really bad diet tips [don't try these at home]

_snw_
_snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
edited October 5 in Chit-Chat
About 5 weeks ago when I decided I had to lose 25 lbs of the 35lbs I gained in 3 months, I googled a lot of diet tips. And boy, are there some weird ones out there. Here's my top 3.


~ laxatives / laxatives / laxatives. (which i really don't get. if i was taking laxatives and ate a dozen donuts, would I somehow stop the calories from being absorbed by immediately pooping them out?)

~ Berate your food to show IT is not in control of you. ("You suck apple! You're all red and stuff! Stupid Apple!!!)

~ Have a craving for your favorite food? Go get it or go make it. Then, before you eat it, spray it with perfume. That'll teach you that your favorite food doesn't taste good anymore. (um, all that would teach me would be to NOT use my perfume as a breathe spray)


What about you? What was the strangest one you've ever heard?
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Replies

  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    No food (or carbs) after [some magical time] o'clock.

    The something-or-other cleanse.

    HCG

    Cabbage Soup diet
  • wbgolden
    wbgolden Posts: 2,066 Member
    LOL I have never thought of berating stupid apples.
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 992 Member
    Cutting out any food group. Or nutrient or ingredient. Ie no salt, no sugar, etc. Um, salt and sugar occur naturally in most foods...
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    LOL I have never thought of berating stupid apples.

    Stupid apples need the most encouragement.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    lay on the floor in the fetal position it will make your hunger pangs go away.
  • Cristy_AZ
    Cristy_AZ Posts: 986
    No food (or carbs) after [some magical time] o'clock.

    This

    I have a co-worker that eats her dinner AT work around 4:00 and eats NOTHING until the next morning and is very very adament that everyone should do this!!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    Cutting out any food group. Or nutrient or ingredient. Ie no salt, no sugar, etc. Um, salt and sugar occur naturally in most foods...
    Yep yep... Except of course if you're allergic (as I am) but then it's not cutting them out to lose weight, it's cutting them out to not get violently ill.
    Otherwise, your body needs nutrients that come from a variety of food sources (including... the dreaded CARB!).
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member
    LOL I have never thought of berating stupid apples.

    And you wonder why they're running around like they own the place...
  • inthebetween
    inthebetween Posts: 13
    what kind of masochist came up with that perfume one?
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
    That tea doesn't count as water.

    :flowerforyou:
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    what kind of masochist came up with that perfume one?


    i don't know which one is my favorite, the berating food or perfume one.
  • PennyNickel14
    PennyNickel14 Posts: 749 Member
    That corn, english peas, and potatoes are the enemy. Someone once told me that i got fat because I ate potatoes. Yep it could not possibly be that I was eating too much - nope it was the evil potato.

    /facepalm
  • heykatieben
    heykatieben Posts: 398 Member
    LOL!

    I had a friend who'd eat anything he wanted... and by "eat", that meant chew it up, and spit it out. Zero calories, but a terrible relationship with food. Don't try this at home. :p
  • shunyata13
    shunyata13 Posts: 71 Member
    It was not a diet tip but some friends always said they would pray the calories out of chocolate and anything else fattening before they ate it. As if some higher power will remove the calories! LOL I do feel sorry for the berated apple though and may friend it on Facebook and Twitter to let it know its not alone!
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    No food (or carbs) after [some magical time] o'clock.

    This

    I have a co-worker that eats her dinner AT work around 4:00 and eats NOTHING until the next morning and is very very adament that everyone should do this!!

    Farkin LOL. Wow!

    Don't tell her about the pop tarts, PB&CO, oats & pumpkin pie I ate about 15mins before going to bed last night.

