don't think you necessarily need therapy dealing with your weight, but I do think having someone work with you on your self esteem is a good idea. YOU DESERVE BETTER.