really bad diet tips [don't try these at home]

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_snw_
_snw_ Posts: 1,305 Member
in Chit-Chat
About 5 weeks ago when I decided I had to lose 25 lbs of the 35lbs I gained in 3 months, I googled a lot of diet tips. And boy, are there some weird ones out there. Here's my top 3.


~ laxatives / laxatives / laxatives. (which i really don't get. if i was taking laxatives and ate a dozen donuts, would I somehow stop the calories from being absorbed by immediately pooping them out?)

~ Berate your food to show IT is not in control of you. ("You suck apple! You're all red and stuff! Stupid Apple!!!)

~ Have a craving for your favorite food? Go get it or go make it. Then, before you eat it, spray it with perfume. That'll teach you that your favorite food doesn't taste good anymore. (um, all that would teach me would be to NOT use my perfume as a breathe spray)


What about you? What was the strangest one you've ever heard?
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Replies

  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    No food (or carbs) after [some magical time] o'clock.

    The something-or-other cleanse.

    HCG

    Cabbage Soup diet
  • wbgolden
    wbgolden Posts: 2,071 Member
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    LOL I have never thought of berating stupid apples.
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    Cutting out any food group. Or nutrient or ingredient. Ie no salt, no sugar, etc. Um, salt and sugar occur naturally in most foods...
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    LOL I have never thought of berating stupid apples.

    Stupid apples need the most encouragement.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    lay on the floor in the fetal position it will make your hunger pangs go away.
  • Cristy_AZ
    Cristy_AZ Posts: 986
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    No food (or carbs) after [some magical time] o'clock.

    This

    I have a co-worker that eats her dinner AT work around 4:00 and eats NOTHING until the next morning and is very very adament that everyone should do this!!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    Cutting out any food group. Or nutrient or ingredient. Ie no salt, no sugar, etc. Um, salt and sugar occur naturally in most foods...
    Yep yep... Except of course if you're allergic (as I am) but then it's not cutting them out to lose weight, it's cutting them out to not get violently ill.
    Otherwise, your body needs nutrients that come from a variety of food sources (including... the dreaded CARB!).
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member
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    LOL I have never thought of berating stupid apples.

    And you wonder why they're running around like they own the place...
  • inthebetween
    inthebetween Posts: 13
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    what kind of masochist came up with that perfume one?
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
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    That tea doesn't count as water.

    :flowerforyou:
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,305 Member
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    what kind of masochist came up with that perfume one?


    i don't know which one is my favorite, the berating food or perfume one.
  • PennyNickel14
    PennyNickel14 Posts: 749 Member
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    That corn, english peas, and potatoes are the enemy. Someone once told me that i got fat because I ate potatoes. Yep it could not possibly be that I was eating too much - nope it was the evil potato.

    /facepalm
  • heykatieben
    heykatieben Posts: 398 Member
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    LOL!

    I had a friend who'd eat anything he wanted... and by "eat", that meant chew it up, and spit it out. Zero calories, but a terrible relationship with food. Don't try this at home. :p
  • shunyata13
    shunyata13 Posts: 71 Member
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    It was not a diet tip but some friends always said they would pray the calories out of chocolate and anything else fattening before they ate it. As if some higher power will remove the calories! LOL I do feel sorry for the berated apple though and may friend it on Facebook and Twitter to let it know its not alone!
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
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    No food (or carbs) after [some magical time] o'clock.

    This

    I have a co-worker that eats her dinner AT work around 4:00 and eats NOTHING until the next morning and is very very adament that everyone should do this!!

    Farkin LOL. Wow!

    Don't tell her about the pop tarts, PB&CO, oats & pumpkin pie I ate about 15mins before going to bed last night.

    Oh snap, insulin fairy coming to store the carbs as fat overnight :tongue:
  • heykatieben
    heykatieben Posts: 398 Member
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    Had another friend who wanted to lose weight in college, but also wanted to party... so she went on a nearly beer-only diet, with sometimes a salad.. but all veggies, no cheese or dressing or anything. She actually did lose a significant amount of weight, though she couldn't have felt great. #badcollegeadvice
  • kahlee2000
    kahlee2000 Posts: 77
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    I just have to say THANK YOU!!! You have provided me with the laugh of the day! This is priceless. And someone watch out for those apples. They may be driving cars without our knowing it!:laugh:
  • trybefan
    trybefan Posts: 488 Member
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    I like to drop elbows from the top rope on my food!! I swear by this!!

    Any "Cleanse Diet"
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    Oh oh oh!

    SENSA! I forgot about Sensa - just sprinkle it on your food an VOILA! You'll magically reduce your appetite and lose weight while still eating CRAP.
  • shunyata13
    shunyata13 Posts: 71 Member
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    I had a relative eat only salads and peanuts for her diet. She didn't loose weight but her eyebrows and eye lashes started to fall out. One co-worker went the laxative route and because she wasn't eating too much she also didn't have much stuff to come out. One day she took a lot of laxatives since nothing was happening. At lunch she was walking to the store and everything started to release. She had to buy new clothes and never did the laxative diet again as far as I know.

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