    Oh snap, insulin fairy coming to store the carbs as fat overnight :tongue:
  • heykatieben
    heykatieben Posts: 398 Member
    Had another friend who wanted to lose weight in college, but also wanted to party... so she went on a nearly beer-only diet, with sometimes a salad.. but all veggies, no cheese or dressing or anything. She actually did lose a significant amount of weight, though she couldn't have felt great. #badcollegeadvice
  • kahlee2000
    kahlee2000 Posts: 77
    I just have to say THANK YOU!!! You have provided me with the laugh of the day! This is priceless. And someone watch out for those apples. They may be driving cars without our knowing it!:laugh:
  • trybefan
    trybefan Posts: 488 Member
    I like to drop elbows from the top rope on my food!! I swear by this!!

    Any "Cleanse Diet"
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    Oh oh oh!

    SENSA! I forgot about Sensa - just sprinkle it on your food an VOILA! You'll magically reduce your appetite and lose weight while still eating CRAP.
  • shunyata13
    shunyata13 Posts: 71 Member
    I had a relative eat only salads and peanuts for her diet. She didn't loose weight but her eyebrows and eye lashes started to fall out. One co-worker went the laxative route and because she wasn't eating too much she also didn't have much stuff to come out. One day she took a lot of laxatives since nothing was happening. At lunch she was walking to the store and everything started to release. She had to buy new clothes and never did the laxative diet again as far as I know.
  • joanneeee
    joanneeee Posts: 311 Member
    LOL!

    I had a friend who'd eat anything he wanted... and by "eat", that meant chew it up, and spit it out. Zero calories, but a terrible relationship with food. Don't try this at home. :p

    isn't this 'chew and spit' which is used by people with E.D.s... might want to talk to your friend about that.
  • gremlet
    gremlet Posts: 21 Member
    Oh oh oh!

    SENSA! I forgot about Sensa - just sprinkle it on your food an VOILA! You'll magically reduce your appetite and lose weight while still eating CRAP.

    And don't forget, it only works if you *sprinkle* it on. It won't work if you mix it into your food. :laugh:
  • cofakid
    cofakid Posts: 213 Member
    all those adds for really any kinda of magic weightloss tip. like "fat magnet" tables that magically draw the fat out of your body like a magnent. No joke the adds are on tv all the time. and similar weightloss drugs, or even imo weightloss meal replacement, yeah it works but if u do that for two months and then start eating meals like you were you will put the weight back on.

    Also ppl always saying muscle weighs more than fat. i know that true but trust me i got enough fat on my body to outweigh the muscle for sure!

    and ppl always yell at me if i use the word diet - like somehoe refering to it as a diet will make it no longer work. even if i use the word diet as in what foood i eat lol

    im sure theres more but i really cant think of them...
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
    That breakfast boosts your metabolism!! :laugh: :laugh:
  • jasmineheaven
    jasmineheaven Posts: 189
    I thought laxatives were fine to use as long as you dont abuse them. They clean out you system especially if you're constantly constipated.
  • mwoneis
    mwoneis Posts: 45
    I thought laxatives were fine to use as long as you dont abuse them. They clean out you system especially if you're constantly constipated.

    From experience when I was pregnant with my son my doctor prescribed me stool softeners but I don't think i'd ever abuse them because yah they really DO work!!!

    You guys are cracking me up with the fracking apple thing. I talk crap to my food all the time! :laugh:
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Eat at least 10 meals per day to keep your metabolism fire burnin' ALL.... NIGHT.... LONG...
  • kimmie185
    kimmie185 Posts: 550 Member
    LOL I have never thought of berating stupid apples.

    Stupid apples need the most encouragement.

    This made me laugh so hard :D !!!
  • AshDHart
    AshDHart Posts: 818 Member
    LOL I have never thought of berating stupid apples.

    I was feeling sorry for the apples until I read this and laughed, choked on my water, and had a coughing jag for several minutes. :laugh: The poor apples. :laugh:
  • itsshadowwithane
    itsshadowwithane Posts: 114 Member
    LOL!

    I had a friend who'd eat anything he wanted... and by "eat", that meant chew it up, and spit it out. Zero calories, but a terrible relationship with food. Don't try this at home. :p
    ive totally done this with the tootie frooties they give you at planet fitness hahahaha
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